


Skies and Seas (and us in-between)

by ladyzeia



Series: Coast Guard / Open Water AU [3]
Category: Free!
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Fluff, Flying, Japan Coast Guard, Japanese National Team, M/M, Natural Disasters, Open Water Swimming, Pilots, Slice of Life, Summer Olympics, Swimming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-01
Updated: 2019-03-02
Packaged: 2019-06-19 19:53:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 118,613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15517374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladyzeia/pseuds/ladyzeia
Summary: Rin had a good reason for joining the Japan Coast Guard and he didn't regret it.  He wasn't giving up swimming--of course not.  Rescue swimmers were the best swimmers, after all.  Notcompetingthough, especially with Haru swimming on the world's stage...just sometimes,occasionally, sort of felt like not breathing.Language / adult situations.  **Please read warnings on individual chapters.**  M-rated content in specific chapters (will be noted).





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Background in [Part 1](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15321864), [Part 2](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15397134/chapters/35735517), and [Red sky at morning](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15246648).
> 
> I'm really on the fence about the rating, but there's likely to be some T+/M- content in specific chapters.
> 
> Some In Pursuit OC's have cameos...b/c I'm lazy af and don't want to create new characters.
> 
> The timeline in this piece is shifted later than canon, by one year (I think).

* * *

Sydney, June of 2010

* * *

Haru’s email was just a link to YouTube—no context, no commentary.  Like usual.  _You lazy ass_.  Still, Rin was eager as he settled in, one leg propped over the arm of his desk chair, munching on toast as he hit _Play_. 

The video started five minutes and thirty-seven seconds in, Haru (make that ‘dripping wet and still-breathless Haru’) standing with a reporter in front of a sandy beach with gentle waves rolling on shore.  There was activity in the background, swimmers and race officials milling about, etc, etc, but Rin saw none of that—not with sunlight sparkling off Haru’s damp hair and shoulders and his chest heaving as he caught his breath.  Haru’s bronzed skin was slightly flushed from exertion, the black, full-length techsuit _sculpted_ to his abs, and there was something almost mesmerizing about the way water droplets ran down the fabric, catching here and there and—  (At which point, Rin forgot how to chew or swallow or that staring was rude). 

Four seconds in, blue eyes flicked to the camera.

Rin nearly choked, sitting upright as he coughed and grabbed his glass of milk to wash the bite down.  _Damnit, Haru._

_“Nanase-senshu, congratulations on your second-place finish.  Your time today is a personal best, isn’t it?”_

Haru’s attention returned to the reporter as she held out the microphone (mercifully allowing Rin to gather himself).  _“Yes, thank you.”_

_“Can you explain this recent shift in focus?  After Worlds last year in Rome, you have the National Record in the two hundred free, as well as the Asian Record you share with your teammates in the four-by-two hundred free.  We all expected you’d be hungry for the medals you missed out on, yet ever since then, you’ve been training—almost exclusively—for open water.”_

Haru’s classically stoic expression softened, warmth reflected in his eyes and smile.  _“I’m not giving up the pool.  Relays, in particular, are still special to me, ever since the first one I swam in sixth grade.”_

There was no point in trying to eat after that, Rin sighing as his cheeks heated.  Returning his half-finished toast to his plate, he hunkered down in the chair, resting his forearms on the edge of the desk and his chin on top as he gazed at the screen.

 _“But,”_ Haru paused, his eyes as tender as his voice, _“the ocean’s where I feel closest to someone—someone far away right now, but very important to me.”_

 _Haru_.  Rin melted inside, a sudden sting in his eyes as he bit his lower lip and smiled.  _I love you, too_.

_“Well, obviously a very lucky individual.”_

Haru nodded matter-of-factly at that. 

 _You ham_.

_“As for the near-term, Nanase-senshu, can we expect that you’re aiming for the open water championships in Tokyo, this fall?”_

_“Definitely.”_   Blue eyes sharpened.  _“You can expect me to win, too.”_

 _“Haha!  Not if I have anything to do about it!”_   A second—taller—swimmer came into frame, throwing a damp arm around Haru’s shoulders.  The guy had fiery orange-red hair—spikey and askew—and a broad grin.

 _“Mikoshiba-senshu!”_   The reporter looked delighted.  _“Congratulations on your win today.”_

 _“Thank you!”_   Mikoshiba winked at the camera, giving a cheesy thumbs-up. 

 _“Haruka!”_   Another swimmer appeared, latching onto Haru’s left arm as she flicked long black hair behind her shoulder.  _“Stop monopolizing the media.”_

Haru exhaled through his nose, throwing the camera a very clear, _Save me, Rin._

Rin chuckled, going back to his breakfast as the reporter began to interview the two newcomers—both of whom swam alongside Haru with Team Japan in Rome, last year.

His heart tugged at him, not for the first time and not for the last, the food sticking in his throat just a little.  Rin reached for the calendar on the wall, flipping over to August, with the 3rd circled in blue ink.

Not that he was counting the days or anything.

Rin finished eating as the interview ended, logging off after a quick reply.  _[Nice vid, Haru.]_

He dressed for the day, donning his navy-blue uniform jacket last, with reflective striping on the shoulders and the _Rin Matsuoka, Aircrewman_ patch on the right side of the chest, below wings in silver stitching.  It probably should’ve said _Intern_ , but it didn’t.  From the first day he’d arrived in Sydney as part of the Coast Guard exchange program, he’d been a member of the team.  Six months in, the pride and thrill still hadn’t worn off.

The Sydney suburb of Little Bay was sunny outside Rin’s bedroom window—clear blue skies with plenty of visibility above the houses and trees.  It was a beautiful day for flying.

Rin double-checked his flight bag as well as his gear for the pool, later.  A stack of English textbooks on the corner of the desk would be his date for the evening, ahead of all-day classes Saturday and Sunday this weekend.  Maybe he’d write another essay about the water in English and send it to Haru.  _Just because I love you._ Haru made the best irritated face whenever he did that—lips pursed into a frown, blue eyes flattened into a mild glare.  _(Really, Matsuoka?  Are you sure you’re nineteen?)_

Haru’s video _definitely_ required some kind of revenge.

With a grin, Rin swung his bag over his shoulder and grabbed his dishes to take to the kitchen.  Winnie heard him coming, bounding across the den with her tiny black tail whipping back and forth in a furious blur as he came down the stairs.

“Hey, girl.”  Rin gave the dog a scratch behind the ears, smiling as she whined and licked his hand.

At the sound of his voice, Lori poked her head out of the kitchen, blond hair pulled back into a ponytail, her green sweater matching her eyes.  “Heading out, Rin?” she asked in English. 

“Yes.”  Rin joined her in the kitchen, slipping past to load his dishes into the dishwasher.  “The weather forecast looks good today, though it might get a bit windy.”

“We’ll see you tonight,” she said, her smile warm. “Dinner’s at six-thirty, but we’ll save some for you if you have to stay late.  Be careful out there.”  Lori patted his arm, squeezing briefly.

“I will.”  It was a promise he made daily—hourly even—for his homestay parents as well as his family back in Japan…and especially for Haru.  Rin grabbed his lunch box from the counter, leaving with a wave.  “‘Bye, Lori!”

“Have a good day!”

-x-

The small search and rescue helicopter base was at Cape Banks, less than a ten-minute drive away, the hangar surrounded by rolling green hills and the drop of sharp cliffs.  Beyond, the endless turquoise Pacific filled the horizon.  After stashing his gear in the crew locker room, Rin headed to Operations to tie in with the out-going overnight crew amidst the ever-present background hum of radio traffic.  Then, he was in the hangar, preflighting the yellow and fire-red _EC225_ _Super Puma_ rescue helicopter, supervised by his pilot-in-command, Captain Jason Kelly.

On a typical day, once all the equipment checks were complete, he’d shadow the rescue crew—absorbing and learning as much as he could about winching operations and diving.  –Because just making it into the Coast Guard, just being a pilot, wasn’t the end goal.  The _Tokushu Kyuunan Tai—_ Special Rescue Team—was the _elite_ search and rescue unit of the JCG, Haneda-based (i.e. in Tokyo, i.e. near Haru), and only the very best got recruited.  Once he graduated from the Academy, Rin would be eligible for the regional meets held annually to compete for a spot.

It was a long-term dream; this internship was part of his prep, his training.  …Even if it meant distance now, and a sacrifice of precious time in order to grasp the future he was striving for.  It didn’t make things easy, but they were trying, damn it—reaching for their dreams, fighting _together_ , even in different places.  Rin had a heart full of certainty, full of hope.  _We’ll make it._

He was in the Ops Room when the call came—offshore med-evac.  Every member of the six-person rescue team grabbed gear and headed for their stations.  Rin zipped up his flight suit, donned his helmet, headset, and a pair of aviator shades Haru had gifted to him upon his graduation from flight school.  (There was a tiny loosejaw-kun on the right earpiece.  Haru claimed he bought them off the internet, but Rin suspected he’d painted the character himself with a hell of a lot of magnification and a needle-fine brush.)

Four minutes from the initial alarm, _Rescue 6205_ had a VFR flight clearance and a clean engine start.  With rotor blades slicing the air rhythmically overhead, Captain Kelly—on Rin’s left—gave their ground crew a thumbs-up through the front window. 

 _“Good to go,”_ Kelly said, his voice crisp in Rin’s headset _.  “You guys are cleared off.”_  

 _“Godspeed, mate.”_   Ground gave a matching thumbs-up, disconnecting his headset from the aircraft and departing to the left.

_“Ground is…clear.  Clear left.”_

Rin glanced out his right-hand window.  “Clear right.”

_“Cabin?”_

_“Cabin’s secure, Sir,”_ their crewman answered from the back.

Captain Kelly gave him a sharp nod.  _“Take us up, Rin.”_

“You got it.”  Rin worked the cyclic stick between his knees and the collective lever at his left thigh, easing them smoothly off the ground.  Once he had enough altitude, he banked them left over the cape, pointing their nose toward the sea as their Captain contacted Air Traffic Control.

_“Center, Rescue six-two-oh-five is airborne, VFR to the northeast, heading zero-five-five, two thousand feet.”_

_“Rescue six-two-zero-five, cleared as requested.  Maintain VFR.  Good flight.”_

_“Roger, Six-two-oh-five.”_

They picked up speed, flashing out over the water, waves breaking on the rocks below in surges of white, foaming spray.  As much as for the actual mission, Rin lived for this moment, when the ocean was a rich, deep blue—like Haru’s eyes—meeting a pale white-aqua at the horizon. 

Because Haru was on the other side.

_“Alright, guys.  This is what we’ve got—”_

There was a familiar punch of adrenaline as Captain Kelly briefed them, Rin tilting the cyclic a tick more forward as they raced towards their target.

* * *

Hiroshima, August of 2010

* * *

“Rin!”  “Onii-chan!!” 

He’d just hauled his suitcase off the baggage carousel when they found him.  Rin had a half-second to brace, but he was still driven back two steps as the Matsuoka women tackled him, ruby hair catching him in the face.  “Mom.  Gou.”  He laughed, getting an arm around each of them.

“You’ve grown so much since I last saw you!”  Miyako freed one hand to pat his cheek. 

“It was only eight months…”

“And your hair—”

Rin grunted and pulled away, shoving the navy blue JCG cap firmly into place on his head.  He flushed hot under their scrutiny.  “It’ll grow back.”  He’d worn it short-ish (just long enough to still tuck behind his ears) since the start of flight school per JCG regs, but cut it even more for his internship.  It was fine as long as he always had a cap or helmet on his head (he’d made sure all the pictures he’d sent back to Haru had one or the other).  …Not that hats or helmets would be much help this week, but he wasn’t willing to delay _finally_ being in the same place at the same time as Haru, even if he was embarrassed about the way his ears looked with short hair.

Gou giggled.  “It’s really not that noticeable.  Not compared to your triceps.” 

“ _Off_.”  Rin wiggled his arm until she let go.  “When’s your flight, Gou?”

“Umm…”  She glanced off towards the electronic boards.  

Rin checked his jealousy for the thousandth time.  Gou would be in Tottori today (Monday), joining their friends—and Haru—before they all headed down the coast to Yonago tomorrow, where Haru would be swimming the Nakaumi 5k this Saturday.  Rin and Sousuke were flying direct to Yonago Tuesday—so they were all arriving there the same day and _twenty-four hours_ shouldn’t have bothered him.

 _But_.  Add Rin’s eight months to the five months Haru had been globetrotting with Team Japan to flight schools and training camps and everything else that hadn’t synced up…  The last time they hadn’t needed a computer screen or phone to communicate had been the Japan Swim in April 2009, right after high school graduation, when Haru made the national team in the first place.  Rin felt _every single one_ of those sixteen fucking months, so a measure of anticipation and envy on his part was warranted.  Damn it.

“Oh.”  Gou squeezed him tight around the waist.  “I’ll say hi to him, but I’ll leave the hugs and kisses for you, Onii-chan.”

Rin sighed, slinging his arm across his sister’s shoulders.  “Let’s get you upstairs, Gou.”

-x-

After seeing Gou off, Rin’s mom drove him down to the Academy in Wakabacho, south and east of Hiroshima, the tree-wrapped campus right on the water with training ship _Kojima PL-21_ docked on the northwest corner.  She dropped him off at the main gate.

“See you for dinner tonight.  The apartment’s still messy from the move, but…”

“It’s fine, Mom.”  Rin leaned through the open car window to kiss her cheek.  “See you then.”

Miyako smiled, a happy blush on her face as she waved at him and started the car.

Rin waved back until she was out of sight, then scooped up his bags to head through the gate and onto campus.

It was fairly quiet with most classes not in session—they’d start up again in a few weeks and Rin had a mega course load planned for the fall, given his long absence.  But as aircrew, he’d gotten permission to remain in residence until fall classes started—both him and his roommate.

Sousuke answered when he knocked on the door of their third-floor dorm room, smiling with a quick perusal of green eyes.  “Looking good, Rin.  You bulked up a bit?”  Sousuke wore a white JCG T-shirt and navy-blue shorts, a towel draped around his neck like he’d just gotten back from the showers. 

Rin snorted.  “I hope.”

Sousuke stood aside to let him into the room, the furnishings consisting of bunkbeds, two desks with bookshelves, one window, one closet.  All of Rin’s boxes from storage had already arrived…and Sousuke’s stuff was laid out on the bottom bunk.

“Claimed it already, huh?”  Rin dropped his bags by the empty desk as Sousuke shut the door.

“Yeah, three weeks ago.”  Sousuke leaned against the corner of the bunks with an easy smile.  “Wanna rock-paper-scissors for it?”

“Nah, it’s yours.”  Rin gave his best friend a playful jab in the arm.  “Do I get a hug or what?”

“Hmph.”  Sousuke’s eyes were warm as he enfolded Rin into a bear hug.  “Welcome back, Rin.”

-x-

After eight months, Rin’s navy-blue cadet uniform felt good—maybe not as good missing the aircrewman patch—but he still had wings on his chest and his name on the pocket, with white epaulets on the shoulders and one white stripe down the center front of the shirt.  Stepping off the shuttle at the Hiroshima Coast Guard Regional Headquarters—about three kilometers from the Academy, south of Kure Station—Rin donned his aviators and strode into the white, three-story building.  He saluted the guards on duty, presenting his credentials for clearance before proceeding to the stairs.   

The second floor was mostly offices and conference rooms, Rin standing aside and saluting the Coast Guard officers who passed him on his way.  He stopped outside a door with a brass nameplate that read 松岡 and rapped his knuckles gently against the wood.

“Come in.”

Rin took off his Coast Guard cap and opened the door.  Three steps into the office, he came to attention and saluted.  “Matsuoka Rin, reporting home, Officer Dad.”

Rin’s dad quirked a brow, looking up from the stack of papers he was working on.  “That’s ‘ _Sir_ , Officer Dad’ to you, Cadet.”

Rin grinned.

His father returned the salute in a matching JCG uniform, other than the gold bars on his shoulders, sleeves, and above his left chest pocket.  “At ease, Son.” 

As Rin dropped his hand, Toraichi got up, moving around his desk—

Rin met him there, hugging his dad tight like he had ever since he was a kid—like he might never decide to let go, feeling strong arms engulf him and squeeze him back.  “Tadaima.”

“Okaeri, Rin.”  They were eye-to-eye, Rin even a smidge taller.  It didn’t stop his dad from reaching up to muss his hair like he was still five.  “No lying—did you cry when they cut it?”

Rin grunted and didn’t answer.

Toraichi laughed, draping an arm around his shoulders.  “I’m sure Haruka won’t mind.  So…are you gonna fill in your old man over dinner?  I want to hear everything.”

“Heck yeah!”

“ _Language_ , Cadet.”

Rin didn’t stop grinning.

* * *

_Hamamatsu, April of 2009_

* * *

_Rin walked beside Haru with his hands shoved into his pockets, trying not to bump shoulders with swimmers running past them in the corridor.  In the distance, the announcer was introducing the swimmers for the B-final of the women’s 100m butterfly.  “Sorry I can’t stay.”_

_“It’s OK.”  Haru snagged his wrist, drawing him gently to the side, toward an alcove behind displays of Team Japan swimsuits and uniforms from former days.  “Thanks for coming.”_

_“Like I would’ve missed it,” he murmured, following easily…sliding his arms around Haru’s shoulders as soon as they were out of sight, tucked beyond the corner against a wall of dark wood.  Rin pressed his face into damp hair, inhaling the scent of chlorine and Haru like his life depended on it, as if he could memorize with his breath the way his lips would remember kisses given and received in these stolen moments of time.  “Congrats, Haru.”_

_Haru’s exhale stirred his hair, palms warm beneath Rin’s jacket, through the thin fabric of his T-shirt, gliding across tense muscles.  “You’re jealous, Rin?”_

_“I’m happy for you,” Rin said—and meant it, pulling back far enough to meet Haru’s gaze, letting blue eyes search his face for the truth of his words._

_Haru’s brow knit and fell, his expression sober as he leaned their foreheads together, fingers digging lightly into Rin’s back.  “Kiss me goodbye,” he whispered._

_There was a thud as shoulders hit the wall, the kiss harder than Rin intended, lips trapped against teeth, the collar of Haru’s warmup jacket gripped in his hand.  Maybe there was more going on in his heart than his head realized—more than he could attribute to another goodbye, another series of months, another separation._

_Rin didn’t have it all sorted as he drew back, but that didn’t seem to matter—not as Haru’s hand closed around the back of his neck, fingertips scraping against his scalp—pulling him in for another kiss before Rin even had a chance to breathe.  The glimpse he caught of Haru’s eyes burned behind Rin’s eyelids—searing blue, like seawater._

* * *

Hiroshima, August of 2010

* * *

Makoto had taken the picture—last year at the championships.  Rin’s arm was draped around Haru’s shoulders; Haru was in his warmups with his hair still damp, holding his 100m free silver medal towards the camera.  In the photo, Rin was grinning like an idiot, his eyes almost closed and unmistakably moist.  Haru’s smile was a precious rarity—a sight Rin treasured.  The picture was his phone wallpaper, safely tucked behind the lock screen photo of his father’s Coast Guard ship.

Haru’s text was at the bottom of the screen.  _[Call me tonight?  Late’s OK.]_

Rin perched on the windowsill in the empty common area, down the hall from his dorm room.  He’d left the lights off, preferring the summer’s moonlight as he thumbed over to his contacts and lifted the phone to his ear.

It only rang twice.  Then he was listening to Haru’s breath like a sigh, followed by his voice, full of warmth.  “ _Rin._ ”

Sweetness joined the ache in Rin’s heart as he leaned back against the glass and smiled, his fingers curling atop the windowsill beside him—squeezing air in place of Haru’s hand.  “Haru—”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is nsfw/adult content in this chapter, though I would characterize it as mild.
> 
> If anyone would like a true teen version, please let me know (via comment/tumblr/discord/etc), as I don't mind making that available if there's interest.

* * *

_Hiroshima, September of 2009_

* * *

_The moment the phone rang, Rin knew why Haru was calling.  For a split-second, he was surprised (you so rarely call) …but then the reason settled on him, heavy.  He sat back in his chair, leaning away from the desk as the phone vibrated atop a stack of textbooks, katakana characters in the center of the screen._

[ハル]

_The sigh fell from his lips before he could stop it._

_“Rin?”  Sousuke looked up from his laptop, one desk over._

_“Back in a sec.”  Rin got up, stuffing keys into his pocket as he left the room.  He answered the call en route to the common area.  “Hey.”_

_“—Rin.”  Haru’s voice was weighted, tight._

_“It must be the middle of the night there,” he said, despite the sinking feeling in his stomach._

_“I—”  Haru exhaled hard._

_Rin sat on the arm of the couch, looking out at bright sunshine, wispy cirrus clouds, and green trees.  “You got your itinerary, huh?”_

_There was a soundless pause, a few heartbeats’ worth, before Haru said the words Rin already knew.  “I’m not gonna be back in time.”_

_Rin closed his eyes, letting the ache wash through him, plans unraveling piece-by-piece.  “We knew this was a possibility, Haru.  It’s why we didn’t make the reservations yet.”_

_“But—”_

_(I know.  I wanted it too.  I hoped it would work out, even if the likelihood was practically nonexistent.)_

_Haru drew a breath.  “What about earlier?  November?”_

_Rin kept his voice light and easy—no point making this harder than it needed to be.  “We talked through that, remember?  We both have class.  You’ve been gone almost the entire semester.”_

_(We knew things like this could happen.  It’s why we promised to support each other’s dreams.  No matter what.)_

_“It’s OK, Haru.”  He was saying the words for himself just as much.  “We’ll figure something out.  It’s not like I’ll be in Australia forever.”_

_There was another pause, longer than the first, before Haru spoke in a whisper.  “I wanted to see you.”_

_The heat lodged in Rin’s throat, burning in his eyes as all the emotion he was holding back—holding down—threatened to break free.  “Me too.”_

_The pain was raw and real; he could feel every meter of the distance between them, the expansion of time, the accumulating uncertainty…  But what was the alternative?  Not trying?  Giving up?  Not being something?_

_Like that was even worth entertaining._

_Haru’s breath wavered.  “Rin, I love you.”_

_“I love you too.”  Rin tightened his grip on the phone.  (So fucking much.)_

-x-

_He took a moment to gather himself before returning to his room…and his roommate.  At the door with their names on it, Rin fiddled with his keys, the phone in his pocket._

_Sousuke opened the door before he could unlock it, looking at him, searching his face soberly.  “You OK?”_

_“Yeah,” Rin said, so his best friend would know he didn’t want to talk about it._

_After another beat, Sousuke wordlessly stood aside, letting him in._

_Rin stripped off his shirt, emptying his pockets onto his desk.  “I’m gonna go for a run, hit the pool…  I’ll catch up with you later for dinner.”_

_“Sure, Rin.”_

_He changed and collected his gear, swinging the pack onto his back and tying the laces of his running shoes.  Passing his desk on the way out, Rin stopped.  The pamphlet was taped to the calendar—the glossy photo of an onsen nestled between snow-dusted trees…and Rin’s handwriting on a blue sticky note, dates and options and the nightly rate for a room for two._

_He peeled off the tape, not letting himself think that it was supposed to be their first vacation by themselves, as adults, as a couple…  Thoughts like those might be kind of suffocating, huh?  If he let them.  Rin dropped the pamphlet in the recycling bin on his way out.  As he headed for the stairs, breathing already felt easier._

* * *

Monday, August 2nd, 2010

* * *

_“How were your flights?”_

“Really?”  Rin arched a brow, instantly amused.  “Less than a day until we see each other again and _that’s_ what you want to talk about?”

Haru made a quiet sound of irritation.  _“I’m trying to make polite conversation.  Everyone says I’m bad at it.”_

 _Everyone’s right._   “We can practice if you want, Haru.  But not right now.”  Rin’s giddiness was rising.  _Can’t you tell?_

 _“Fine.”_   It sounded like Haru was smiling—with his eyes at least.  _“It’s good to hear your voice, Rin.”_

Just like that, he was a puddle on the windowsill.  “You too,” Rin whispered.  He slipped from the window and flopped down on the couch, gazing up at streaks of moonlight on the ceiling as he picked up familiar voices in the background.  “My sister’s there?”

 _“Everyone’s here.”_   A door closed on Haru’s side, muffling the chatter. _“They wanted to sleep over before we leave in the morning.  The twins are here too.  It’s loud.”_

Rin smiled.  “But it’s good to see everyone, right?”

_“Yeah.  Tomorrow will be better though.”_

Rin chewed his lower lip to keep from grinning too hard.

_“What time do you get in?”_

“Our slot at Miho Airport is 1:15 PM.  Then we’ve got post-flight…grab the rental car…swing by the hotel to drop off luggage…”  He’d mapped it all out previously, doing the time math in his head.  “Probably out to the water by 2:30?  2:45?”

_“OK.”_

_Understatement of the century, Haru._   Rin chuckled inwardly.

 _“…Rin.”_   Haru’s voice was soft, borderline hesitant.  _“Want to…stay together, this time?”_

Rin’s mirth fled in a heartbeat.  He sat up, his mouth going dry, his mind a sudden jumble of thoughts, desires, fantasies, nerves...  They hadn’t ever.  Twice before, they’d tried to make plans.  Rin’s schedule got in the way the first time, Haru’s the second.  He hadn’t dared to hope that _this_ time, this trip, _finally_ …

_“We won’t do anything unless we both want to.  I just…want some time that’s ours.  If it’s OK with you.”_

Rin’s heart was pounding.  He managed to clear his throat, his voice coming out quiet.  “It’s OK with me.”

 _“…You’re sure, Rin?”_   Haru sighed on the other end of the phone.  _“I’m not trying to pressure you or something.”_

“I want to,” Rin whispered.  _I want everything._   “Haru, just…”  He exhaled, wiping a suddenly sweaty palm against his pantleg.  “…tell me one thing.  Don’t be mad at me for asking.”  His face heated as he forced the words out.  “Because I know you would’ve told me.  If something ever…happened.  In the Athletes’ Village or whatever.”

_“There’s never been anything like that, Rin.”_

Haru’s immediate reply flooded Rin with relief (it was a stupid thing to wonder, but sixteen months _was_ a long time…and he’d heard too many stories…).  He sank down to the couch, relaxing against the cushions.

 _“The Village_ was _crazy.  Everything you’ve heard is probably true.  But it was always just me, by myself, thinking about you.”_

Rin choked on air, a thousand thoughts launching in his head off _that_ little detail.

_“What about you?”_

His face burned, Rin clutching the phone and brushing hair back from his forehead, thinking of all those times with blue behind his eyelids, imagining the way Haru would sound, whispering his name…  “Only you, Haru.”  His voice came out hoarse.  “Always, only you.”

-x-

Sousuke was reclining on the bottom bunk with a magazine when Rin got back.  “What’s that face?  You’re redder than your hair.”

Rin didn’t bother to deny it.  “Look, uh…  In Yonago…”  He rubbed the back of his neck, looking anywhere but his best friend’s face.  “Do you mind rooming with Makoto?”

“Hmph.”  Sousuke’s smile was evident in his voice.  “About damn time.”

* * *

Tuesday, August 3rd, 2010

* * *

“Want the variety pack, Rin?”

“No, I don’t want the variety pack!”  Rin kept his voice to a whisper, resolutely ignoring the box Sousuke offered him as he scanned the products on the shelf, blushing all the way to his ears.  “I just want normal ones.”  Why did there have to be so many damn options?  Material, size, texture, pattern…  (wtf, pattern?!)

Sousuke chuckled, tapping a gray and white box with red text.  “This one’s a good choice.”

“Could’ve fucking said so in the first place,” Rin muttered, picking the package off the shelf and skimming the specs on the back.  _Sounds OK…_

“You’ll want one of these, too.”  Sousuke gestured to a lower shelf.  “There’s different flavors and scents, even.  Like…banana?”

“Oh, _God_ no.”  Rin clutched the pack of condoms, his face on fire.  Biting his lower lip, he glanced around, making sure they were still alone in the cramped drug store aisle.  No one was too close by, though that barely alleviated his stress.  “Is there, uh… pineapple?”

Sousuke rolled his eyes, passing him a yellow box with fruit on the front.

-x-

It was hot on the tarmac—a good 32°C—as Rin did his exterior walk around the white and blue _Gulfstream V_ on the Hiroshima ramp, ensuring all the various probes were uncovered and clear, the engine inlets and flap tracks were free of foreign object debris, the tires had only normal wear, the brakes were within tolerance…  Sousuke always got the choice flight assignments—all the crew schedulers loved him (really, with that smile, who wouldn’t?)—and he’d been able to pull strings to get Rin on as first officer.  Rin maintained his currency while in Australia, but he’d probably need a few flights plus a check ride before they’d give him PIC duties again.

Inspection complete, he headed up into the air-conditioned jet.  The cabin attendant was getting their passengers situated—fifteen Coast Guard officers and staff members heading to the Sakai Office, just north of Miho Airport.  Rin ducked into the cockpit, taking the seat to Sousuke’s right.  They both wore their aircrew uniforms for the flight—crisp, button-down white shirts (short-sleeves for summer) with stripes on their shoulders, black ties, and black slacks. 

Sousuke was reviewing the preflight paperwork.  “I got ATIS Delta while you were poking around down there.  Runway one-zero’s active.  Winds are one-six-zero at six, altimeters two-nine-seven-three.”

“Don’t let me do any of the work, sheesh.”  Rin snorted as he dropped into his chair and strapped in, reaching for the controls to adjust the altimeter on his display.

Sousuke tossed him a smile.  “You can get our clearance.”

“On it.”  Rin grinned, settling his headset over his ears and dialing up Ground Control frequency.  He keyed the mic with one hand, grabbing paper and a pen in the other.  “Ground, Coast Guard eight-oh-three, looking for clearance to Miho Airport," he said in English.  "We have Delta.” 

_“Coast Guard eight-zero-three, I have your clearance.  Advise ready to copy.”_

Rin braced his paper on the sidewall, beside the window.  “Eight-oh-three, ready to copy.”  Clicking his pen, he prepared to scribble like hell—

_“Coast Guard eight-zero-three, you are cleared to the Miho Airport via the Hongo three-five-eight radial to AKANA-KYOKA-OROTI, as filed.  On departure, climb and maintain two thousand.  Expect one-one-thousand three minutes after departure.  Departure frequency one-one-niner-point-niner-zero.  Squawk four-seven-five-two.”_

“Coast Guard eight-oh-three is cleared to Miho, via…”  Rin rattled off the entire list of instructions while Sousuke programmed their squawk code into the transponder.

_“Coast Guard eight-zero-three, readback correct.  Advise ready for taxi.”_

“Eight-oh-three, wilco.”  Rin clicked the mic off, going through his first officer flows, checking the overhead controls and circuit breaker panels for any abnormalities, fault lights, or tripped breakers.

The cabin attendant poked her head into the cockpit.  “All personnel are onboard, Captain.  Ready to close doors?”

“Yes, Araya.  Thanks.”  Sousuke nodded to her.

Araya smiled, disappearing back into the cabin.

“How about a Before Start checklist, Rin?”

“Sure thing.”  They settled into their routines, the back and forth challenge-and-response, like no time had passed at all.  It felt damn good, sharing a flight deck with his best friend again. 

-x-

The flight itself was short—a thirty-minute hop.  They barely reached cruise altitude before starting their descent, their route cutting across Lake Nakaumi and overflying Miho Airport at 3,000 FT before they looped around in a descending right turn towards the strip of land between the lake and Miho Bay.  The water was brilliant turquoise, rippling under steady, 12-knot winds.  Rin had the landing, bringing the plane to a smooth, manual touchdown on runway 25, the speed brakes firing automatically as he popped the thrust reversers and gently braked them down to taxi speeds.  He was 100% focused on the task at hand…with his head, anyways.  His heart was starting to thud already, his palms a little clammier than they should’ve been as he worked the controls. 

_“Did you pack a swimsuit?”_

_“Of course I packed a swimsuit.”  He’d packed two, in fact._

_Sousuke nodded at his gear bag.  “Your techsuit, I mean.”_

_Rin pressed his lips.  “Why?  I’m not competing.”_

_“With Haru, you’re always racing, aren’t you?”_

_Racing, sure.  Competing, though?  No.  Two different things.  He hadn’t competed since high school—Nationals that summer had been the last time, two whole years ago.  Rin didn’t let himself think about it; didn’t let himself miss it.  Being away, being busy, had been good for that at least—not giving him time to remember the roaring crowds, the way it felt to swim with Haru in the next lane, snagging the top two steps of the podium, or to wonder—if he and Haru had been swimming together in Rome—if Japan would’ve done better than 4 th place in the 4-by-200 free._

_Rin exhaled, placing the last items in his bag.  “I’m not competing again until we graduate.”_

_“The SRT comps?”_

_“Yeah.”_

_Sousuke was quiet for a beat, then he snagged the strap of Rin’s gear bag, dragging it over.  “Take your suit, Rin.”_

_“I’m not gonna change my mind—”_

_“Just humor me.”_

The roar of air lessened as Rin stowed the thrust reversers, Miho Tower contacting them on frequency.

_“Coast Guard eight-zero-three, turn right onto Taxiway Alpha-four and contact Ground.  Good day.”_

“Right turn on Alpha-four, switching to Ground.  Eight-oh-three,” Sousuke said, manning the radio while Rin retracted the speed brakes and guided them off the runway.  “Nice landing, Rin.”

“Thanks.”

“Ready to switch back?”

“Sure.”  Rin got them through the 180° turn and situated on Taxiway Alpha.  “Your airplane.”

“My airplane.”  Sousuke took the controls.

Rin flipped channels on the radio.  “Ground, Coast Guard eight-oh-three is with you on Alpha, taxi to parking.”

_“Coast Guard eight-zero-three, Ground.  Continue on Alpha.  Bravo-two is clear; crew is standing by for you on the Coast Guard ramp.  Welcome to Miho.”_

He smiled, keying the mic.  “Thanks, Eight-oh-three.”

-x-

Yonago was just as hot as it had been in Hiroshima, Rin and Sousuke changing out of their uniforms and into T-shirts and shorts (pants for Rin) in the Coast Guard station aircrew lounge.  Then they were officially off duty and off the clock for the rest of the week, carting their bags to the rental car facility on the opposite side of the passenger terminal.  It was pleasantly breezy, the sun blinding off the sea at the horizon, even through Rin’s aviator shades. 

He donned his JCG cap as they climbed into the car. 

“What are you, advertising?” Sousuke asked, slipping the keys into the ignition and starting the car.

“Shut up,” Rin muttered, rolling down his window to let in the warm, sea salt air.

It was twenty minutes along Miho Bay to their hotel to drop off luggage, then another twenty minutes across town to Minatoyama Park, on the east edge of Lake Nakaumi.

…It was a good thing Sousuke was driving.  Rin’s phone buzzed with text messages from Nagisa every ten seconds.  He’d given up answering them all, fidgeting in his seat, heart pounding as Sousuke skirted the Tottori University campus to get to the parking lot just off the lake’s shore.  _Sure, you can handle an airplane and eighteen lives, including your own, but now you’re flipping out, Matsuoka?_

If Sousuke noticed, at least he didn’t comment.

They pulled into an empty spot and got out, Rin drawing a full breath—

“Rin-chan!!  Sou-chan!!”  Nagisa waved from the edge of the lot, arm at full extension, alongside Makoto, Rei, Gou, and Gou’s Iwatobi friend, Chigusa.

 _You guys._   Rin chuckled despite his nerves, closing the car door and heading over with Sousuke.

“Oh, Rin-Rin looks so cool.  Like a real Coast Guard cadet.”

Rin snorted.  “I am a real Coast Guard cadet.  Hey Nagisa, Makoto, Rei—”

Nagisa barreled into him, squeezing the air from his lungs.  “It’s been so long!  We’re all old now.”

“Speaking of,” Rin nudged Nagisa in the arm.  “Happy Birthday.  Two days late, I guess.”

“You remembered!”

He smiled as Nagisa beamed at him.  _I wouldn’t forget._

“Rin, how was Australia?” Makoto asked.

He would’ve answered, but Nagisa was already dragging him towards the lake. 

“Questions like that are for later, Mako-chan.  I _promised_ Haru-chan.”

The butterflies flooded back into Rin’s stomach as Nagisa caught his hand and pulled.  The race buoys were bobbing in the water; he could see swimmers out there practicing, attended by safety boats loitering at key locations around the course.  On shore—a paved strip with shallow steps leading down to the rocky shore (a platform had been set up, jutting into the water for access), there was a long row of white pavilions—some still being put up.  It was hardly crowded—swimmers and coaching staff mostly, along with event personnel attending to various preparations. 

Rin didn’t see Haru among those on shore.  The only person who stood out to him was an orange-haired kid in a white T-shirt and neon-yellow shorts, hopping around just behind the rocks.

“Nii-chan!!” 

The kid looked familiar…from meets in high school, maybe?

Nagisa dragged him right up to the edge of the starting platform, not letting go of his hand.  “Haru-chan!!  Rin-chan’s here!!” 

Rin’s face heated.  “Like he’s gonna hear you out there,” he muttered.  But he took off his sunglasses and searched the swimmers, looking for a familiar swim cap, a familiar stroke…

It was then he noticed a bright blue cap, the swimmer altering course to skip the final buoy, heading for the platform instead.  Long arms dipped smoothly into the water, cutting a path through, making it all look effortless—

Rin’s breath caught, a hard lump forming in his throat as he tracked the swimmer inbound, each second of time longer, each heartbeat louder than the last—

He was leaning forward, toes curling in his shoes, still not breathing as Haru climbed out of the water in a blue square leg practice suit and raked off his cap and goggles, shaking the water from his glossy black hair.

Their eyes met and Rin’s breath hitched, warmth welling up inside him.  _Oh God._   He didn’t realize he was squeezing Nagisa’s hand like his life depended on it until his friend laughed and gave him a shove forward.

Then Haru was _right there_ and Rin had his arms around wet shoulders, hugging so tightly Haru probably couldn’t breathe.

“Rin.”  Haru’s voice was at his ear, no phone or screen between them, his damp hand gingerly touching Rin’s hip.  “I was trying not to get lake water on you.”

“I don’t care,” he whispered.

He heard the smile in Haru’s exhale.  “OK.”  Arms wrapped around his waist…

They didn’t stay like that long, not in a public park.  Drawing apart, they moved out of the direct flow of traffic, still standing close together.  It was hard not to notice that Haru was wearing next to nothing (more than a speedo, but not by much).  Rin tried not to stare, noting how a year-plus of training at the national level had filled in muscle in all the right places on Haru’s already fit, lithe frame.

Haru’s gaze roamed him in return, landing on the navy blue JCG cap.  Amusement sparkled in his eyes.  “Can I, Rin?” he asked, reaching for the brim of the cap.

Rin drew a breath, letting it out slowly as his cheeks heated.  “Yeah.”  He braced himself, tempted to close his eyes as Haru took the hat off his head, though he found it impossible to look away from Haru’s face.

Haru’s expression only warmed as he drew the cap away, lifting a hand to sift through Rin’s hair, testing the length of the strands between his fingers…fingertips scraping lightly against Rin’s scalp, down to the base of his spine—

The shiver was pure pleasure, Rin’s mind blanking for a second.  What little air he had escaped unevenly between his lips. 

When Haru’s gaze flicked to his mouth, it was all— _all_ —Rin could do to stay still and _not_ tackle Haru right then and there.  _Fuck.  Can it be night yet?_   His face caught fire at the thought, hands curling at his sides.  He’d been such an idiot a month ago, when they’d made the initial arrangements, to think he could get through _hours_ without time to themselves, let alone a _week_.

Haru finally relented, placing the JCG cap back on his head, as if sensing how close to the edge of self-control he really was.

Judging by Haru’s hard exhale, though, and the pink blush that appeared atop his cheekbones…maybe the feeling was mutual.

It was then that Rin finally glanced around, trying to assess the damage (i.e. audience) …and found his sister with her camera out.  “Gou!”

She yelped, immediately hiding the pearl pink camera behind her back.  “I wasn’t!  I mean, I was thinking about it, but then it seemed kinda private, so I didn’t.”

Rin sighed, settling his cap firmly into place and putting his shades back on.  Haru was on the National Team and he was in the Coast Guard.  They really didn’t need the drama of winding up on the Internet.  Gou wouldn’t, of course, it was all the random bystanders he didn’t trust.

He slipped an arm around Haru’s shoulders as they headed over to join their friends.  “How’s the water?”

“Better now,” Haru said.

-x-

They all hung out in a grassy area of the park for a little bit, not far from the lake’s shore.  That was, until Haru sidled up to him while the others were engrossed in Gou and Nagisa chatting about how best to add protein powder to normal recipes (ugh).

“You’ve got goggles in your pocket, Rin?” Haru whispered, laying a hand lightly on his thigh.

Rin managed to keep his wits about him (barely), clearing his throat before he responded.  “Maybe.”

Haru smiled with his eyes, taking his arm and getting up.  “Come on.  Your clothes’ll dry faster if you’re not in them.”

The blush in his face was going to be permanent, damnit.  He couldn’t fault Haru’s logic though.  Rin stripped down to a pair of red and black jammers, grabbing his goggles from his pants pocket and following Haru towards the water, their friends’ voices fading in their wake.

“Did they just ditch us?” Makoto asked.

“They totally ditched us,” Nagisa said.

The starting platform was prickly beneath Rin’s bare feet as Haru pointed out the various buoys. 

“It’s one and a quarter per lap, out first and then clockwise, back to the start.”

“Easy enough.”  Rin stretched his arms overhead.

Haru eyed him askance.  “You’re not out of practice, right?”

Rin snorted.  “I do at least 10k a day, Haru.  Five without gear and five _with_.  Tell me which sounds harder.”

Haru settled his goggles over his eyes, stretching his blue swim cap over his hair.  “Show me, Rin.”  He walked up to the edge of the platform and set his feet.

Grinning, Rin pressed his goggles into place and snapped the strap.  “Call it.”

“Ready, _go_ —”

They’d both gotten faster, stronger—it was obvious to Rin as soon as they surfaced side-by-side, hands slicing into the lake water, each pull propelling them forward.  Still, his workouts hadn’t felt like this in years—not since high school.  There was something about the way they pushed each other, urged each other on, baiting and teasing and challenging one another to give more—

By the end of four laps (5k), Rin felt like he’d swam harder than he ever had _in his life_ —and that included 10k gear swims.  All he wanted to do was pass out on the grass and sleep for hours…that, and he was famished.  Haru looked no better as they hauled themselves up onto the starting platform, panting.

Their eyes met as they sat together on the edge, chests heaving, too out of breath to speak…but not too tired to smile or squeeze hands briefly.

A swimmer surfaced next to them and elbowed Haru in the calf.  “Haruka, you’re in the way.”

“Nn.”  Haru grunted, shifting to the side and into Rin.  “There’s a whole platform, Takara.”

“Yeah, with you two passed out right in the middle.  Look at how much space you’re taking up.”  She vaulted herself up onto the platform in a one-piece practice suit—black with slashes of lavender—and peeled off her goggles and cap, long lengths of wet black hair falling free.

Rin had seen her on TV and the internet with Team Japan plenty of times.  Usually, to his annoyance (and Haru’s), hanging off Haru’s arm in some fashion or another. 

Haru was leaning against Rin’s side and seemed disinclined to move.  “Rin, Sakamoto Takara,” he said by way of introduction.  “Takara, this is Matsuoka Rin.”

“Oh, it’s obvious who this is,” she said.  “Haruka talks about you _constantly_.”  She flicked green eyes skyward.

Rin arched a brow at that. 

Haru pressed his lips and said nothing, though the blush in his cheeks gave him away.

Rin soaked it up, grinning.  _Busted, Babe._  

“I’m not faulting his taste, but you’re a little skinny,” Takara said.

 _Really?_  Rin raked a hand through his wet hair, unabashedly flexing.  “I could bench press you, Sakamoto.  Doubt I’d even break a sweat.”

“Rin…”

“Oh, it’s _on_ , honey.”  Takara’s gaze flicked over him, hand propped on her hip.  “What are you, 65…70 kilos?  Because I could bench press _you_ , sweetie.”

“Well.”  Rin got to his feet, rolling his shoulders and stretching his arms behind him.  “Guess we’d better find a gym, huh?  There’s gotta be one nearby.”

Haru sighed.

Rin’s glaring contest with Takara was broken when Haru got between them, thumb lightly prodding Rin’s hip bone.

“Don’t get too tired, Rin,” he whispered, his gaze trailing from Rin’s lips to his eyes.

Rin nearly choked on his own saliva, struck dumb and breathless, barely blinking as a thousand _better_ uses of energy came to mind.

Takara chuckled.  “Guess I’ll be taking a raincheck.”

Another swimmer joined her, speedo-clad, goggles draped around his neck.  “On what, Takara-kun?”

“Nothing, Seijuurou.”  She smirked.  “Haruka’s got a hot date tonight.”

“Haha, Matsuoka, is it?”  The fiery-haired guy waved.  “We swam together a couple times—Nationals in high school.”

“A-ah…”  Rin was slow to recover, rubbing the back of his neck.  “I remember.  You’re pretty good.”

“Thanks!  You too!”  Seijuurou perched an arm on Takara’s shoulder.  “Good to head in, Takara-kun?  I wanna see if that muscle forum mod DM’ed me back.”

Takara sighed, giving an exaggerated eyeroll as the pair headed towards shore.  “Heaven forbid _training_ should come between you and _LuvsTriceps91_.”

 _Loves-Triceps-91?_   Rin tried to figure out why that sounded familiar, but he didn’t get very far, distracted by Haru’s damp hand covering his, pressing his fingers warmly before letting go.

“Early dinner, Rin?”

Rin’s lungs emptied in a rush.  “Definitely.” 

-x-

They all piled into various cars and headed back to the hotel / spa on Miho Bay.  The place was called _Ocean_ —one guess who found it—and consisted of a small business-oriented hotel adjacent to an expansive day spa, onsen, and restaurant.  The hotel itself was a small, two-story building of beige brick—not much to look at, but affordable for a week’s stay and onsen access was included, which was the obvious draw.

“Everyone can be back in ten for dinner, right?” Nagisa asked after they’d taken over the lobby for check-in and grabbed their bags.  “It’s OK with you, Haru-chan?”

Rin’s face heated as Nagisa winked at them.  _Oi._

“It’s fine,” Haru said.

They headed up the stairs to room 207, Haru unlocking the door.  The small room had a western-style bathroom with combination bath-shower immediately off to the left, one window with gauzy white curtains, a desk, TV, two chairs, and two twin beds with white linens and a nightstand in-between.

 …Not that Rin spent any length of time studying the furnishings or even got that far into the room.  He dropped his bag on patterned brown carpet, turning around as Haru closed the door—

Haru’s bag thudded to the floor in the entryway, their arms locked around each other, their lips meeting in firm, impatient kisses.  It felt _so_ good, gratifying and yet not _enough_.

“We were stupid to let it be this long,” Rin said, barely lifting his lips from Haru’s to mumble the words.  “I should’ve come back earlier; I should’ve canceled everything.”

“Like I would’ve let you.”  Haru pulled the cap off Rin’s head, throwing it onto a chair as he threaded his fingers into Rin’s hair.

Rin broke from Haru’s lips with a soft groan, catching his breath in the brief reprieve.

Haru was smiling at him, eyes blue like the Pacific Ocean.  “It’s OK.  We’re here _now_.”

“I fucking love now.”  They went back to kissing, their bodies pressed flush.

…Until Haru got hands between them, gently pushing him away.  “Do you want the first shower or the second?”

Rin sighed, leaning their foreheads together.  “You go first.  You won’t take the whole ten minutes, right?  I won’t have to come in and get you.”

Haru’s eyes shimmered.  “That’s for later, Rin.”  The next kiss was tender, lingering against his lips.  “I’ll be quick.”

Rin rubbed his face with a grunt as Haru grabbed stuff from his bag and disappeared into the bathroom, closing the door.  Not that he wasn’t looking forward to dinner with their friends, but it was going to be the _longest_ meal of his life.

Heading deeper into the room, Rin unzipped his bag and fished out a change of clothes, including underwear to trade for his jammers.  In passing, his fingers scraped an opaque plastic bag with the drugstore’s label.  His face burned as he took it out, the contents inside featherlight for all their significance. 

The nightstand between the beds didn’t have a drawer, though there was an open shelf underneath and a nightlight illuminating the carpet.  He chewed his lower lip as he debated.  On top in plain view, or hide it on the bottom?  _Ugh.  Fucking man-up, Matsuoka._   Rin put the bag on the nightstand next to the lamp (OK, sort of behind it) and he relocated the tissue box from the desk…  That done, he faceplanted onto the right-hand bed, nearest the window, and waited for the duvet to catch on fire from the heat in his cheeks.

As the shower started up in the bathroom, he was definitely, _absolutely_ not thinking about Haru being naked in there, or any of the suggestive comments they’d just made to each other.  Damn it.

Minutes later, Haru came out with shorts on (thank God), scrubbing his hair with a towel.  “Your turn, Rin.”

“Thanks,” he muttered, grabbing his clothes and toiletries and not even letting himself breathe in Haru’s direction as he headed for the bathroom.

Rin scrubbed down quickly, rinsing off the lake water and washing his hair.  After a brief once-over with the towel, he pulled on a clean T-shirt, underwear, and pants before heading out into the room.

Haru was perched on the left bed, closing a book (sketchbook?), and setting it and a pencil on the headboard that ran along the wall, behind both beds.  “Ready?” he asked, getting up.

It should really be illegal to look that good in a plain V-neck T-shirt.  Rin exhaled.  “Yeah.”

Haru came over and hugged him, strong arms looped around his waist, Rin’s head checking out with the simple pleasure of it. 

“Rin, I’m glad you came.”

Rin buried his face in Haru’s hair.  “Me too.”

-x-

“Rin-chan, Haru-chan, you made it!”  Nagisa looked astonished as they arrived in the lobby on time.

“You said ten minutes,” Rin muttered.

Nagisa’s smile turned sly.  “Well, I _guess_ cadets have to be good at time-management.”

Rin inhaled, ignoring the heat rising in his cheeks as he thrust his hands into his pockets.  “So, _dinner_?”

They collected their onsen tickets from the front desk and headed across the parking lot.  Beyond the front gate of the onsen, there were beautiful gardens with sculptures and water features.  Rin and Makoto shared a look as Haru’s gaze snapped to the nearest reflecting pool; thereafter Rin slid an arm around Haru’s shoulders while Makoto assumed a flanking position on Haru’s other side.

Haru exhaled through his nose.  “I wasn’t going to.”

Makoto smiled warmly.  “Of course not, Haru-chan.”

“We’re just…preparing,” Rin said, as they followed the others beneath a covered walkway, entering through sliding glass doors.

The lobby had pictures of all the various hot spring pools—indoor and outdoor, ground floor and the second floor with ocean views…  Haru stopped walking, his eyes going wide. 

Rin laughed.  “You’re the one who picked this place.”

Haru breathed out in a huff.  “Yeah.  This is why.”

“Come _on_ , you guys.  I’m hungry.”  Nagisa grabbed one of Rin’s hands—he had Rei’s already—dragging them towards the restaurant.

They got a table outside on the shaded deck, looking out over the sandy beach stretching down to the edge of the bay.  Rin noticed a couple familiar faces on the other side of the room—well, he _heard_ them before he saw them—Haru’s Team Japan teammates Seijuurou and Takara with two orange-haired individuals.  One was the kid Rin noticed at the park before—obviously Seijuurou’s little brother, now that he caught a glimpse of them together—and the girl was definitely related also, probably a sister.

“Haru.”  Rin nodded towards the group as they took their seats.  “They’re at the hotel with us?”

“Mn.”  Haru pursed his lips.  “We have to leave before Mikoshiba and Takara drink themselves under the table.”

There were a few empty beer glasses on the table already.  Rin arched a brow.  “Or…?”

Haru just shook his head.

Rin snorted with amusement as they got settled, Nagisa grabbing the menu off the table.

They managed to keep him from ordering everything on it, barely.  Dinner was as lively as it was in high school, whenever they had competitions together.  Everyone peppered Rin with questions about Australia—everything from his rescue missions to slang to Vegemite and if the toilets really flushed clockwise.  He didn’t stop talking for the entire meal, but the _best_ part was sitting next to Haru, their arms brushing, holding hands under the table whenever Rin didn’t need to gesture as part of his story, and just occupying the same bubble of space in the same bubble of time.

It should’ve felt awkward, right?  After sixteen months of being apart, only communicating through emails and the occasional Skype call.  But even though some things were different—they’d grown up and their feelings with them—nothing felt odd or out of place.  Being with Haru felt as natural as breathing, Rin basking in the calm and warmth and rightness that surrounded them, whenever they were together.

Haru’s teammates were still pounding back beers when they left the restaurant.  Everyone wanted to check out the hot springs after that.  Even though Rin and Haru had plans, a quick relaxing soak and some time to digest seemed like a good idea. 

They did, at least, sit off by themselves in the large outdoor bath, reclining against the rocks in the steamy water with towels folded on their heads and their fingers laced together.

Not talking was nice after the endless dinner Q&A, the bath hardly quiet with the rest of their friends chatting in a different section of the pool (Gou and Chigusa had gone upstairs to the women’s baths on the second floor).  Rin didn’t feel the need to make conversation, letting the heat soak into his muscles, feeling the tension in his body unwind from their impromptu hard swim today.

“Rin?”

“Hm?”  Rin looked over, finding Haru’s gaze trained on the water.

Haru was silent for a few beats, then he smiled faintly (enigmatically), leaning his head on Rin’s shoulder.  “Never mind.  Let’s talk about it later.”  He closed his eyes.

Curiosity warred within Rin, but disturbing Haru when he looked so relaxed was hardly an option.  Instead, Rin gave Haru’s fingers a reassuring squeeze, a wordless promise— _we can talk when you’re ready, Haru.  I’ll be here._

-x-

When Seijuurou and his little brother showed up, a loud “Nagisacchi!!” and answering, “Momo-chan!!” revealing that they were all acquainted, Haru tugged on Rin’s hand. 

“Let’s go.”

“Mm.”  He nodded.  They escaped in the ensuing commotion, grabbing their sandals and slipping on their yukata, making their way back to the changing area for their clothes.

Rin didn’t feel guilty for ditching their friends as they crossed the parking lot back to the hotel and climbed the stairs to the second floor.

He got the door this time, his body warm and pulse already running fast as he hung the privacy sign on the doorknob and flicked all the locks.

Haru was waiting for him, Rin’s back hitting the wall as their lips met, as hands skimmed the shirt from his waist.  They broke apart long enough for Rin to lift his arms, letting Haru strip the T-shirt over his head.  He quickly returned the favor, then buried his hands in Haru’s hair, reeling him in for more kisses, reveling in the feel of Haru’s skin against his own.

They’d never tried an open-mouth kiss before, but Rin wanted it now—as much as he wanted everything with Haru—and he angled his head a bit more, drawing back enough to run the tip of his tongue lightly across the seam of Haru’s lips.

Haru gasped softly, pressing him harder against the wall as their mouths sealed together, the sudden influx of heat and new sensation making Rin’s stomach drop and the muscles in his abdomen tighten.  They explored and experimented, figuring out how to avoid each other’s teeth…then it was working, really, _really_ working and they only broke apart when air became imperative. 

Rin was sure his face matched the blush on Haru’s, the redness of his lips, too.  He bit back a groan as warm fingertips slid across his abdomen, falling to toy with the button closure of his trousers. 

“We should probably, uh, wash our hands,” Haru murmured.

The heat in Rin’s cheeks increased tenfold.  “Good idea.”

That done (and hardly bothering to dry off), they were kissing again, kicking off their shoes and clumsily feeling their way towards the bed.  Rin pushed Haru down on the first one they came to, climbing on top only to have Haru roll them and settle braced across his thighs.

“What are you OK with, Rin?” Haru asked, undoing the button on Rin’s pants and easing the zipper down.

Forming whole sentences was suddenly really, _really_ hard.  “Everything.  Anything.”  He sat up, barely breathing as he reached between them and unfastened the snap closure of Haru’s shorts.  “I, uh, brought…”  Rin nodded towards the nightstand, noting that a blue zippered case was sitting next to his bag from the drugstore.  Haru must’ve put it there _before_ they went to dinner.

Haru retrieved the plastic bag, shaking the contents onto the bed beside them.  He studied the condom box, then picked up the cylindrical bottle of lubricant.  “Pineapple-flavored, water-based…”

Rin flushed hard.  “Well, you know I love you…”

Haru smiled, opening the bottle and discarding the safety seal.  “Not everything tonight, Rin.  Since I’m racing on Saturday.  After that, though…”

Rin nodded, not having any time to be disappointed as he watched Haru pour a bit of the clear liquid into his palm and work it to coat his fingers all the way to the tips, the tangy scent of pineapple filling the air.  Hell, it was only the _sexiest_ thing he’d ever seen.  “OK,” he said, his voice coming out hoarse and uneven.

“You’re OK with…something?” Haru asked, trailing his other hand down Rin’s chest, running lightly over his abs.

“Yup,” he whispered, sucking in a breath, transfixed as Haru’s fingers slipped into his trousers.  _Oh fuck—_   Rin’s lungs emptied in a rush, leaving him gasping for air and sanity as Haru caressed him through his underwear.

There was glitter, tease, and desire in Haru’s eyes as he leaned in, catching Rin’s lips for a kiss.  “Give me a hand?”

He didn’t need to be told twice, finding the zipper of Haru’s shorts and dragging it down, getting a hand inside—  Feeling _Haru_ had him swearing up a storm in his head, groaning into their kiss, his hips moving of their own accord to press himself against Haru’s hand.

Haru shook, making a sound in his throat that Rin would never forget.  He broke their kiss, gasping.  “I _meant_ help me take off your pants, but this works too.”

“Why didn’t you just fucking _say_ —”

“No.”  Haru groaned, leaning into him, finding his lips again.  “Don’t stop, Rin.”

…They eventually wrestled each other’s clothes off.  Down against the sheets, trading kisses and harsh breaths as they moved together, it didn’t take Rin long at all to decide that he loved both pineapple and Haru’s idea of ‘something.’

-x-

It was dark when they were finally nestled together in bed, naked and post-shower (it was an extended shower, courtesy of the sakura-scented bodywash that Haru brought).  Rin was drowsy as hell and completely blissed out…and Haru cuddled against him, using his shoulder for a pillow, was the best thing on the fucking planet.

“Rin?”  Haru’s breath was warm across his collarbone.

“Hm?”  Rin’s eyelids were too heavy to lift, though he found Haru’s hand, lacing their fingers together.

“Do you think…sex makes people brave?”

 _Not sure I’m awake enough for a deep, philosophical discussion, Haru._   “Mm…probably.”

Haru inhaled slowly, his free arm tightening around Rin’s waist.  “Swim with me on Saturday?”

“Huh?”  His brow furrowed.  _Weren’t we talking about…bravery or something?_

Haru nuzzled the side of his neck, squeezing his fingers.  “Rin.  Swim with me.”

“Mm.”  Rin relaxed, sleep rapidly drawing him under.  “Yeah, whatever you want, Haru.”  He fought off a yawn, or tried to and failed.  “Whenever, wherever…”  Rin turned his head, brushing his lips against silky strands of black hair.  “Love you.”

Haru sighed with contentment, pressing a kiss to his jaw and snuggling in.  “Love you, Rin.” 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is some nsfw/adult content in this chapter.

* * *

Wednesday, August 4th, 2010

* * *

Rin stalked out of the registration tent, pinning his boyfriend with a glare.

“What?”  Haru met his gaze mildly.  “I said I wouldn’t hold you to it.”

“A ‘yes’ is a ‘yes,’ Haru.”  Rin exhaled through his nose, only stopping when their faces were mere centimeters apart.  “You waited until I was completely—”

Haru frowned.  “I wasn’t trying to trick you, Rin.  Maybe you don’t get how hard it was for me to ask.  I’ll admit part of me wanted to hear you say yes, even if you didn’t mean it.”

His irritation evaporated in an instant.  “You could’ve said it meant that much to you.”

Haru pressed his lips.  “We made a promise, didn’t we?”

“Dummy.”  Rin sighed, wrapping his arms around Haru’s shoulders and giving him a quick squeeze.  “One race isn’t gonna mess up my dream.”

Blue eyes softened and glistened, Haru leaning against him with a quiver, gripping fistfuls of Rin’s T-shirt.  “I’ve swum with the best in the world.  World Record holders, Beijing gold medalists…”  The words were murmured against his throat, so quiet Rin didn’t dare to breathe.  “But no one holds a candle to you, Rin.  No one even comes close.”

Rin sucked air, his eyes going wide.  “ _Haru_ …”  Fuck being in public.  He wanted to tackle Haru down to the grass, kiss him until his lips were red, until Haru knew— _really_ knew—that Rin loved him just as much.  Grabbing Haru’s wrist, Rin pulled him into the sliver of space between the tents and took Haru’s face in his hands.

Their lips melted together, the kiss _far_ too brief, but the startled noise Haru made in his throat was worth it.  As they parted, Rin carded his fingers through Haru’s hair, nipping gently at Haru’s lower lip.  “Keep saying things like that and we won’t get any practicing done today…”

Haru’s expression warmed, his small real smile turning all of Rin’s insides to mush.  “I’d be OK with that,” he whispered, capturing Rin’s mouth again.

…When they finally made it out to the starting platform in their practice suits—Haru’s square legs were different shades of red, with a small Japanese flag inside the left hipbone that made Rin feel really bitey for some reason—Takara was on the far left side, adjusting her goggles and setting her feet.  There was a swimmer headed straight for her section of the platform and Rin was about to call out—there was no way she _couldn’t_ see the guy swimming right where she was prepping to dive, right?

“Hey, wait, there’s—”  But he cut off, realizing that her gaze was trained on the swimmer, her arms held out from her body, fingertips moving slightly as she gauged, timed—

A hand flashed out of the water, slapping the platform.  Takara dove over top—

All of Rin’s nerves tingled, his lungs emptying in a puff.  He hadn’t swum a relay in two years.

“Wanna get in on that, Rin?” Haru asked from beside him.  “One lap each.  As a warm up.”

Rin stretched his yellow cap over his hair and tried not to sound too eager.  “You guys do it often, huh?  The three of you.”

Haru shrugged, settling his goggles on his forehead.  “Sometimes it’s four.”

“Who—”

The question caught in his throat as the swimmer climbed onto the platform in black square legs with tendrils of green, yellow, and gold along both hips.  He pulled off a green and yellow cap, brushing lake water from his face.  “You guys get lost between here and registration?” Sousuke asked.

Rin gaped at his best friend.  “Sousuke—”

“We took a short detour,” Haru said.

Sousuke smiled.  “I don’t see any grass stains, so it couldn’t have been that good.”

“What the—”  Rin blinked, struggling to form a coherent thought.  “Sousuke, you—”

Sousuke gave him a warm, fond look.  “Thought I’d join you guys for practice today.  You know, ahead of the race on Saturday.”

_“You’re racing on Saturday?!”_

Sousuke winced, tugging on an ear.  “Really?  That’s yell-worthy, Rin?”

Rin blushed, forcibly lowering his voice.  “When were you gonna tell me?”

…At which point Sousuke and Haru exchanged a glance, confusing him even more.

Sousuke shrugged.  “Now.”

_But...  What?  How the fuck…?_

“I think you broke him,” Haru murmured.

Rin took a deep breath.  _Get it together, Matsuoka_.  “You…didn’t just decide this today.”

“Nah.”  Sousuke shook his head.  “I’ve been registered for a while.  It’s my third race this season.”

 _Third..._   The words hit him like a gut punch, knocking the wind straight out of him.  Rin looked helplessly between his best friend and his boyfriend, the sourness churning in his stomach.  “You’ve been swimming together _behind my back?_ ”

“Ah, hell, Rin.  Make it sound like I climbed into bed with him or something.”

Haru exhaled.  “This is why I said we couldn’t tell him until he got back.”

 _OK, I’m overreacting._   But knowing it intellectually didn’t lessen the visceral reaction squeezing his insides like a vise.  Because he and Sousuke had gone to the same flight school, taken the same course load at the Academy (other than Rin’s internship in Australia)…  _How can you have what I gave up?_   Rin’s hands curled at his sides, his goggles crushed against his right palm.  _It’s not like I ever stopped wanting to swim, wanting to compete…_

“Mn.”  Haru frowned, searching his face.  “Might still’ve been a bad idea.”

“I got this,” Sousuke murmured, stepping into Rin’s personal space, forcing him to look up.  “You can be jealous if you want, Rin.  It’s your choice.  And you know it, or you wouldn’t have signed up for the race.  But you’re not gonna waste this week pouting like a kid who didn’t get his way, just because two people you care about decided to swim together.  Hell, half the reason is _because_ we missed you so much.”

A lump formed, hot and tight in Rin’s throat, his hands going slack, the strap of his goggles dangling from his fingertips.  “Sousuke…”

Sousuke smiled faintly, nudging him in the shoulder with wet knuckles.  “Suck it up, huh?”

“…Ah.”  Rin’s breath wavered; he managed to swallow around the lump, glancing from his best friend to the sober look in Haru’s eyes, reading Haru’s hesitance, his tenuous hope.  “Gomen.”

With a satisfied smile, Sousuke moved out of the way—

Rin launched himself at Haru, enfolding his boyfriend in a tight hug.  “ _Gomen_.”  He tucked his face against Haru’s throat, his eyes stinging.  “I want to swim with you so much.  Both of you.  I can’t help being jealous, but I won’t let it ruin this.  I’m gonna treasure _every_ _minute_.  I promise.” 

“ _Rin_.”  Warm arms circled his back, crushing their bodies together.

Rin couldn’t breathe, but he didn’t let go, either…not until Haru drew back, pressing their foreheads together, their swim caps making a squeaking sound.  “Even if you two fucking ganged up on me,” he muttered, meeting the soft smile in Haru’s eyes.

Sousuke cleared his throat.  “For the record, I had nothing to do with…whatever Haru did to get you to agree.”

“I just asked,” Haru said.

Rin pressed his lips, heat burning all the way to the tips of his ears.

“Right…”

Haru caught his hand and squeezed.  “I’ll take the next leg, Rin.  You can have anchor.”

“A-ah…”  Rin gripped Haru’s hand, smiling faintly.

Haru pulled away, settling his goggles over his eyes and taking Takara’s spot on the platform.  Rin could see her in the distance—bright purple cap—turning around the last buoy and swimming towards them.

He trapped his lips between his teeth, fighting a surge of raw emotion as he watched Haru set his feet for a relay start…just like in swim practice when they were kids, or when they raced in high school, or during meets when they fooled around and swam relays in the warm up pool (mostly Nagisa’s idea).  _I missed this so much._

“You know, tears make a pretty good goggle defogger—”

“Shut up, Sousuke.”  Rin kicked his friend lightly in the calf.

Sousuke laughed and kicked back.

-x-

It was a good day on the water—hot, light winds, few clouds—the hours passing quickly in relays and swimming elbow-to-elbow with Haru and Sousuke.  They barbequed in the park for lunch, Takara and the Mikoshiba trio joining them (though Seijuurou’s little brother Momotarou mostly ran from one tree to the next, hunting stag beetles).  Makoto had managed to conveniently ‘lose’ the protein powder Gou brought for seasoning the meal, not that Rin and Haru had anything to do with that, and they lounged on the grass with full bellies, soaking up the sun.

Though, really, why Seijuurou couldn’t seem to find his _shirt_ this whole time was a mystery.  “How’s the light, Takara-kun?” the guy asked, striking a pose.

Takara was snapping pics with her phone.  “Oh, that’s a good one, sweetie.”

Rin elbowed his sister.  “Gou, you’re drooling.”

“I am not.”  She folded her arms in a huff.  “It’s just that…”  Her brow furrowed in puzzlement.  “I don’t know.  His traps look familiar.”

 _Damnit_.  “What’s your username?”

“I’m not telling you!”  She shoved her phone into her pocket, glaring at him.  “Look, all I’ll say is…”  Gou lowered her voice, leaning towards him.  “There’s this really nice guy— _Traps4days_ —and he’s a keeper, because he actually sends me pictures _of his traps_.”  Sighing, she flicked her eyes skyward.  “Everyone else sends dick pics—”

“What?!?”

“—and I’m like, really?  You could send me gracilis or adductors and it would be fine, but that’s _not_ actually a muscle.”

“You were super clear in your profile, too,” Chigusa said, on Gou’s other side.  “Muscles only.  It’s the whole point of the forum.  I don’t get why guys always try to argue about it.”

Gou snorted.  “They’re just idiots.”

Rin rubbed a hand down his face.  “I have to go punch half the internet now, huh?”

“Probably more than half, Rin,” Haru said, resting his chin on Rin’s shoulder.

“Not helping, Haru,” he muttered, leaning back against his boyfriend.

After more training in the afternoon, they headed to gardens that Rei wanted to see and back to the onsen for dinner and relaxing in the baths.  There was enough going on that Rin could let loose and enjoy himself with their friends, especially with Haru there.

The jealousy wasn’t gone, exactly, more like an undercurrent, a buzzing in the back of Rin’s mind…until they were back in their room that night, undressing each other by the moonlight from the window.

Their clothes were a scatter on the floor as Rin pinned his lover to the bed, nipping at jaw, throat, the juncture of neck and shoulder—all of which seemed particularly sensitive and might explain why, even in official pictures, Haru never had his Team Japan uniform shirts buttoned all the way—while he teased Haru with torturously slow strokes… 

“Swimming with my best friend, huh?”

Haru’s hands slid from his hair to his back, digging into muscle as he gasped and trembled underneath.  “If it makes you feel better, it just sort of happened the first time.  Neither of us knew the other would be there.”

“Not really,” Rin murmured against Haru’s neck, adjusting his grip _just so_ to emphasize his point.

Haru groaned.  “Is this your idea of punishing me?”

“Hmph.”  Rin smirked, lifting his gaze to revel in Haru’s flushed face, eyes half-lidded with desire, lips parted…  “We’re getting there.”  He slid down the bed, taking his time, licking and biting lightly, tasting the salt on Haru’s skin.

Haru’s abs were taut beneath Rin’s lips, his breath coming in soft pants.  “No teeth, right?”

“ _God_ , I’m not a barbarian.”  Rin snorted, pressing a kiss to Haru’s inner thigh.  “I love you.”  He rested his cheek there, meeting Haru’s gaze and waiting.

Exhaling a shaky breath, Haru nodded.

Rin smiled, shifting onto his knees, wetting his lips…  Haru’s moan, his head hitting the pillow with a thud, was the _perfect_ revenge.

-x-

…A long string of expletives left Rin’s lips as he went limp against the sheets, breathing hard through the sweet and merciless aftershocks.

“You learned some interesting words in Australia,” Haru murmured, chin resting in the palm of his hand, elbow denting the mattress beside Rin’s thigh.  His eyes glittered in the dark, face smug as hell.

“Fucking get up here,” Rin muttered, reaching for his lover, his limbs feeling like jelly.

Haru crawled up the bed, slipping into his arms.  As their lips met in languid kisses, Rin rolled them onto their sides, tucking in, even though they were both hot and sweaty and cuddling probably wouldn’t be comfortable for long.  _But I want to, damnit_.

When Haru pulled him in closer, Rin fell in love all over again, closing his eyes and sighing against Haru’s throat, pressing into the caresses of Haru’s hands, gliding up and down his back.

For long moments, they were quiet, the room filled with the soft sound of breathing, Rin’s heartbeat gradually calming, their skin slowly cooling.

Haru’s arms tightened around him.  “You’re awake this time.”

Rin’s lashes fluttered against Haru’s cheek as he opened his eyes.  “Yeah.”  He waited without saying more, trying to stay relaxed, even though he knew—

“Does it have to be all or nothing, Rin?”

Rin drew a full breath before answering, his fingers curling into the hair at the base of Haru’s scalp.  “When people are dying, can it be less than everything?”  _I know you didn’t see the things I saw in Australia, Haru.  Even then, our missions were usually one boat, one surfer, one swimmer…  But everyone is someone’s son or daughter or sibling…or parent._

“Not arguing that,” Haru said, his exhale stirring Rin’s hair.  “When they’re not, though.”

Rin pressed his lips, fears he tried not to entertain—tried not to voice—rising inside.  “I’m here now.  We’re swimming together.”  He swallowed hard, forcing the rest out in a whisper.  “I know it’s not…enough—”

“Don’t.”  Haru pulled back, hand resting against his jaw, trapping him to the unwavering resolve in blue eyes.  “You’re enough.  More than enough.  You always have been.”

Warmth burned as Rin blinked back the threatening tears, Haru not letting go until he nodded.  He covered Haru’s hand with his own, intertwining their fingers.  “Haru, when I make the SRT, we can have a place in Tokyo.  You’ll swim, I’ll fly out of Haneda.  We won’t have to do this anymore.  Even if we have to be apart, we can come home to each other.  We can have a life together.”

Haru’s eyes widened, his lips parted around a quiet intake of breath.  “That’s what you want, Rin?”

“That’s what I want.”  Rin kissed his lover’s knuckles. 

Haru smiled, his eyes glistening in the dark, black hair gilded with silver.

Rin gripped Haru’s hand, his heart thudding in his chest.  “Can you wait a bit longer?”

Freeing his hand, Haru slid both arms around him, pressing him down until his shoulders were flush against the sheets.  “Are you happy, Rin?”

Rin’s lungs emptied in a rush.  “I’ve never been happier in my life than right now.”

Haru hugged him tight, finding his lips, the kiss slow and deep and sweet.  “That’s all I need.”

The tension faded from Rin’s limbs as he kissed Haru back, holding his lover close.  They lost themselves in the embrace, to sighs and I love you’s murmured against each other’s lips, their moments together far too precious to be used for _sleep_.

…Until one yawn had them both yawning (it was Haru first this time). 

“Shower and bed, Rin?” he asked, drawing Rin up with both hands.

“Yeah.”  Rin smiled sleepily and followed.

* * *

Saturday, August 7th, 2010

* * *

Race day was humid but cooler, clouds taking up swaths of the sky as a light wind blew east to west.  The opening ceremony was over—speeches by the organizers in front of the competitors and a cheering crowd of onlookers.  The media was out as well, Haru, Seijuurou, and Takara getting roped into pre-race interviews while Rin and Sousuke got their race numbers and their wristband locators.  It had been a feat, this morning, wrestling Haru into his full-length techsuit, which covered everything except his shoulders and most of his back.  In comparison, getting Rin into his leg skins was a breeze.

_“Honestly, how do you do this by yourself?”_

_“It takes a while.  Sometimes Mikoshiba helps.”  The look on his face must’ve been telling, because Haru winked at him.  “The lower half is all me, Rin.  Don’t worry.”_

_“Nn…”  That was better, but he was still jealous._

Shaving down yesterday probably made things easier than they would’ve been otherwise.  _That_ process had taken a good amount of time…though more because of distractions than any technical difficulties. 

The last bit of prep just before the race started was the most ridiculous, in Rin’s opinion…not that it stopped him from dipping gloved hands into the jar of petroleum jelly and greasing up Haru’s exposed skin, particularly concentrating on the straps and other edges of the suit where chafing was likely to occur. 

“Chafing is a legit thing,” Haru said, pulling on gloves and grabbing the jar from him, the two of them in the roped-off competitors’ area just back from the shore.

“Not arguing the chafing bit,” Rin muttered as Haru nudged him to turn, starting to rub the stuff onto his back.  “I’m just…used to swimming as fast as I can, weighed down by a ton of drag-inducing gear.  Shedding all that _and_ greasing up too…”

“Ah.”  There was mirth in Haru’s voice.  “You’re too good for this, Rin.  Why didn’t you just say so?”

He snorted.  “I’m not trying to sound conceited.”

“You were pretty eager to let me help you shave down yesterday.”

Rin pursed his lips, glancing around at the other swimmers; no one was _too_ nearby.  “Like I’m gonna turn down any naked activity with you, Haru,” he murmured, looking back over his shoulder.

Haru smiled, digging in a little more to either side of Rin’s spine, just where he liked it.

Rin bit his lower lip, muffling a groan.  “Speaking of…you’re still not gonna tell me where we’re staying tonight?”  They’d checked out of the hotel this morning, Haru arranging to have their luggage transferred to a new location for the evening.

“It won’t be a romantic surprise if I tell you.”

He did want the romantic surprise.  Still, though…  “ _Mn_ …”

Haru laughed.  “You can whine and pout all you want.  I’m more stubborn than you are.”

“Tch.  _Fine_.” 

Haru tugged on his arm, turning Rin back to face him.  “Shouldn’t you be thinking about our race, Rin?  It’s the first time in two years.  There’s a podium on the line and everything.”

“I _am_ thinking about our race,” he murmured, holding his lover’s gaze.  “Wondering what I get when I win.”

“That depends on two things,” Haru said, working the jelly down his front, coating his abs.  “What you _want_ …”

Haru dipped his fingers lower, getting just inside the waistband of his leg skins, Rin hitching a breath.

“…and if you _really_ think you can beat me.”  Haru’s eyes shimmered with challenge.

 _If we were alone, I’d kiss that smirk off your face._   Rin exhaled hard, leaning in until their foreheads touched.  “Watch me, Haru.”

Haru pressed his lips, gaze flicking down to Rin’s mouth, and backed away with a tantalizing hint of a smile.

-x-

There were nearly thirty entrants for the time trial 5k event, to be followed by community 5k and 3k races.  Rin, being one of the last to sign up, had race number 27 in temporary tattoos on each deltoid and on both shoulder blades.  Seijuurou had number 1, Takara had 2, Haru was 3, and Sousuke was 12.  The modest crowd of onlookers cheered as they headed out towards the starting platform after warm ups, trailed by the cameras.

“Haru-chan!  Rin-chan!  Ganbatte!!”  “Onii-chan!!  Haru-nii!!  Sousuke-kun!!” 

 _When the heck did you guys make signs?_   Rin smiled, waving at his sister and their friends.

As the three of them got out to the starting platform, Haru caught Rin’s hand, squeezing for the briefest second.  Their eyes met, the familiar thrill buzzing electric between them.

“Keep up, Rin,” Haru murmured.

Rin grinned, squeezing back.  “My line, Haru.”

“I won’t go easy on either of you.”  Sousuke wore leg skins in basic black with a green and yellow swim cap.  His smile was confident and eager, an echo of the rivalry Rin and his best friend started when they were kids, that time and distance had never lessened. 

“You’d better not.”  Rin offered his fist.

Haru nodded.

They fist-bumped—all three of them—before heading to the opposite ends of the platform for their starting positions. 

Race officials did their final checks, the chase kayaks and support boats in the water, film crews ready.  Rin made one final adjustment to his yellow swim cap as the officials handed off to the starter.

_“Take your marks.”_

He snapped the strap of his goggles, slotted in between racers 26 and 28, feet poised on the edge of the platform, his whole body taut and waiting for the signal—

The pulse sounded and Rin dove, going into streamline, piercing the water fingertips first.  He dolphin-kicked and came up to strong pulls of free, fighting his way through the main pack—dodging elbows and feet as much as possible.  It wasn’t long until he was up with the leaders, aiming for a blue swim cap and number 3.  He drew up alongside Haru, their eyes locking as they breathed—

The pleasure in Haru’s gaze was unmistakable, contagious, overwhelming.  Rin felt it all surging through his veins, heart racing, muscles humming—

As they rounded the first buoy for the straightaway, Sousuke came up on Rin’s left and slid past.

 _Pff_.  Rin stayed on his best friend’s ankles, answering Sousuke’s smirk with one of his own.  It was too soon into their hour-long race to be sprinting. 

After the second buoy, 250 meters in, the three of them were in a line, well ahead of the main pack and a few lengths behind Seijuurou and Takara.  The glint started in Haru’s eyes—challenge and invitation—as they sighted his teammates up ahead.

 _Hell yeah, I’m in._   Rin breathed to his left, catching Sousuke’s attention. 

Sousuke popped himself up a little higher for his next breath, gauging the distance.  At his smile, Rin knew they had it.  He turned back towards Haru, meeting the spark in blue eyes.  Then, they were churning up the water, all three of them giving chase—

Rin had never felt more alive.

-x-

The five of them traded the lead through four laps, bunching up through the buoy turns and accelerating down the straightaways.  Chase kayaks attended them, watching hawkishly for anything that looked like intentional drafting or interference, any violation that might require a warning (or worse, disqualification).  But other than a few accidental elbow jabs, they managed to keep it clean.

The final pink buoy was looming in the water ahead of them.  Without warning, Seijuurou kicked it up to a sprint—

 _Oh, like hell._   Rin grinned despite muscles screaming with fatigue.  He followed, Haru surging forward beside him, Sousuke right on his heels.  They flew around the final turn, one hundred meters to go to get to the finish arch near the shore—

With Haru, he’d always been unstoppable.  How many races had come down to this?  Relay anchors, all hitting the water at different times, but _always_ neck-in-neck at the end—with Haru, with Sousuke—each of them pushing, encouraging, _inspiring_ —

_You’ve always got a little more to give._

They caught up with Seijuurou’s ankles…knees…waist…  Slipping past, the three of them collided at the finish, the archway _right there_ , arms circling overhead to slap the timing board—

Rin had no idea who hit first.  A wave of water pushed him under and he came up laughing, rolling onto his back to float and gasp for breath.

“ _Rin_.”  Haru was suddenly in his arms, nearly on top of him, hugging him, face pressed against his cheek.  His hitched, labored breathing almost sounded like…crying.

Startled, Rin drew back enough to reach for Haru’s face, meeting reddened eyes and droplets splashed on the inside of tinted goggles.  “Haru…”

Haru pushed himself into Rin’s arms.  “Love you,” he whispered.

Rin could only stare up at the sky, emotion starting to burn in his eyes as he held Haru close, the two of them bobbing in the gentle waves.

A hand squeezed Rin’s bicep.  He found Sousuke next to them, floating on his back, smiling with unmistakable warmth through hard breaths.

 _Ah, fuck._   The tears welled up and Rin didn’t bother to fight them, pressing his face into Haru’s shoulder and clutching his best friend’s hand.

-x-

Haru had taken first, it turned out, Sousuke second and Rin third, their times separated by fractions of a second, only.  They had a couple minutes to down water bottles, sponge off the residual grease, and towel dry before they were ushered to the awards ceremony in front of a blue and white _Nakaumi Open Water Swim_ banner, the platform on the rocks with the lake in the background.

He’d missed this—he couldn’t deny how damn much he’d missed this, even if it was only a small local event and wouldn’t count for anything.  There were three men and three women on the platform, Takara taking first place for the women, while Seijuurou stood off to the side, grinning with his arms folded across his chest, not looking the least bit disappointed to have lost a medal.

Race officials hung the blue and white lanyard around Rin’s neck, the small medal glinting in the sun as it lay against his chest.  Their friends were cheering and jumping (Gou) in the audience, the photographer motioning them together for pictures.

Rin slung his arm around Haru’s shoulders, holding up his medal and grinning for the camera. 

Sousuke draped his arm on top, hand resting on Rin’s shoulder, Haru between them.  “More exciting than a 5k gear swim, huh?”

Rin snorted.  “Fine.  I’ll admit it.  Better than art school too, yeah?”  He glanced at Haru.

Sousuke made an odd little noise while Haru smiled faintly, his gaze dropping towards their feet.

 _Did I say something weird?_   Rin chewed his lower lip as he tried to think.

“On three, OK?” the photographer said.

Rin reluctantly turned his attention back to the camera.

A warm arm wrapped around Rin’s waist.  “Yeah,” Haru murmured, his hand settling on Rin’s hip.  “Better than art school.”

-x-

“Congrats, you guys!!”  Gou flung her arms around Rin’s neck, squeezing him tight as they stood on the grass, back from the crowds.

“Thanks, Gou.”  Rin hugged her back.

“Sou-chan, congratulations!”  Nagisa—clad in black and green jammers—latched onto Sousuke’s left arm.  “This means you made it, right?”

“Yeah.”  Sousuke smiled.  “Thanks.”

 _Oh._   Rin’s back tensed.  He straightened, his arms falling away from his sister.

“Sou-chan’s gonna swim with Haru-chan in Tokyo!”  Nagisa broke away from Sousuke and tackled Makoto.  “Ne, Mako-chan, Sou-chan can stay with us at your place, right?”

Makoto smiled graciously as always.  “Well, if you don’t mind it being a little crowded.  Otherwise, Haru’s got room.”

“But Haru-chan and Rin-chan…”  Nagisa trailed off, several pairs of eyes landing on Rin.

Everyone except Haru was looking at him.  Rin worked past the pang he felt to manage a smile.  “I’m sure I can get away for the day at least.  It’s a Sunday, right?”

“Yay!  Then, definitely Rin-chan will stay with Haru-chan.  So, Sou-chan should…”  Nagisa chattered on, but Rin tuned it out as he glanced at Haru, barely breathing as Haru met his gaze.

Haru was pleased—that much was clear in the warmth of Haru’s eyes.  But there was more below the surface, a quiet resignation, words that would never be uttered because of the promise they’d made.  _I want you in the water with me._

Rin knew…because the same longing echoed in his heart.

-x-

Nagisa, Makoto, and Rei swam the community 3k early in the afternoon, Rin and the others cheering them on from the shore.  There were over sixty entrants in the event—all ages participating, including some obvious parent-child pairs.  The course was an utter madhouse with so many.

“Did you ever swim like that with your dad?” Haru asked, their fingers laced together against the grass between them.

“A couple times.”  Rin smiled at memories of chasing his dad down the beach to the water…

“Did you win?”

“Twice, I think.”  They bet things like chores, making dinner…  Even though Rin’s dad seemed the type that hated to lose, he was always happy when Rin won.

Haru hummed thoughtfully.

Rin glanced over.  “Not a lot of open water swimming in Hokkaido, huh?”

Haru snorted with amusement.  “Depends on how hard-core you are, I guess.  I raced once a year in middle school.  My parents always came to watch.”  His gaze was on the water, his eyes and smile soft.

When they’d first met, Haru rarely talked about his parents, especially his dad.  It warmed Rin inside to see how much that had changed, particularly when he remembered what Haru said once.

_“Seeing you with your dad—especially after you talked about the storm—made me realize how much I missed mine.  So I asked my mom if we could go.  Did Makoto tell you that’s why I moved?”_

Of course Makoto hadn’t mentioned the reason in his letters, only that Haru and his mom had moved to join his dad in Sapporo.  He’d let Rin find out on his own, during a sleepover one Christmas when Rin was sixteen.  They’d been curled up on adjacent futons with the snow piling up outside the window and their friends’ rhythmic breathing (and Nagisa murmuring in his sleep) nearby.  Rin’s blankets overlapped Haru’s at the corner and they were holding hands underneath, facing each other with their pillows close together as Haru told him. 

He’d never forget the words, nor the gentle pressure and the way his heart pounded as they shyly kissed goodnight…

“Rin.”

Haru’s voice drew him from his memories, a mild breeze stirring their hair and rippling across their T-shirts.  Closer to the edge of the water, the cheering grew louder as the swimmers entered their final lap.

“About art school…”  Haru pursed his lips.  “I’m not going back next semester.”

“Huh?”  Rin’s surprise quickly gave way to a weight on his shoulders, a fresh wave of jealousy.  He fought to keep it from showing.  “Oh, for swimming, you mean.”

But Haru shook his head.  “It’s not that, Rin.  I applied to Coast Guard Flight School.”

“What?”  Rin blinked, utterly stunned.  _There’s no way you just said_ —

Haru’s expression softened; he squeezed Rin’s hand.  “I start in late September.”

 _“What?!?!”_   Rin got Haru by both shoulders, nearly climbing into his lap.  “Haru, you…?  What about—?”  He broke off, helpless, breathless, a million thoughts swirling in his head, not one of them coherent.

Warm hands found his arms, gliding across muscle and skin in soothing caresses.  “My dad says the way to find what you love is by trying out different things.  Art school wasn’t it.  I love swimming competitively, but that’s not forever.”

Rin’s eyes stung with the beginnings of tears.  “But you _said_ …  About having schedules and being ordered around and…”

“Mn.”  Blue eyes filled with mirth.  “It can’t be much worse than the Team Japan coaching staff.”

“ _Haru_ …”  Rin’s vision blurred.

Haru leaned their foreheads together, lowering his voice to a whisper.  “Sousuke helped me find discovery flights, where I could go up and give it a try.”  His fingertips brushed Rin’s face, pushing the tears away.  “Rin, I never felt so _free_.  And up there, I felt so close to you.  Almost like swimming.”

 _Haru, fuck_.  Rin sobbed, throwing his arms around Haru’s shoulders. 

Strong arms circled his waist.  “I haven’t decided anything after that, yet.  But I want to see the ultimate team you told me about.  I want you to show me.”

Rin buried his face in Haru’s throat, his tears hitting his lover’s skin.  “…OK,” he whispered, the word soft and broken and all that he could manage.

-x-

He was sure his eyes and nose were still red, but he went anyway, marching over to where Sousuke and Takara were laid out on beach towels in the sun, having traded their techsuits for leisure swimwear.

“How much of this is your fault?” Rin asked, standing over his best friend, one hand perched on his hip.

Takara made a noise of irritation and rolled over.  “You’re blocking the sun, Matsuoka.”

“Sorry.”  He took one step to the side, but didn’t stop glaring.

Sousuke tipped down his shades, looking at Rin over top.  “Finally told you, huh?”  A smile crossed Sousuke’s face as he settled his sunglasses into place and tucked one arm behind his head.  “Haru contacted me.  Not the other way around.  But I did make sure he went up with the best instructors we know.”

Rin’s face crumpled as a fresh wave of emotion hit him.  He sank to his knees in the grass.

Sousuke held up a fist, which Rin wordlessly, tearily bumped his knuckles against.

-x-

“There’s just no probable, logical explanation of how it got there.”  Rei grimaced, green in the face as he picked yet another strand of kelp out of his hair.

“It’s open water, Rei-chan.  You just made friends with the seaweed.”  Nagisa laughed, helping him.

The 3k race was over—medals handed out, race day festivities complete, fans and swimmers heading towards the parking lot.

“This place looks good,” Takara said, her arm through Sousuke’s as she showed him her phone.

Sousuke peered down at the screen as they walked together.  “Karaoke Seed, huh?”

Rin tried not to blush (or fidget) as Haru got car keys from Makoto.

“Have a good night, you guys,” Makoto said, handing off the orange fish keychain.  “We’ll see you tomorrow at the station.”

“Ah.”  Haru accepted the keys.  “Thanks, Makoto.”

Makoto smiled.  “Sure.”

Plenty of sly looks were directed Rin and Haru’s way as they parted from the others, carrying their gear bags to the parking lot.  Rin’s self-consciousness faded once they were alone, replaced by the warm anticipation of a whole night to themselves and whatever Haru had planned.

“You’re gonna tell me now?” he asked, buckling his seatbelt as Haru adjusted the driver’s seat for his height.

“You’ll see when we get there, Rin,” Haru said, fixing the mirrors before he strapped in and started the car.

Their destination was on Miho Bay, right on the beach, less than a kilometer from the previous hotel and onsen.  Haru parked the car outside of a two-story beige building with a stone patio.  They gathered their things and headed up the front steps alongside a manicured Japanese pine to sliding glass doors.

The lobby was warmly lit, all wood, with a row of slippers laid out and a small front desk.  Male staff wore suits while the women wore yukata.  –Obviously not a normal hotel, but a hot spring ryokan, price tag well into five digits (of yen) per night if Rin had to guess. 

They toed off their shoes in the genkan, stepping up and donning the provided slippers as staff attended them.  Rin gnawed his lower lip as Haru filled in the paperwork at the front desk.  Minutes later, they were led through the halls by their guide, who pointed out the way to the hot springs and spa areas before taking them across to the adjacent building and upstairs.

 Their room was on the third floor, with a private toilet and sink area just inside the entrance and their luggage waiting next to the door.  The room itself was Japanese-style—all tatami, separated from the entryway by sliding panels.  A low table with two cushioned seats was set out on the tatami, on the right-hand wall was a small alcove lit from above, bearing a scroll with a painting of rolling hills and a placid seashore.  The main draw of the room, though (easily capturing Haru’s attention from the start) was the private bathing area on the balcony, visible through floor-to-ceiling glass, with a raised wooden floor, expansive views of the ocean and beach, and an ofuro large enough for two.

They sat at the table while the attendant served them tea and snacks, Rin chuckling to himself as Haru’s eyes kept darting to the balcony, in between absent nods and murmurs to the staff member’s questions and instructions.

“…And breakfast will be at nine AM, per your request,” she said, retracting the empty tray and waiting for confirmation.

That late?  Rin arched a brow, Haru—sitting across from him—not replying right away, tugging on the neck of his T-shirt.  Then again… _we’re not racing or practicing in the morning._

Rin cleared his throat lightly.  “Yes, thank you.”

The woman bowed to them.  “ _Kashikomarimashita_.  Please enjoy your stay.”  She withdrew, closing the sliding panel to the tatami area, the door clicking shut as she left.

Rin sipped the hot matcha green tea.   “Haru, places like this are like fifty-thousand a night.”

“Which is why we’re only staying one night, Rin,” Haru said, finally looking at him instead of the bath.  He pressed his lips, black hair falling across his brow.  “…Do you like it?  There isn’t snow…and it’s not as nice as the place you picked out that one time.”

 _You remembered._   Warmth blossomed in Rin’s cheeks.  “It’s perfect.”

Haru’s eyes brightened instantly, making Rin melt inside. 

Rin set down his teacup, rising on his knees to lean over the table.  Haru met him there, the kiss tender, deepening quickly with gentle sweeps of tongue that tasted like green tea.

As fingers carded through his hair, fingertips raking gently against his scalp, Rin broke away, shivering with pleasure, moist air trailing unevenly from his lips.  “Are we gonna make it until bedtime?”

Haru pulled him back for another kiss.  “I requested the futons be laid out early.”

“Not just now you didn’t.”

“When I called before.”

Rin eyed his lover suspiciously.  “Haru, how long ago did you make this reservation?”

“I’m not telling.”

-x-

They spent the hour before dinner filling the tub—for later—and using baby oil to remove the heat transfer race numbers from each other’s skin.  Warm sea-salt breezes washed over them, the balcony surrounded by a half-wall of wooden slats for privacy.

“You know all the tricks,” Rin murmured, arching back into Haru’s touch, the washcloth dragging pleasantly across his right shoulder blade as they sat on stools on the wooden floor.  They both wore square leg practice suits—nudity plus damp skin was also for later.

“Mikoshiba and Takara know all the tricks,” Haru said.  “They’re happy to share.”

“Good teammates.”

“Yeah.”

 _I miss that._   As much as he’d been a part of the team in Australia, his time away had cost him in terms of connecting with his class of fellow cadets.  It was something he needed to—wanted to—work on this next semester.

Rin pursed his lips.  “After Tokyo, you’ve got more comps this fall?  Pool swimming.”

“There’s only a couple I’m considering.”  The washcloth lifted from his skin as Haru applied more baby oil and started in on his left shoulder blade.  “I’m mostly taking the semester off so I can focus on flight school.  Until April.”

 _The Japan Swimming Championships…ahead of Worlds in Shanghai, next July._   Rin’s hands curled against his knees.  He couldn’t stop himself from remembering how it felt last year—watching Haru swim without him, watching Haru make the National Team without him…

“Rin?”  The scrubbing stopped, Haru’s fingertips gliding over the muscles in his back that had gone tense again.

He drew a deep breath and let it out slowly, leaning on his forearms.  “Sometimes, I…”  The words came out softly, barely a whisper.  “I just…”  He couldn’t say it.  He couldn’t say those things out loud—feelings he _shouldn’t_ have, things he was sure he’d gotten over, grown out of…

Arms wrapped around his waist, Haru’s chest warm against his back, cheek pressed to the nape of his neck.  “It’s OK.  You don’t have to fight with yourself.  I wasn’t trying to make you feel guilty, telling you about flight school.”

Rin shook his head.  _It’s not that._

Haru was quiet for a moment, Rin feeling the slow rise-fall of his chest as he breathed.  “Then…are you still—”

He couldn’t let Haru say the word, twisting in his lover’s arms until their lips were flush.  …As if not admitting the jealousy aloud made it not true.  …As if there wasn’t a place burning inside him, just sometimes, filled with all the things he couldn’t let himself want.

Rin didn’t draw back until their lips were reddened and they were both breathless.  “Tonight’s about us,” he murmured.  “Sorry I brought it up.”

Haru searched his face for long heartbeats.  Eventually, he nodded, though he seemed more resigned than agreed.

_Because, really, what kind of idiot am I to think that ‘us’ and swimming aren’t indelibly intertwined?_

_…No, no.  Swimming is still ours.  It’s just competing.  Only competing…_

They kissed again, Haru initiating, holding Rin’s face between soft palms faintly slick with baby oil.  “Sousuke says some of the flight school training happens at the Academy?”

Rin exhaled hard, meeting the vibrant blue of Haru’s eyes.  “Yeah, it does.”

“It wasn’t why I decided,” Haru murmured, the tip of his thumb tracing the outline of Rin’s lips.  “I’m glad, though.  You asked me the other night if I could wait.  I can.”  His gaze dropped to Rin’s mouth, thumb falling away to allow a kiss—deep and insistent.  “I _can_ , Rin.  But I really don’t want to.”

“ _Fuck_.”  Rin twisted his arms around his lover’s neck.  “Me either.”

-x-

They eventually pried themselves apart, finished washing, and got dressed prior to dinner time.  Haru donned a dark blue yukata with flowing lines of white like water.  Rin took a moment to appreciate the view—mostly thoughts of getting Haru _out_ of the yukata, honestly—before he attended to his own clothes.  The second yukata was pale gray with a diamond pattern of red and blue.

Precisely at their appointed dinner hour, a knock sounded at the door.  Rin went to get it, letting their attendant into the room.  She cleared the table, serving them water, tea, and hot towels for their hands.  Dinner was presented on lacquer trays—one for each of them, bearing a dozen or so elegant dishes, artfully prepared and arranged along with a folded paper explaining the various courses in columns of calligraphy.

The amount of greenery and number of vegetable courses was a pleasant surprise, along with properly sized portions of fish for Haru and meat for Rin.  The server bowed and left them to their meal.

“Good, Rin?” Haru asked, watching him eye the food.  The subtle smile on Haru’s face though…

 _You know you nailed it._   “I’m used to kaiseki ryori being a million courses—all delicious—but I can hardly _move_ afterwards.”

“Same.”  Haru looked away…and was that a blush rising in his cheeks?  “I wanted something…simple for tonight.”

 _No really, how long have you been planning to bring me here and seduce me?_   Rin would’ve chuckled if he didn’t want this—want them—so badly.  He cleared his throat, shifting more comfortably on his knees.  “Haru, it’s perfect.”

Haru met his gaze, smiling and content, Rin feeling like he’d dissolve into a puddle for all the warmth and love inside him.

They bowed their heads, pressing their palms together.  “ _Itadakimasu_ —”

-x-

After fresh fruit and anmitsu for dessert, they headed downstairs to the communal baths on the second floor, digesting, soaking, and unwinding as they watched the sunset over Miho Bay.  Tomorrow, Rin, Sousuke, and Gou would return to Hiroshima by train, while Haru and the others drove back to Iwatobi.  From there, Haru and Makoto had an evening flight to Tokyo out of Tottori…

Tomorrow and the weeks following were not on Rin’s radar as he bathed with Haru—not in moments of sweet chatter and precious silence as they communicated far more in subtle touches, looks, and gestures than in mere words.  They had _hours_ together tonight and Rin was warm with the promise of it, impatient maybe, but it was important they were _both_ ready, so—

Haru’s breath wafted over Rin’s shoulder as he leaned in, fingers skimming the length of his thigh underwater.  “ _Rin_ …”

 _Fuck_.  Rin grabbed his lover’s hand at the wrist, using his towel to cover himself as he climbed out of the water and pulled Haru with him.

Neither of them bothered with underwear as they dried off and donned their yukata in the dressing area, heading up one flight of stairs…

Their room was bathed in the glow of lamp light, the table and chairs put away, the futons laid out side-by-side on the tatami floor.  The sky outside was indigo blue, the undersides of the clouds scarlet red as the last rays of sun slowly faded. 

“I’ll…just be a sec,” Rin murmured, heart beating a staccato rhythm in his chest as Haru nodded, as they parted with a kiss.

He took his time washing up in the restroom, every limb relaxed, his nerves prickling with the anticipation of Haru’s touch.  This was going to be new, but he wasn’t anxious—not with Haru, the one he loved.  He’d wanted this—with Haru—for a long, long time.

Rin gave his hair a final scrub with the towel as he headed out to the main room, stepping up barefoot onto the tatami.

Haru’s gaze, dark blue like seawater, flicked over him, leaving Rin a tad breathless as Haru slipped past him for the bathroom.

Exhaling slowly, Rin folded up his towel, noting that Haru had put his blue case and the tissue box near their pillows.  He arranged the bedding and sat down, fanning himself with one hand, feeling like his skin was burning under the yukata in ways that had nothing to do with their hot spring bath. 

His heart leapt in his chest as he heard the bathroom door, as Haru came back and closed the sliding panel behind him.  Rin waited without breathing as Haru joined him on the futon, his gaze drawn from black hair—wet and glossy—to the bronzed skin at the V of Haru’s yukata…to the right knee parting folds of fabric.  He reached out, seeking Haru’s hands—

The instant they touched, the spark leapt from Rin’s fingertips, up his arms, to his heart and outward.  Breath trailed ragged from his lips as he drew Haru in, the kiss searing and deep, arms caging each other, hands grasping fistfuls of fabric like it had been _years_ since they last embraced.  He couldn’t taste enough of Haru’s mouth or the salt on Haru’s skin; he certainly didn’t need _air._

Nimble fingers slipped between them, working the knot on Rin’s obi belt until the sash came loose, falling to rest at his thighs.  Then Haru’s hand was raking fire across his bare skin, along the V of his throat, parting the panels of his yukata.  He was _not_ prepared for the desire in blue eyes, scraping his exposed flesh.  Rin bit back a groan, grabbing for Haru’s belt as warm lips and a warmer tongue traced a path down his neck, over his thudding pulse point.

His efforts were not helped by Haru’s wandering hands, gliding beneath fabric across his traps and down to his obliques and hips, but he managed to get the damn thing untied and tossed aside, Haru’s yukata falling open.  The sight alone had Rin sinking teeth into his lower lip, gazing at bronzed and blushing skin, and, well—

As Haru leaned over him, he went down willingly, gasping at the sudden contact of hot skin, at the firm press of hips.  Haru’s mouth covered his, stealing his breath, drinking in his moans.  Rin slid his hands beneath Haru’s yukata, wrapping his arms tight around his lover as they moved against each other.

Haru broke the kiss, breathless.  “I want you,” he whispered against Rin’s lips.

Rin groaned as a lash of pleasure went through him.  “I’m yours,” he murmured, slipping one leg over Haru’s left calf.

“Mm.”  Haru lifted his head, meeting Rin’s gaze.  “That’s not what I mean,” he said, sliding his knee outside of Rin’s to dent the futon.

Oh.  _Oh, fuck._   Rin breathed out.  “You’re sure?”

Haru nodded, smiling with his eyes.

Rin gathered his lover close, kissing Haru slow and deep before rolling them over.  He was sure he was blushing like mad as he shifted onto his knees between Haru’s thighs and reached for the blue case, but the soft look in Haru’s eyes—the want and affection—well overcame his self-consciousness.

He unzipped the case, feeling for the bottle of lubricant, intent on being suave about this…but suddenly he was blinking at a myriad of little foil packets in different languages and colors and—

“Haru, what the serious fuck is this?”  Rin pulled out a white packet, clear on the back with a pink condom inside.  “Watermelon flavored?”

Haru sat up with a shrug, taking the case from him and sifting through the contents.  “What?  They were free in the Village, so…”

 _Don’t tell me I should’ve bought the variety pack_.

The thought didn’t stick, though, not as aroused as he was and _not_ when Haru pressed the bottle of lubricant into Rin’s hand.

“One of these, Rin?” he asked, holding up two packets—one shiny gold and one shiny silver—as the yukata dipped off his shoulder.  Haru’s eyes glittered, his smile even more so.  “I don’t have bronze.”

Rin bit back a string of expletives, grabbing the packets and tackling his lover to the sheets in a flutter of fabric.  “Bronze is gonna knock your fucking socks off,” he muttered into Haru’s throat, working his teeth against Haru’s skin as Haru snorted with laughter.

He didn’t laugh for long, though.  Soon enough, the only sounds Haru made were glorious, his fingers scraping along Rin’s traps…  Rin forgot about revenge, too, gasping and shaking as he moved inside, in awe of their union and drowning in the love in Haru’s eyes.

-x-

“I’ve been selfish this week,” Haru murmured.

“Hm?”  Rin arched a brow, reclining comfortably and sated in Haru’s arms.  The water was pleasantly lukewarm, the night breezes cooling their heated skin while the gentle crash of the surf drifted up from the beach below.

Haru tightened arms and legs around him, sighing into his hair.  “With swimming, with our lovemaking, with every minute we’re awake…  Gomen.”

“Haru, fuck.”  Rin sat up, twisting in his lover’s embrace.  “Be more selfish than this.  _I’m_ the one who left for eight months.”

Haru’s gaze softened.  “And I was gone the eight before that.”  He smiled, though, squeezing with the arm wrapped around Rin’s waist, taking one of Rin’s hands in his.  “I want the memories.  All of them.”  He pressed Rin’s open palm over his heart.  “As many as I can fit in here.”

“ _Haru_.”  Rin’s eyes burned, the water in the tub sloshing as he leaned down, kissing Haru’s chest between his fingers, feeling the steady pulse of Haru’s heart against his lips.  “I want us to be so much more than memories.”

“I only mean for now, Rin.”  Damp fingers slid across his cheek.  “While we’re apart and busy.  Until we can have the life you talked about.”  Haru drew him up until their mouths met in a gentle kiss…

 _Even if we’re apart and busy...  I can’t be starving us._   Because there _was_ something worse than jealousy, than not competing.  He didn’t want to know what it felt like.

Haru sighed contentedly as they parted, holding him close and cuddling in.  “Love you, Rin.”

“Love you, Haru.”  The words came on the heels of a choice, a promise he left unsaid for now, but that he chiseled deep into his heart, alongside their week of memories.

* * *

Sunday, August 8th, 2010

* * *

Breakfast at 9AM turned out to be the perfect time, if not borderline too soon, as they scrambled to wash up and find enough clothes to be decent before the attendants came in to attend to the bedding and serve their meal.  Rin shifted in the cushioned chair, sore but loving it as he sipped his tea.  Across from him, there was a permanent blush in Haru’s cheeks, pleasure and affection in Haru’s eyes.  All throughout breakfast, Rin kept flashing back to how it felt, how Haru looked above him, pressing him into the sheets as dawn lightened the sky outside.  He wouldn’t really be able to pick which he liked better if anyone asked (not that he would answer because it was no one’s damn business).

Checkout was at 10AM.  They said their goodbyes before leaving the room, in private, holding each other close, trading long kisses.

“I’ll be there in Tokyo,” Rin said against Haru’s ear, his arms wrapped tight around his lover’s shoulders.  “Can I stay with you?”

“You’d better,” Haru said, his voice as warm as his smile.

Their lips met softly.  “See you then?” Rin asked.

“Yeah.”

It was a quiet drive to the station where they were meeting the others, at which point it instantly got noisy with Nagisa crying on everyone including Rei who wasn’t actually leaving.  But they managed to calm him eventually, getting luggage sorted and into the right cars.

Rin trailed behind Sousuke and Gou, waving at Haru until the last possible second, cementing that sad but sweet smile on his heart.  He finally turned away, tapping his pass and heading through the gate into the station.

Soon, they were on the first of three trains, starting their four-hour journey home.  Too bad there wasn’t a return Coast Guard flight they could’ve snagged, but this was still faster than driving to Tottori and flying to Hiroshima via _Haneda_.

Gou curled up in the seat across from them, earbuds in and gaze fixed on her phone.

Rin stifled a yawn, probably the fifth one.

Sousuke elbowed him.  “Did you get any sleep last night?”

“Shut up.”  Rin eyed his best friend askance, noting the dark circles on Sousuke’s face.  “Did _you_?  Or were you up all night singing?”

“I got enough.” 

Rin cocked a brow at a suspicious red mark peeking out from the neck of Sousuke’s T-shirt.  “What’s that?”

“Huh?  Oh.”  Sousuke shrugged.  “Mosquito bite probably?”

 _Right_ …  Rin let it slide.  “Hey, so…”  He rubbed the back of his neck.  “Let me ask you something.”

“Hm?”

Rin drew a deep breath and faced his friend squarely.  “What do I need to qualify for Tokyo?”

Sousuke didn’t bat an eyelash at the question.  “One more top three finish.”

“When’s the next race?”

“The next _closest_ race is Shibukawa in two weeks.”

Rin nodded, holding up a fist.  “Thanks.”

Sousuke smiled, bumping their knuckles together, giving him a knowing look.

“Ehh.”  Rin blushed under his best friend’s scrutiny.  “Don’t look at me like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like _that_.”  He prodded Sousuke with an elbow.

“Hmph.” 

But Sousuke’s smile was contagious and Rin settled back, warm and eager, as the countryside flashed by out their window.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Full-length techsuits](http://livedoor.blogimg.jp/tobiuojapan/imgs/e/9/e928451a.jpg)
> 
>  
> 
> [Ryokan room](http://www.shogetsu.co.jp/rooms/choukai/images/slide2_01-pc.jpg)


	4. Chapter 4

* * *

Saturday, August 14th, 2010

* * *

Mornings without Haru…waking up without Haru…was an adjustment.  A week shouldn’t have been long enough to get addicted, right?  And yet…  Rin couldn’t help the longing that rose inside him, every time he woke to cold, empty sheets instead of Haru next to him, awake or asleep, with drowsy blue eyes and adorable bedhead…or pressed flush against him and cuddling with ulterior motives.  The weeks stretching ahead of him, from now until Tokyo, felt longer than the eight months he’d spent in Australia.

He often replayed his favorite memories behind his eyelids—like Haru snuggled into his arms and using him for a pillow.

_“Haru, we have to get up.”  Rin murmured the words, half-serious, as he drew his lover closer, inhaling Haru’s familiar scent._

_There was a brief pause…  “No.”  An arm snuck around Rin’s torso._

_“We promised the others…”_

_“No.”  Haru tucked his head beneath Rin’s chin, hair silky against Rin’s skin.  “Sleepy.”_

_Rin smiled, tightening his arms and letting their combined warmth drag him under.  “Well, I didn’t plan on moving anyway…”_

The daydreams, as sweet as they were, were a poor substitute for the real thing.  Rin sighed, finally opening his eyes as he shifted beneath the soft weight on his chest.

“This just isn’t doing it for me, Steve.”

Green eyes stared back at him, the patchwork white and black cat folded into a loaf on Rin’s sternum, the tip of a short black tail curling and uncurling slowly, with irritation.  He’d been the object of scrutiny for a while, probably, the cat’s silent, judgmental gaze like, _The feeling is mutual, Human.  Now get out of my spot._

Rin folded the futon and blankets while Steve waited on the edge of the tatami.  The second he had everything put away, the cat plodded over to the sunny spot Rin had vacated and started grooming, giving him the butt-end.  Rin rolled his eyes and headed into the bathroom to wash up.  It was still early, his parents’ and Gou’s bedroom doors closed at the end of the hallway.  He’d landed just after midnight at Hiroshima airport.  Post-flight activities had taken until nearly 1am; rather than head back to the dorms he’d opted to crash at his parents’ apartment in Kure, since—inevitably—he’d be up with the sunrise, regardless of when he’d gone to bed.

Slightly more awake, Rin traded his tank top for a T-shirt and followed the scent of fresh coffee into the kitchen.  His dad was up already, wearing a beige apron over his clothes as he sliced fresh fruit for breakfast.  There was a package of bagels on the counter, alongside a carton of eggs and slices of ham wrapped in paper, waiting for the frying pan.

“Ohayou,” Rin murmured, gaze lasering in on the coffee pot in the corner.

“Morning, Rin!”  Toraichi glanced up from his cutting board with a smile.  “Coffee?”  Rin’s dad moved to set the knife down and serve him, but Rin waved him off.

“Thanks, I got it.”  He tried a few cupboards before finding the mugs and poured himself half a cupful from the pot.  The bold aroma filled his nostrils as he sipped the hot, bitter brew.  Rin never intended to get hooked on the stuff, but late nights in flight school and early morning briefings in Sydney made him a habitual partaker and the taste grew on him over time.  Still, he was usually able to get away with only having a little.  “Can I give you a hand?”

“Sure.”  Rin’s dad nodded at the counter.  “If you want to slice and toast the bagels.  How was your flight?”

“Good.  Low key.”  Rin washed up and grabbed another cutting board, setting to work beside his dad in the narrow kitchen.  “I never mind the routine night flights.”  The flight deck was calm and quiet, with the glow from their instruments plenty to see by, gliding through the inky night sky while the city lights spread out beneath them.  Even the controllers’ voices sounded more soothing over the radio.  Last night especially, the peaceful flight from Niigata reminded him of being with Haru—when they were just together, without needing words, without worry or anxiety or stress.  Maybe that explained why he looked forward to the off-hours flights whenever they showed up on his schedule.

“I’m surprised you can stay up.”

“Well.”  Rin gestured with his coffee cup, to which his father smiled.  After another sip, he grabbed the bread knife, slicing into the first soft bagel.  He slipped both halves into the toaster, adjusting the settings before turning the thing on.  That done, Rin paused, gnawing his lower lip briefly as he pulled another bagel from the package.  “So, uh…”  He cleared his throat lightly.  “I know we were thinking of going camping next weekend or the one after that…”

“You mean the idea your mom and sister vetoed because of bugs and no showers?”  Toraichi chuckled.  “We’ve been talking about the beach since then.  Think you’ll be able to get the time off?”

Rin pressed his lips, cutting carefully through the second bagel.  “I bring it up because I, uh…  I signed up for a race next weekend.”

“Really?  Where?”  Toraichi stopped mid-slice through a small piece of melon.

“Okayama.  Shibukawa beach.”

“Is that… the place we swam together that one year?”

“Yeah.”  _I was thirteen and you kicked my ass._   “We stayed at the resort right off the beach—”

“That would be perfect!  Your mom and Gou really enjoyed that hotel.  We could cheer you on and—”  Rin’s dad broke off with a laugh.  “That is, supposing you don’t mind dragging the family along.  I’m sure you’d rather spend time with Haruka without your parents nearby.”

Rin fought a blush.  “Haru’s not swimming this one.”  He’d conveniently not mentioned it to Haru, either.  “But…”  Rin exhaled lightly.  “If I do well enough, I could qualify for the race in Tokyo next month…”

“You mean the championships?”

Rin glanced over, puzzled.  “How do you know about that?”

“Ha!  Your dad’s not completely out of touch, you know.”  Toraichi grinned.  “Plus, your sister’s been talking about it for a month.  Needing to go for some internet thing—I don’t know.  But this is great!  I’ll buy tickets.  We’ll be there for sure.”

“Eh…”  Rin found a plate as the toaster beeped, rescuing the hot slices of bagel from the heat.  “I have to make it first.”

“Pff.  Don’t be modest.  Especially when you’re motivated.”

 _I want this really bad, though._   He was sure he could do it, but too much bravado could jinx anything, right?

His dad got out a bowl, piling the jewel-toned cuts of fruit inside.  “To be honest, Rin, hearing you talk about swimming again is a relief.”

“Huh?”  Rin paused, hovering over the toaster with the second bagel in hand.

Toraichi was smiling.  “You’re so driven—ambitious—and focused, and that’s great, you know?  But seeing you let loose a little and enjoy the things you love?  That’s important too.  Life gets kind of unbalanced and one-sided otherwise.”

“Dad…”

“Gotta cherish the moments, yeah?  Some opportunities you might only get once.”

A lump formed in Rin’s throat as he popped the bagel halves into the toaster.  _Yeah, because you never know when a goodbye might be the last one.  …Or if the phone’s ringing because someone’s calling to say—_   The reason he _had_ to make the SRT was the same reason he _needed_ to swim with Haru in Tokyo.  Why was it so hard to do everything?

“Ahh, sorry.”  Toraichi laughed lightly.  “Not meaning to get all sappy or something.”

Rin wordlessly slid his arms around his dad, resting his forehead against his father’s shoulder.  “Love you, Dad.”

“I love you too, Son.”  Toraichi hugged him back.  “So much.” 

His father’s embrace could still make him feel small and young and protected somehow, even though Rin was all grown up.  It came with a quiet assurance and confidence; Rin knew without doubting that he’d find his way.

-x-

Miyako and Gou came to the breakfast table in their pajamas, Steve padding over to wind between their ankles and purr.

“Honey, this looks delicious!”  Rin’s mom sank into the chair that Toraichi got for her, Rin averting his eyes as his parents kissed (though he secretly thought it was cute).

“I had plenty of help,” Toraichi said, serving her a cup of coffee before taking his seat.  “It’s obvious, right?  Nothing’s burnt.”

Miyako wrapped both hands around her mug, waves of ruby hair falling over her right shoulder.  “Well, I wasn’t going to say anything.”  She winked at Rin from across the table.

Rin smiled, Gou muffling a giggle beside him.

“Itadakimasu—”

The usual lively chatter ensued as dishes were passed around.  The simple domesticity of the meal was a warm comfort, filling Rin with nostalgia for his childhood…and with longing for the future life he wanted. 

Before digging in, he snuck a picture of his plate, composing a quick text under the table to accompany the photo.

_[Haru, when I’m at your place in Tokyo, let’s cook breakfast together.  Show me how to make saba the way you like it.]_

He hit send and picked up his fork…

The phone buzzed against his leg, Rin glancing down at the screen.

_[Rin, marry me.  I’m not even kidding.]_

Rin fought a grin, beaming inside.  Stabbing a bit of apple, he chewed and composed a reply, one-handed.  _[That’s all it takes, huh?]_

_[Yeah.  Because it’s you.]_

The food stuck in his throat as he melted into mush, face heating.  _No, really, how many times am I going to fall in love with you?_   Rin grabbed his water glass, smiling as he drank.  _Every day until forever, hopefully._

* * *

Sunday, August 22nd, 2010

* * *

The sea lapping gently at Rin’s calves was blue like Haru’s eyes and sparkled in the sunlight.  In the distance, beyond the orange buoys and race officials on jet skis, the island of Kyushu stretched across the horizon.  The breeze was light, two to three knots at most, sending small ripples across the water.  Rin and Sousuke were shoulder to shoulder in their leg skins, swim caps, and goggles, in the clump of fifty swimmers waiting for the signal.  He didn’t mind a shore start—not with years of racing Haru from the sand into the waves—in fact, he might even prefer it, and being towards the back of the group wouldn’t matter once they all hit the water.

After two solid days of training, he knew the course and he knew the competition.  There were a handful of others to watch out for, but no one was going to get between him and swimming with Haru in Tokyo.  That much had been decided as soon as he got up this morning, long before they squeezed into their leg skins and got their race numbers and greased up on shore… 

 _[Haru, next month—I’m gonna do more than just cheer for you.]_   He’d taken the picture with Sousuke after all their prep was complete—the 1km course in the background—and sent it minutes ago, leaving his phone in Gou’s safekeeping (locked, of course).

Rin was ready—eager—and having Sousuke at his side was even better.  As the race officials completed their final checks, Sousuke lifted a fist, confidence in his gaze and in his smile.

Rin grinned back, bumping their knuckles together.

“Rin!!  Sousuke-kun!!”  “Onii-chan!!  Sousuke!!”  Even with a crowd on the beach, Rin’s dad and sister were the loudest of all.

To the right of the cluster of swimmers, the starter raised the air horn—

Rin leaned in, nerves prickling with adrenaline as he balanced on the balls of his feet, toes sinking into the sand—

The horn sounded, the racers running—sloshing—through the water until it was deep enough to dive.  Rin slid into the temperate, foaming sea.  Dodging elbows and ankles, he and Sousuke aimed for open water.

-x-

The laps were clockwise—first paralleling the beach before turning out for a short stint.  The long straightaway was offshore; that was where Rin found rhythm, hands slicing into the sea, carefully sighting each buoy to stay on track. 

Five laps went by quickly; each time he passed the start and swam down the beach, he could hear his family cheering from the sand.  Rin and Sousuke were up with the lead group.  A guy named Asato was second from the front, keeping pace behind the (current) first place swimmer.  Rin had plenty left to give, it was only a matter of when to kick it up.  According to Sousuke, Asato was a veteran to open water competitions and regularly won super long 25k races.  While the younger, hot shot swimmers sprinted early and burned out, falling behind, Rin and Sousuke hung back with Asato, waiting...  Three others had the same idea.

The final turn was up ahead, marked by another floating orange buoy, when Asato made his move, sailing away from the rest of them.  Rin accelerated smoothly into a sprint, just behind Sousuke, giving chase…  They got bunched up at the buoy, Rin losing a bit of ground as one of the other swimmers collided with him, an elbow skimming his cheek as he got a mouthful of seawater trying to breathe.  He spat saltwater, got air, and fought his way back to the front.

 _I’ve had worse._   Academy instructors tried to make their drills as realistic as possible—that included simulating uncooperative, panicked victims in the water.  The bruises he sometimes had after those sessions were nothing compared to a few elbow jabs or kicks during a race.  …Though the rescue gear did help soften the blows on occasion.

The last straightaway—just under 200m—angled them towards the beach, towards the red archway goal line back from the water’s edge.  Asato and three others were ahead, Rin and Sousuke just behind.  They closed the gap, the cheering and shouts from the spectators on shore getting louder the closer they got.  Halfway to the finish, Rin went all out, just like he would if Haru was beside him, the two of them in adjacent lanes, racing like no one else was in the water but them, like the only spots on the scoreboard were one and two. 

He swam until the water was too shallow, then launched himself up on legs that were screaming, kicking up water and sand as he ran up the beach—  One guy stumbled coming out of the water and fell back, but three were up ahead, between Rin and the finish line that meant Tokyo with Haru.

Not for long.  He ran past the third guy, then the second, crossing the shadow of the archway just behind Asato.  Only _then_ did he finally let up, gasping for breath and slowing to a careful walk as a stitch formed in his side.

“Rin!!”  “Onii-chan!!”  _“Rin!!!”_   His family was just outside the finish area, jumping around and waving signs in their cheesy _Team Shark_ T-shirts, with bandanas tied across their foreheads and sharks painted on their cheeks.  They were making such a spectacle that half of the video cameras turned their way.  His dad was the loudest of all.

…Just like when Rin was in high school.

He pulled off his cap and goggles, resting a hand on his hip as he gingerly walked off the pain.  _Second place_.  The taste of saltwater on his lips was victory, the droplets still running down his face as he grinned.  _Haru, we can swim together in Tokyo_.

“Rin—”

He turned and Sousuke was there, smiling and breathing hard. 

“You did it.”

Warmth and seawater stung Rin’s eyes as he caught Sousuke in a tight hug.  In that moment, they were best friends first and rivals second.  The damp crush of arms he got in return said it all—how much this meant to Sousuke, and how much it meant to him.

Rin glanced at the other finishers as he let go.  “What, uh…?”

“Fourth, I think,” Sousuke said, gaze sparkling with mirth as he gave Rin a light shove towards his family.  “You’d better get your phone, Rin.”

Gou was waving at him.  “Onii-chan!!”  His phone was held against her ear.

Rin left the swimmers’ area to join them, immediately sucked into a group hug, his phone thrust into his hand amidst his family’s happy squealing.  The call was active and had been for a while ( _Gou, did you narrate the whole race?_ ).  Laughing, eyes burning, Rin got the device to his ear—

“Haru—”

 _“Now you’re swimming without me?”_  

Picturing the mild glare, the subtle tease in blue eyes, Rin grinned.  “Just this once.  You know why.”

There was a long exhale on the other end of the phone, Haru’s voice softening to surround him almost like an embrace.  “ _I know why_.”  In Haru’s pause, Rin could hear the smile, the uneven inhale of breath, his own emotions welling up to lodge in his throat as Haru continued in a whisper.  “ _I’m really happy, Rin_.”

That was when Rin lost it, crying into the phone within the circle of his family’s arms.  “ _Haru_ …”

-x-

It wasn’t the first podium picture he’d taken with a grin and tear stains on his face.  Probably wouldn’t be the last, either. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made one minor correction in ch3 about the Tokyo race being on a Sunday (vs. Saturday).

* * *

_Sapporo, June of 2010_

* * *

_“Coast Guard flight school…  Haruka, are you sure?”  His mother’s brow was creased, her lips thinned into a line as she looked up from the paperwork and brochures on the table and met his gaze.  Worry reflected in her gray-blue eyes below a sweep of black bangs, her hair pulled back into a ponytail.  Her summer blouse was forest green with a pattern of tiny yellow flowers._

_“Dear, of course he’s sure.”  Haru’s father adjusted his reading glasses and picked up a glossy pamphlet, giving Haru a knowing smile across the table.  “Our son didn’t just decide this on a whim and fly all the way up here.”_

_His mother sighed.  “That’s not what I mean.  It’s just…”  Her fingers curled against the tabletop, as if recoiling from the pen that lay beside the forms.  “It’s a dangerous job.  Haruka, if you’re interested in flying, why not train for the airlines or…  I don’t know… a shipping company, even?  Do you have to—”_

_(Do you have to follow him?)_

_She cut herself off before saying it, but the words were plain in her eyes.  Haru wasn’t fazed, it wasn’t anything more or less than what he’d expected._

_“This isn’t only about Rin,” Haru said.  “Part of it is.”  He didn’t have any trouble admitting that.  “But I didn’t decide to do this just to be closer to him.”  He could’ve, for sure.  After the months he’d been training and traveling, and the months Rin had been in Australia, frantic and desperate decisions could’ve been made—should’ve been, maybe.  (How many times had he looked up the cost of a plane ticket from Tokyo to Sydney?)  But Haru had taken his time, thoughtfully considering this choice.  He wasn’t afraid of what his parents would think or say.  He_ was _anxious, but it was the eager impatience of taking the next step, of challenging himself with something that would be hard and stretching and worth it._

_“I want something more than swimming.”  Over the last year, he’d been around the world.  He’d seen what it meant to be praised, to win medals, to be sponsored and adored by fans, even if he hadn’t achieved all of those things yet himself.  Maybe it should’ve been enough—to shine for a while and inspire future generations.  (Maybe with Rin, it would be enough—that was a dangerous thought.)  “I want my swimming to mean more.  And it’s not too soon to start thinking about my future—after I’m done competing.”  He had a decade, maybe?  Longer if he was fortunate and didn’t get injured or lose his edge._

_His mother’s face softened the faintest bit, her expression pained but not distraught as she looked at her husband.  Haru’s dad laid a hand over hers on top of the table, giving her fingers a squeeze._

_Haru’s parents weren’t there the day that he and Makoto went down to the docks, after the storm.  –When they saw the broken ships and the families…waiting for loved ones who never came home.  His parents didn’t know how many nightmares Makoto had about the ocean after that, how he gripped Haru’s hand until it hurt.  While the nightmares lessened over the years, the fear stayed—shining in his best friend’s eyes, every time they waded more than knee-deep into the waves.  But after they met Rin, when they went to Tottori late that Spring (after Rin left for Nagoya) and visited the Coast Guard ships and crews…that was when things started to change.  Haru watched Makoto light up when they toured the boat, as they met men and women who worked tirelessly, doing everything they could to help people and keep them safe on the water.  After that, Makoto began to smile again when they went down to the beach or swam along the shore.  That last summer, before Haru moved to Sapporo with his parents, was full of warm memories with his best friend._

_He told Makoto, of course, while he was still making up his mind._

_(“The water always feels better around you, Haru.  I’m sure that, if you decide to do this, you’ll make others feel that way too.”  Makoto smiled at him with that same warmth, as if he’d been expecting Haru to bring up the topic for a while.  “All the same, I think I’ll stay on land, you know?”  Makoto gave back the pamphlet with a good-natured chuckle, his hand lingering on Haru’s reassuringly.  “I think you’ll help a lot of people, Haru.”)_

_He’d decided right then and there, honestly._

_“I’m not just doing this for me,” Haru said._

_His mother exhaled, resignation smoothing her face.  “I knew you were your father’s son from the beginning.  Early on, I stopped telling you what to do.  I can only make suggestions.”  Her smile was pained but genuine (if a bit exasperated).  “Sure, your father’s dream took us across the country, but at least he can’t be hurt—or worse—working for a company that makes chocolates!”_

_“I promise I’ll be careful.”_

_“We know you will, Son.”  His father uncapped the pen, pulling the forms close.  “We’re proud that you’ve chosen to do this.  And that you invited us to be part of it.  Two weeks from now and you could’ve done this on your own.”_

_Waiting until he was twenty would’ve been easier and would have saved him the airfare.  But, he wanted to have this conversation.  …Not to mention sparing himself from his mother’s reaction had he informed her after the fact._

_As Haru’s father signed the papers, his mom pursed her lips.  “Darling.”_

_His dad sighed.  “And you’re always free to change your mind.  We won’t love you any less if you do.”  Finished, he slid the forms and pen in front of Haru’s mom._

_She looked mollified, but still seemed to gather herself before she picked up the pen and signed her consent alongside her husband’s._

_Warmth gathered in Haru’s eyes.  Smiling, he bowed his head.  “Thanks, Dad, Mom.”_

* * *

Wednesday, September 15th, 2010

* * *

The sky was dusky orange meeting indigo twilight as Haru and Makoto got off the monorail at Seibijo Station, adjacent to the General Aviation ramp at Haneda airport.  The evening was temperate and breezy, with winds out of the southeast.  It was finally pleasant after the sun and humidity of the day, comfortable for T-shirts and light trousers.  Leaving the station on foot, they headed north alongside the monorail tracks, passing small warehouses with loading docks lined with trucks.  It was anything but quiet with commercial jets landing and taxiing on the adjacent airfield.

Their destination was on the other side of a large industrial building—a long chain-link fence with lines of barbed wire on top, grass and small vines winding through the metal.  Behind the fence, sunset bathed the white and blue Japan Coast Guard SRT hangar and the aircraft inside—a Bombardier Dash 8-Q300 turboprop and three Super Puma helis.  There was a vacant spot on the right side of the hangar that would just fit a Gulfstream V…and the ground crew in orange reflective gear was standing in front on the ramp with the tug, waiting.

With a hand against the fence, Haru sucked in a breath, his heartrate speeding up a tick.  _Next Friday_ , he’d start his aircrew training in Miyagi.  It would only be on a Cessna 172 and the smaller Bell helicopters at first, but the curriculum was designed to work him up to multi-engine craft and the larger helis at a steady pace; by the end, he’d be flying the same jets and Search-and-Rescue helicopters that Rin routinely flew now.  He couldn’t wait to begin—to catch up—to hopefully one day fly together.  _You know I can’t stand you beating me—whether in the water or in the sky_.  Haru smiled to himself, reaching into the pocket of his trousers for the earplugs he’d brought.

“You came prepared,” Makoto said, taking the packet Haru offered him.  “Thanks.”

“It’s important to protect your hearing,” Haru murmured, working a set of foam plugs into his ears.  He waited until Makoto was done too…  “Come on.”  Haru grabbed Makoto’s hand, the two of them heading north along the fence until they were past the hangar, a break in the buildings affording them a broader view of the General Aviation ramp and Haneda’s 04-22 runway. 

The wind sifted through their hair and rippled across their clothing as they waited against the fence, the runway and taxi lights glowing on the airfield as the sun continued to drop at their backs.  With winds predominantly from the south, planes were landing on runway 22 (and the offshore runway 23), with departures taking Haneda’s parallel south-facing runways 16L and 16R. 

With each bright flare of landing lights in the sky, Haru held his breath a little, trying to pick out the smaller Gulfstream V from the larger commercial single- and twin-aisle planes on final approach.  There was a steady flow of incoming traffic and this wasn’t even Haneda’s busy time for arrivals.

When a pinprick of light appeared in the northeast sky and stayed tiny, Haru clutched the links of the fence, his heart racing.  “That’s him.”

“Huh?”  Makoto squinted into the distance.  “You can tell, Haru?”

“I can tell.”

The small craft swept in, aimed slightly into the crosswind, dwarfed by the large jets on the adjacent taxiways.  Within seconds, the white and blue Gulfstream touched down on runway 22 and disappeared behind a building.

 _Rin._   Haru’s lips formed the name without sound, the ache of their recent separation subsiding, his eagerness growing instead, fluttering in his chest and in his heart.  It floored him again, leaving his knees weak, to think that Rin had done this—trained and qualified so that they could swim together this weekend.  Maybe the chase wasn’t as one-sided as he’d always thought.  Maybe they were aiming for _each other_ , teasing and challenging and inviting, in this race of waves and skies.

The engine noise grew steadily louder, preceding the Gulfstream as it reappeared on the General Aviation ramp, taxiing to the JCG hangar.  The dying sunlight gleamed along the plane’s fuselage as it angled towards them, taxi lights sweeping across the fence.  Haru shielded his eyes from the glare—

The right-most taxi light flicked off and on twice, in greeting.  Haru caught a glimpse of Rin—focused and concentrating in the left seat—while Sousuke waved at them through the right-side flight deck windows, the plane turning to parallel the fence, nose gear following the yellow stripe on the concrete.

Haru tried in vain to calm his anxious heart as he and Makoto walked back to the JCG hangar, the hissing whine of the Gulfstream’s engines muffled but not entirely dissipated by his earplugs.  Rin slowed the plane to a gradual stop, directed by the marshaller’s glowing batons.  The noise cut dramatically as the engines shutdown, the ground crew moving in to pin the gear and connect the tug.

 _—_ And Rin was leaning across to wave through the flight deck windows, nearly in Sousuke’s lap, probably—with a huge, boyish grin on his face and his hand almost pressed against the glass.

The warm glow spread through Haru’s chest as he smiled and waved back—a little less vigorously, maybe.  It was what he could manage as his eyes pricked with moisture, now that it would be minutes— _minutes—_ until they’d be together again.

Rin eventually settled back into his seat, Sousuke looking mildly exasperated as the ground crew sounded the horn and began to move the plane into the hangar, wing-walkers keeping watch for any obstacles.  Soon, the Gulfstream was nestled in among the other aircraft, shadowed by the roof of the hangar.

“It’s kinda hard to see now,” Makoto said.  “Should we wait out front?”

“Mn.”  Haru reluctantly pried his fingers from the links in the fence.  “Yeah, I guess.”  He could vaguely see people moving around the plane, but—other than the ground crew—everyone was heading inside the building.

They removed their earplugs and made their way around—backtracking through the industrial area to get to the front of the Japan Coast Guard building.  The roar of jet engines got loud again, with nothing but vast stretches of concrete between them and Haneda’s taxiways and runways.  Haru waited with Makoto off to the side, near the corner of the building, so as not to be too conspicuous.  His phone buzzed in his pocket, the text from Rin.

_[Post-flight stuff.  Should just be a couple minutes.]_

_[OK,]_ he texted back.

Makoto nodded as Haru showed him the exchange.  They settled in, leaning against the wall.

“Next time, I’ll be picking up all three of you here, maybe,” Makoto said, smiling.

Haru was already running on raw emotions, so Makoto’s words, as conversational as they were, made a lump form in his throat.  —Because Makoto had always been there for him, steady and unshakeable, through all of the ups and downs, despite any distance between them.  Haru’s choice was taking him away again, just like when he was twelve, following his parents to Hokkaido.  It wouldn’t be forever.  _Still_.

Haru reached for his best friend’s hand and gripped hard.  “Makoto.”

“Huh?”  Makoto blinked.

There was so much he wished he could say, but putting his feelings into words had always been hit or miss for him.  “Thanks for…coming with me.”  It was hardly enough, but Makoto’s face softened as if he knew it all anyway.

“Yeah, Haru.”  Makoto squeezed back.

Several more planes landed on runway 22 as they waited.  The passengers from Rin and Sousuke’s flight—a dozen or so JCG officers and staff members—left the building first with small pieces of luggage, heading for waiting cars or walking towards the monorail station.  Night fell fully, blanketing them and the airport in dusky blue, the rotating beacon at Haneda tower flashing white…green…white at a steady cadence.

The next time the doors opened, Haru straightened away from the wall…

Rin and Sousuke came out in street clothes, carrying duffle bags.  Rin wasn’t wearing the coast guard hat tonight, his hair longer than it had been in Yonago, brushing the tops of his ears.  They scanned the area for a second at most before finding them; Haru couldn’t breathe or even move as quick steps brought Rin to him.

Rin tackled him around the corner, out of view of the front windows, arms circling his shoulders tightly. 

 _Rin._   Haru’s lungs emptied in a rush as he buried his face in Rin’s hair, inhaling Rin’s familiar scent.  He was almost shaking as he looped his arms around Rin’s waist, holding the one he loved like he’d never let go.  It was dark enough in the shadow of the building—that’s what he told himself as they drew back a few centimeters at most, their eyes meeting—

Determining who kissed who first would’ve been a waste of time.  Rin’s lips were velvet soft against his, Haru melting into the kiss and dragging Rin closer still.  Rin’s breath was minty like he’d just brushed his teeth, with a faint trace of coffee underneath.  _I could kiss you forever._ Honestly, he kind of felt like trying—

“Oh.”  Makoto gave a quiet, awkward laugh.

“No courtesy warning, huh?”  Sousuke’s voice was warm with mirth.

Makoto cleared his throat.  “So, uh…  How’s the training going?  10k’s double the previous races…”

“It’s been good,” Sousuke said.  “The hardest part is juggling our flight schedule on top of training and trying to taper.”

They continued to chat as Haru and Rin eventually (reluctantly) parted. 

Haru leaned his forehead against Rin’s, a smile curving lips that still tingled from their kiss.  “Hey,” he whispered, that one word meaning everything— _I missed you, I love you, I’m so glad you’re here._

Rin’s smile broadened, his hands coming to rest on top of Haru’s shoulders.  “Hey,” he murmured back.

-x-

From Haneda to Hakusan station took nearly an hour and three trains—monorail, JR train, and subway.  Heading up to street level in the busy, university district, they split off in separate directions—Makoto and Sousuke going north to Makoto’s place, Haru and Rin turning west.

“Goodnight, you guys.  See you tomorrow.”  Makoto waved.

“Ah.”  Haru and Rin waved back.

It was a short walk from the station to Haru’s apartment building.  They climbed the staircase to the third floor (of four), Haru taking out his keys in front of the last door on the west side of the building.

“Did you eat dinner?” he asked, unlocking the door and heading into the genkan.  He held the door for Rin while toeing off his shoes.

“Yeah, before I left.”  Rin came inside.

Haru closed the door, hesitating as he reached for the light switch.  The curtains were open, the glow from the city spilling into the main room through the windows.  He left the lights off.

Rin took off his shoes, dropping his duffle bag in the entryway as he scanned the 1DK space for all of three seconds before coming back.

Haru studied scarlet eyes, trying to gauge fatigue or lack thereof.  He had his answer in the warm embrace that followed, in the firm press of lips as Rin pulled him close…  “Bath, and an early bedtime?”

“Mm, lead the way,” Rin murmured between kisses, his hands already slipping beneath Haru’s T-shirt.

-x-

They curled up in Haru’s bed, naked and thoroughly sated, their hair still damp from the water.  Rin was out almost immediately, sharing Haru’s pillow, one arm tucked around Haru’s torso.  His soft, shallow breaths hit Haru’s cheek.  A silvery glow from the window bathed Rin’s features, Haru committing every line of light and shadow to memory, the way shards of ruby hair lay against Rin’s face, the curve of Rin’s jaw, the slightly parted lips…  He may have left art school, but he had a sketchbook full of Rin.  It was only a poor substitute in the end, but he needed something to get him through the weeks and months of separation, until they could have a life together.  He hadn’t stopped thinking about it since Rin mentioned it in Yonago.

_Even if we have to be apart, we can come home to each other._

Haru wanted that dream, wanted _this_ , more than anything.  From now until Sunday night, he would soak himself in Rin, treasuring every moment, living their future a day at a time until it actually happened. 

“Love you,” Haru whispered, a smile on his lips as he turned beneath Rin’s arm and settled in, Rin’s chest warm against his back.

Rin’s reply was an unintelligible murmur, lips ghosting across the nape of Haru’s neck, Rin’s hand clutching his.

* * *

Thursday, September 16th, 2010

* * *

They were awake early the next morning, though it took them a while to actually get out of bed…  After a quick rinse-off next to the ofuro, Haru pulled on a pair of blue square legs and a T-shirt.  He left Rin drying off and dressing, crossing the main room barefoot.  In the kitchen, he donned an apron and gathered ingredients for breakfast from the fridge.  He had everything assembled on the counter by the time Rin came in.

“Nope.”  Rin’s fingers snagged into the strings of his apron, slipping the knot free.  “I’m cooking.  You can tell me what to do.”

“Bossy as usual,” Haru muttered, letting Rin strip the apron off him.  He had to admit the view was good—Rin in his apron, wearing just a tank top and red square legs otherwise. 

Rin grinned, leaning in to press a kiss to the corner of Haru’s mouth as he tied the apron strings behind him.  “I never hear you complaining.”

 _Never_.  Haru smiled.

“You got tea or something?” Rin asked, passing him for the fridge.

Haru opened the cupboard for a pair of glasses.  “There’s green tea and barley tea in the door.”

“Haru, did you…?”  Rin’s voice came out soft.

Haru turned, finding Rin’s gaze locked on the packages of fresh ham and eggs he’d bought at the store yesterday.  “So you can show me the way you like it, Rin.  For breakfast tomorrow.”

Rin closed the fridge door slowly, not grabbing either bottle of iced tea.  Haru only caught a glimpse of the moisture in Rin’s eyes before Rin tackled him with a hug, his back bumping the edge of the countertop.

With a happy sigh, Haru wrapped Rin up, inhaling Rin’s scent and the delicate traces of sakura body wash they’d used earlier.  He kissed Rin’s jaw, Rin’s ear, nuzzling in.

Rin inhaled a shaky breath, arms tightening around him.  “You said you weren’t kidding, that time.”

Haru went still, his heart suddenly thudding in his chest.  Of course he hadn’t forgotten, but neither of them had said a word about his silly proposal over text.  That wasn’t the right or romantic way to do it, after all.  And yet…  “I wouldn’t kid about that,” he whispered.

Rin’s fingers curled into his T-shirt, his face pressed into his hair, lips moving against Haru’s ear.  “Then…someday…”

Haru sucked air, forgetting how to breathe—

“…if we can figure it out…you want to?”

Heat burned Haru’s eyes, his throat closing hot and tight.  There was a lot behind that if, legal realities being what they were.  But—  “ _I want to._ ”

Rin sagged against him, exhaling hard, his tears wetting Haru’s hair.

_I want everything with you, Rin._

He needed to see Rin’s face, pulling back until he met gleaming eyes, catching Rin’s damp cheeks between his palms.  “We’ll figure it out.  _Together._ ”

As Rin’s face crumpled, Haru’s vision blurred too.  They melted together in kisses and nose bumps and hands pulling each other closer.  Haru’s heart soared.  He was matching Rin’s grin, giddy with warmth and love, the same reflected back to him in Rin’s eyes.

“Wanna…get rings and make it official?” he asked.

“ _Fuck_ yeah.  Let’s go today.”

Haru laughed, hugging his fiancé, too happy for words.

-x-

“…You’re sure this is OK, Haru?”  Rin gnawed his lower lip, looking like a self-conscious kid as they headed through the pedestrian gate in front of the Japan Institute of Sports Sciences and Ajinomoto National Training Center.

To be fair, there were athletes in Team Japan warmups at every turn.  Haru purposely hadn’t worn his today, preferring his black set with a blue stripe across the chest.  “It’s fine, Rin.  My coach made sure everything was set up.”

Rin still looked uncomfortable, hands shoved into the pockets of his black and red warmups.  –That would change once they got in the water, probably.

The glass front of the JISS building reflected overcast skies as they went inside and headed to reception. 

Haru placed his Team Japan credentials on the counter.  “Coach Ishimoto arranged for a guest pass for Matsuoka Rin.”

“Yes, I have it right here.”  The receptionist smiled, placing a pen and small form on the counter in front of them.  “Matsuoka-kun, this is for you to fill out, and I’ll need your ID, please.”

“Ah.”  Rin’s cheeks were pink—flushed with the first stirrings of excitement—as he took out his wallet and placed his ID card into the waiting tray.

With his guest credentials clipped to his warmup jacket, Rin perked up instantly, looking around at everything with awe in his eyes and a breathless rush to his voice as he asked one hushed question after another en route to the locker room.  It was like they were sixth-graders again—when Rin was boundlessly eager about everything, chattering on and on about the future without the restraint that came with pretending to be mature adults.

 _I used to want to be an Olympic swimmer when I grew up_ , Rin told him once, that winter, days before their sixth-grade relay.  _My dad and I still watch the National Championships together, every year.  It was his dream, too._ They were curled up in Rin’s bed, Coast Guard posters outnumbering the swimming posters on the walls.  Rin’s smile turned wistful as he gazed up at the ceiling.  _After he almost died, though, I realized there was a lot more out there than just swimming.  So I traded that dream for a new one.  I’m gonna save people, Nanase.  Just like the Coast Guard did for my dad._

_…You can’t do both?_

Rin’s wordless exhale was the extent of his answer that night.

The occasional open water race was something, but it wasn’t the Olympics.  Haru wouldn’t broach the subject now—it was Rin’s choice to make and he wouldn’t get in the way of the future Rin wanted.  But he knew Rin’s Olympic dream hadn’t really been replaced, just buried.  Even now, walking the halls of the JISS building, it was there—sparkling in scarlet eyes.  All Haru could do was wait…and hope that Rin would figure it out.

-x-

After changing in the locker room, they headed out to the main 50m pool. 

“We’ll check in with Coach Ishimoto here,” Haru said, leading the way through double doors into the warm natatorium.  “They’ve got the synchro pool next door set up with the buoys.”

“Sounds good,” Rin said, back to his eager self as he stretched his yellow swim cap over his hair.

Haru smiled and followed suit.  The familiar sights and sounds of the training pool were amplified with Rin by his side.  He was more excited than usual, the taste of chlorine on the air waking a fresh thrill inside him.  Three days of training together, followed by Sunday’s race…he wished it could last forever.

“Nanase-kun.”  Ozawa found him first, coming over in a blue one-piece suit, wet from the pool.  She propped her goggles on her forehead, giving him a knowing smile.  “Is this him?”

“A-ah.”  Haru blushed, ignoring the quirked brow Rin aimed his way.  “Rin, this is—”

“Ozawa Yumiko,” Ozawa said, extending her hand.  “I hear you swim a killer fly, Matsuoka-kun.”

Rin dipped his head, shaking her hand.  “Nowhere near as good as you, Ozawa-san.  You were slaying in Rome.”

“Ha!  You don’t need to be modest.  Nanase goes on and on about you.”

Another look came Haru’s way, which he also ignored.

“How about a race, Matsuoka?  Ishimoto-sensei isn’t here yet.”  Ozawa smiled, winking at Haru.  “Let me judge for myself, hm?”

“Ah…”  Rin glanced at him, as if to make sure it was OK.

Haru nodded. 

“You too, Nanase.”

“Nn…”  _Just so you can all watch me lose._   “Fine.”

They headed for the blocks, claiming lanes one, two, and three.  Rin was eyeing him as he climbed onto the lane one block, settling his goggles into place.

“What?”

Rin smirked.  “I’m trying to remember the last time I saw you swim fly.  High school, right?  It was Nagisa’s idea.”

Haru snorted.  “Focus on your own swimming.  Otherwise, Ozawa-senpai’s gonna cream us both.”

Rin’s smirk became a grin.  He snapped the strap of his goggles, bending to grasp the block. 

“Leaving on the top,” Ozawa said from lane three.  “ _Ready_ —”

-x-

At the end of 100m, Haru was the last to hit the wall.  He popped up, breathing hard and shaking the water from his face.  He didn’t mean to eavesdrop on the conversation happening in the next two lanes…(well, he kind of did).

“You’re good.”

“I’m rusty.”

“I could tell.”  Ozawa laughed.  “Even so.  Brush up and come swim with us next April.  We need more flyers on the team.  Right, Maekawa-sensei?”

Haru’s pool swimming coach was behind the blocks in her Team Japan warmups, whistle around her neck and stopwatch in hand.  “We definitely do,” she said, marking something on her clipboard.

Rin flushed red in lane two.  “Coach Maekawa.  I, uh…  I watched you swim in Sydney and Athens…individual events and the medley…”

Maekawa smiled, leaning down to shake Rin’s hand.  “So you can trust I know what I’m talking about.”  She winked at Haru.  “You weren’t kidding, Nanase.”

Haru ducked into the water up to his nose, trying without success to stop the heat from rising in his cheeks.  _I don’t talk about Rin_ that _much…_

Rin gave him another curious, bemused look.

“Mind if I give you just two pointers, Matsuoka-kun?” Maekawa asked.

“Oh.  Please,” Rin said.

“I’m gonna finish my warm ups,” Haru murmured, slipping back into the water at Rin’s nod.  He dolphin-kicked and came up swimming free, trying to keep his heart in check, not daring to hope that Rin might change his mind about April.  Except…gliding under the overhead lights, with the sounds of the National Team training around him, _with Rin in the next lane_ , he couldn’t help but hope a little.

-x-

They spent hours in the synchro pool, swimming in a square around four inflatable orange buoys, working with Haru’s open water coach, Ishimoto.  Sousuke, Mikoshiba, and Takara joined them; other members of Team Japan helping them practice with the feeding poles at regular intervals during their 10k set. 

Haru was pleasantly exhausted afterwards, fantasizing about food and a nap with Rin.  He only made it to the edge of the pool, lying on the tile floor with his feet still in the water as he slowly caught his breath.  There was a splash, water droplets falling on him as Rin climbed out…only to flop down on his back at Haru’s side.  They traded smiles, too breathless to speak, tangling their fingers together for a brief squeeze.

A shadow fell over them. “Food, you two.  Let’s go.”  Takara waved them up, Sousuke and Mikoshiba trailing her as they headed for the locker rooms.

Haru grunted, rolling onto his stomach and pushing himself up, despite aching muscles.  He reached down for Rin.

“Na, Haru.”  Rin gripped his hand, letting Haru help him up.  There was a pink flush in his cheeks that had nothing to do with their swimming.  “After lunch, um…?”

“Yeah,” Haru said, a happy warmth gathering in his face.  “I know a place.”

For lunch, they went to the Sakura Dining hall in the National Training Center building next door.  Rin and Sousuke lingered by the entrance where all of the daily offerings were on display, accompanied by signage detailing the nutritional content in each dish.

“You guys are so spoiled,” Sousuke muttered. 

“No kidding.”  Rin snorted.

Haru shrugged, Takara and Mikoshiba leaving them to head inside.  “They want us to focus on swimming.”

“ _Tch_.”  Rin made the same face as in Yonago, while they greased up for the 5k.

Haru smiled, bemused, as he grabbed trays for the three of them.  “The chicken’s good here, Rin.”

-x-

Full, but not too full, they wandered out into a humid, misty afternoon. 

“We’re gonna head down to Daiba,” Mikoshiba said as the five of them walked towards the station.  “Check out the venue, hang out, maybe catch a movie.  You guys wanna come?”  _We_ , in this case, meant Mikoshiba, Takara, and Sousuke. 

Haru usually went along with the others, unless he wanted more swimming time.  Today, though…  He glanced at Rin, the blush he found a silent assurance that Rin hadn’t changed his mind either.  “We have plans.  …But we’ll still meet you for dinner.  Makoto’s coming too.”

“Sounds good!”  Mikoshiba grinned.  “We’ll make sure to get a big enough table.”  There was a buzzing sound, Mikoshiba fishing his phone out of his warmup pants.  His face lit up instantly, cheeks turning as red as his red-orange hair.  “Hey, Takara-kun, let’s take some pics at the beach.”

Takara flicked black hair over her shoulder, wearing white and lavender warmups.  “What muscle group does she want now?”

“She says I can pick.”

“I think it’s time you go for the glutes, honey.”

Rin made an odd, strangled noise at Haru’s side, though Mikoshiba and Takara continued, oblivious.

“Ah haha…  I don’t know.  We’re not even on a first name basis, yet.  I think it’s too soon.”

“Maybe…deltoids?” Sousuke said, walking beside Takara.

“That’s an excellent idea, Yamazaki-kun!  My traps can be in the picture, too!”

Rin gave Sousuke a grateful look, Haru fighting a smile as they walked on.

-x-

Haru and Rin changed trains at Kasuga Station, leaving their friends onboard with a wave.  They headed out to Ueno, Haru leading the way east past apartment buildings and businesses to a small shop he’d visited before. 

“Megumi-senpai’s from my art school,” Haru said, as they paused in front of the store’s windows.  Through the glass, two curved display cases of jewelry were visible with Haru’s former classmate at the back of the room.  “She helped me pick out a present for my mom before.  She was good with my budget, too.”

Rin smiled, almost wincing.  “This is the kind of thing we can pay for in installments, right?”

Haru nodded.  “I still want to keep it reasonable.”  He stepped closer, surreptitiously taking Rin’s hand.

Rin blushed crimson, but didn’t pull away.

“We’ve got enough going on without adding financial stress on top.  We can splurge on our wedding rings someday.”

Rin’s face softened.  “Yeah.”  He squeezed Haru’s hand.  “Thanks, Haru.”

Heat gathered in Haru’s cheeks.  He wanted to kiss Rin, but he definitely couldn’t risk that here or now.  Turning towards the door, he laced their fingers together.

“Oi, Haru…”

“It’s OK here, Rin,” he said, not letting go.

“Just because you were classmates doesn’t mean she knows—”

“We’re buying engagement rings.  For each other.”  Haru gave Rin a pointed glance…then relented, loosening his grasp.  “But I won’t if you don’t want to.”

Rin was dark red, lips pursed…but he shook his head, clamping down on Haru’s hand.

Haru couldn’t help but smile, the glow spreading through his chest.  Walking into the jewelry store, holding his fiancé’s hand, put him on top of the world—far, far better than any Japan Swim medal podium or National Team race.

“Irrashaimase—  Haruka-kun!”  Megumi smiled as they entered, coming to greet them in a formal black pants suit, perfectly tailored.  As her gaze flicked to Rin’s face, she stilled with a quiet gasp.  “You must be Matsuoka-kun!”  Megumi held out her hand.  “Haruka, he’s just like your portraits!”

“I—I beg your pardon?!”  Rin looked appropriately mortified, Haru feeling the heat burning all the way to the tips of his ears.

“A-ahh…”  _Maybe I should’ve warned you about that…_

“It’s great to finally meet you!  Haruka and I only overlapped for a year and a couple of classes, but I heard all about you—  Well, maybe not so much _heard_ , but through the paintings, I mean.”

As Rin shot him a glare, Haru’s palms started to sweat.

“It was…only a couple,” he said, forcing out the words.

“Right…”  Rin snorted.

Haru pressed his lips.  “Deal-breaker, Rin?”

“Of course not, you weirdo!  I mean, the pictures weren’t…?”

“ _No!_   I wouldn’t draw something like that without your permission.”

Rin scrubbed his face with one hand, muffling a groan.  “Oh _God_ , we are not having this conversation…”

Megumi smiled, clearly unfazed.  “I can give you two a minute, or…?”

Haru exhaled, taking a second to gather himself.  “Sorry, Megumi-senpai.  We’d like to look at engagement rings, please.”

Megumi pressed her palms together, beaming at them.  “Congratulations to you both!  I’d love to help you find something.  If you could tell me a little about what you’re looking for?”

Haru shrugged.  “Something sturdy would be good.”

“‘Sturdy,’ he says.”  Rin flicked his eyes skyward.  “Really romantic, Haru.”

“Nn.”  Haru frowned.

“I was thinking something understated and classic, not too flashy or bulky.  It does—” Rin glanced at him, “—need to be durable.  And within budget.”

“We’ve got a collection that would be perfect for you,” Megumi said, nodding.  “Right this way, please.”  She led them over to one of the many brightly-lit cases, with dozens of rings on display inside against a backing of white velvet.  Megumi pulled out chairs for them, then headed behind the case, unlocking it with a set of keys as they sat down.

“Silver is one of our more affordable options, but it’s a softer metal,” she said, pulling a few rings on stands from the case and setting them on a velvet-lined tray.  “Alternative metals are becoming more popular these days, especially for men.  These titanium and tungsten offerings are much stronger, while still being in the same price range.  These are all under thirty-thousand yen.”

The price was comfortable; about what he’d hoped for.  Haru glanced over, Rin meeting his gaze with a relieved smile.

That settled, Haru eyed the offerings in earnest.  “We can try them on?”

“Of course!  These will be close to your size but a little loose.  It’ll give you the idea, though, and then we’ll measure you for fit.”

Haru nodded, reaching for the ring that instantly caught his eye—polished and gleaming, simple, and only a few millimeters wide—

His hand bumped Rin’s, the two of them reaching for the same ring.  They stopped at the same time, meeting each other’s gazes, blushing and laughing awkwardly.

“You go first, Rin,” Haru said, settling back.

Rin picked up the ring, his flush deepening.  “Give me your hand, Haru.”

Haru’s eyes blew wide.  He wordlessly, breathlessly obeyed, watching Rin’s fingers shake as he slid the thin titanium band onto his ring finger, past his knuckle.

“What, uh…  What do you think?” Rin asked quietly, sitting back and looking at him hesitantly, shyly.

Haru lifted his gaze from the ring to his fiancé, his eyes filling with tears.  “It’s perfect and I love you.”  The last part wasn’t supposed to be out loud, but he ended up saying it and couldn’t take it back.

—And didn’t want to when Rin’s face lit up with that boyish smile Haru loved, as Rin blinked in an obvious attempt to restrain his own tears.  Haru’s self-consciousness faded in the same moment, as they gripped hands and smiled at each other, Megumi silently, subtly placing a tissue box within reach.

Haru didn’t bother drying his eyes just yet.  “My turn.”

Rin’s smile faded, his teeth sinking into his trembling lower lip as he held out his hand, the tears falling in thin trails as Haru removed the ring and slid it onto Rin’s finger, easing the slim band over Rin’s knuckle.  The ring gleamed against Rin’s skin, the symbol of their promise to each other shining as brilliantly as the certainty of their someday dream.  And seeing Rin _this happy_ …  Haru sniffed hard, clutching both of Rin’s hands as warm droplets rolled down his face.

“Rin?”

Rin nodded, gathering himself with a rough breath.  “Yeah,” he murmured with effort.

Haru reluctantly tore his gaze away, though he didn’t let go.  “We’d like this one,” he said, as if it wasn’t obvious.

Megumi dipped her head.  “ _Kashikomarimashita_.”  She put the other rings back in the case and took out a set of sizing rings, a form, and a pen.  “If you’d allow me to measure…”

“Ah.”  Haru reached for the tissue box first, drying his face and hands before letting Megumi try different size rings on his finger.

“How’s that, Haruka-kun?  Not too loose, not too tight?”

Haru nodded.  “It feels good.”

“You’re size seventeen,” she said, jotting a note down on her form.  “Your turn, Matsuoka-kun.”

“Hai.”  Rin returned the titanium ring to its stand on the velvet tray, grabbing a tissue.

Megumi repeated the sizing process on him.  “Size eighteen.”

“Mn.”  Haru didn’t mean to make a sound.

Rin’s eyes sparkled with amusement, Megumi winking at him.

“It’s only half a millimeter’s difference, Haruka-kun.”

He blushed.

Megumi filled out a few more items on the form.  “Matsushima-san makes each piece by hand and we don’t keep stock for rings.  If I recall correctly, you’re moving away for school soon, Haruka-kun?”

“Hai.”  Haru dipped his head.  “Next week, and Rin’s only here until Sunday.  …But I can have someone pick it up if it will take longer.”

“Let me speak with Matsushima-san.  Please wait for a moment.  Can I get you something in the meantime?  Water or tea?”

They both shook their heads.

“I’ll be right back.”  Megumi gathered the form and the tray with the ring, heading to the back of the store and through the door into the workshop.

Rin leaned into him, circling Haru’s shoulders with his arms.  “I love you.”

Haru smiled, full of warmth.  “Rin—”  He was cut off by Rin’s lips against his.  Haru blinked in surprise.  “There’s probably cameras—”

“I don’t care,” Rin murmured, kissing him again.

They composed themselves, once more holding hands as Megumi came back to sit across from them.

She placed the form and a calculator on top of the case, the tray with the ring sitting beside.  “Matsushima-san said he can have both rings ready by Saturday evening.  Will that be acceptable?”

Haru’s lungs emptied in a rush.  He bowed his head low, Rin doing the same beside him.  “That would be perfect.  Please thank Matsushima-san for us.”  _We can exchange rings before you leave; we’ll have the whole night to ourselves before the race…_

“Of course,” Megumi said, writing on the form.  “Now, have you given any thought to engraving?  There is an extra fee for the service, three thousand yen.”

Haru blinked, lifting his head.  He definitely did not have the mental energy to make a decision like that right now.  His brain felt like mush and all he wanted to do was crawl into bed with Rin as soon as they were done here.

Megumi’s gaze flicked over their faces.  “It’s also something you can decide anytime in the future.  Just bring the rings with you and we can make the arrangements.”

Haru felt Rin relax through their clasped hands.  They shared a glance, Rin looking as emotionally drained as Haru felt.

“That sounds good,” Rin said.  “Thank you.”

“You’re very welcome.”  Megumi finished filling out the form and tapped keys on the calculator.  “This will be the price per ring.”  She turned the calculator towards them—22,500.  “Will this be acceptable?”

It was still a relief to see the final number, Haru and Rin smiling at each other and reaching for their wallets.  “Hai,” Haru said.

“Would you like to pay in installments?”

“Please.”

They placed their credit cards in the payment tray, Megumi leaving them to add their information and signatures to the form while she ran their cards.

Haru filled in the left side of the form, unable to stop himself from smiling as he handed the paperwork to Rin.

“What’s that face?” Rin asked, arching a brow.

“Nothing.  It’s just…the first piece of paper with both of our names on it.”  He glanced at Rin shyly, warmth in his cheeks.  “It feels like we’re an official couple, now.”

“Haru…”  Rin’s face tightened like he was trying to hold himself together.  He succumbed to biting his lower lip, blushing as he turned away to finish writing down his information.

Megumi returned their cards, giving them each a carbon copy of the form and their credit card receipt in a small envelope.  She saw them to the door.  “Congratulations again, Haruka-kun, Matsuoka-kun,” she said, bowing from the waist.  “Arigatou gozaimashita.”

It was raining a little when they got outside, dampening their hair and the shoulders of their warmup jackets.  Haru wanted more than anything to hug Rin close, to not let go for a good, long while, but they couldn’t do that on the crowded Ueno street.

Rin had the same ‘ _I need to be alone with you’_ look in his eyes.

Haru inhaled a slow breath of the misty air.  “Let’s head back?”

“Yeah,” Rin said.

-x-

It wasn’t so much a sexual need, but they still ended up in Haru’s bed, stripped down to their square leg suits, needing skin and cuddling and one kiss after another, their fingers gliding through each other’s rain-soaked hair.

At length, they parted for air, Haru lying on his back with his eyes closed, drawing slow breaths with Rin in his arms, with Rin’s face pressed against Haru’s cheek and throat, their legs tangled beneath the blankets. 

“Na, Haru…”

“Hm?”

Rin’s arm tightened around his torso, the words coming out in a quiet, almost hesitant whisper.  “If I…  If I thought about it…”

Haru’s eyes flew open, his view the ceiling above his bed, though he didn’t really see it.  His heart thudded in his chest.  He knew what ‘it’ was without Rin having to explain— _it_ was April, Japan Swim, National Team— _everything_. 

Rin didn’t say anything else, his words fading into a dense, expectant silence, neither of them breathing.

Haru chose his reply carefully.  “You know it won’t change the way I love you,” he said.  “You know it doesn’t change the promise we made today.”  Lifting a hand to Rin’s head, Haru ran his fingers in a soft, reassuring caress through Rin’s hair.  “It’s _your_ choice, Rin.  I want you to make it for yourself.  I want you to have peace about it.  You know I love you and support you, whatever you decide.”

Rin sighed, the tension leaving his limbs within the circle of Haru’s arms, his body melting against Haru’s.  “I know.”  Rin snuggled in, closer, tighter.  Catching Haru’s hand, Rin brought it to his lips, kissing the flat part of his finger where the ring had been.  “I’ve always known, Haru.  I didn’t tell you about Shibukawa before…but this is different.  This time I want you to know.”  Rin drew a measured breath.  “That I’ll…I’ll think about it.”

Haru closed his eyes, unable to keep the tears from rising like a spring, threatening at the seams of his eyelids.

“I know that’s lame and not really an answer, but—”

“It’s OK, Rin,” Haru whispered, squeezing Rin’s hand, pulling Rin closer as the warm tears leaked free.  “It’s OK.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Brief adult/nsfw content.

* * *

Saturday, September 18th, 2010

* * *

Morning sunlight pooled across the blankets, warming their embrace as they lingered in bed.  Rin kissed a slow trail up Haru’s stomach, his fiancé still trembling beneath him, fingers finally loosening their grip on the sheets.  The pleasures echoing through Rin’s veins, the fresh memories of Haru waking him this morning, kept him from smirking too hard.  Everything that transpired since was _entirely_ Haru’s fault.  Not that Rin was complaining. 

He made it as far as Haru’s chest, his arms wrapped comfortably around Haru’s torso, listening to the rapid staccato of heartbeats—not yet calming—beneath his ear.

“ _Rin_ —”  Haru tugged at him needlessly—for that breathless utterance of his name, Rin would’ve crossed oceans.

He slid up until they were face to face, Haru’s hand cupping the back of his neck and pulling him in.  The kiss was languid and deep, contented sounds and the rustle of cotton linens filling the quiet bedroom.

When they eventually parted, breathing the same moist air, Rin arched a brow.  “Morning.”

Haru wasn’t even _trying_ to play innocent with that smile.  “Morning.”  Rin’s shoulders landed on the mattress as Haru rolled them, stretching out on top and settling there like a lazy cat.  “Let’s stay in bed today,” he murmured, pressing kisses to the stubble beneath Rin’s jawline.

“Uh-huh…”  Rin tilted his head back against the pillow, enjoying the sweet torture Haru wrought upon his skin.  “Let me just call Nagisa, my parents—and _yours_ —and tell them we’re not coming to the airport or practicing at the beach today, _because—_ ”  Rin’s face heated at the thought, just imagining that phone call.  Nagisa would assume right away if they even said they’d be late.  Their _parents_ though… 

“ _Nn_.”  Haru put more weight on him, head tucked beneath Rin’s chin, squishing him pleasantly against the bed.  “Is it too early to start planning our honeymoon?”

“Mm.  Nope,” Rin said, raking his fingers through the silk of Haru’s hair.  Their rings would be ready tonight.  He stilled for a moment, holding his breath as he gazed up at streaks of sunlight crossing the white ceiling.  “Na, Haru.”

“Hm?”

“Is it weird that I’m looking forward to our rings even more than the race tomorrow?”

“No.  I am too,” Haru said, snuggling in with a sigh.  “It’s the only precious metal I want right now.”

 _Haru_.  Emotion surged through him like a tide, Rin exhaling slowly, pulling his fiancé in close.  “Same,” he whispered.

-x-

They had time for breakfast—Haru had woken him _early_ —and weren’t rushed about pulling on their practice suits and warmups or making sure their gear bags were in order before leaving to meet Sousuke and Makoto at the train station.  The four of them wedged themselves into a packed subway car on the Mita line.  Rin and Haru shared a hand strap hanging from the ceiling, the press of the crowds forcing them well into each other’s intimate space, not so unlike this morning, other than the minor detail of there now being _clothes._

They wouldn’t have the luxury of time tomorrow, not with needing to be in Daiba before 8AM for registration and inspection.  They didn’t have time regardless, not really; Rin and Sousuke’s flight back to Hiroshima was Sunday night.

Reality was sobering as their fingers brushed, as they stood facing each other with mere centimeters between them. 

Haru’s gaze sparkled with pleasure, contentment, affection—there were _novels_ in the blue of Haru’s eyes and in the curve of lips still reddened by their kisses.  Rin could only stare, soaking it all in, soaking in Haru, as the days they had left dwindled to hours and _fuck it all_ — _why_ was he on this train bound for the heart of Tokyo instead of carrying his fiancé princess-style back to bed?

Rin exhaled hard through his nostrils, tilting his head to bring his lips close to Haru’s ear.  “Your idea was better than mine.”

“Someone was too busy being practical.”  Haru’s voice was warm with the tease, fingers curling around Rin’s in the hanging strap as the movement of the train jostled them against each other. 

“ _Tch._ ”

Beside them, Makoto had his phone out.  “Looks like all the flights are on time,” he said.

Sousuke side-eyed them, his shoulder brushing Haru’s in the crowded car.  “Not till Sunday, right?”

Rin blushed.  “Ah.”  They’d agreed to wait until after the race to make announcements to the rest of their friends and family.  As for Sousuke and Makoto though…

_“You two…look like you have news,” Makoto said, studying them for the umpteenth time across the table, the restaurant busy even on a random Thursday night._

_“Engaged or pregnant,” Sousuke murmured, sipping from his glass of iced barley tea.  “Those are the only options, really.”_

_“Oi.”  Rin’s face heated as Makoto smiled, humming in agreement.  Fortunately, Takara and Seijuurou were already several beers in, fully engrossed in something on Seijuurou’s phone and not paying attention to the conversation at the other end of the table._

_“Is it that obvious?” Haru asked, his left hand linked to Rin’s right beneath the table._

_“You’re glowing more than usual, so yeah.”  Sousuke smiled, raising his glass.  “Rin, Haru, omedetou.”_

_“Congrats, you guys!”  Makoto added his glass to the toast._

_Despite the burning in his cheeks, Rin felt the exact glow Sousuke mentioned, spreading warm through his chest.  The grin wouldn’t be stopped, Rin gripping his fiancé’s hand as their four glasses clinked together._

…The blush was going to be permanent, damnit.  _Especially if you keep looking at me like that._   Rin glared mildly at the amused look on his best friend’s face.

“As long as Nagisa doesn’t guess, you’re probably safe,” Sousuke said, smiling.

Rin glanced at his fiancé…and melted in an instant at the noticeable happiness in Haru’s gaze.  The odds of their childhood friend figuring them out?  _Pretty damn high, probably._

-x-

“Haru-chan!!  Rin-chan!!”  Nagisa wasn’t the least bit encumbered by a full backpack, leaping into Haru’s arms in the arrival lobby of Haneda’s domestic terminal 2.

Haru grunted, forced a step back but not toppling over, fortunately (Rin was ready to help if needed, though it might’ve just ended with the three of them on the floor).  “Nagisa…”

Behind Nagisa, Rei was a portrait of opposites, perfectly composed and toting a black travel case with a purple butterfly luggage tag.  He adjusted his red eyeglasses as he came over.  “Makoto-senpai.  Sou-chan-san.”

“Yo.”  Sousuke lifted a hand in greeting.

“Good flight?” Makoto asked.

“The city is quite beautiful from the air, though not as beautiful as it is at night,” Rei said.

“Rei-chan didn’t get sick this time,” Nagisa said, still clinging to Haru.

Rei sighed, flushing red with embarrassment.  “Nagisa-kun…”

Eventually, they got Nagisa to let go, Rin scanning the arrivals board for incoming ANA flights from Hiroshima and Sapporo.

“Gates one and two…”  He glanced at the overhead signs.

“We should wait by the other exit,” Haru murmured.

“Ah.”  Their gazes met—just for a second—but the soft look in Haru’s eyes _for him_ brought a fresh warmth to Rin’s face.  He pressed his lips, fighting the smile their friends were sure to notice, settling for the briefest squeeze of his fiancé’s hand.  “Uh, let’s go,” he said, turning away, shoving his hands into the pockets of his warmup jacket.

“Mm.”  Haru fell in step with him.

The others trailed them across the busy arrivals lobby, Nagisa chattering endlessly.  Rin tuned out most of the conversation…until Nagisa started whispering.

“Ne, Mako-chan.”

“Hm?”

“Haru-chan and Rin-chan are sparkling today, don’t you think?  I mean, they’re always sparkling, but it’s like _extra bright_ , compared to last time…”

_Damnit, Nagisa._

Beside Rin, Haru shrugged and smiled with his eyes, Rin reading the look easily.  _Can’t be helped, I guess?_

Rin sighed his resignation, giving in to the smile he couldn’t hold back anyways.

-x-

The Hiroshima and Sapporo flights were ten minutes apart and everyone had each other’s itineraries, so Rin wasn’t surprised when his parents and Haru’s came out together with Gou alongside.  Of course the parents all knew each other—everyone had traveled yearly for Nationals when Rin and Haru were in high school, not to mention the winter Rin swam with Iwatobi SC.  The last time was two years ago now, not that anyone could tell with their moms and dads chattering away.  Usually, when Rin saw their parents together, he was struck by the contrast in personalities—how loud and outspoken his parents were, versus the friendly but more reserved Nanases.  …But this time, he was seeing them with new eyes.  Someday, if— _when_ —he and Haru figured out this marriage thing, they would all be _family_.  There would be new decisions to make, like where they’d call home for New Years, who’d host which gathering…  And if they someday, somehow, had _kids_ —

Rin stopped breathing, carefully packaging that thought and placing it securely and deeply in his heart.  _One impossible thing at a time, Matsuoka._

“Haru-nii!!”  Gou tackled Haru with a hug, ruby hair spilling over his shoulder.  She’d been calling him that for years—even before Rin flubbed his confession at fifteen and kissed Haru for the first time.  Maybe family, for them, had been inevitable from the beginning.

Rin’s parents were right behind Gou, greeting Haru warmly, which left Rin free to bow to Haru’s parents.

“Ojisama, Obasama.”

“Rin.”  Haru’s dad smiled at him, extending his hand.  “How was Australia?  I heard good things from your father about it.”

Rin shook hands, nodding.  “I was able to gain a lot of valuable experience and training.  But it’s good to be home.”

“We’re glad you’re home as well.  Haruka won’t really say it, you know, but we could tell how much he missed you.”

A delighted blush crept into Rin’s cheeks; he dipped his head to cover as much as he could.  “I missed him as well.”

“We heard your father was promoted,” Haru’s mom said.  “That he’s now full time in Kure?  It must be nice having him nearby, and that he’s no longer out at sea?”

Rin smiled.  “I’m not sure my dad’s 100% thrilled to have been promoted to a desk job, but it is great having him just down the road from the Academy.”

“Less stressful for your mother too, I’m sure.”  Her voice was perfectly friendly and conversational, but there was an edge to her smile, something held back and unreadable.

Haru wore the same expression sometimes—almost always about swimming, recently.  Those times, Rin could tell there was a lot going on behind blue eyes—a lot Haru wanted to say or ask but wasn’t for whatever reason.  Haru was always so careful not to impose his own wants on Rin’s choices, on Rin being free. 

Facing the same sort of look in blue-gray eyes that so well resembled Haru’s, Rin tried not to make assumptions.  It’d been nearly a year and a half since he’d last seen Haru’s mother.  She’d always been welcoming and warm to him, if more conservative than Rin’s parents on some things.  Nothing changed after Haru told his parents about their relationship—maybe because it was _that_ obvious to everyone.  (The only thing that came of it at the time was Haru’s bemused look.  _“They said I have to guard your virtue since I’m the older one and you’re younger.”_  —Which made Rin so irritated and embarrassed that according to Haru, he turned purple.  _“I thought your ears were gonna catch fire.”_ )

It wasn’t fair to wonder—on one off look—if things were different now, with them being serious and adults in a world that didn’t yet have a place for them.  At the same time, Rin couldn’t help a stray thought or two…old fears surfacing that he thought he’d discarded long ago.  _Maybe not, huh?_

“You’re flying regularly now, I hear?” she asked.

Rin shoved his thoughts and fears deep, hiding it all behind a smile.  “Yes!  Though it’s mostly just moving people from base to base.  It’s not actually that exciting most of the time.”

“Oh, is that so?  Well, it doesn’t sound too bad.”  The flicker, whatever it was, was gone again, replaced by the kind smile he was used to.

“I still enjoy it.”

Haru’s parents went to greet their son and Rin was caught in a bear hug by Gou and his mom and dad—even though they’d all seen each other just days ago.  The embrace was cathartic and just what he needed.  Melting into the arms of his family, he didn’t have to doubt a thing.

-x-

White tents stretched along the beach at Odaiba Marine Park, with the roughly 1400m course marked by floating orange buoys in the bay with the Rainbow Bridge in the background.  Today was the official practice, noon to 2PM.  The 10k race would start at 9AM the next morning.

In the changing tent, Rin stripped down to his square leg practice suit and donned his swim cap.  With sand beneath his feet, he dug through his gear bag, searching for the bottle of electrolyte solution he’d packed—carefully measured out and mixed—for the feeding station. 

“Fuck, I know I put it in here,” he muttered, sifting through the contents for the third time.

“What are you looking for?” Haru asked, standing over him.

“My feed bottle.  I know I—”

“That?”  Haru pointed.

The stout black and red bottle was right beside his knee, next to his goggles, both items on top of his folded towel.  Rin sighed, sinking back onto his heels.  _Damnit._

A warm arm snaked around his waist.  “What’s on your mind, Rin?”

“Oi.”  Rin blushed, looking around…but the changing tent had emptied out.  It was just the two of them.  Being alone didn’t lessen his embarrassment, though.  “It’s obvious, huh?”

“10k’s not the kind of race you want to do distracted.”

Rin nodded, hands curling against his knees.  “It’s nothing.  Your mom gave me a weird look earlier and I guess I…”  _Can’t stop thinking about it._

Haru’s lips thinned into a line.  “Oh, that.”

“Huh?”

Haru exhaled through his nose.  “She partly blames you for me quitting art school for the Coast Guard.  She’s worried I’m gonna get hurt or something, because it’s a dangerous job.”

Rin blinked once, twice…recalling snippets of their conversation—his dad’s desk job, how she brightened when he talked about his flights being boring…  _Oh, fuck.  Of course that was it._   Haru’s mother always worried about everything.  Rin’s cheeks burned.  “‘Partly,’ huh?”

“Mn…”  Haru rested his chin on Rin’s shoulder.  “Alright, more than ‘partly.’  She’ll get over it,” he murmured.  “Probably after I go on a few missions and come back alive.”

The thought was instantly sobering, Rin exhaling hard.  “You’d better come back alive,” he muttered.

Haru shifted around to face him, sand falling across Rin’s knee.  “You don’t get to worry too.  You asked me to do this.”

“Like hell I can’t.”  Rin frowned.

Haru smiled, pressing their foreheads together, swim caps squeaking as they touched.  “Then you have to make the same promise, Rin.  That we’ll always come back to each other.”

“With every breath,” Rin whispered, wrapping his arms around Haru’s shoulders, tugging his fiancé in until their lips met.

-x-

The blue starting platform floated on the surface of the bay, bobbing lightly beneath Rin’s feet.  He was flanked by Haru and Sousuke, the three of them finishing their prep.  Even though today was only practice, he could still hear their friends and family cheering from the shore.  Haru’s parents were quieter, but he could make out their voices too.  Rin’s heart was calm again.  Leaving the changing tent with Haru, he’d been brave enough to broach the subject—

_“Na, Haru…  You think she’s…OK with us, still?  We’re not kids anymore…”_

_“She wasn’t thrilled when I said you were staying with me this time, but that’s her being traditional about the sex stuff.  Us being engaged will probably make her feel better about that.”_

_“Er, I mean more, like—”_

_Haru’s eyes softened.  “She worries about us, Rin.  The same as she worries about everything else.”_

That simple ‘us’ had soothed his fears.  Because you couldn’t worry about someone unless you cared. 

From the boat, off to the right of the platform, the starter raised the air horn—

Rin set his feet and leaned in.  Sharing grins with Haru and Sousuke, the three of them dove together at the signal—

-x-

After a late lunch / early dinner at the Red Lobster in Aqua City _(Why did we let Nagisa pick?)_ and getting their families situated in their nearby hotel, Rin and Haru escaped to the train station, trekking north to Ueno before the jewelry store closed.

Haru’s former classmate, Megumi, was waiting for them with a pair of velvet jewelry boxes on the counter—one burgundy and one navy blue—and two white gift bags with silver trim.

“I picked different colors so you could tell them apart,” she said, opening both boxes to reveal the gleaming rings inside. 

A lump immediately formed in Rin’s throat, his grip tightening on Haru’s hand.

“This one’s the size eighteen.”  Megumi gestured to the burgundy box first and the navy one next.  “And here’s the size seventeen.”  Closing both boxes, she slipped them into the gift bags, handing the size seventeen to Rin and the eighteen to Haru.  “Congratulations again!  Come back when you’re ready to think about engraving, OK?”

Rin dipped his head, his eyes moist as he clutched the ribbon handles of the bag, unable to find a single word.

“…Thank you,” Haru said quietly.

They rushed back to Haru’s apartment, barely speaking on the train or during their brisk walk through narrow streets to get to Haru’s building.  Rin’s heart was pounding.  In the silence of Haru’s bedroom, he could hear how loud it was—wondering if his fiancé could hear it too—as they settled on the bed together, barefoot in their warmups with the gift bags between them.

He’d thought about this moment for days, planned out his words and run them over in his mind.  Rin’s hands were shaking as he pulled out the navy box, knowing that if he stalled, if he tried to rehearse it one last time he’d screw it up.  Unlike his flubbed confession at fifteen and the first time he told Haru he loved him, he wanted this to be perfect—

But as Haru inhaled and gave his hand, as they touched, Rin’s nerves vanished.  There was only love, there was only _Us_ , and the words flowed from his heart as he held Haru’s hand, the ring featherlight between his fingertips.

“Haru.”  Rin still had to swallow, smiling amidst the swell of emotion rising inside him.  “I’ve loved you from the beginning,” he whispered, sliding the gleaming band over Haru’s fingertip.  _From relays and sleepovers and holding hands during rainstorms._ “Even with all of the time apart, my feelings for you haven’t changed—they’ve only gotten stronger.”  He worked the ring carefully over Haru’s knuckle.  “You’re the one I want to spend my life with.  You’re the one I want to come home to.  You’re the one I want to wake up to— _forever_.”  Rin’s voice broke on the last, the band shining on his fiancé’s finger, his vision blurring with tears.

“ _Rin_ —”  Haru tackled him to the blankets, warm droplets falling on his cheeks and throat from gleaming blue eyes.  “ _I love you_.”  The kiss was salty with tears and matchlessly tender.  Rin was breathless and ruined as they parted— _ruined for life_ —and he’d never been happier.

“I think you’re supposed to kiss me after,” Rin murmured, gliding fingers through his fiancé’s hair.

“Mn.  Shut up,” Haru said, wiping hastily at his tears, sitting up and pulling Rin with him.  The ring on Haru’s hand caught the light as he retrieved the second bag and the velvet box inside.

Rin stopped breathing as Haru took his hand, trapped by the ocean of affection in Haru’s gaze.  “You showed me I could be so much more than ordinary.”  Haru slowly worked the ring onto Rin’s finger, the metal cool against his skin.  “I want to dream _together_.  And wherever your dreams take you, I’ll be there.  When things go well, when it’s hard—I’ll be there, Rin, by your side.”

Fresh tears sheeted down Rin’s cheeks, the ring in place, wonderfully foreign on his hand and he hoped he’d never get used to it, so he could always remember the way Haru put it there.  “ _Haru_ …”  The name came out in a whisper as they landed in a tangle against the mattress, Rin nuzzling his tear-stained face against Haru’s neck, one _I love you_ after another slipping reverently from his lips.

Haru inhaled, drawing him closer.  His hands slid beneath Rin’s warmup jacket, the ring on his finger gliding across Rin’s skin.  “ _Rin_ …”  Their lips melted together, kisses interspersed with sweet murmurs and soft, hitched breaths.

When Rin ran out of words, he used his mouth, his hands, his body—every part of him—to communicate the love burning like a star inside his heart.

…They were awake long after nightfall, not that they should’ve been with a race in the morning.  Cuddled together between the sheets, Rin was on his back with one arm curled around Haru’s shoulders…the other was lifted into the air, the ring sparkling on his finger in the moonlight from the window.

“You’re just gonna stare at it all night?”  Haru stifled a yawn.

“Fuck yeah, I am!”  Rin grinned. 

Haru hummed with amusement, shifting beneath Rin’s arm.  He lifted his hand to Rin’s, palm warm against the back of Rin’s hand.  Their fingers wove together, matching rings shining as brightly as their someday dreams.

* * *

Sunday, September 19th, 2010

* * *

“I’ll guard them with my life,” Makoto said, accepting the velvet pouch Haru placed in his palm.

Haru frowned.  “They’re precious, but we spent less than fifty thousand yen.”

Rin couldn’t help but smile at the distressed look on Haru’s face.  _You’re so fucking adorable._

Makoto sighed.  “It’s just an expression, Haru.”

The furrows in Haru’s brow deepened below the edge of his swim cap.

“Come on.”  Rin draped an arm around Haru’s shoulders.  “We gotta warm up.”

“Mn.”  Haru let Rin lead him away.

The morning was cooler but humid, light and variable winds swirling across the surface of the bay where race officials in blue polo shirts and hats saw to the final preparations.  The media was out in droves already—Seijuurou, Takara, and super marathon swimmer Asato were currently being interviewed along the shore.  The spectators were just starting to gather, filling in the beach.  Nagisa, Gou, and Rin’s parents had staked out a prime spot with blankets and beach chairs.  They were just breaking out bandanas and Nagisa was chasing Rei with face paint…

“Rei-chan!!  I promise it’ll be beautiful!”

“How can _face paint_ be beautiful??”

Unfortunately for Nagisa, there was no way he could keep up with Rei sprinting anywhere.  Laughing, he collapsed breathlessly into the sand, just as Makoto got to them.

“ _Oi_ , Makoto-kun!”  Rin’s dad was decked out in the same over-the-top Team Shark gear as in Shibukawa, passing out bandanas.

Rin turned away from the scene, chuckling despite the heat in his face.

“I forgot how much fun it is when your parents spectate,” Haru murmured.  “Your dad always goes all out.”

“Yeah…  It’s just as embarrassing as high school.”  _We both missed me competing._

Haru poked him in the hip, just above the waistband of his leg skins.  “You like it, Rin.”

“Yup.”  He grinned, pulling Haru closer as they wandered down to the wet sand and the water’s edge.

-x-

They fist-bumped with race numbers on their hands—41 for Rin, 37 for Sousuke, 18 for Haru—and colorful trackers on their wrists. 

“No matter what, we’ve got each other’s backs out there,” Sousuke said, the three of them in their techsuits, slathered in sunscreen and greased up for the race.

“Ah.”  Haru nodded, the enviable Japanese flag on the chest of his black, full length suit.  “Let’s have a good race.”

“Let’s do it.”  Rin grinned, soaking up the warmth and eagerness in their huddle, the thrill resonating inside him.  “See you out there.”

They broke on three, working their goggles into place as they headed to their spots on the floating platform. 

“Rin-chan!!”  “Haru-nii!!”  “Sousuke-kun!!”  “Rin!!  Haruka!!”

 _You guys_.  Rin squeezed in between racers 40 and 42, feeling the love of his friends and family surrounding him.  The first orange buoy floated in the distance, the course attended by small chase boats and lifeguards on bright yellow surfboards.  With seconds to 9AM, the starter raised the air horn—

Rin leaned in, the sun on his back, awaiting the signal.

-x-

Ten kilometers was a different beast.  Rin thought thirty swimmers in the Nakaumi race were a lot, or the fifty in Shibukawa.  Here, there were nearly a hundred in the water—sixty men and thirty-five women.  With that many elbows and feet flying everywhere, there was no way to come out unscathed.  Halfway through the first 1400m lap (of seven), Rin caught up with Haru and Sousuke, the three of them on the front edge of the main pack, with the diehards like Asato and Seijuurou a ways ahead.  Together, they glided through the foamy saltwater, trading the lead to keep their position.

It felt less like a race, actually, and more like they were a team—supporting each other, helping each other, watching out for one another…  Rin couldn’t help thinking this is what it would be like—if the three of them were rescue swimmers someday, not racing for medals and times on paper, but to help people and save lives…

He’d wanted it for years—because he knew they were the best team out there—that they could make a difference on calm seas or stormy ones, just like the team of men and women who brought Rin’s dad home that day.

As for the race…this wasn’t the right race, not really.  –Not without the start block beneath his feet, the shrill pulse of the whistle, and fifty meters of glossy water stretched out ahead of them.  One hundred meter free and fly—that was where they shined the brightest, where they could go best-on-best without a random elbow knocking them off pace.  As much as Rin scoffed about how quaint it was to swim in the controlled conditions of a pool, he missed being that fast, measuring himself by the clock and by Haru or Sousuke in the next lane, proving he earned that spot on the podium. 

How many times had he told himself he didn’t _need_ to swim that way anymore, that swimming with the Coast Guard was all he wanted to do?  That he no longer had that old dream…  Who the fuck was he kidding—when the thought of Haru swimming another championship without him just _stung_ …and the ache of _not knowing if he could_ got stronger all the time?

Would it really be the end of the world if he delayed his SRT goals by a few months, even up to a year?

The problem was, he knew what the end of the world felt like—in the pouring rain, the phone held to his ear, and the rapid, unsteady words that drained the life out of him.

Haru was on his left, the 18 on his deltoid flashing in the sunlight each time his arm rotated forward, hand dipping into the water.  The spray hit Rin as he breathed, flecks of salt landing on his lips.  He smiled, feeling Sousuke just as close on his right.  Haru always said the water spoke to him, that he found answers in its embrace.  _For me, water makes my life more complicated._ But in that moment, he’d never felt more fortunate—lucky to have these struggles and these choices…and the love of his friends, right in the middle of the mess.

-x-

At the end of 10k, Rin didn’t have much of a sprint left, but he gave what he could, slapping the timing board at the finish and rolling onto his back to gasp for breath.  Haru and Sousuke were with him.  There were enough swimmers out of the water already that the podium was spoken for, but Rin didn’t mind.  He was happy and exhausted, limbs feeling like jelly as he traded hugs with his fiancé and best friend in shallow water, the three of them helping each other as they trudged up onto the beach. 

Seijuurou, who’d finished first, looked way better than fine (to Rin’s irritation), strutting around with his orange-haired younger brother on his back while the media tried to corner him for an interview.

Rin, Haru, and Sousuke were quickly engulfed by friends and family, wrapped in towels and arms and excited screaming.  Even though he was taller now and fully grown, Rin leaned on his dad, still fighting for breath, letting Toraichi hold him upright.

“You were great out there, Rin.”

Rin smiled, his wet hair dripping onto his father’s shoulder.  “Thanks, Dad.”

-x-

The podium ceremony was held shortly after the race, Seijuurou and Takara getting their first-place plaques and podium bouquets alongside the silver and bronze medalists.  While they were posing for pictures in their warmups, a reporter caught Haru for a few questions, Rin and Sousuke edging away from the camera.

“Nanase-senshu, congratulations on a sixth-place finish!  Being one of the top eight, you’re automatically qualified for next year’s 10k in Tateyama.  Can we expect to see you then?”

 _Auto-qualified?_   Rin questioned Sousuke with a raised brow.

Sousuke smiled, giving him a nod like, _You didn’t read the fine print, did you?_

 _Mn_.  Rin pressed his lips.

Haru nodded.  “I’ll be planning on it.”

“In the meantime, I understand you’ll be taking some time off?”

“Yes, I’ll be training to fly with the Coast Guard.”

“But surely we’ll still see you next April?”

“Ah.”  Haru dipped his head.  “I wouldn’t miss it.”

“We’ll look forward to seeing you then, Nanase-senshu.  Congratulations and best of luck.”

“Thanks.”

The reporter and camera crew left, Rin and Sousuke not warranting the attention despite Sousuke finishing fifth (and Rin placing seventh). 

“Tateyama, huh?” Rin murmured as Haru came back to them.

Haru met his gaze, expression guarded but hopeful.  “Will you think about it, Rin?”

Rin snorted, answering his fiancé with a smile.  “I don’t have to think about it.  I’m qualified.”

“ _Rin_ —”  Haru hugged him—right there on the beach—and it was better than any gold medal Rin had ever won.

He could’ve stayed there in Haru’s arms forever, if only there were fewer cameras and reporters around.  Parting, they headed back to the tents to change and gather their stuff.

“My hand feels naked,” Haru said as they crossed the sand in street clothes and sandals, carrying their gear bags.

“Mine too,” Rin murmured, giving Haru’s hand a brief squeeze as he scanned the dispersing crowds, looking for Makoto.  It wasn’t that hard, picking out the group in Team Shark apparel and all of the bandanas and face paint.  Even Rei looked like he didn’t mind it anymore; whoever had painted the red and blue butterflies on his face had done quite a good job.

Their families and friends were on the edge of the sand, close to the trees and grass.  There was another round of hugs while Nagisa rattled off the names of nearby restaurants, grabbing Rei and Haru by the hands.

Haru, however, refused to be budged.  “Makoto.”

Rin blushed.  _We’re doing this now, huh?_

“Oh.”  Pink lit in Makoto’s cheeks.  He smiled, pulling the jewelry pouch from his pocket and handing it over.

“Haru-chan?”  “Haruka-honey?”

Haru held a finger to his lips, Rin’s heart pounding as their loved ones hushed and leaned in, surrounding them on all sides.  The moment Haru shook the rings into his palm, the gasps started and Gou squealed, clapping both hands over her mouth.

Rin couldn’t help grinning like an idiot, eyes moist as Haru drew him in, as he gave his hand in front of their friends and family, letting Haru slide the ring onto his finger where it belonged.

Nagisa’s eyes were huge, Gou making all kinds of incoherent squeaking noises behind her hands as Rin picked up the second ring, gazing into the love in Haru’s eyes and giddy with joy as he placed the gleaming band on Haru’s finger.

No one could hold back after that, Rin and Haru crushed together in the center of a messy, shrieking hug. 

“Haru-chan!!  Rin-chan!!”  Nagisa threw himself into their arms, sobbing.  Behind him, Rei clutched a handkerchief to his heart.

Gou jumped on Rin’s back.  “Onii-chan!!  Haru-nii!!”

It was impossible to tell who was hugging them.  Rin laughed and grinned, pressed against Haru, their cheeks wet with each other’s happy tears.

The parents squeezed in for the second round, both of them getting trapped in a bear hug between Rin’s dad and mom.

“Congrats, you guys.  We’re so happy for you,” Miyako whispered.

“Mom, Dad…”

When his parents (eventually) pulled away, Rin found himself face-to-face with blue-gray eyes, Haru’s mother taking his hands in both of hers.

She smiled up at him, lashes slick with tears.  “Rin, welcome to the family.”

There was nothing held back in her words or in her gaze.  Rin’s eyes filled to the brim and spilled over.  “ _Hai_.”

-x-

After a rowdy lunch (the wait staff looked relieved when they finally left), Rin and Haru took their families back to the airport.  Rin’s parents and Gou had to run for their flight, leaving them in a flurry of hugs and kisses and vigorous waving.

Seeing Haru’s parents off was drastically calmer.

“Anytime you boys want to come up for Christmas again, just let us know,” Haru’s father said.

“Ah.”  Rin dipped his head.  “Thank you, Ojisama.”

Haru’s mother had been quiet for a while, a pensive look on her face.  Haru’s father laid a hand on her shoulder. 

“Shall we go, dear?”

She nodded, on the verge of turning away, but stopped, her gaze flicking from Haru to Rin and back again.  “Haruka, Rin, fly safe.”  Her smile was pained.  “I realize you two can’t ever pick the easy way to do things, but hurry up and find yourselves desk jobs, alright?”

Rin bowed his head.  “Hai, Obasama.”

“Thanks for coming, Mom, Dad,” Haru said.

Haru’s dad drew an arm around his wife’s shoulders, moisture gleaming in her eyes as they left with a wave and got into the security line.

She was right.  Rin waved back, the ring lightweight and cool on his finger as he shared a smile with Haru.  _We don’t do the easy things._

-x-

They returned to Haru’s apartment, scrubbing off their race numbers and the last remnants of sunscreen before tumbling into bed.  Rin took his time with the prep work, drinking in Haru’s sighs in ever-deepening kisses, his heart racing in anticipation, groans falling from his lips as Haru moved against him.

Even when it seemed OK, he kept going, loving the way Haru gasped and trembled atop him, feeling his fiancé’s body quake with pleasure.

Haru slid back with a grunt, settling across his thighs and glaring mildly as he reached for the blue zippered case on the nightstand.  “Now you’re just playing.”

“Guilty,” Rin murmured, smiling until Haru wrapped a hand around him and stroked.  Haru’s revenge left him shaking and breathing hard…then not breathing at all once the condom was in place and Haru was sinking down onto him.  Rin saw stars—fireworks—behind his eyelids, fingers digging into Haru’s hips as Haru slowly took him inside.

It was only the second time, this way.  The view was different, but the love and desire in Haru’s eyes was the same.  The ring on Haru’s finger caught the light as his hands slid up Rin’s chest, a smile glittering on his lips as he leaned down.  “Breathe, Rin.”

“ _Fuck_ —”  Rin’s lungs emptied, pleasure shuddering through him as he panted and tried to hold still…

“Better,” Haru whispered, capturing Rin’s lips as he began to move—

It was languid at first…then, not so much, their mingled cries filling Haru’s bedroom, arms locked around each other, hearts tangled most of all.

-x-

Rin knotted his uniform tie in Haru’s bathroom, light gleaming off the stripes on his shoulders and the ring on his finger.  He wasn’t taking it off, even if it meant inviting new questions he’d have to answer carefully.  Maybe, someday, they wouldn’t have to hide anymore.  Haru believed that world would come; little by little, Rin was starting to hope too.

Finished with the tie, Rin fastened the buttons at his cuffs, smoothing the sleeves, making sure nothing was out of place—just the glowy look on his face, probably.  _Like I can fucking help it._

Satisfied, he flicked the lights off and headed back into the hallway.  His duffle bag and flight bag were in the genkan by his shoes, ready to go.  He was due, in a few minutes, to meet Sousuke at the subway station.

First, though…  Rin eased the bedroom door open, light from the doorway spilling into the darkened room.  It was night already, the city lit soft white beyond the window, planes of blue and silver falling across the bed. 

Haru stirred as Rin entered, shifting and stretching beneath the blankets.  The vacant spot beside him beckoned; Rin wanted nothing more than to shed his clothes and slip back into bed with Haru, to cuddle and nap and wake up in each other’s arms come morning…

He had to make do with perching on the side of the bed.

Haru stifled a yawn, blinking up at him and smiling drowsily.  “I could sleep for hours.”

Rin pressed his lips, far too delighted by Haru’s words.  “You’d better be careful, stroking my ego like that.”

“Nah,” Haru said, sliding arms around his shoulders, Rin sinking down willingly.  The kiss was sweet with depth and patient; it was a long moment before Haru let him up for air.  “Text me when you get home?”

Rin smiled.  “I’ll text you from Kure.”  _Home is where you are, Haru._

“Mm.”  Haru squeezed him tight.  “Safe flying, Rin.”

“You too,” Rin said, hugging him back.  “Love you.”

“Love _you_.”

Rin’s heart was full as he sat up, catching Haru’s hand in both of his, pressing his lips to the ring on his fiancé’s finger.

Haru’s smile melted him all over again.  It took effort for Rin to pull himself away.  As he stood up, Haru closed his eyes and snuggled into the side of the bed he’d vacated, face pressed into his half of the pillow.  Another yawn and Rin silently retreated into the hallway.

He leaned against the door for a moment; the sigh that fell from his lips was a wordless prayer—that God would watch over them and bring them safely back together again.

The bedroom went quiet, Rin imagining he could hear Haru’s soft breaths, already missing the weight of Haru’s arm around him.  With a wistful smile, he headed for the genkan, flicking the lights off as he went, and gathered his things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Odaiba race](http://livedoor.blogimg.jp/tobiuojapan/imgs/7/9/7917ca46.jpg) (2017)


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: There's a scene of dunk tank training in this chapter. It's short and routine, but figured I should mention it to be on the safe side.
> 
> Brief adult/nsfw content.

* * *

Monday, November 8th, 2010

* * *

The orange windsock in Rin’s binoculars was flying north, nearly straight out with only a slight sag at the narrow end of the cone.  “About ten knots.  Pretty stiff crosswind for a Beechcraft.”

Beside him, Sousuke snorted.  “You don’t get to make windsock jokes with your fiancé coming to town.”

Rin grinned, too giddy to blush as he dropped back into the passenger seat of the open-air jeep.  They were parked on a service road at the edge of the Coast Guard ramp, with unobstructed views of the Hiroshima airfield.  Sousuke had the wheel, both of them in their flight crew uniforms, though Rin wasn’t flying anywhere.  _Seven fucking weeks_ since Tokyo and he _could not_ sit still, especially with Haru inbound, due to land any minute.

He reached for the radio dials as an ANA 737-800 took the active runway for departure.

Sousuke batted his hand away.  “It’s already tuned to tower.  Keep your pants on.”

“Turn it up, then!”

Sousuke rolled his eyes but obliged.

_“ANA six-eight-eight, you are cleared for takeoff.  Arriving traffic is a Beechcraft on a nine-mile final.”_

_“Cleared for takeoff, ANA six-eight-eight.  We’re rolling.”_

The roar of the 737’s engines filled Rin’s ears, even with his earplugs, as the single-aisle plane throttled up and sped down the runway, rotating around midfield and climbing out to the west.

As the noise died down and the radio chirped again, Rin’s heart leapt into his throat—

_“Coast Guard nine-eight-five, you are cleared to land, runway two-eight.  Winds are two-zero-zero at one-one.  Caution, wake turbulence—Boeing 737 departed prior to your arrival.”_

_“Coast Guard nine-eight-five is cleared to land; copy all,”_ came the response, the voice notably not Haru’s.

Rin scrambled to his feet, lifting the binoculars and aiming east.

Sousuke stood up next to him.  “Eleven-knot crosswind and wake turbulence.  I bet he bounces twice.”

“One bounce.”  It took a bit of searching, but Rin found the small white and blue turboprop, landing lights bright against gray skies.  “Loser buys cola.”

“You’re on.”

They fist-bumped on it, then Rin went back to watching the tiny plane grow larger and larger…

 _Hey, Haru._   He bit his lower lip.  Words did not exist to describe how much he’d missed Haru over the last seven weeks, or how many times a day he gazed at the ring on his finger.  Texts, voice calls, and Skyping just wasn’t _enough_.  It never had been, but he felt it now like never before.

He didn’t breathe much in those three minutes, the Beechcraft King Air 350 crabbed into the wind, descending towards the east end of the runway.  With less than a hundred feet to go, Haru added sideslip, angling the nose to the centerline and drifting down until the upwind wheel touched.  There was a small cloud of dust as the main gear settled, then the nose gear _eased_ down to the concrete.  The struts compressed and relaxed a couple times, jostled like a spring, but all three wheels remained firmly planted on the runway.

“Ah, hell.”  Rin laughed as the Beechcraft rolled out.  “It’s all those damn video games with Makoto and the twins.”

“Hmph.  Guess we’re both buying.”  Sousuke tapped the top of the windshield before dropping down to the driver’s seat.  “Sit your ass down, Rin.”

He complied, strapping in as Sousuke started the jeep.

They parked near the hangar, staying out of the way as ground crew in their orange reflective gear positioned themselves on the ramp with chocks and marshaller’s batons.  Trading binoculars for aviator shades (the ones Haru gave him), Rin got out and leaned against the side of the jeep, trying to play it cool like his heart wasn’t racing already.

The plane turned off the taxiway and onto the Coast Guard ramp, Rin straining for even a glimpse of his beloved through the flight deck windows.  Haru was in the left seat, their eyes locking for a split second before the aircraft turned.  Even that was enough to make Rin’s cool evaporate.

Haru executed a tight 180 on the ramp, braking to a stop at the marshaller’s directions.  Twin propellers spun down and the ground crew headed in to chock the gear.  A few minutes later, the door on the left side of the fuselage—aft of the cabin windows—opened, flight school students hopping out in pale blue uniforms and JCG hats, with wide eyes and excited looks on their faces.  There were only three in the white and black aircrew uniforms—the right seater with short brown hair who they’d heard over the radio, Instructor Mayeda, …and Haru.

Haru was the last to deplane, wearing amber aviator shades (a gift Rin sent after Haru’s first solo flight) and a lightweight black bomber jacket with stripes on the shoulders (matching Rin’s).  His hair had been trimmed to regulation, swept to the side and tucked behind his ears, and there was no mistaking the ring glinting on his finger as he carried his flight bag.

Rin didn’t breathe for a whole damn minute.

“What was that about the windsock?” Sousuke murmured.

“ _Shut up_.”  Rin glared at his best friend, desperately ignoring the heat rising in his face.

Mayeda gathered her students close for two minutes of instruction as the ground crew boarded the aircraft and brought the refueling truck over.  Rin stayed glued to the jeep, trying not to fidget.

The flight school students headed off in a group, wheeling their suitcases across the ramp, except for Haru.  He spoke with Instructor Mayeda and broke off to join them.

Rin bowed formally—Sousuke too—as she glanced in their direction.

He was back to holding his breath, fighting to maintain his composure, as Haru came to him.  Because this wasn’t Haneda after nightfall; he couldn’t tackle Haru or even hug Haru here…much less the other things running through his mind (most of which involved grabbing his fiancé’s tie, followed by bruising kisses and making love on the hood of the jeep).

Haru smiled like Rin’s eyes were shouting everything he was thinking.  That one look ruined Rin for love all over again.  He might as well have been a puddle on the concrete.

“Nice landing,” Sousuke said, holding up a fist.

“Thanks.”  Haru bumped their fists together.

“Really thought you’d bounce it.”

“Yeah, they were taking bets in the back.  Everyone owes me mackerel, now.”  Haru looked at him, face softening.  “Hey, Rin.”

The sound that came out of Rin’s mouth didn’t even resemble words.  He cleared his throat and tried again.  “…Hey.”

Sousuke chuckled.  “You broke him, you know?”

“Well,” Haru’s gaze flicked over him warmly, “it’s mutual.”

_Haru…_

“You look good, Rin.”

Rin’s breath came out in a sigh.  “So do you.”

“Wow.”  Sousuke rolled his eyes.  “I’m gonna go.  Before you hurt yourselves trying to make conversation.”

The jibe earned him a glare, Rin’s cheeks heating as Sousuke grabbed his flight bag out of the jeep.

“I’ll be back by eight tonight.  Don’t have sex on my bunk.”  Sousuke headed across the ramp with a wave.

Rin’s face ignited. _“Oi!”_  

Haru, meanwhile, saluted.

“Fucking stop that!”  Rin tackled his fiancé, dragging him towards the building.

Haru shook with quiet laughter beneath Rin’s arm.

They ducked into the hangar, separating as they started to garner looks.  Instead, they settled for walking side-by-side, arms occasionally brushing as they squeezed through narrow spaces.

“Rin.”  Haru’s voice was a warm whisper.  “Tadaima.”

Rin’s eyes went moist behind his shades.  “Okaeri.”

-x-

The hour-long shuttle ride from the airport was followed by a brief welcome and Academy tour.  Rin and another cadet were on hand to assist (not that Rin had spent the last seven weeks sweet-talking everyone he could to get the assignment…).  The flight school students—most of whom were setting foot on campus for the first time—saw the main lecture halls, simulation center, and library, followed by the pool.  Haru spent more time looking at him than the water, which nearly had Rin flubbing his tour spiel.  Training ship _Kojima_ was next, the tour completing with the dining hall, baths, gym, and the dorms.

The six men in the group, Haru included, would be split between two four-person dorm rooms—standard for Academy cadets—for their weeklong stay. 

“You’re free to settle in for the rest of the evening,” Rin said, as the flight school students picked beds in the adjacent rooms.  “Remember that dinner is 17:15 to 18:15 in the dining hall.  If you plan to go off-campus, check out with reception on the first floor.  Curfew is 22:15, inspection and lights out at 22:30.  The wakeup announcement will be at 06:30 tomorrow morning, with formation in the dormitory square at 06:35.”

Haru quietly set his flight bag on the bed nearest the door, eyeing the narrow bunk and closet / locker.

“The full schedule for the week is in the packets you received, along with other helpful information.  Questions?”  Rin scanned the faces in both rooms, not avoiding Haru but not lingering either.  “Very well.”  He exchanged bows with the group and headed off down the hallway, leaving the students chattering in his wake.

Rin’s heart started to pick up as he climbed the stairs to the third floor, swinging by the communal bathroom before unlocking the door to the room he shared with Sousuke.

Inside, he hung up his jacket and loosened his uniform tie.  Leaning against the desk, he folded his arms and waited, heat already gathering beneath the collar of his shirt.

It was only five minutes before the soft rap of knuckles sounded at his door.  “Cadet Matsuoka?”  Haru’s voice, slightly muffled, came from the opposite side.

Rin breathed out hard as he went to answer.

Haru, standing arms-length away in his aircrew uniform, was the manifestation of seven weeks of dreams and fantasies.  A sly smile quirked Haru’s lips, his blue eyes sparkling.  “Or should I call you _Senpai_?”

“ _Fuck_ no.”  Rin pulled his fiancé into the room—

Their lips met, Rin’s back hitting the wall as he shoved the door closed, flicking the lock by feel.  _Finally_ being able to touch, to embrace the one he loved…it was heady and glorious, but it wasn’t _enough_ right now, not for either of them.  The urgency was in their kisses, in impatient fingers working buttons and buckles and tugging shirts free…

“I missed you so damn much,” Rin whispered.

Haru sighed against his lips.  “Same.”  He slipped his hands beneath Rin’s thighs, picking him up—

They made it as far as Rin’s desk, their clothes half on and half off. 

“Where’s…?”

“Here.”  Rin kicked open a desk drawer, panting softly.  There was a textbook digging into his spine—not that he cared with Haru draped over him, hands working a slow tease between them.  He managed to fish out the red pouch one-handed, his fingers dragging through silky black hair as he sealed their mouths together.

…It wasn’t long before Haru was exactly where Rin wanted him, both of them trembling, moans pressed against each other’s skin. 

-x-

Rin gradually came down from the high, back to textbooks and a cramp in the leg flung over Haru’s arm.  He felt too good to be irritated by any of it; honestly the memories he’d have for studying at this desk forevermore were worth every bit of discomfort.  Tremors of pleasure ran through Rin’s body with each recovery breath.

Haru, in the circle of Rin’s arms, was shaking just as much.  His face was tucked against Rin’s throat, kisses and moist breaths alternating against Rin’s skin.  Haru’s hands wandered in caresses over his hips, smoothing places where Rin could still feel the imprint of Haru’s grip.  There wouldn’t be actual marks (not that he’d mind if there were).

Haru drew a deeper breath, arms circling Rin’s torso beneath his unbuttoned shirt.  “Mn.  Seeing you in uniform does things to me.”

Rin arched a brow, smiling as he toyed with a loose end of Haru’s tie.  “You’ve got a uniform kink, Nanase?”

Haru kissed his way to Rin’s mouth.  “I’ve got a Rin kink.  The uniform’s just a bonus.”

“Hm.”  Rin twisted his arms around Haru’s shoulders, returning the kiss until they were both freshly breathless.  “I may, or may not, have the equivalent affliction.”

Haru smiled, blue eyes sweetly sated.

At length, they separated and cleaned up, Rin slipping off the desk to stretch his legs and unkink his back. 

Haru took his pants off the rest of the way, flinging them over Rin’s desk chair.  He studied the room as he dealt with the condom, a Sight in his open uniform shirt and undone tie, otherwise naked with a lovely post-coital flush to his skin.

“How’d you guys get your own room?”

Rin peeled off his sweaty uniform shirt, discarding it and his trousers into the laundry hamper.  “Since we’re flight crew on the duty schedule.  They don’t want our coming and going interrupting other cadets’ beauty sleep.”  He finished clearing off the desk.  “People say it’s because of my dad, but it’s really Sousuke charming the administrators.”

“Remind me to thank him later.”  Haru’s shirt and tie joined the pile on Rin’s chair.  “Yours is the upper bunk?” he asked, already climbing (naked) into Rin’s bed.

“Ah, yup.”  Rin appreciated the view—Haru snuggling under _his_ blanket, using _his_ pillow…

“Is it weight-bearing?”

“Guess we’ll find out.” 

“Oh.”  Haru waved down from the bunk.  “Rin, my phone?”

“Sure.”  Rin grabbed both their phones and climbed up to join Haru, listening for any creaking or other signs of structural stress…  “Seems OK.” 

Haru lifted the blanket, Rin crawling in next to his fiancé, the two of them packed in like sardines in the narrow bunk.  Though he missed the privacy and freedom of their hotel room in Yonago, or Haru’s apartment in Tokyo, being together— _finally_ —just breathing in Haru’s familiar scent…  Rin gazed at the one he loved, overwhelmed in countless ways.

“We’ve got…two hours for cuddling, pillow talk, and anything else before your roommate gets back,” Haru murmured, setting an alarm on his phone. 

“You can stay longer.  Sousuke doesn’t mind, so long as we don’t do anything with him in the room.”

Haru arched a brow, looking pleased.  “Two hours of naked time, four hours until curfew…”  He glanced up from the screen.  “We’ll miss dinner.”

Rin propped himself up on an elbow, lips pressed to hide a smile.  “I might have a stash of canned mackerel in my closet, just for this contingency.”

Haru’s eyes widened.  He pushed his phone away, finding Rin’s hands instead.  “Is it weird if I ask you to marry me again?”  His thumb caressed the ring on Rin’s finger.

Rin chuckled.  “Dummy.  Just tell me you love me,” he murmured, leaning in for Haru’s lips.

“A million times wouldn’t be enough,” Haru said between kisses.

“So you’re not gonna try?”

Haru smiled, shards of black hair falling across his brow, blue eyes infinitely soft.  “Rin, I love you.”

“Haru…”  The rush of emotion made his chest feel tight.  “ _I love you_.”

* * *

Tuesday, November 9th, 2010

* * *

The instant ceiling speakers crackled prior to the morning wakeup call, Rin was out of his bunk, throwing off his clothes and pulling on his blue cadet uniform.  He laced up his boots, had his bed made in fifteen seconds, and grabbed his JCG cap as he headed for the door.

A yawn followed him.  “Fastest you’ve ever gotten out of bed.”

Rin tossed a grin over his shoulder—at Sousuke sitting up in the lower bunk, looking drowsy.  “I’ve got student pilots to shepherd.”

Sousuke just smiled, waving him out of the room.

After the restroom, Rin flew down the stairs to the second floor, slowing to a respectable and nonchalant walk as he entered the corridor, nodding to other cadets in passing. 

“Is everyone ready?” Haru’s voice spilled out of the open doorway, ahead on the left.

Chuckling followed.  “What the hell, Nanase?  We’re always the ones dragging _you_ out of bed or the bath—”

“You know we’re not going to the pool until _after_ breakfast.”

“We don’t want to be late on the first day,” Haru said.

“Ooh, write that down.  More things we’ve never heard Nanase say.”

Rin fought a smile, especially hearing Haru’s sigh, as he came to the doorway.  Haru was already dressed in his pale blue flight school uniform, a navy JCG cap on his head that matched Rin’s.  The other students were still making up their beds.

Rin cleared his throat lightly.  “He’s right.  Latecomers get extra cleaning duty.”

Haru’s two roommates straightened hastily to attention.  “Good morning, Cadet Matsuoka.”

“Good morning.”  Rin nodded to them and smiled, meeting Haru’s gaze last.

The warm look in Haru’s eyes brought Rin a wealth of memories.  Until curfew last night, they’d been dozing together in Rin’s bunk, holding each other and not needing a single word to communicate the way they felt.  It was in every touch, every soft brush of lips, in fingertips gently sweeping strands of hair aside…

The same quiet pleasure shone in blue eyes, as if they’d never left that private sanctuary, as if one of them just rolled over in bed and woke the other up.  “‘Morning, Cadet,” Haru said.

Rin inhaled, smiling back.  “‘Morning.” (… _Haru_ ).

-x-

The pool was only heated to sea temperatures—which meant 20C for November, a far cry from the balmy water in Yonago and in Daiba during their summer races.  Wetsuits on, Rin and Sousuke safety-checked each other’s diving equipment poolside while Haru tugged on the collar of his bright orange flight suit, making a noise of displeasure.

“You have to wear what you’d be wearing,” Rin murmured, side-glancing at his fiancé.  For this drill, that meant being fully clothed, down to the regulation boots and flight helmet. 

A mockup of a Bell helicopter fuselage, complete with crew seats and real door mechanisms, was suspended over the surface of the pool in a hydraulic apparatus.  The flight school pilots, along with Academy cadets, were suited up for their turn at egress training.  Rin and Sousuke were veterans to the procedure and had been selected (after Rin’s aggressive volunteering) to assist as safety divers.  Most of the trainees seemed jittery and nervous to varying degrees—Rin had been too, his first time.  Only _Haru_ would look more annoyed than anxious.

“Crew One, you’re up.”  Instructor Mayeda stood to the side of the boarding platform, also in a wetsuit, her black hair pulled back into a tight braid. 

There was uneasy laughter as the selected trainees separated from the main group and formed a line at the boarding platform.  Haru was second in line among the six-person crew.

“Do your best to stay calm,” Mayeda said as the technicians helped the trainees board the mockup and strap into their seats.  Rin eyed a couple students who were already starting to breathe hard.  “Remember, we do this as realistically as possible so that—God-forbid—if you go for an unexpected swim out there, you know what to do.  The safety divers are here to assist you.  Any questions?”

The crew looked back at her.  There were several petrified faces…and then there was Haru in the right pilot seat, face pressed as close to the window as his helmet allowed, gaze fixed on the water.

Rin sighed, readying his face mask.

“Safety divers in the water.”

“Hai.”  Rin slipped his regulator into his mouth, breathing tank air as he stepped into the pool. 

Cool water surrounded him, the wetsuit protecting him from the worst of the chill.  All went silent aside from his own breathing.  Trailing bubbles, he and Sousuke exchanged OK signs and took their positions on the left and right sides of the fuselage.

Rin waited while the technicians completed their final checks above.  Each trainee was required to give a thumbs-up to the instructor before the dunk (assuming no one panicked outright). 

It took a minute at most.  At the telltale hum of the apparatus, Rin’s stomach tightened in empathy, knowing how it felt to grip the straps of a five-point harness, to stare at the floor of the mockup and gulp for that last breath of air—

The fuselage flipped as it dropped, plunging the crew upside-down into the cold pool, where it stopped with a jolt, instantly full of water.

Rin swam up to it, hovering near tear-away panels between the egress doors—should he need to go in for someone—as the trainees wrestled with their harnesses. 

Haru slipped out of the front seat with ease, pushing the door open and exiting into the pool—no surprise; Rin wasn’t worried about him.  He scanned the other trainees for thrashing, signs of distress…

One cadet in the back sputtered in a cloud of bubbles, kicking at the floor and trying to wrench himself free—

Sousuke was right there.  The moment the cadet gave up on his harness, Sousuke reached in and pulled him out, taking him to the surface.

Rin monitored two women in the cabin as they untangled themselves from floating harness straps and felt their way to the main door.  They shoved it open and got out.  (For this run, all the doors were viable.  In future drills, they’d jam one or two, forcing the cadets to use the egress windows or other doors.)

The last trainee in the cabin followed them.

Everyone was clear, the fuselage doors winged open.  Rin surfaced, bobbing in the water as the crew climbed out of the pool in their sopping wet gear, exchanging shaky high-fives, relief on every face—all except _one_.

Haru remained in the pool, treading water in his flight suit.  He raised his hand.  “Mayeda-sensei?”

“Question, Nanase?”

“May I go again, ma’am?”

Rin fought the urge to face-plant into the water.  _Haru, damnit._

“Get out of the pool, Nanase.”

-x-

By the end of the session, most of the trainees were shivering.  As soon as Instructor Mayeda dismissed them, they bolted for the warm showers in the locker rooms.

Rin rinsed and checked in his diving gear, alongside Sousuke.  They’d both made a handful of rescues, fewer as the session went on.  It felt good—watching the trainees persevere, work through the stress, and help each other.  No one gave up, not even the cadets who struggled at first.  The ultimate team Rin dreamed of was forming right before his eyes; he was proud to be a part of it.

There was just…one thing he needed to do, as well.

“Lunch, Rin?”  Sousuke was already back in his uniform, gear bag slung over his shoulder. 

“Yeah, we’ll meet you.”  Rin settled his towel around his neck, still in his swimsuit.  “After I pry him out of the showers.”

Sousuke snorted.  “Good luck.”

Rin nodded.  _I’ll need it.  For multiple reasons._   “Thanks.”

He headed back to the communal shower area, resting his elbows on the half wall that separated the shower from the rest of the locker room.  Haru, in black square legs, was the last one lingering under the spray.

“Haru, let’s go.”

Haru merely turned his head, giving him an irritated look.

“Don’t make me come in there,” Rin muttered, glancing around.  With Sousuke gone, the locker room appeared to be empty…

Haru went back to pretending to ignore him.

 _Fine._   Rin dropped his towel on a bench, crossing wet tile…  It didn’t take much—mere glimpses of water gliding through muscular crevasses, the shine of wet skin—to remind him of _other_ showers in Yonago, in Tokyo… 

Haru seemed to be thinking the same thing as he glanced over his shoulder, wet hair slicked to his forehead, gaze running appreciatively down Rin’s body.  “We’re alone, Rin?”

“At the moment,” Rin murmured, slipping his arms around Haru’s shoulders as he stepped under the temperate spray, kissing lips that were still on the cold side.  “But we’re _not_ getting caught here.”

Haru turned in his arms, reeling him in until they were pressed flush, chests to their knees.  “We won’t get caught.”  He angled his head, kissing Rin back, their tongues meeting inside.

Rin couldn’t help a sound of pleasure, tightening his arms…  It was so damn tempting, but he pulled away before things got too heated.  “Later,” he whispered.

“Nn.”  Haru pouted.

“Because…”  Rin pressed his lips, hands sliding down to Haru’s.  “There’s something I need to show you.”

With a blink, curiosity replaced Haru’s frown.  He nodded his assent, Rin turning off the water and drawing him by the hand…

They dried off and dressed in their respective uniforms—slipping their rings on—before Rin led Haru out to the main lobby of the pool building.

“We didn’t go this way before.”

“Nope.”  Rin’s heart was pounding as he pulled his fiancé over to the glass case where the Academy swim team displayed their trophies and records.  “What do you think?” he asked, trying to play it casual like his palm wasn’t sweating against Haru’s as he nodded to the record list.  The ink was barely dry; his name next to the 100m and 200m free and 100m fly.  Rin grinned as Haru’s eyes went wide.  “Good enough to swim with you in April?”

Haru’s lips thinned into a trembling line, his eyes reddening and going glossy with moisture.  “From October?  Last month?”

“Ah.  There was a qualifying meet—”

“ _Rin_ —”

He got an armful of Haru, knocked back two full steps, warm droplets mashed against his cheek.

“But…   You…?”  Haru trembled, breath hitching, clutching Rin’s shirt in both hands.

Rin closed his eyes, holding his fiancé close.  _Because the most important team is us._   “I’ll give it a shot.  My times aren’t as good as yours, you know.  But _I want to_.” 

Haru’s tears dampened the collar of Rin’s shirt, his inhale labored.  At length, he drew back…  Haru’s smile was the most beautiful sight Rin had ever seen.

“You’ve got more than one dream, Rin?” Haru whispered.

Rin grinned, eyes stinging as he leaned their foreheads together.  “I’ve got tons, thanks to you.”  And he’d never felt so free.

* * *

Wednesday, November 10th, 2010

* * *

Zipping into an orange flight suit, next to Haru in the aircrew locker room, Rin was already smiling way too hard.  As if he could help it!  Orange was _not_ his color—he preferred their shirt and tie aircrew uniforms or the blue flight suit he’d worn in Sydney—but he’d wear _anything_ for the chance to share a flight deck with Haru.  He’d only been anticipating this moment since the _second_ Haru mentioned flight school (and fantasizing about it long before then, really).

“You’re excitable this morning,” Haru murmured, eyeing Rin askance as he stowed his ring safely in his bag, inside his locker.

“Shut up!  You are too.” 

Haru might not have been quivering like Rin was, but there was an undeniable spark in blue eyes.  He’d also been smiling a lot since they got their flight schedule last night.

 _Like now_.  Haru’s eyes warmed as he closed his locker, rubbing his ring finger as if it felt naked.

 _I need to get you something_.  Rin took his ring off, reaching into his flight bag for the chain he kept in the inner pocket.  Looping it securely through the ring, he slipped the chain over his head, tucking the ring inside his flight suit and T-shirt, to hang next to his skin.

“Where’d you get that?” Haru asked, watching.

“It was my dad’s.”  Rin smiled at the memory, touching the necklace through his clothes.

_“I want you to have this, Rin.”  Toraichi draped the chain over Rin’s palm.  “Back on the boat, I used to wear my wedding ring like this, so I wouldn’t accidentally lose it.”  He smiled, his gaze full of the past.  “It was my lifeline that day, waiting in the raft—to you and Gou and your mother.  It was when I knew I’d be coming home.”_

Rin reached for his fiancé’s hand, squeezing Haru’s fingers briefly.  “I’ll get you one, Haru.”

-x-

“Hiroshima Tower, Coast Guard nine-oh-three is airborne.  Coming around to heading one-five-five.”  Rin, in the left seat of the Bell 412 helicopter, unkeyed the mic to end the transmission, shamelessly staring as Haru operated the controls from the right seat, lifting them smoothly off the Coast Guard ramp.

_“Coast Guard nine-zero-three, roger.  Runway crossing is approved and contact Departure.  Good flight.”_

“Nine-oh-three is approved to cross the active.  Switching to departure.  Thanks.”

Haru used a light grip on the cyclic between his knees, tilting it just so to swivel them around, working it like the control was an extension of his arm, the motion as natural as breathing (or swimming).  He operated the collective in his left hand with the same ease, the tiny craft gaining altitude and speed at his whim, Haru sailing them across the airfield and over the tree line.

 _You only fly free, huh?_   Rin bit his lower lip, unsure if he was jealous or turned on or both…

Blue eyes flicked his direction.  “Admiring the way I handle stick, Rin?” Haru asked ( _not_ over interphone, thank God).

“Oi!”  _That’s a rhetorical question and you know it._   Rin glared at his lover, reaching for the radio controls to change frequencies.  “Departure, Coast Guard nine-oh-three is with you, climbing to two thousand feet, heading one-five-five.”

_“Coast Guard nine-zero-three, climb and maintain five thousand feet.”_

“Up to five for Nine-oh-three.”  Rin adjusted their target altitude.  With Haru’s eyes sparkling at him, he couldn’t help but grin back.

-x-

They spent the morning running drills with the _PLH-22 Yashima_ in the Pacific, southeast of Shikoku.  Haru flew, Rin working comms and pilot monitoring duties while Sousuke directed operations in the cabin.  Mayeda was on hand for instruction and critique through different chase drills (matching the ship’s speed with a winchline down to the deck) and recovery practice (where they landed on the _Yashima’s_ helipad and onloaded or offloaded the stretchers, volunteers from the _Yashima’s_ crew playing patients).

It was demanding work for the whole crew, especially for Haru with the hovering and multiple takeoffs and landings.  Rin was constantly on the radio with the ship as well as the cabin.  They got a breather whenever the helicopter was on deck, with Sousuke leading the paramedics in the back.  All of the communication bumps and hiccups got worked out quickly.  By late morning, their crew was humming, seamlessly operating as one team through the various scenarios Instructor Mayeda threw at them.

They had lunch onboard the _Yashima_ , getting to stretch their legs and tour the ship briefly.  Just prior to 13:00, they were lifting off again—fully refueled—for their afternoon sortie.  Sousuke took the front with Haru this time while Rin had the cabin, strapped in at the winch station with his headset on.

 _“Center, the weather you’re tracking is on the two-five-three radial from Shimizu, at twenty-five nautical miles?  Coast Guard nine-zero-three.”_   Sousuke had been on the radio with Air Traffic Control for the last five minutes, while Haru aimed them west (towards the general vicinity of the rainstorm) on their current flight clearance.

 _“Coast Guard nine-zero-three, affirmative.  Surface to seven thousand feet.  We’re routing traffic around the area.  …I understand you want clearance to that location?”_   The poor controller sounded perplexed.

_“Center, affirmative for Coast Guard nine-zero-three.  For training purposes, we’re requesting direct Shimizu, direct GEMMA, and linger in the weather for about one hour.”_

_“…Coast Guard nine-zero-three, I have your request.  Standby.”_

Rin smiled, keying his interphone mic as he gazed out the window at distant cloud formations.  “Poor guy’s juggling a zillion aircraft wanting to avoid the area and one trying to get in.”

 _“I guess chasing weather makes it hard to precoordinate,”_ Haru said over interphone. 

 _“That and our non-emergency status,”_ Sousuke said from the left seat.

Instructor Mayeda, sitting across from Rin, nodded.  “Yes to both.”

The radio crackled again.  _“Coast Guard nine-zero-three, you are cleared direct Shimizu, direct GEMMA.  Maneuvering is approved as requested, surface to three thousand feet, with deviations five nautical miles north and south of route.”_

Sousuke radioed back.  _“Center, Coast Guard nine-zero-three copies approved direct…”_   He rattled off the rest.

_“Coast Guard nine-zero-three, readback is correct.”_

The view out Rin’s window changed as Haru banked them southwest.

_“Sousuke, direct me to the sky water.”_

_“Haru, no one calls it that.”_   There was a short pause.  _“…But yeah, it’s in the box.  Look good?”_

_“Checks.”_

Rin chuckled to himself.

-x-

Twenty minutes into the turbulence and driving rain and low altitude flying over the swells, no one was having a good time anymore.  Rin wiped yet another lash of rain from his face, his gaze locked on the red buoy on the end of the winching line, as it slowly descended towards the waves.  The dummy weight attached to the line (to emulate a rescue swimmer) swayed in the same wind gusts Haru worked to compensate for.

The buoy dropped the final few meters…  Rin angled the light for a better view.  Wet hair clung to his face as he leaned out, the straps of his harness taut around his shoulders, and watched the splash as the buoy hit the waves.  “We’re down.”

 _“Got it.”_   Haru’s voice was tight as he fought to keep the heli in a steady hover, despite the elements.

 _“Five minutes to lift,”_ Sousuke said.

Rin spared one second to glance into the cabin.  “You guys doing OK?”

He got thumbs-up from the other members of the crew, though their faces betrayed how they really felt.  One of the cadets was nearly green as they took turns practicing vital sign checks on each other and CPR on a mannequin.  Rin couldn’t blame them.  He had a pretty iron-clad stomach, usually, but the ups and downs and side-to-side jostling still wasn’t pleasant.  At least he had a job to focus on.

Instructor Mayeda was the only one immune.  She had her arms folded over her harness, watching them hawkishly.  “We drill in the weather because you’ll _be_ in the weather.”

_Oh, time for her usual spiel…_

“You might feel the worst you’ve ever felt, but you’re going to push through and you’re going to stay functional—because lives are depending on you.  Sick sacks at the ready, Cadets.  We’re not calling it a day until at least one of you is throwing up.”

Rin hid a wince as he returned to the winch line.

-x-

“Sorry, Cadet Nishida…”  Haru looked sheepish as the cadet who’d gotten ill climbed out of the helicopter, leaning on one of the other paramedic trainees.

“Oh, don’t worry about it, Nanase-kun.  You did great.”  Nishida gave Haru a thumbs-up, managing a weak smile as the others helped him across the ramp.

Haru hugged his helmet to his chest, eyes still troubled.

Rin draped an arm across his shoulders.  “Don’t feel bad.  I got two sick on my first weather flight.”

Haru inhaled and let his breath out slowly.  His gaze flicked to Sousuke.

“None,” Sousuke said, finger-combing his hair to its spiky normal, his helmet tucked under his arm.  “So Mayeda-sensei made us refuel and go out again.  I got one on the second flight.”

“See?”  Rin gently shook his lover’s shoulder.  “It’s all part of the training.  Gotta know your limits.  That goes for everyone onboard.”

Haru relaxed the slightest bit.  “Ah.”

They headed in through the hangar, following a well-lit corridor to the briefing room.  Instructor Mayeda, in her matching orange flight suit, was waiting for them.

“Logbook, Nanase?”

“Hai.”  Haru produced the black, leather-bound book from his flight bag, bowing as he handed it over.

Mayeda took out a pen, signing the entries for the day’s flights.  “How’d it feel out there?”

Haru didn’t hesitate.  “I want to do more for my crew, next time.”

Their instructor arched a brow.  “You flew your best today?”

“Yes.”  Haru’s hands curled at his sides.  “But I can do better.”

Mayeda smiled in approval, closing the logbook and setting her pen aside.  “Never lose that attitude.  That’ll keep you sharp for your crew, and for the lives depending on your team.  If you ever feel like you’ve arrived, that’s when you need to step back and check yourself.”  Her expression sobered.  “We can’t run scenarios for everything you’ll face out there.  But we _will_ drill the fundamentals until you can do them in your sleep.  That way, no matter what the call is, when it comes, you’ll know what to do.”  She held out the logbook.  “Nice flying, Nanase.”

“Ah.”  Haru bowed low, accepting the book.  “Thank you, Mayeda-sensei.”

 _Haru_.  Rin was beaming like an idiot as he watched the exchange, though he tried not to let it show on his face.

“As for your technical debrief, all three of you…”  Mayeda tapped a _full page_ of handwritten notes.  “Have a seat.”  She smiled.  “And get comfortable.”

Rin bit back a groan, the three of them dropping into chairs across from their instructor.

-x-

They got to campus in time for dinner, then headed back to the dorms.  Haru stripped down to his undershirt and boxer briefs, climbing up into Rin’s bunk with barely more than a grunt.  Within seconds, he was asleep.

 _Been there_.  Rin smiled to himself, folding Haru’s uniform shirt and trousers.  He placed the articles neatly on his desk chair before attending to his own clothes. 

Sousuke peered into the top bunk.  “Out like a light.”  He turned away, eyes warm with mirth as he stripped off his shirt.

“Six hours of intense focus.  You remember how it feels.”

“Yeah.”  Sousuke sat down on the lower bunk.  “He did good out there.  So did you.  Honestly, I thought you’d be bossy and overbearing, but you did fine.”

Rin snorted.  “Haru doesn’t need me to do that.”  _Hell, he handles stick better than I do._

“Nope.”  Sousuke stretched out on his back, hands behind his head.  “What Mayeda-sensei said…  Is that how you felt, in Sydney?”

Rin leaned against his desk, arms folded over his undershirt.  “Yeah.  Captain Kelly would brief us en route.  We never really knew what we were dealing with until we got there.  So you just…be prepared for anything, as much as that’s possible.”

Sousuke’s gaze flicked to him, a half-smile on his lips.  “Ever wish we picked something easier, Rin?”

“No.”  Rin smiled back.  “You?”

“Nah.  Though I guess that’s easy enough to say when all I’ve done so far is train.”  Yawning, Sousuke rolled over.  “Have a good nap.”

“Mn.  You too.”

Rin flicked off the lights and climbed up into his bunk.

Haru was sprawled across the entire mattress, passed out on Rin’s pillow.

“Could’ve gone back to your own room,” Rin muttered, gazing fondly at his fiancé as he pried one edge of the blanket free, to slip underneath.

Haru stirred as Rin slid in beside him, tossing an arm and a leg across Rin’s body and snuggling in.  “Rin,” he whispered.

Rin exhaled as he pulled Haru close, the two of them sharing a pillow and the same moist air.  _We make one hell of a team, the three of us._   He brushed an errant shard of black hair from his lover’s forehead, leaning in to press a kiss to the same spot.  At the same time…  _I wonder if I’ll ever regret asking you to do this with me._   “Love you,” Rin whispered, closing his eyes.

He pushed the thought away.  Some things were just too hard to think about.

-x-

Rin’s dreams were a strange amalgamation of their training, the weather, and his father’s fishing boat listing in stormy seas.  He woke with a gasp, alone, stomach tightening as he reached across the vacant spot beside him—

…Until he was conscious enough to peer at the clock, noting it was well after curfew.  Rin felt around for his phone.  Haru’s text was waiting.

_[Oyasumi, Rin.]_

He sighed, his sleep-addled brain soaking up the relief like a sponge.  Rin pushed the phone away, pressing his face into the pillow.

* * *

Friday, November 12th, 2010

* * *

The remainder of the week passed swiftly.  All too soon, they were back on the Coast Guard ramp at Hiroshima airport, trading goodbyes on a clear Autumn day.  Privately, they’d said everything this morning—with words and without.  The collar of Haru’s flight school shirt was just tall enough to cover a red mark on the side of his neck—Rin had a matching one, the urgency of their lovemaking still vivid in his mind.

And yet, Rin was unsettled.  (This would never get easier, probably.)  He tried not to think about the weeks of separation; he tried not to worry.  But, hell, maybe it was genetic.

Haru smiled with his eyes, his gaze warm and wistful.  “Love you.  Itte kimasu.”

 _Fuck it._   Rin threw his arms around his fiancé’s shoulders, squeezing tight.  “Love you, too.  Be careful.”

“I will.”  Haru hugged him back.  “You too, Rin.”

“Ah.”

They parted with a wave, Haru joining his classmates, boarding the Beechcraft bound for Miyagi.

Rin lingered on the ramp through engine start, taxi, and takeoff, watching until the plane was less than a speck in the sky.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Trigger Warning** for scenes/descriptions of the 2011 East Japan Earthquake and Tsunami. ****Please use discretion****
> 
> ~~/deep breath, eyes closed, hit post button...~~
> 
> The quake is mentioned here as magnitude 8.9, as reported at the time. It was later upgraded to M9.1 [[Ref](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2011_T%C5%8Dhoku_earthquake_and_tsunami)].

* * *

_Winter 2010-2011_

* * *

_The Pacific typhoon season of 2010 was one of the quietest to date, without a single storm making landfall in Japan.  “Quiet” was a relative term, referencing the quantity and severity of the storms.  That was no consolation to families who lost loved ones and homes and everything, the season accumulating close to $3 billion USD in damages and nearly 400 deaths across East Asia._

_Rin never liked statistics.  Faceless, nameless numbers on a Wikipedia page couldn’t describe how—for those involved, whether many or few—the world shattered and was slowly pieced together again.  Rescue was one person at a time.  His classes covered case studies of typhoons, floods, and capsized vessels—individual rescues as well as the coordination of wide-scale relief efforts where resources determined time and time meant everything to the survival of that one child or parent or grandparent._

_He wrote papers that winter—along with Sousuke and their classmates—critically analyzing emergency responses and the subsequent results, his courses focused specifically on decision-making and triage._

_…Not that heavy subject matter kept him from enjoying the week he spent with Haru at the Nanase house in Iwatobi, between Christmas and New Year’s.  It was just the two of them, though they also hung out with Sousuke, Makoto, Nagisa, and their other friends when they wanted company.  (Nagisa seemed endlessly surprised that they answered the door fully clothed, each time.)  Aside from a few trace flurries, it never got cold enough for the snow to stick.  They made plenty of memories buried under the covers of Haru’s bed, making love slowly while it rained outside, or cuddled up with books and steaming cups of tea, their legs tangled underneath the kotatsu blanket._

_It was a blissful week, a glimpse of the future life they wanted and full of nostalgia (especially when Rin found their sixth grade yearbook, which launched three days of teasing each other about essays written when they were twelve).  Daily, they went to the pool to train together, walking back along the beach, bundled up in wool coats, leaving side-by-side footprints in the sand.  The water, in the pool and in the sea, had brought them to each other, connected them and tied them together.  It flowed around them, shaping their past, their now, inseparable from their someday dreams._

_“You like it, right?”  Rin grinned at their reflection in the mirror, soaking up the pleasure in blue eyes as Haru ran thumb and forefinger over the chain Rin had gifted him, the smooth linkages glittering in the lamp light.  “I got it because it shimmers like water, but it’s sturdy too.”_

_Haru smiled, meeting Rin’s gaze in the mirror, his hand covering the chain and dangling ring, pressing both to his heart.  “Rin, it’s perfect.”_

-x-

_On a quiet, sunny day in late winter / early spring, the water they loved changed everything._

* * *

Friday, March 11th, 2011

* * *

“Swimmer two’s away.”  Rin monitored Sousuke’s thirty-foot plunge into the downwash, the helicopter’s four blades rhythmically slicing the air overhead.  There was a splash, Sousuke vanishing briefly underwater before buoyancy devices popped him to the surface, his bright orange wetsuit easily visible against the blue-white sea.  “Swimmer’s in the water—” 

Sousuke turned, hand-signaling up to them—his arm raised and curved into an O-shape, hand touching the top of his head.

“—We’ve got the OK.”  Rin gave a thumbs-up in reply, braced against the open door, rotor wash whipping across his cheeks.

Down below, Sousuke shifted onto his stomach, starting a front crawl in swimmer one’s direction.

“Swimmer two’s en route to swimmer one.”  Rin leaned back as he unkeyed the mic, taking some of the tension off the straps of his harness.

 _“Ready to go to winch height, Rin?”_ Haru asked from up front.

“Ready.”  He glanced at his task card, clipped to the sidewall just inside the door.  “This one’s from a hundred-fifty feet.  One-five-zero.”

 _“Rog.  Heading up to one-fifty.”_  

As Haru smoothly raised them higher—Sousuke and the other swimmer shrinking to orange specks in the water—Rin withheld a sigh.  This was the last exercise.  After Rin winched their swimmers back into the helicopter, they would return to base at Hiroshima Airport.  Haru had an evening flight back to Miyagi.  Technically, Haru should’ve left this morning and been back to Sendai Airport by lunchtime, but a shuffle to the flight schedule earlier this week had Instructor Mayeda rescheduling Haru’s final check ride for this afternoon. 

They were already on borrowed time.  Rin wasn’t about to complain. 

_“Vietnam Airlines three-eight-four, amendment to your route.  Enter a holding pattern at OOITA, that is Oscar-Oscar-India-Tango-Alpha.  Remain this frequency.”_

The VHF radio crackled in Rin’s headset as the airline responded.  _“Fukuoka Control, Vietnam three-eight-four will hold at OOITA.  For planning purposes, how long can we expect for the delay?”_

 _“Vietnam Airlines three-eight-four, further instructions will be provided once established in the hold.”_   The controller hardly took a breath.  _“ANA two-five-four, amendment to your route.  Enter a holding pattern at ZOROH, that is Zulu-Oscar-Romeo-Oscar-Hotel.  Remain this frequency.”_

_“We will hold at ZOROH, ANA two-five-four.”_

_“China Eastern five-two-one, amendment to your route.  Enter a holding pattern at AILEY, Alpha-India-Lima-Echo-Yankee—”_

Rin barely registered the first call to hold (it was a normal, though not daily occurrence—holds for weather or if a runway closed because a malfunctioning aircraft had to be towed off…) but by the third call in clear blue skies, he was paying attention.  These were airliners on routes bound for Tokyo, where there was always another runway…

With the fourth hold call followed closely by the fifth, the controller’s voice tightening by the second, cold seeped into Rin’s chest.  Glancing into the cabin, he found the same silent question on every face— _what’s going on?_   His gaze locked with Haru’s just as the radio crackled again.

_“Coast Guard three-nine-eight, this is Hiroshima Base on mission frequency.  Do you read?”_

Haru’s classmate, Yanagi, had the radios from the left seat.  _“Hiroshima Base, this is Coast Guard three-nine-eight.”_

_“Coast Guard three-nine-eight, discontinue your training flight and return to base.”_

_Oh God._ Rin gripped the door handle, hardly breathing.

Yanagi let out a tense breath.  _“Sir, may we ask what happened?”_

_“Coast Guard three-nine-eight, we’ll explain on the ground.  Do you copy your instructions?”_

_“Yes, sir.  Coast Guard three-nine-eight will discontinue and return to base.  Be advised we have two swimmers in the water to retrieve before we can start inbound.”_

_“Base copies, Three-nine-eight.  No delay, please.  Use priority status with Fukuoka Control on your return.”_

_“Roger, Three-nine-eight…”_

For a second, they all just looked at each other—everyone except Instructor Mayeda.  She still had her clipboard in hand; Rin knew she’d intervene if she needed to.  But given that she _wasn’t_ meant she trusted them to take the right actions.

Haru cleared his throat from the right seat, his gaze breaking from Rin’s.  _“I’ll bring us around.  Rin, ready on the signal lights?”_

Rin took a breath and keyed his mic.  “You got it, Haru.  Standby for winch checklist.”

_“Standing by.”_

Within minutes, they had Sousuke and their other swimmer winched into the helicopter and the cabin buttoned up.

Sousuke, strapped in and toweling off, read his face with one glance.  “Something’s happened?”

Rin nodded.  “We don’t know what.”

Up front, Yanagi broke into the increasingly frequent, increasingly tense ATC comms.  _“Fukuoka Control, Coast Guard three-nine-eight is requesting priority, direct Hiroshima Airport.  Any altitude.”_

_“Coast Guard three-nine-eight, priority transit to Hiroshima Airport is approved.  Climb and maintain six thousand feet and contact Hiroshima Approach.”_

Haru programmed the altitude target while Yanagi acknowledged ATC’s instructions.  As they started their climb towards the coast, Rin looked out the window at the water, at the ships in port, at the trains and trees below.  The dread mounted in his stomach. 

They were over land when he realized he had his chain and ring in hand—his lifeline, clutched in his fist.

-x-

Hiroshima’s terminal ramp was full of aircraft—they were even starting to park planes on the taxiway.  The runway was still clear, not that their helicopter needed it.  Haru set them down on the Coast Guard ramp, next to two other birds while ground crews pulled a fourth from the hangar.

They’d just stepped out onto concrete when the ground shuddered beneath Rin’s feet.  His heart leapt into his throat.  _Earthquake?_   The rumbling went on for several seconds before subsiding, similar to other tremors Rin had experienced, but the radio calls, the planes, the ashen looks on the faces of the ground crew…nothing was normal about this quake.

“That’s the third aftershock,” a member of the ground crew mumbled as they resumed their duties, starting quick-turn checks on the Bell 412 helicopter.

“Where’s Station Commander Harada?” Instructor Mayeda asked.

“He’s in the Control Room, ma’am.” 

As she strode off in that direction, they all followed. 

Behind Sousuke and Yanagi, Rin and Haru fell in together, carrying their helmets, exchanging silent looks full of questions with no answers. 

The control room was packed with people, every station manned, screens showing live news coverage as well as Coast Guard dedicated feeds and radar tracking of Coast Guard assets.  Rin caught snippets—

_14:46 JST - 8.9 magnitude quake off the Tohoku coast, near Sendai_

_Narita and Haneda airports closed for damage inspections_

_Tsunami warnings and immediate evacuation orders for Iwate, Miyagi, and Fukushima prefectures_

The images on the screen couldn’t be real— _rivers_ of water surging through the streets of Kamaishi, just 150km north of Sendai, tearing whole buildings from their foundations, flooding to the fourth and fifth stories of structures, clouds of dust rising into the air—  Within _minutes_ , the little port was engulfed, debris-strewn water swirling around the tallest buildings while evacuees looked on from the ridge above the city…

Reality coalesced slowly, time moving in individual heartbeats as the pieces came together in Rin’s mind.  Ice replaced the blood in his veins, his helmet slipping through his hands to clatter against the floor as he stared at Haru.

_You were supposed to be in Miyagi._

Haru wasn’t blinking, the news coverage of the first tsunami waves reflected in cold horror in his eyes.  He was stiff and still as Rin embraced him, as Rin pushed his face against black hair and clung to him, shaking—just to reassure himself that Haru was really here, not there—

“—Commander Harada, my students?”  Mayeda’s voice was breathless and tight.

“Miyagi air station has been evacuated.  However, we’re still awaiting word from the evacuation site—”

Rin gathered himself with a hard breath, gripping Haru’s shoulders as he pulled back to arms’ length.  “Haru.”

There was no reply, just Haru’s blank expression as he continued to stare at the screens.

“Haru, _damnit_.”  Rin caught Haru’s face between both hands, forcing Haru to look at him. 

Haru finally blinked, seeing him, letting out a shuddering breath.  “Rin—”  He reached up to grip Rin’s arms.

Rin dropped his hands to Haru’s shoulders, clutching muscle through layers of orange flight suit.  “Does your mom know you’re here and not in Miyagi?”

Haru’s gaze swam with thought, Rin only waiting for two seconds. 

“Your phone.  Call her.  Tell her you’re here with me.  I’ll call Makoto.”

Haru nodded, immediately reaching for a pocket. 

Rin let go to do the same.  He took his phone out of airplane mode, tapping through his contacts and staring at the screen until he had a signal— 

“Mom.”  Haru was on the phone next to him.  “Calm down.  I’m OK.  I’m still in Hiroshima with Rin—”

Rin’s phone connected on the third try.

 _“Rin!  Have you heard from Haru?”_   Makoto’s voice, panicked, filled his ear.

“He’s here with me in Hiroshima.  He’s fine.”

 _“Oh, thank God.”_   Makoto’s breath came out in a rush.

“What about you?”

_“I’m OK.  We were still in class when the shaking started.  God, I’ve never felt anything like that before.  It went on for so long.  I’m not sure the extent of the damage.  Trains aren’t running, power’s out in some places.  The phones—I’m surprised you got through, actually.”_

“Probably shouldn’t stay on long,” Rin murmured.  “Have you talked to your parents?”

 _“Yeah, they know I’m OK.”_   Makoto paused.  _“Rin, have you seen the news—the waves?”_

Rin glanced at the nearest screen, at shaky hand-filmed footage of the water pouring over tsunami walls, consuming cars and homes and everything—  “Yeah.”

_“…Think you guys will get deployed?”_

“Don’t know.”  Rin exhaled, closing his eyes briefly.  “Stay safe, Makoto.”

_“You too.”_

Rin hung up.

“Makoto?” Haru asked.

“He’s OK.”  They linked hands tightly, turning back to the screens.

News coverage had returned to Tokyo, showing earthquake damage and emergency crews fighting fires around the city.

Station Commander Harada and Instructor Mayeda were crowded around the screen showing Coast Guard assets across a map of Japan.  There was a flashing red _Offline_ icon at Miyagi Air Station.

“The SRT will be launching from Tokyo,” Harada said, “though part of the team is needed locally.  Niigata Air Station has already sent support to Iwate, to help the Self-Defense Force with evacuations.  We’ve been asked to send reinforcements, along with Chitose Air Station.  Nagoya is coordinating the response by sea.”

“How long until we launch?” Mayeda asked.

“The birds are fueled up and ready to go.  I’ve got two launching as we speak.  Waiting on reserve pilots for the others—”

“I’ve got pilots right here.”

Rin drew a slow breath, his heart pounding.  This was why he’d joined the Coast Guard in the first place—to save lives, to rescue people—  Did he feel ready, though?  For this?  _How the hell does anyone prepare for something like this?_

Mayeda’s eyes were flinty as she turned around, finding the four of them.  “Nanase, Yanagi, your logbooks.”

Haru let go of Rin’s hand to pull the book from his flight bag, handing it over.

“Usually, you’d get a graduation ceremony first.”  Mayeda flipped pages, grabbing a pen from her pocket.  “Not this time.  Congratulations, you’re now Coast Guard First Officers.”  Her voice was tight as she handed the books back.  “Listen up, all four of you.”  She made eye contact with each of them.  “We’re going to do _everything_ we can.  Is that understood?”

Adrenaline surged through Rin’s veins, a fierce determination rising up inside him at her words.  His hands curled at his sides. 

“Yes, ma’am.”  They answered in unison without a speck of hesitation.

Mayeda read their faces and nodded.  “Matsuoka, Yamazaki, get changed.  Nanase and Yanagi, let’s file some flight plans.”

_“Hai.”_

-x-

Rin was zipping up his orange flight suit when his phone buzzed on the bench near him.  The text message was from his dad.

_[Saw your guys’ names on the deployment roster.  Don’t doubt a thing, Rin.  You’ve been training for this moment for years.  You’ve got this.  I already told your Mom and Gou.  Check in when you can.  I love you.]_

_Dad…_   Rin gripped the phone, inhaling.  _[Thanks, Dad.  Love you too.]_

-x-

It was a two-and-a-half hour flight from Hiroshima to Niigata, Rin flying right seat while Haru handled radios from the left.  They were a flight of two, Sousuke and Yanagi in the second helicopter with Instructor Mayeda, a safe distance off their right side.

The airwaves were crowded with air carriers trying to divert and frantic air traffic controllers finding spots for them to land.  Airports large enough to handle commercial traffic were closing one after another with full ramps.  A few airplanes declared fuel emergencies, landing at Niigata and in Sapporo.

Rin let the autopilot do the work.  More than once, he wiped sweaty palms on his knees, especially just prior to 4pm when ATC declared that Sendai Tower was offline.  The controllers didn’t elaborate…Rin feared the worst.  The airport was right on the water.  He’d flown the approach to runway 27 countless times, turning final over the Pacific and sweeping down to the threshold; Haru had too.

Their gazes met often during the flight, incidental touches as they reached for their instruments further cementing the reality that they were together, that Haru was safe, that things hadn’t gone the way it could have.  Rin stocked up those little reassurances, not letting himself dwell on the what if’s and other scenarios.  Because people were dying and they had a job to do.

-x-

_“Coast Guard three-nine-eight, flight of two, you are cleared to land.  Put down wherever there’s space.”_

Haru keyed the mic, the sky outside their windows dusky, the sun already below the horizon.  “Niigata Tower, Coast Guard three-nine-eight, flight of two, copies landing clearance.  We’ll put down on the edge of Apron-Sierra.  Do we need to keep Taxiway Sierra clear?”

Looking out the window, Rin doubted it.  Planes were parked _on_ runway 04-22.  None of the jetliners were going anywhere soon.

_“Negative, Coast Guard three-nine-eight.  Thanks for the help.”_

“Copy, Three-nine-eight.”

Rin squeezed his mic switch for mission frequency.  “Sousuke, go ahead.  Pads three and five.  I’ll land next to you.”

_“Got it, Rin.”_

They landed on the south edge of the apron, tail rotors extending into the taxiway.  The ramp was crowded with Coast Guard and General Aviation aircraft, though theirs were the only Coast Guard helis.  The others must have deployed already.

Ground crew came out to meet them as they shutdown their engines.  There was one uniformed officer among them.

“Commander Mayeda.”  The man saluted.  “If you and the pilots would follow me to the briefing room while the ground crew refuels.”

“Ah.”

They crossed the ramp to the white and blue Coast Guard Air Station building on the northwest side of the apron.  The officer led them to a briefing room, attached to the hangar.  Inside, rescue crews were assembled, though Rin only saw two people in flight suits.  The man at the head of the room had the air station commander’s insignia on his navy blue uniform.

He came to greet them.  “Commander Mayeda, Pilots.”

“Commander Fujioka.”

“Sir.”  Rin and the others saluted. 

“We haven’t yet heard from all of the Miyagi air station personnel, but the students are fully accounted for, many sheltering at a middle school in Iwanuma.”

Mayeda’s exhale of relief was echoed by the rest of them.  “Thank you, Commander.”

“Of course.”  The man nodded, gesturing to open seats in the room.  “If you’ll take a seat, we’ll get started.”

-x-

The last traces of indigo were fading into night as they departed Niigata Airport with a full load of fuel, Rin flying, Haru in the left seat, and Kaneshiro—from Niigata—in the seat behind them as safety pilot and mission commander.

It took forty-minutes to get to Sendai, flying over the mountains before descending towards the eastern coast.  Once familiar terrain looked alien—pockets of lights, wide swaths of darkness, and the hellish red-orange glow of fires against ink-black flood waters.  Sendai airport was submerged, their search lights gliding over cars and small aircraft littered across the airfield like toys.

Kaneshiro coordinated with the other search-and-rescue aircraft in the area and they turned south, towards Iwanuma, where SDF ground personnel had called in for med-evac.

Rin usually loved night flying—the calm, the quiet, the blanket of lights below like golden stars.  None of that applied tonight.  Sweat dotted his brow, adrenaline coursing through his veins; he lost count of the number of times he gripped the cyclic and whispered beneath his breath, _Please God don’t let me fuck this up_ —  It was the longest flight of his life.

-x-

Well after 10pm, they landed in Niigata, handing off to the overnight flight team while the ground crew brought the refuel truck.  Air station personnel had cleared out the second-floor office area for the Hiroshima and Chitose crews, providing futons and stacks of meals from local convenience stores.  Rin felt guilty for a five-minute shower, for being _required_ to get eight hours of crew rest before going up again—thinking about the rescue personnel who would be working through the night, the evacuees huddled in shelters, and the survivors trapped among the rubble.

But no amount of coffee kept the fatigue from dropping him.  His mind raced, yet his body wasn’t functional.  In their dark corner of the cleared office space, futons laid out between Sousuke and Yanagi—both of whom were out already—Rin stared up at the ceiling without blinking, clutching Haru’s hand.

There were no words to be said.  Haru said nothing, and neither did he.  At some point, Rin closed his eyes and fell asleep.

* * *

Saturday, March 12th, 2011

* * *

Rin woke to the room shaking violently, desks rattling, light fixtures swaying—  It was still the dead of night, the punch of fear coming with panicked voices, rapid footsteps—

“Rin!”

“Haru—”  They found each other in the dark.

“Away from the windows.”  Sousuke gave them a shove; they scrambled from their futons towards the center of the room in their undershirts and sweatpants, trying not to collide with anyone.

The tremors finally died down, the room going quiet…

Rin breathed in and out slowly, sitting on the floor, wrapped up with Haru like they were little kids during their first earthquake.

“Everyone OK?” someone asked.

Another voice piped up.  “…Anyone still asleep?”

Hesitant chuckles followed.

“No,” Sousuke said, from Rin’s right.

“I’m gonna turn on the lights…”

The sudden glare burned Rin’s eyes.  He blinked and squinted until his eyes adjusted, noting that he and Haru weren’t the only ones hugging it out.  Everyone was on edge, nervous laughter echoing across the room as they found each other OK.

“Aftershock, huh?”  A few of the Chitose guys went to look out the windows.

“I’ll check it out downstairs.”  Sousuke nudged Rin’s shoulder as he got up.

“Ah.”  Rin didn’t move.

“Yanagi?” Haru asked.

Yanagi rolled onto his back on the carpet, wincing as he gave Haru a thumbs-up.  “I’m good, so long as the sirens don’t start up.”

 _Yeah, no kidding._   Rin buried his face in Haru’s hair and sighed.

It took twenty minutes for the news to come back—6.7 magnitude quake, centered north-northeast of Nagano, inland, no tsunami warning issued.

The Hiroshima and Chitose crews straightened futons and cautiously resettled, turning the lights off.

“Like I’m gonna be able to fucking sleep,” Rin muttered, staring up at the ceiling for the second time.

“Gotta try,” Sousuke said.  “We’re flying in a couple of hours.”

Rin sighed.  “Yeah.  I’ll just be a minute.”  He grabbed his phone and got up, leaving the room quietly.

In the stairwell, Rin sat down in the glow of the exit lights.  His lockscreen picture was a Bell helicopter flight deck, Haru on the right and Rin on the left, both of them looking back at the camera, smiling and eager, with Hiroshima airfield beyond the front windows.  Sousuke took the picture in November, last year, to commemorate their first flight together.

Looking at the photo now filled him with guilt all over again.  Because he’d _asked_.  Years ago and he’d never pestered Haru about it, _but_ …  For how big he’d talked back then, for all of his dreams and bravado about saving people…  He’d dragged Haru along.  Rin reached for the chain he wore, clutching the ring, the metal warming in his grasp.  They were in it now.  This was real.  He’d know, coming out of this, if it was all a mistake from the beginning.

When the door opened behind him, Rin gathered himself with a breath, slipping his phone into his pocket and scooting to the side so he wouldn’t block anyone.

…But the near-silent footsteps were familiar, Haru dropping to sit on the step behind him, face buried in Rin’s hair, arms snaking around his waist.

The emotion came rushing back, hot in Rin’s eyes.  He draped his arms over Haru’s, holding Haru as Haru held him.  The ring and chain Haru wore pressed against Rin’s spine.  Several moments passed in silence, ticked away in heartbeats and breathing…until Haru finally spoke.

“Rin, I don’t think I ever told you.”  The words were whispered into Rin’s hair.  “After you left Iwatobi—the spring we all started middle school—Makoto and I went to Tottori to see the Coast Guard ships…”

Rin’s breath caught.  “You did?”

Haru nodded.  “Makoto asked one of the officers if she ever got scared.  She said, yeah, of course.  But she did it because the people out there were more scared—the people waiting at home, too.  She worked through the fear because they’re more important.”  Haru’s breath came out in a puff against the back of Rin’s neck.  “I get it.  I mean, I thought I understood then, but now, I really…”

 _Haru…_   Rin swallowed, blinking back the threatening tears.

“I feel silly admitting this, but, everyone we helped last night—the med evacs and the stranded group we waited with until there were enough aircraft to lift everyone—and the whole time we were searching for people…  I thought of them all as Makoto.  When he was little and scared of everything.”  Haru paused, chuckling faintly.  “Well, he’s still scared of everything.  But seeing their relief, how the fear subsided a bit…”  He took a deep breath, his voice breaking softly.  “Rin, let’s do our best to help as many people as we can tomorrow, and the next day, and the next—”

“Haru…”  Rin sniffed hard, clutching Haru’s hands.  “You’re sure you don’t regret it?”

“Huh?”  Haru lifted his head.  “You think I’d rather be in Tokyo, watching this on the news, _watching the water kill people_ , and not be able to do a thing, even this much?  _That’s_ what I’d regret.”

The tears spilled down Rin’s cheeks, one after another.  He squeezed Haru’s hands, overcome.

Haru laced their fingers together, hugging him tighter.  “You know what, Rin?”

“Hm?”

“I love you.”

Rin managed a smile through his tears.  “I knew that, Haru.”

“I’m just…gonna tell you more often from now on, OK?”

 _Me too._   Rin turned in his fiancé’s arms, pressing his tear-stained face to Haru’s.  “ _Love_ _you_.”

-x-

That morning, the sun rose over lives and a landscape forever altered by the sea.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Trigger Warning:** Grief/grieving, mentions of PTSD, mentions of suicidal thoughts. 
> 
> Brief adult/nsfw content.

* * *

Saturday, April 9th, 2011

* * *

“Purple?”  Aimi offered the crayon, gripped in tiny fingers.

Haru smiled.  “Should I use this one next?”

The little girl nodded, the brim of Haru’s JCG cap—too big for her small head—falling low on her forehead.

Haru poked the cap upwards with the tip of his finger.  “OK.”  He opened his hand, letting Aimi plop the crayon into his palm.  “What do you think?” he asked, glancing down at the paper beneath his fingertips—sunshine, blue sky, green grass, and red butterflies.  “Some flowers maybe?”

“Nyanko!”  Aimi pointed to a blank spot on the paper.

As Haru started in, drawing a purple cat crouched among the blades of grass, her eyes widened with delight. 

“Nyanko’s watching the butterfly!”  Aimi pressed close to the paper, her gaze locked on every stroke of Haru’s crayon, as if she couldn’t wait to see what might emerge next.  “Is he gonna catch it?”

Haru winked at her.  “The butterfly’s fast.  He’ll be fine.”

Aimi’s giggle was sweet music to Haru’s ears.  They were sitting together on the gymnasium floor, a polite distance away from the blankets and mats the evacuees called home.  There were five kids, including Aimi, sharing the crayon box and decorating their papers.  Another group of children clustered around Rin, nearby.

“Ready?  This is the final step,” Rin said, six kids leaning in around him.  “Just fold the wings out like this and tadaa!”  He held up the final product—a colorful and crisply folded paper airplane.

“Ahh!  Mine doesn’t look like that.”  “Rin-nii, show me again!”  “Mine’s gonna fly the farthest!”  “No, mine!”  Several of the kids jumped up, running for the bleachers.

Rin called after them.  “Make sure the runway’s clear!”

“Hai!!”

Haru added orange stripes to the purple cat (why not?) as Rin helped other kids finish their planes, including the little boy wearing his blue JCG cap.  Once they were all done, Rin came over.

“OK, who’s next?”

“Me!”  “Me!!”  The children waved their crayon-decorated papers.  “Show me next!!”

“Hai hai.”  Rin smiled, kneeling down at Haru’s side.  Their shoulders brushed, warm through the sleeves of their navy blue JCG uniforms, and their eyes met briefly, tenderly.  The circles under Rin’s eyes had been there for weeks now (as had Haru’s), yet fatigue did nothing to diminish love shared with a glance.  Pink dusted Rin’s cheeks as he turned back to the kids.  “Alright, Oniichan will show you how to make the best paper airplane.”  Rin grabbed an abandoned sheet of paper—one of the coloring rejects, though Haru thought the contrasting scribbles of bright yellow, red, green, and blue were quite nice.  “First, pick which side you want to show.  This is where the wings will be.”

A tiny hand patted Haru’s.  “Haru-nii?”  Aimi pointed to the picture of the purple cat.  “Can you help?”

“Ah.”  Haru smiled at her, flipping the paper over and starting to fold.

They used the lines of the basketball court to mark which plane flew the longest…and the shortest.  Some planes tumbled immediately to the floor, which made the whole group giggle.  They played until the phone buzzed in Haru’s pocket.

He felt Rin’s gaze as he took it out, silencing the alarm.  Meeting the wordless question in crimson eyes, Haru nodded.

It had only been a week, yet the kids knew what that quiet exchange meant.  “Rin-nii, Haru-nii, you have to go?”  The children crowded around both of them, clutching their paper airplanes.  “Can you come back tomorrow?”

“Ah.”  Rin retrieved his JCG cap, slipping it on and ruffling the boy’s hair.  “We’ll be back.  Work on your airplanes until then, huh?”

“Hai!”

They extracted themselves from the group, grabbing their jackets and heading to another part of the gym where Sousuke and Yanagi were making kites out of newspaper with a few of the older children.

Sousuke looked up as they approached.  “It’s that time?”

“Ah.”  Haru dipped his head. 

Sousuke and Yanagi got to their feet, brushing dust from the knees of their uniform slacks.  The kids got up too, looking earnestly at the JCG pilots.

“It’s supposed to be nice tomorrow,” Sousuke said.  “Tell me how they fly, alright?”

“Hai!”  The kids bowed like young cadets.  “Thank you, Sousuke-kun, Takeshi-kun!”

“Ah.”  Sousuke and Yanagi bowed in reply.  “Until tomorrow.”

As the children went back to gushing over each other’s handiwork, the four Coast Guard members quietly retreated, returning bows from parents and guardians as they headed for the exit.  The adults’ faces were weary, but their smiles were genuine.  It wasn’t much—a few hours here and there when the flight schedule allowed; Haru wished he could do so much more.  _But_ , if he could ease their burden even a little…he wanted to try. 

Their daily custom, leaving the shelter, was to stop by the wall of pictures and notes written to loved ones still not accounted for.  The numbers changed every day; last Haru heard, it was over 12,000 dead and thousands more missing—Aimi’s mother among them.  The four of them stood in a row, heads bowed, palms pressed together, paying their silent respects.  _Please God._   Haru prayed for miracles every day. 

He’d seen plenty over the last month, like bright rays of sunshine piercing the fog of heartbreak—family members reunited, even that time they recovered a dog stranded on debris out at sea.  These days, they no longer found survivors, but every body flown home was still a kind of miracle—at least there was a wooden casket to be buried with flowers and tears, rather than the yawning, gnawing _unknown_ that plagued those left behind.

Haru’s eyes stung as he took in the latest messages and pictures added to the board.  _[I miss you, Grandma.]  [Reina, wherever you are, I love you.]  [Happy Birthday, Kenta-kun.]_

The water had taken too much.

Rin was brushing away tears when they finally turned from the wall.  It seemed impossible that they still had any to cry, but somehow they never grew numb to the pain and grief that surrounded them.  Haru reached for his fiancé’s hand, Rin’s fingers weaving tightly through his.  There was strength in their grip—despite the fatigue and sorrow; it enabled them to push through, to keep fighting just like the people all around them, to face each day with hope, no matter how dark it seemed.

The night was clear, as cold as the day had been, and a few people had come out to look at the stars.  Haru didn’t let go of Rin’s hand—Rin didn’t pull away, either—as they headed down the street towards the pickup point.  There was little damage in this part of the city; the tsunami showed itself instead in empty shelves, stores closing early with signs in the windows of what they had or didn’t have, and the Japanese flags flown at half-mast.

A rumbling sound preceded the Self-Defense Force transport, the truck stopping at the corner to pick them up along with other relief workers.  Haru nodded to SDF troops and US marines as they squeezed onto benches in the back of the covered truck.  As they descended from higher ground in Natori City, the scenery changed abruptly.  Former residential areas were now fields of debris—entire homes swept away with only the foundations left behind, overturned cars, endless piles of splintered wood and rubble—abandoned beneath the moonlight, dampened by earlier rain.  They were almost one month from the earthquake; the cleanup would continue for a very long time.

Closer to Sendai Airport, recovery efforts were more pronounced.  The airfield was lit up, its runways and taxiways clear.  Relief aircraft landed and departed regularly with commercial traffic scheduled to resume in a matter of days.

Haru, Rin, and the other JCG pilots were dropped off on the south side of the airport; the truck continued on.  The US troops—part of _Operation Tomodachi_ —had their base camp near the terminal on the east edge of the airport, alongside their SDF counterparts.

For the four of them, it was a quiet walk from the road past tall heaps of wreckage to Miyagi Air Station and the Coast Guard Flight School.  The buildings had been structurally cleared, though there was flood damage to the lower floors.  The rest was inhabitable, serving as a local base of operations for ongoing Coast Guard relief efforts.  Haru, Rin, Sousuke, and Yanagi had spent a week flying out of Yamagata and two weeks onboard _PLH-31 Shikishima_ , off the coast.  They’d returned to Sendai at the start of April.

With little time before lights out, they checked in, got their flight schedules for the next day, and headed to the upper floors of the pilots’ dorms.  Haru and Yanagi’s dorm room for six currently housed ten people with cots wedged in between the bunks wherever there was space.  It was impossible not to trip over each other, but it still felt spacious compared to the berthing on ship. 

Haru and Rin went about their nightly routines, washing up for bed.  Rin’s parents had sent him a small care package, including a few items of clothing, but Rin usually borrowed a T-shirt of Haru’s to sleep in.  It was one of the little things that made Haru smile, momentarily lightening the weight on his heart.

They settled into bed, Haru’s lower bunk between Rin’s cot and Sousuke’s; Yanagi had the bunk above.  As soon as the lights were out and everyone had said their obligatory goodnights, Haru shifted to the side, lifting the corner of his blanket so Rin could slide in with him.  There was hardly any room for this; the first time, Haru nearly fell off the other side of the bed, which Sousuke dryly teased them about for days.  But they’d figured it out since, finding a few comfortable positions in which to sleep.

Their legs tangled together beneath the covers, Rin’s weight resting half on top as they held one another.  There was no privacy in a room with eight other people; they couldn’t talk or even whisper without disturbing much-needed slumber.  But they made conversation without words, the soundless inquiry of Haru brushing his thumb across one of Rin’s eyebrows, tucking strands of ruby hair behind his lover’s ear.  (They both needed haircuts, but it wasn’t like anyone had bothered quoting regulation to them in the last month.)  Rin’s lips parted in a quiet sigh, his eyes gleaming with the same heaviness Haru felt.  Soap and water had erased the earlier tear tracks, but fresh beads of moisture clung to Rin’s eyelashes as the brave face fell away, revealing the grief beneath.  He was thinking of the children—of Aimi and the others.  Not every night since they started visiting the shelter, but most, it had been like this, because Rin saw himself in the kids—in the hours when his father had been lost at sea.

The water had taken what was precious—taken and not returned.

Haru pulled Rin closer, the kiss as silent as the tears that seeped past Rin’s eyelids to fall on his cheeks.  As Rin trembled against him, Haru tightened his arms.  Angry tears pricked his closed eyes.

Behind his eyelids was the deceptively placid, untamed sea, white waves breaking along the shore— _I’m never forgiving you._

* * *

_Late March, 2011_

* * *

_“There’s enough here for two weeks,” Rin said, tapping the top of the nearest crate.  “But we’ll be back on Saturday.  Use the radio to contact us if anything comes up in the meantime.  SDF thinks it shouldn’t be that much longer before they can clear the roads.”_

_“Thank you.”  The woman, speaking on behalf of the small community, bowed low.  “This means so much to us, we can’t thank you enough.”  Behind her, several families had gathered, the field where they’d landed was adjacent to the group of houses isolated by mudslides, debris, and road damage._

_Haru looked on, content to let Rin do the talking as he bowed in return.  He was the one who was grateful—grateful to be able to do even this much, to do something to help.  His mother texted or emailed him daily, checking in, often asking when he would be done, when he’d be able to leave._

_He usually sent the same reply.  [I’m busy here, Mom.  I love you.  Give my love to Dad, too.]_

_Done with that supply drop, they headed to the next, Haru flying, Rin handling the radios.  Their final task of the day was the most solemn—bearing the bodies of precious loved ones home for burial._

_It was past nightfall when Haru set them down on the helipad on the_ Shikishima’s _foredeck.  After post-flight activities, they headed below to the locker room to peel off muddy flight suits and change back into their uniforms._

_Haru had his flight suit unzipped to the waist in front of his locker when Rin suddenly hugged him from behind, bare arms tightly circling his torso.  Rin’s skin was warm against his back, just their undershirts between them._

_“Haru, don’t be mad,” Rin whispered, his body tense, voice guarded.  “I’m…not going in April.  I want to, just…not this year.”_

_(Oh…that.)  The Japanese swimming championships in Hamamatsu were the furthest thing from his mind right now.  All of his spring plans seemed trivial—graduating from flight school, training in Tokyo, competing in Hamamatsu for the chance to go to Shanghai…_

_Haru turned in Rin’s arms, meeting the wariness in Rin’s gaze, the fear that his words were too much, that going back on his promise was going to hurt Haru, though it hadn’t stopped him from deciding.  Rin was wrong about him this time._

_Haru caught his fiancé’s face in his hands, making sure Rin saw it all in his eyes.  “This is the only swimming I want to do right now, Rin.”_

_Rin’s eyes widened…then reddened, his brow creasing, arms trembling.  “Haru…”_

_Haru leaned in until their foreheads touched, smoothing hair back from Rin’s face.  “I’m exactly where I need to be.”_

_(And it’s all because of you, Rin.)_

* * *

June of 2011

* * *

“Mandatory?”  Haru uttered the word with disbelief, his gaze locked on Commander Mayeda’s face rather than the paperwork she held out to him.

“Yes, mandatory.”  Mayeda’s demeanor offered no option to debate.  “One month, starting Friday.  We’ll have info to you by July first for your return assignment.”  She lifted the envelope, forcing him to look at it.  “All crew are being rotated out and back in.  It’s been nearly three months, non-stop.  You don’t get to argue.”

Haru’s jaw tightened as he accepted the envelope.  “Hai.”

-x-

Flying into Tottori felt strange, not because he wasn’t in the flight deck, but because the landscape out the window was untouched—houses, fields, roads, trees, and the sparkling sea—no hint of destruction anywhere.  There were places in Tottori Prefecture where, without a TV or radio, you might have felt the distant rumblings of the quake, but not known anything about the devastation on the eastern coast—not the thousands dead or missing, the homes and livelihoods gone in a flash, or the threat of nuclear meltdown that they didn’t need on top of everything.

Haru and Rin waited for their luggage in baggage claim among people chatting about inane things like the weather and some new restaurant and end of spring midterms.  To them, it was like nothing happened.  Sure, there was a _Ganbare Tohoku_ banner in the airport and a place to drop off donations of money, clothes, or other staples.  And sure, there was a sidebar on the front page of the newspaper about the latest radiation estimates out of Fukushima.  But they didn’t _know_.  The people around him and Rin had no idea what it meant that _hundreds of thousands_ were still in temporary shelters and living spaces, that the search for the missing still continued, that it would be years until life seemed normal again and even then, it would never be like it was before.

Rin pulled their bags off the carousel, shouldering his backpack and offering the duffle bag to Haru.  “Wanna go?  We should stop at the grocery store on the way to your place, yeah?”  Rin hadn’t wanted to leave either, but he was trying to make the most of it and Haru was instantly annoyed.

It wasn’t fair that Sousuke and Yanagi got to stay; they wouldn’t get rotated out until mid-June at the earliest.

“Haru?”

He smothered his desire to snap—Rin didn’t deserve it.  Haru took his bag, looking away as he looped the strap over his shoulder.  “Ah.  Let’s go.”

-x-

It was pleasantly warm, birds flying along the beach as they carried grocery bags with their luggage.  Haru refused to look at the sea.  They turned, silently, to climb the familiar stone-hewn steps.

There was a note on Haru’s door.  Rin grabbed it while Haru fished out his keys.

“It’s from Makoto’s mom.  She put food in the fridge for us.”  Rin smiled.  “We won’t have to cook tonight.”

Haru nodded.  “Let’s thank her tomorrow.”

The house should’ve smelled musty, but Makoto’s mom had opened a few of the windows, letting in the late spring breeze.  Still, the place was too quiet.  And it felt odd, after three months, to be alone, to have privacy again.

They heated the food Makoto’s mom left for them, eating at the kotatsu with the TV on.  Haru flipped through the news channels—the only mention of Tohoku was in relation to the radiation fears and rolling blackouts due to the shutdown of the nuclear plants.  Irritated, he changed the channel again—

“Hey, wait, go back.”

Haru obediently flipped the channels backwards—

“There, stop.”

It was a drama, some romantic comedy, the male and female leads having a passionate argument about such-and-such melodrama.  Haru side-glared at Rin, one brow arched.  _Really?_

But Rin was glued to the screen, rice bowl in hand.

Haru sighed.  _Whatever._   It wasn’t like they got to watch much TV while they were on duty.

When they were done eating, Haru did the dishes since Rin’s show was still on.  He made tea for both of them, grabbing a book as he joined Rin at the table.

The characters swam in front of his eyes.  With a sigh, Haru rolled onto his back on the tatami, staring up at the ceiling.  Eventually, Rin’s drama ended, a variety show starting.  The upbeat narrator and laughter rapidly grated on his nerves.

“You’re not watching that, right?”

“You can just ask me to turn it off, Haru.”  The TV went quiet.  “You OK?  Want a bath or something?”

“No.”  He interlaced his fingers atop his abdomen and bent his knees, his feet braced against the smooth tatami.  “Maybe some music.”

“Mn.”  Rin got up and went to the stereo.  “Not your soothing water sounds CD—”

“ _Not that._ ”

Rin put on something else—soft and melodic piano music, one of his mom’s CDs.  Haru closed his eyes, focusing on his breathing, willing himself to calm, to unwind, to not be so _angry_.

It didn’t work.  Halfway through the second track, he got up.  “Let’s just go to bed.”

Rin turned off the stereo with the remote, his gaze flicking to the clock—certainly noting how early it still was, but Haru wasn’t in any position to be subtle.

“Sure,” Rin said, getting to his feet.

-x-

“Haru, you’re too tight for this.”

“Sorry.”  Haru meant it, his apology exhaled between ragged breaths.  “Want me to…?”

“Nah, I’m no better.”  Rin kissed Haru’s inner thigh and sat up, wiping his hands off and going for fresh lube.  “Let’s keep it easy.”  He stretched out on top, Haru groaning as Rin caught them both in his slick grasp, their necklaces pooling against Haru’s chest.  “Beats doing it in a tiny-ass shower stall, huh?”  His moist breath plumed against Haru’s lips and throat as he started slow thrusts…

“ _Rin_ —”  Haru shuddered with pleasure, lashes fluttering.  He looped his arms around Rin’s shoulders, bringing his lover down for a kiss that was hard enough to bruise, sucking on Rin’s lower lip before pushing his tongue inside.

Rin groaned into their kiss.  At length, they broke apart, gasping and breathless.

“We don’t have to be quiet, either,” Haru said, dragging his hands through Rin’s hair, tugging lightly.

The glint lit in Rin’s eyes, the tip of his tongue braced against the corner of his mouth.  “You’re right.”  He ducked his head, lips and teeth working down the side of Haru’s neck.

Haru arched back with a moan, holding Rin to him, his toes curling against the sheets—

-x-

It was after—coming down from the high with Rin resting on top of him, amidst a chorus of harsh breaths—that Haru realized his face was wet with tears…and Rin wasn’t the one crying.  He stared in disbelief at the shiny wetness on his fingertips.

“Haru—”  Rin looked down at him, forehead creased, gaze filled with concern.  Warm fingers brushed the hair gently from his eyes.  “You OK?”

Haru’s throat closed, hot and tight.  More tears were coming and he knew in an instant he couldn’t hold them back, even squeezing his eyes shut.  “I don’t know,” he whispered, hugging Rin as the warm droplets spilled across his temples.

“Haru…”  Rin gathered him close.

Trembling, Haru pressed his face into Rin’s hair, his tears wetting scarlet strands.  “I love you though.”

“Not doubting that,” Rin whispered, holding him as he cried.

* * *

* * *

“Haru, um… wanna go swimming?”

“No.”  Haru finished rinsing the tea cup, setting it on the dish rack to dry.  He reached for the grill pan next.

“Look, I know you’re mad at the water, but the pool—”

“ _No_.”

“We can’t just sit in the house all day.  It’s not—”

“—Fine, let’s go to the gym again.”

“We just _went_.  You won’t sit in the bath.  You won’t swim in the pool.  You won’t even _look_ at the water when we go outside.  At home, you spend most of the time staring at the ceiling—”

Haru snorted, scrubbing the pan as warm water ran across his fingers.  _I’m looking at the water right now._   “Rin, you’re overreacting.”

“The hell I am, Haru!  Your nightmares are getting worse and _it fucking scares me!_ ”

Haru flinched as if struck, the pan clattering into the sink.  He turned, meeting the red mess of Rin’s face, hands falling to rest at his sides, his apron flecked with damp spots.  “We both have nightmares.”

“Not like yours.”  Tears dripped from Rin’s chin, his hands balled into fists and Haru didn’t want to think about how much self-control it took for him to hold back, or that Rin thought touching him would make it worse.

Like Haru knew what to do about it.  Staying away from the water should’ve helped, right?  Pretending it wasn’t there?  But every night without fail, he woke up from the same dream—the sea tearing Rin and everyone he loved from his arms, leaving him behind, alone with nothing but devastation. 

If only that was where the dream ended.

“And there’s something you’re not telling me.”

Haru pursed his lips, saying nothing.  Rin was too perceptive. 

“Say something, damnit!”

“I was trying not to worry you.”

“I already said I’m fucking scared, Haru!”

He flinched for the second time, slumping back against the sink.  “Fine,” he whispered, closing his eyes.  _I can’t handle you looking at me like that._   The rest of the nightmare burned behind his eyelids—the waves lapping at the empty beach, tugging at his ankles.  “I told you it ends when I’m on the beach, alone, when everyone’s gone.”

“Yeah,” Rin said.

Haru drew a tight breath, gripping the edge of the sink and bracing himself.  “I didn’t tell you that the water taunts me, to come out and be with everyone I’ve lost.”

Other than a hitched breath, Rin was quiet; Haru wasn’t sure he was breathing after that.

“Or that, sometimes…” he forced the words out, “I swim out there.”

There was no answer, no response at all—just the sound of the water running in the sink. 

Haru waited five whole seconds before he opened his eyes.

Rin’s face had gone _white_.

“Rin—”  Haru pushed away from the sink.  “You know I would never—  It’s why I didn’t want to—”

Rin spun around, striding from the kitchen before Haru could finish his sentence.

“Fuck,” Haru muttered, slamming the faucet off and following.  “ _Rin_ —”

Rin had gone through the family room and out the back door.  The sliding door closed before Haru got to it, their eyes meeting through the glass.  _Do not fucking follow me right now_.

Haru drew back with a shaky exhale.  He didn’t need Rin to actually say the words.

A whole minute passed, then another, Rin staying outside.  _I should’ve told you right away._   But the nightmare had been so real, the thought that he was _at all_ capable of making that decision _even_ _in a dream_ terrifying him so much he didn’t know what to do.

He didn’t know what to do now, either, sinking down to the tatami flooring.  _Rin…_   His hands curled against his knees, the blue fabric of the apron rough beneath his knuckles, the wet spots drying one by one.

It was ten minutes later that Haru heard footsteps, jumping to his feet as Rin slid the door aside and came in.  Rin’s face was red like he’d been crying, though his eyes were flinty with determination. 

“Pack your stuff.”

Haru blinked.  _What?_

Rin sighed, Haru realizing belatedly that Rin had his phone in hand.  “Haru, I know you heard me.”  His voice was a lot calmer than it had been.  “Pack up while I get us a flight to Tokyo.  We’re gonna stay with Makoto for a while; we’re gonna get help for this.”

The pieces came together, all at once.  “You called Makoto.”

“Yup.”  Rin raked a hand through his hair.  “Since I sure as hell don’t know what to do, but I thought he might.”

“You said _we_ ,” Haru whispered.  _I’m the one—_

Rin’s gaze softened.  “It’s not your problem, Haru.  It’s _our_ problem.  We’re gonna figure it out together.  That’s what it means to be married, right?  Might as well start practicing now.”

“ _Rin_.”  Haru’s eyes filled with sudden tears.

“Dummy,” Rin whispered, wrapping him up.

Haru clutched Rin to him like he’d never let go.  “Sorry I didn’t tell you before.  It scared me too much.”

“I forgive you,” Rin murmured, drawing back.  His fingers traced the chain at Haru’s neck, drawing it free of the apron.  “But from now on, you don’t get to be scared alone.”  He showed Haru the ring, bringing it closer until the titanium band was touching the tip of Haru’s nose.  “You gave that up when you said yes.  Same goes for me.  OK?”

Haru smiled amidst his tears.  “OK.”

Their lips met gently, the chain slipping down Haru’s face as Rin let go, the ring falling to sway against his heart.

“Go pack, Nanase Haruka.  I’ve told you three times now.”

Haru arched a brow.  “Did you just use your mom’s voice on me?”

Rin shooed him from the room.  Haru climbed the stairs, warm as he wiped the tears away, knowing he’d never been loved like this.

-x-

“Haru—”  Makoto caught him in a tight hug, right in the middle of Haneda airport. 

“Mn.”  Haru pressed his lips, heat rising in his cheeks.  “Makoto…”

“Oh, hush.”  Makoto let go, giving him a mild look.  “I care about you too, you know.  I’ve been worried about you since day one.  Both of you, really.” 

“You sound like my mother,” Haru muttered.

Rin elbowed him in the side.

Makoto just smiled.  “Come on, it’s getting late.  I made your appointment for first thing tomorrow morning.”

-x-

The counselor’s name was Honoka.  She had straight black hair, wore glasses, and didn’t bat an eyelash at Haru and Rin holding hands as they sat on the sofa across from her. 

“You’ve both been through a lot,” Honoka said.  “So many of our people have.  We say _Ganbare_ and _Gaman_ to encourage each other—that indestructible spirit keeps us going, keeps us from giving up.  But sometimes, behind those words, we hold too much inside.”  Her eyes were as gentle as her voice.  “Recovery is a process.  It takes time, it takes work, and it takes courage.  Just like the cleanup and rebuilding in Tohoku, the same goes for our hearts.  But it’s worth it.”

Haru and Rin looked at each other.  Seeing the hope in Rin’s face, the brightness of his smile, already made it a little easier to breathe.

“We’re not afraid of hard work,” Rin said, squeezing his hand.

“Ah.”  Haru dipped his head and smiled.

-x-

The scent of chlorine was like a heady elixir after so many months of being away.  With his eyes closed, Haru breathed in and out, listening to the sound of splashing, of droplets scattering across the pool deck, his skin tingling in anticipation of the water’s embrace.  His stomach, however, was in knots, his heartrate already elevated.

Feeling Rin by his side, Haru continued the breathing exercises the counselor had suggested, her words—towards the end of the session—echoing in his head. 

_Haruka-san, you said you can’t forgive the water.  Let me ask you this about forgiveness—is it something you do because the other party is penitent and has done something to deserve it?  Or do you think forgiveness is a choice?  Something you decide for your own wholeness and healing, so that you can move on?_

Haru slowly opened his eyes to fifty meters of sparkling blue water in front of him, only half of the lanes occupied.  Forgiveness was something the water would never ask for.  It couldn’t apologize and it couldn’t taunt him, either.  It was just water, after all.  _Especially tamed water like this._

With a heavy smile, Haru worked his swim cap over his hair and approached the block on lane seven.  “I think I’ll swim a bit,” he said, slipping his goggles on.

“OK.”  Rin mirrored him on lane eight.

They took the blocks in their square legs.  “Leaving on the top,” Haru said, lifting his gaze to the pace clock on the wall.

“Ah.”

As the second hand swung towards 12, they dove together.  Haru went into streamline, his fingertips touching first, carving an opening for his body to slide through.  The cool water enveloped him as he plunged beneath the surface, starting his dolphin kicks until he came up to long pulls of free.

Haru glided across the pool in the motions he knew by heart; with each stroke, a face or name came to him—from pictures on the wall, from characters etched onto wooden caskets…and Aimi carrying a bouquet too big for her arms, the day they buried her mother in May.  He only made it fifty meters—one length—before the tears welled up.

At the wall, he raked off his goggles and cried, not caring if anyone noticed, if anyone saw from a distance and wondered.  Haru clung to the side in the shadow of the start block, tears dripping into the pool.  They were just the first, probably—there’d be more tears to cry over the next weeks and months—years too, maybe.  That was OK, that was normal—that’s what it meant to grieve, Honoka said. 

Rin was beside him, arms draped over the lane line—nearby if Haru needed him, but not smothering.  –Trusting Haru to reach out if/when necessary; trusting him with the promises they’d made to each other.

The tears slowed and eventually stopped.  Haru released a sigh and ducked underwater, letting the coolness soothe his face.

Pushing off the bottom, he slipped into Rin’s lane and into Rin’s arms.

“Haru…”  Rin looked startled as he surfaced, his arms loosely circling Haru’s shoulders.

Haru wound his arms around Rin’s waist, pressing their foreheads together.  “Rin, thanks.”  _For worrying about me, for loving me so much, for being by my side._   There was a lot in that one word, but Haru trusted Rin to understand.

“ _Haru_ …”  Ruby eyes shone with moisture.  Rin sucked in a noisy breath, his arms tightening.

Haru smiled.  Giving a little shove, they went under just long enough for him to brush their lips together.

As they came up again, Rin’s eyes were wide, his cheeks pink.  “Oi—”

Sliding over the line into lane seven, Haru righted his goggles.  “I’m gonna swim some laps.”  He glanced over his shoulder.  “You coming, Rin?”

Rin grumbled something under his breath about free dolphins, whatever that meant.  He splashed water on his face.  “Yeah, let’s do it, Haru.”

Haru smiled and pushed off—

-x-

By the end of June and Haru’s twenty-first birthday, the nightmares weren’t gone, but they were less frequent.  The end was different now.  Instead of giving in, he turned his back on the taunting waves every time, reaching for the hand that was reaching out for him.

* * *

Sunday, September 25th, 2011

* * *

It was a sunny day in early fall, the stage and chairs set up just off the airfield, south of Sendai Airport’s main runway, in grass that was starting to grow again.  It made for a loud-ish ceremony, Commander Mayeda having to pause each time a plane flew overhead.  No one even considered asking Sendai Airport Operations to establish quiet hours on their behalf—no, the roar of jet engines was the sound of progress, of slow but steady recovery, and Haru savored it.  His heart was mending in the same way.

Haru was in dress whites like the rest of the graduates, seated in the front row.  Commander Mayeda and the other Flight School staff members on the platform were also in dress uniforms, the sunlight sparkling off the gold epaulets on their shoulders.

“It is my privilege and honor,” Mayeda said into the microphone, “to finally present the class of March, 2011, with their long overdue diplomas.  To the fifteen of you—twelve Coast Guard First Officers and three Coast Guard Captains…”  She offered a rare smile.  “Well done.  Your performance in the line of duty, during the most extreme circumstances, has been exemplary.  Please come up as I call your name.”

One by one, the flight school graduates left their front row seats to climb the stairs, salute, and formally receive their wings.  The audience of loved ones, family, friends, and the community, had quickly overwhelmed the available chairs.  Their cheering was deafening—as loud as the planes taking off in the distance.

“Captain Nanase Haruka.”

Haru rose from his chair, sun glinting off the captain’s stripes on his shoulders and cuffs, and the ring on his left hand. 

“Haru!!”  “Haruka!!”  “Haru-nii!!” 

He had, by far, the unruliest group in attendance as he strode up to the platform and climbed the stairs—his parents were here, plus Rin’s whole family, Sousuke, Makoto, Nagisa, Rei, a few of his friends from Team Japan, not to mention several of the local children and their parents/guardians.  At center stage, Haru saluted crisply.

Mayeda returned the salute.  “Congratulations, Captain,” she said, and Haru could’ve sworn her eyes were moist as she pinned his wings to his uniform jacket.

“Thank you, ma’am,” Haru said.  As they shook hands, the cheering started up again.  Leaving the stage, Haru broke decorum for a glance at the crowd—

Both his mom and Rin’s were crying, their dads beaming.  Rin was crying _and_ beaming, and it just went downhill from there.  Haru smiled, sneaking a tiny wave as he descended the stairs at the opposite side of the platform and took his place with the other graduates.

As soon as the ceremony ended, he was at the center of a swarm of people all trying to hug him at once.  Rin and Sousuke—also in Coast Guard dress whites, and therefore required to be somewhat well-behaved—were on the outer edge of it.

Rin caught his eye.  _Love you_ , he mouthed and returned to grinning.

Haru smiled.  _Love you_ , he mouthed back.  He let the hugging go on for another minute before slipping free.  There was someone else hanging back from the crowd that he wanted to greet.

Aimi was there—wearing a purple dress and little Velcro sneakers, and holding her father’s hand.

Haru exchanged bows with Aimi’s father before crouching down to her level and placing his white dress cap on her head.

Aimi giggled, holding onto the too-large hat with one hand.  With the other, she pointed at his uniform.  “You have wings now, Haru-nii?”

“That’s right.”

She tilted her head to the side, blinking with an adorably perplexed look on her young face.  “Like a bird?”

Haru smiled, nodding.  “Just like a bird.”

Aimi’s brown eyes widened.  “I want wings too!”

“Someday,” Haru said, taking her hand gently, his heart filled with the hope that sparkled in her eyes.  _Someday we’ll all be free to soar again._

 


	10. Chapter 10

* * *

Sunday, September 25th, 2011 (continued)

* * *

As the sun dipped behind the mountains to the west, rays of red, gold, and violet painted the clouds above Sendai airfield.  The graduates, their families, and the flight school staff members began to head out, though a small crowd remained around the white and blue Bell helicopter parked in the grass.  Rin watched from a distance, smiling, as kids crawled across the seats, Haru pointing out gauges and controls.  Occasionally, they all stilled long enough for someone to snap a picture.

“I’m proud of you boys,” Toraichi said from Rin’s left, then chuckled.  “Not that I can call you ‘boys’ anymore.  Haruka and Sousuke are twenty-one; you’ve only got a few months to go…”

_Rub it in, huh?_   Rin snorted softly.  The sunset gave blush hues to their white dress uniforms, though their rank insignia were different—Rin’s pilot stripes versus his father’s officer bars.

“To think, at your age, all I cared about was medals and records and being the next hot thing in swimming.  But here you are, saving the world.”

“Dad…”  Rin sobered, meeting his father’s gaze as a warm hand landed on his shoulder.

“You are, Rin,” Toraichi said, squeezing gently.  “One person at a time.  I’d be happy whatever you decided to do with your life.  But I am _proud_ you chose this.”

Rin pressed his lips, inhaling slowly to keep his emotions at bay.  _I did it because of you._   He drew his father in for a hug, never that far from the child he’d been…or the kids in the distance, swarming Haru in the helicopter.  _And for them._   Rin closed his eyes.

“Thanks, Dad.”

-x-

After seeing their loved ones off at the terminal (other than Takara and Seijuurou, who headed for the train station), Rin, Haru, and Sousuke returned to the JCG flight school campus, picking up their bags in the dorm lobby.  All of their essentials fit into one large duffle bag each, plus their flight bags.  It had been this way for months as they moved between bases and ships; after the first three weeks of September onboard _PLH-31 Shikishima_ , Rin didn’t mind a rotation on land.  The flight school had temporarily relocated to Niigata for the fall/winter term.  In the meantime, the flight school dorms would provide housing for Coast Guard personnel rotating into Miyagi while the recovery work continued.

“Matsuoka…Nanase…Yamazaki…”  The officer at the lobby desk handed them their room assignments and schedule packets. 

“Thanks.”  They lifted their bags and climbed the stairs to the third floor.

“Three-oh-one…”  Haru started off down the hallway.

Rin’s room number was the same.

“Three-oh-seven,” Sousuke said, leaving them with a wave and heading the opposite direction.

Rin followed Haru to the far end of the corridor where the doors were closer together, three to four names listed under each room number, rather than the six to a dozen they were used to.  It’d be quieter, anyway (though he would’ve preferred Sousuke to random roommates).

Haru stopped in front of the last door on the north side of the building.  “Hm.”

“Hm, what?”

Haru pointed at the names beneath the placard for room 301— _Captain Matsuoka Rin, Captain Nanase Haruka._   There were no others listed.

“Huh?”  Rin stared as Haru unlocked the door.

“This is one of the instructor’s rooms, isn’t it?”

They went inside…

The narrow room had one bed, one closet/locker, one desk under the window, and a tiny bathroom barely bigger than the ones on ship.  A folded cot was wedged in between the locker and the bed…the twin bed was generously-sized (relatively speaking) compared to the bunks they were usually assigned.

How _the hell_ did they get a private room?  “There must be a mistake,” Rin muttered.

“A really good one,” Haru said, taking one look around and setting his bags on the floor.  Unzipping his duffle, he started pulling out toiletries and his stash of canned mackerel…

Rin drew a tight breath.  “ _Haru._ ”

Haru stopped, looking up at him with a sigh.

-x-

They found Commander Fujioka in Instructor Mayeda’s office, the name temporarily changed on the plaque outside the door.

As they entered, removing their uniform caps, Fujioka glanced up from the stack of paperwork on his desk. 

“Is there a problem, gentlemen?”

“Sir, please forgive the intrusion.”  Rin cleared his throat, his cheeks warming rapidly.  “Regarding our room assignment…”

“I believe the two of you requested to room together,” Fujioka said, returning to the printout beneath his fingertips.

“Yes, sir, but—”

“You find the assignment inadequate, Matsuoka?”

“No, sir, on the contrary—”  His face blazed as he forced the words out.  “I, _we_ , don’t wish to receive special treatment.”

Fujioka paused, pen lifted from his paperwork, as he looked at each of them in turn.

Rin pressed his lips at the thinly veiled disagreement on Haru’s face.  _Haru._

Haru exhaled through his nose, offering a reluctant nod.

Fujioka sat back in his chair, folding his hands on top of his papers.  “It’s a simple math problem, Captain Matsuoka.  I have so many rooms, a certain number of personnel, and only so many beds.  It doesn’t really make sense for me to leave one empty now does it?”

Rin nearly choked.  “Sir, if there were complaints—”

Fujioka held up a hand to stop him.  “Only observations.”

Not that _that_ was less mortifying.

“Captain Nanase is no longer a student.  The two of you qualify for family housing.  That your family isn’t inked on ward paperwork doesn’t make a difference to me.”  Fujioka lifted a brow.  “Or tell me if I’ve got it wrong and your matching rings are merely fashion accessories.”

“No, sir,” Rin said, certain his face was the same color as his hair.

“It’s four weeks, Matsuoka.  If you’d prefer, I could make alternate arrangements.  Perhaps a return to the _Shikishima_?  I’m sure there’s plenty of space in her forward berthing.”

“ _Rin_.”  His name came out in a soft hiss, Haru glaring at him askance.

Rin bowed low.  “Thank you for your generous accommodation, sir.”

“As I said, it’s simple math.”  Fujioka cleared his throat, making eye contact with both of them.  “Discretion, Captains.  Keep the observations off my desk, hmm?”

“Yes, sir.”

-x-

The heat in his face wasn’t going to fade anytime soon.  Rin was still in a state of shock as they got back to the room, leaning against the closed and locked door, raking hair back from his forehead.  “Haru, for _months_ …”  He groaned in embarrassment. 

“If it was a problem, we would’ve heard about it,” Haru said, hanging his cap on the hook inside the door and working the buttons on his dress uniform jacket.

Rin closed his eyes, scrubbing his face with one hand.  “We just—”

“Rin.”  Haru was suddenly there, jacketless and warm against him, his knee nudging Rin’s apart.  “Are you getting naked with me or not?”

Rin’s eyes flew open, his mouth going dry at the sight of Haru loosening his own tie, one forearm braced against the door...  “I’m the biggest idiot,” he muttered.

Mirth joined the desire in Haru’s eyes.  “It’s good we agree on something.”

“Shut up, Haru.”  Rin grabbed the collar of Haru’s shirt, silencing his lover with his lips.

The articles of their dress uniforms were soon scattered across the small room, quickly and wholly forgotten as they took turns pressing each other into the sheets—

-x-

In the months following the tsunami, it was rare for Rin to sleep through the night in one go.  Sometimes his dreams woke him, or the rocking of the ship threatening to toss him from his bunk, …or Haru’s nightmares.  Other times, whether the airfield lights were a tad too bright or the room was a degree too cold, he’d find himself inexplicably awake—like now.

Rin’s right arm was trapped beneath the curve of Haru’s neck, wedged between shoulder and the lower edge of the pillow ( _really, Haru, how is this comfortable?_ ).  His fingers still had feeling, caught in the silky strands of Haru’s hair, while moonlight from the window made the white sheets glow.  Underneath, their legs were intertwined, Haru’s arm tucked around Rin’s body.  It was a luxury to sleep with Haru without a stitch of clothing between them.  Even with privacy, they wouldn’t do this often—not when the general alarm could sound at any moment and they’d need to be in uniform and at the muster point in less than thirty seconds.  But, for tonight at least…

Haru’s sleeping face was soft, his brow slack with ease, lips slightly parted as he breathed.  There wasn’t any trace of tension, certainly not the cold sweat, panic, and tossing that accompanied his nightmares.  It had been weeks since the last one, though Rin’s memories of those nights were vivid—of the fear that squeezed his heart as he tried desperately to wake Haru, wide blue eyes roving disoriented until finding him, shaky gulps for air followed by tears…and Haru clinging to him, whispering his name over and over—

Maybe Rin was awake now just to witness Haru’s peaceful slumber, to be reminded again of what was behind them, how far they’d come.  It wasn’t over and there wasn’t any way to reverse time and go back to their former definition of normal, but they were walking through this valley _together_.  –Just like they’d promised, a year ago, vows whispered over rings.

Rin no longer questioned his decision about the Coast Guard—or asking Haru to join him.  The last six months had proven that when the earth shook and the waters rose and the fires started, they were best in the middle of it, doing whatever they could to help, even though the cost was exorbitant and the stress was unrelenting.  The part they were still figuring out was self-care and balance, how to _rest_ when rest felt selfish, how to communicate when they were both tired and irritable and sick of rations (and mackerel) and getting in each other’s faces about the stupidest things…

_Ugh, take your married-couple fights outside_ , Sousuke would say, rolling his eyes.

Rin smiled at the thought, pressing close enough to kiss Haru’s brow, his sigh stirring black hair.  “Love you,” he whispered.  _Fiancé, husband, my partner in everything—Haru._

Haru stirred halfway, not opening his eyes.  “Love you, Rin,” he murmured, arm tightening momentarily around Rin’s waist before going slack again.

Rin closed his eyes and finally went back to sleep.

* * *

Monday, September 26th, 2011

* * *

“How’s the honeymoon suite?”

“Oi.”  Rin glared at his best friend as he set his tray down, dropping into the chair opposite Sousuke.  _Not so fucking loud._

“It’s amazing,” Haru said, taking the seat to Rin’s right and stifling a yawn.

_Damnit, Haru_.  Rin pulled the brim of his cap low, as if that could hide the fire heating his face.  _Yeah, you’re not fooling anyone, Matsuoka._

Sousuke chuckled, sipping from a mug of coffee.  “By the way…  Takara and Mikoshiba want to meet up at _Grande 21_ , after we’re done today.”

“They didn’t go back to Tokyo?” Haru asked, picking up his rice bowl and chopsticks.

“They’re leaving in the morning.”  Sousuke set his mug down.  “So?  You guys up for swimming tonight?”

Rin let Haru answer.  The _Grande 21_ sports park was in Rifu, north of Sendai, not quite an hours’ drive from the airport.  It had a stadium seating 50,000 people, multiple arenas, tennis courts, training facilities, and a full aquatics center with a diving pool, 25m subpool, and a 50m Olympic-sized main pool.  They’d gone a couple of times since July when their flight schedule allowed (there were smaller recreational pools more convenient to the airport).  Haru’s relationship with the water was tepid at best right now, but getting into the pool regularly was part of their therapy assignment from Honoka-san.

And if they wanted to swim come April, they needed to train.

It was a topic neither of them ever broached aloud—probably not since March when they’d canceled their plans for this year.  They’d skipped the Open Water Championships in Tateyama—Haru’s truce with the pool had nothing to do with the ocean and swimming a 10k after months of zero conditioning would’ve been a stupid idea anyway.  But Rin was silently determined not to break his promise again; he just couldn’t say it out loud.  Part of it was silly and superstitious, but the whole was that Haru needed to be ready and Rin had learned that pushing, nudging, and even coaxing did more harm than good.

Haru quietly lowered his chopsticks, a turbulent mix of emotions flickering in his eyes for a heartbeat or two before his usual calm returned.  “Ah.”  He nodded.  “Let’s go tonight.”

Rin pressed his lips as the relief rose inside him, trying to play it cool as though Haru’s words didn’t have the power to send him soaring with joy or plummeting to the ground with disappointment.  Too bad his heart was firmly attached to his sleeve, as always.

“Don’t implode, Rin,” Haru murmured, side-eyeing him over the rim of his teacup.

“ _Nn_ , shut up,” Rin muttered, turning away to scrub at his face.  _As if it’s my fault I love you so much, Dummy._

As Haru snorted with amusement, though, Rin stopped fighting the smile he couldn’t hold back anyways.

After breakfast, they changed into their flight suits, briefed with their crews, and headed out to the ramp, carrying their helmets and flight bags.

“Safe flights,” Rin said, holding up a fist for their usual preflight ritual.

“Ah.”  The three of them bumped fists, sharing warm looks before splitting off to their different birds.  With an influx of new first officers, it was rare for them to share the flight deck these days.  Just the mention of Haru’s callsign over the radio was enough to make Rin’s heart leap in his chest.

He jogged over to join his crew, ready to get to work.

-x-

The missions varied with the needs—ferrying supplies, ferrying people, med-evacs, clearing waterways—but during the day, as much as conditions allowed, they searched.  Sometimes they were close to shore and sometimes out at sea, combing debris fields and capsized vessels for the remains of those still missing.  As autumn continued and the days grew shorter, sea temperatures would drop and diving would become more difficult.  For the sake of families still clinging to hope—for answers, for closure—they had to keep trying, as long as they could.

…The day was fruitless in the end; all Rin had to show for their efforts were red X’s on the map back at base with the search date appended. 

Haru came in with his crew just as Rin was leaving the briefing room.  Their gazes met briefly…  Rin read the heaviness in blue eyes before Haru ever shook his head.  He silently passed Haru the red marker.

In the tiny shower stall in their room, they washed each other’s backs, quietly and wordlessly rinsing off the sweat from the day.  _Maybe tomorrow._   Rin hugged Haru around the waist, his face pressed into dripping strands of black hair.  He was discouraged, but not without hope.  _Never without hope._

For the first time in weeks, they donned their square leg suits and warmups, packed their gear bags, and prepared to swim. 

Rin slung his arm around Haru’s shoulders as they headed out the door.

-x-

“Fall lessons just started today, but you can use the lanes that are open,” the receptionist said as they paid their entrance fees.

“Thank you.” 

They headed into the adjacent locker room, stashing their stuff en route to the pool deck.  The square leg suit Haru had picked today was black with a pattern of sakura petals and a small Japanese flag on the left hip.  It didn’t make Rin jealous anymore.  Instead, seeing Haru move towards the pool felt like coming home, proof that broken things could be put back together again.  Maybe not the same as before, but _whole_ nonetheless.

The pool deck was brightly lit—all the way up to the rows of seats—with the night sky beyond the windows behind the diving pool and platforms.  There was seating for over two thousand people—less than Tatsumi in Koto, but not by much.  The lights, the pool, the roped-up lanes _beckoned_ ; Rin drew a deep breath of chlorine and tried not to be too eager.  But the giddiness of his inner grade-schooler was hard to suppress as the memories of past tournaments surfaced—competitions he’d lived for, worked hard for, because it meant seeing Haru again.

The lesson group was on the far side of the natatorium, a cluster of 5-6-7 year olds in matching swimsuits and swim caps, and an instructor.  Seijuurou and Takara were with them.  No one was actually swimming, despite the parents/guardians in the stands offering the occasional shout of encouragement.  The pool itself was vacant.

“Lessons, huh?”  Rin smoothed his swim cap on, brow furrowed.

Sousuke shrugged.  “Maybe day one is dryland?”

“No,” Haru murmured.  “They’re afraid of the water.”

Rin sobered in an instant, taking in the fear on small faces, the way the kids clutched their goggles and shied away from the pool, despite the instructor’s gentle attempts at coaxing.  _Fuck._

“Sousuke!”  Takara was the first to notice them, waving as she moved away from the group.  “Haruka, Matsuoka!”

They met behind the blocks, Takara with her goggles on her forehead, wet from the pool.  “You guys are just in time.”

Seijuurou grinned at them, swim cap tucked into the waistband of his speedo.  “We’re gonna show these kids a race!”

“Two hundred IM,” Takara said with a smirk.  “So get warmed up already.”

Rin snorted.  “Like that’s fair.”

“Oh?”  Takara cocked a brow.  “Forfeiting already, Matsuoka?”

Rin perched a hand on his hip.  “Not even a little, Sakamoto.  But we’re following the IM with the hundred meter fly.”

“Make it two hundred, Rin,” Sousuke said, stretching his arms above his head.

“Done.”

“How about best of three?” Haru asked.  “Let’s finish with freestyle—one hundred meters.”

Rin drew a startled breath.  “Haru…”

“Excellent idea, Nanase!”  Seijuurou gave Haru a thumbs-up.

Takara turned back towards the children.  “Hear that, kids?  It’s a best of three showdown—Team Japan versus Team Coast Guard!”  She winked at Sousuke.  “You guys are toast.”

Sousuke met her look with an easy smile.  “We’ll see about that, Takara.”

“Haha!  Less talk and more warming up!  Let’s go!”  Seijuurou herded them towards the start blocks.

Rin was still a bit startled to see Haru take the block, right his goggles, and dive in without hesitation.  His fingers got caught in the strap of his goggles as he worked them on, a lump forming in his throat.  It was the first time in months—in half a year—that he’d seen Haru move like that—

Sousuke nudged him in the arm.  “How about crying _after_ the race, Rin?”

“ _Tch_.”  He glared at his best friend and mounted the adjacent block, diving in.

-x-

They took lanes two through six—Seijuurou on the far left, then Takara, Haru, Rin, and Sousuke on the right.  The kids’ instructor had the whistle as the children cautiously crept closer to the pool to watch.

“ _Take your marks_.”

Rin fought a grin as he gripped the block, Haru on his left, Sousuke on his right, glossy water ahead—

At the signal, the five of them dove in unison—

-x-

Racing the Shanghai 400 IM bronze medalist went about as well as anyone would guess—Seijuurou hit the wall _lengths_ ahead of the rest of them, though Takara wasn’t that far behind.  The two hundred fly was a better race—Rin and Sousuke were neck-in-neck like always, leaving the others in their wake halfway through the first fifty meters.  It felt like high school, like training in the Coast Guard pool, like their races last October to qualify for the spring championships.  Sousuke out-touched Rin in the end, the two of them grinning across the lane lines, sharing a high-five while Seijuurou, Takara, and Haru caught up.

For the final race, though…  Rin was tired, but he’d made sure to hold himself back, to have enough reserves for the hundred free.  As they took the blocks after a two-minute breather, his gaze was for Haru alone.  The last time they’d swam this race together was at Nationals in high school, three years ago.  Every nerve in Rin’s body remembered how it felt; the lightning crackling in the air between them was the same as before.

“This one’s mine, Haru.”

There was a familiar spark in blue eyes, glinting behind tinted goggles.  “You’re dreaming, Rin.”

He grinned.  _This is so much better than a dream._

“Rin-san!”  “Haruka-san!”  The kids were into it now (not to mention the adults); some of the children even sat on the edge of lane zero with their legs dangling into the water.

The kids’ instructor raised the whistle.  “ _Take your marks._ ”

Rin snapped the strap of his goggles and bent forward, poised on the balls of his feet, tensed for the start alongside Haru—

From the first stroke, the water belonged to them.  Sousuke, Takara, and Seijuurou fell behind as Rin and Haru surged forward, sprinting from the fifteen-meter mark, churning up the water with white flecks of foam and one lane line between them. 

They curled into the turn at the exact same time, pushing off hard and passing their competitors.  Haru took the lead underwater, but Rin didn’t let him keep it.  Halfway through the back fifty, they were even, eyes locking with each breath—

Rin pulled out everything he had left, the finish looming in front of him, the cheers growing louder and louder—  Each time he kicked it up, Haru was there—matching him, meeting him.  They stretched for the wall together—

Rin slapped tile and popped up, gasping for breath, shaking with the rush, the _thrill_.  _Haru._   He raked off his cap and goggles, grinning as Haru—one lane over—shook the water from his hair, knowing already—

“Haruka-san is the winner.”

As the kids and adults cheered, Rin swam to the lane line, draping his arms over top.  “Haru—”  He reached out and Haru came to him, their embrace tight and breathless over the line.  _I’m never giving this up again._   Three years was far too long to deny himself this, to deny _themselves_ this—

“Your race, huh?” Haru asked, gaze sparkling with mirth as he caught his breath.

“Pfff.  I went out hard in the fly before this.”

Haru smiled with his eyes.  “Is that what it was?”

Rin grinned.  “You bet your—”  He managed to strangle the word back in time, remembering all the kids within earshot. 

“Team Japan wins!”  Takara and Seijuurou swam into Haru’s lane, high-fiving each other and Haru.

Rin snorted.  “Check your math, Sakamoto.  Victory goes to the Coast Guard.”

“You’re forgetting.”  She tapped the Japanese flag on the left shoulder of her suit—just like the one on Haru’s.

Sousuke joined Rin in lane five.  “By that logic, it’s a tie.”

“ _Tch_.”

Meanwhile, Haru ducked underwater, swimming beneath the lane lines.  He surfaced in lane zero, holding out both hands to a little boy sitting on the edge.

“Wanna try?  I promise I won’t let go.  You don’t have to put your head under if you don’t want to.”

The boy shyly reached out, taking Haru’s hands.  “OK…”  He slipped tentatively into the water.

Haru held him upright, the child’s shocked expression giving way to a smile.

“Kenji-kun!”

“Look, Mom!  I’m swimming!”  The boy laughed, kicking as Haru drew him about.

Seijuurou was the next one into lane zero, popping up with his hands on his hips.  “Who wants to swim with Sei-nii?  I can take two on each arm and one piggy-back.”

“Me!”  “Me-me-me!”

He did it, too—gliding across the shallow end of the pool with five kids hanging off of him.  It was probably the most ridiculous thing Rin had ever seen.

“Like we’re gonna be out-done by that guy,” Sousuke muttered.

“Nope.”  Rin grinned.  They bumped fists and went to join in.

-x-

They left knowing they’d be back, for the kids as well as for themselves.  Rin draped an arm across Haru’s shoulders as the five of them headed for the parking lot and the borrowed air station car.

Haru had his phone pressed to his ear.  “…What do you think, Makoto?”

Rin couldn’t make out Makoto’s response, but judging from the excitement and emotion coming out of Haru’s phone…  They’d spent a lot of nights talking, back when they stayed at Makoto’s place in June.  With hot tea and the tissue box within reach, Makoto listened to their stories and shared their tears.  He’d wanted to do something—more than the donations and charitable drives—Rin got that sense well before Makoto ever expressed it out loud. 

Talking with the kids’ instructor after the session—hearing how short staffed they were for both instructors and counselors—Rin had shared a glance with Haru and knew they were thinking the same thing.

Haru finished his conversation as they got to the car, Rin popping the trunk for their gear bags. 

“He’s going to talk to his department tomorrow,” Haru said, his voice warm and gaze warmer, moisture glistening against the blue of his eyes.

Rin wrapped his arms around Haru’s shoulders.  “I know he’ll figure it out.  We’ll help too.”

“Yeah.”  Haru hugged him tightly.

-x-

It was late when they got back to the dorm, after dropping Seijuurou and Takara at their Sendai hotel (and Sousuke, who’d decided to hang out for a while).  Holding hands, they snuck in through the west entrance, heading straight up to their room on the third floor, Rin following Haru up the stairs… 

They were kissing as soon as Haru closed the door, still riding high from swimming, competing, and the children’s smiles.  After a full day, they should’ve been exhausted, but Rin didn’t feel the least bit tired.

“You were so great,” Rin said, barely lifting his mouth from Haru’s as they kicked off their shoes and stumbled towards the bed.  “With the races, with the kids.”

“You were too.”

They landed cross-wise on the mattress, moonlight spilling in from the window as they rolled together before settling on their sides, face-to-face.

“You know what, though?”  Rin brushed strands of chlorine-scented hair from Haru’s brow, fingertips sweeping along the curve of cheek and jawline.

“Hm?”

“Three years was way too fucking long—since we last raced like that.”  He meant everything his words implied.  _I never should’ve stopped competing, holding myself back from this—from you, from us._

Haru’s eyes softened and warmed, a smile curving his lips.  “The dearth can be over, Rin,” he said, pulling Rin in for a longer, sweeter kiss…

Rin melted in Haru’s arms, grinning into their kisses.  “Ah.” 

* * *

Tuesday, September 27th, 2011

* * *

“Top comment.”  Haru was reading from his phone.  “ _‘Did you see the muscles on those Coast Guard guys?’_ ”

“I bet Gou posted that,” Sousuke said.

“Neither of you are helping!”  There was a looping string of expletives running through Rin’s brain as they arrived, as requested, at Commander Fujioka’s office.  It hadn’t even been twelve hours, not that time meant anything to the internet. 

“ _‘That flyer though—his abs have abs.’_ Winky face, five hearts, and lots of exclamation points—”

“Is that about me or Rin?”

“Hard to say.”

Rin silenced them both with a glare, yanking off his cap and waiting for them to do the same.

Haru was clearly fighting a smile as he slipped his phone back into his pocket.

_Damnit, damnit, damnit._   Rin composed himself with a deep breath and knocked.

“Come in.”

Rin got the door; they headed inside…

Station Commander Fujioka was waiting for them, tapping a pen against the top of his desk.  “Well, I just got a phone call I didn’t expect to get.”

Sweat broke out beneath the collar of Rin’s uniform.  “Sir, uh, if it’s about the video—”

“Astute, Captain.”

Rin cleared his throat, face flaming.  “It was a friendly, spur-of-the-moment match.  We certainly did not, in any way, mean to represent or misrepresent—”

“You might just let me talk, Matsuoka.”

Rin closed his mouth with a snap.

Fujioka lifted a sheet of paper, torn from the notepad by his phone.  “It seems the Japanese Olympic Committee and the City of Sendai have been discussing an event for children here in the area—an Olympic festival—with ceremonies and games and a chance for the kids to interact with their favorite athletes and heroes.”

_JOC?_   Rin’s eyes went wide.

“Saeki Aina-san of the JOC board just called to ask if I’d give my permission for the three of you to participate as guest athletes and Coast Guard representatives.”

_Holy—_

Their commander smiled, offering the handwritten note.  “You have my enthusiastic approval, gentlemen.”

“Sir…”  Rin gaped, sentences failing him as he took the paper.

Sousuke plucked it out of his hand.  “Before you drop it,” he murmured.

“That’s all, Captains.  You’re dismissed.”

Rin managed to salute properly _and_ walk out of their commander’s office without tripping over his own feet.  It was a major victory given his state of shock.  “JOC…” he whispered.

“This says it’s next month,” Sousuke said, reading from the paper.  “On the tenth.”

An arm wrapped tight around Rin’s waist, Haru hugging him and Sousuke at the same time.  “Less than two weeks.  We’d better start training.”

Rin sucked air at the sight of Haru’s smile, at the _joy_ on Haru’s face—  He made it five seconds before losing it, blinking against the surge of tears as he hugged Haru back.

Sousuke draped arms across both of their shoulders, smiling into their huddle.  “So, tonight?”

“Rin?”

“Yeah.”  He scrubbed his face and grinned.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Pool @ Grande 21 in Rifu](https://www.mspf.jp/grande21/index.php?action=sisetu_shoukai_pool)


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW for a brief panic attack/anxiety scene

* * *

Thursday, October 6th, 2011

* * *

“Hajimemashite.  My name is Tachibana Makoto.”  Makoto’s smile warmed the natatorium as he stood in front of the cluster of children poolside, parents and guardians watching from the seats above.  (It was already a pleasant temperature, of course, but with one gentle look, Makoto could set anyone and everyone at ease.  It was not a gifting Rin had and he was definitely not jealous…)  “I’m a third year coaching and counseling student at Hidaka University in Tokyo.  I’ll be assisting your instructor for the next couple of months.  Yoroshiku onegaishimasu.”  As he bowed in his full length coaching suit, the kids bowed back, offering shy smiles.  “I thought we might start with a game, so I can learn all of your names.  And it involves what’s in here.”  Makoto tapped the wheeled basket beside him, full of colorful beachballs.  “What do you think?  Anyone want to try the game with me?”

“Oh, me!”  “Can I try?”

As the kids mobbed Makoto, Rin turned away with a chuckle.  _You’re in good hands._   Which, as he folded his arms, crinkling his nose at the scent of Haru’s whiteboard marker, was more than he could venture for himself at the moment. 

Haru was at six lines and still going, copying the set from his phone.  There was their standard 600m warmup—free, kick, drill, choice—then five lines of building, descending, all-outs, and race speeds…  It looked brutal but manageable until Haru drew parentheses around the whole damn thing and marked it _x2_.

Rin groaned.  “Your coach is evil.”

Haru gave him an apologetic look as he added their 200m freestyle cooldown to the bottom and capped the marker.  “She knows we only have limited training time…”

“Descending five hundreds?!”  Rin gestured at the board.

Haru studied the set for several seconds.  He finally shrugged.  “It was your idea to get sets from Coach Maekawa.”

“Sure, pin the blame on me,” Rin muttered, committing the lines to memory as he worked his swim cap over his hair.  Sousuke was conveniently missing all the fun due to late night flight duty between Sendai and Kushiro. 

“For someone who used to boast about 10k a day…”  Haru took the lane seven block, settling his goggles into place and side-eyeing him.  “Forty-five hundred should be a piece of cake.”

 _You sassy little…_ Rin clucked his tongue, climbing onto the lane six block.  “We’ll see who’s carrying who home at the end of the night, Haru.”  He met Haru’s smile with a grin, snapping the strap of his goggles as they bent down to grasp the edge of the blocks.  “Leaving on the top?”

Haru’s gaze flicked forward, to the water in front of them.  “Ah.”

-x-

Rin let himself glide into the wall, trailing bubbles and reaching out until there was smooth tile against his palm.  Grabbing one of the start holds, he rolled onto his back to catch his breath, every limb feeling like jelly.  He wasn’t out of shape—during the months they hadn’t been swimming, they’d always kept up with some form of dryland—but this level of training was something else entirely, even compared to prep for Nationals in high school when he was captain of his Yokohama team. 

Haru’s coach—former Olympian Maekawa Kotone—agreed to provide the sets since she’d be in town to work with them on Sunday and make adjustments as needed.  In the back of Rin’s mind, though, _what ifs_ gnawed at him—would long-distance coaching and part-time training be enough?  To get _to_ April, maybe (he’d made the qual times last year and was certain he could do it again), but making it onto the Japan Swim heat list—just getting to swim—wasn’t the _goal_.

Yet, every time he thought about doing more, Rin broke out into a heart-racing cold sweat, flashing back to March, to plane tickets purchased, hotel accommodations made, last-minute training plans, and the world turning upside-down in an instant.

 _One thing at a time, Matsuoka._   April was six months away.  Some days, _now_ was all he could handle, and that was OK.  

Waves rippled across Rin’s body as Haru finished one lane over, leisurely touching the wall and taking off his cap and goggles.  As Haru shook the water from his hair, tiny droplets sprinkled Rin’s skin.  Rin righted himself, tasting chlorine, as a shadow fell over them.

“Tough set, you guys?”  Makoto had a towel slung around his neck as he reached down, offering each of them a hand.

“It wasn’t so bad,” Haru said.

“ _Tch_.”  Rin let Makoto help him from the pool.  The kids and adults from the lesson had left and pool staff were getting ready to close up for the night.  It was nearly 8PM.  Rin retrieved their towels and water bottles while Haru erased the whiteboard.

“How was the lesson?” Haru asked.

Makoto’s face lit up.  “It was great.  I mean—” he smiled, green eyes going moist— “they’re so brave, you know?  Here I am trying to inspire them, but already…”  He trailed off, using a corner of his towel to hastily dab his eyes. 

 _We’re glad you’re here too, Makoto_.  Rin smiled, handing Haru his towel and water bottle.  “Wanna tell us more over dinner?”

“Sure!”

-x-

They ate at one of the late-night restaurants in Rifu—ever since Haru had discovered the saba set on the menu, they’d been regulars (fortunately the options were extensive with plenty of meat entrees and salads too)—chatting until the alarm beeped on Rin’s phone.  When they left, Haru drove, Rin relaxing in the backseat—letting Haru snag every minute with his best friend—as they headed into nearby Iwakiri.  Makoto and others from Hidaka University would be spread out between various home stays during their time in Sendai.

They passed Iwakiri Elementary School and turned down a side street where construction equipment was parked for the night, building repairs marked by orange cones and blue tarps.

“Thanks, you guys.  See you tomorrow?”  Makoto shouldered his gear bag.

Given the hour, Rin closed the trunk extra quietly.  “Same time tomorrow,” he said, perching his arm on Haru’s shoulder in the usual spot.

Haru, with a warm look in his eyes, nodded.

Makoto smiled.  “It’s good to see you two training again—together this time.”  He chuckled softly.  “Though I guess it doesn’t feel much like elementary school anymore.  Maybe, next year…”  Makoto didn’t finish the sentence, as if thinking better of what he was about to say.

“Have a good night, Makoto,” Haru said, the two best friends locking eyes briefly, leaving Rin to only guess at their silent conversation.

“You guys too.  ‘Night.”  Makoto left them with a wave, heading up the walkway to the front door.

They waited until he was inside, then climbed back into the car, Rin taking the passenger seat on the left.

Haru started the engine, pulling away from the curb and navigating out of the neighborhood, towards the freeway.

 _It’s nothing like elementary school_.  Rin smiled to himself, brushing his engagement ring with his thumb.  “He’s right, huh?  It’s the first time we’re seriously training together.  Aiming for the world.”  _So many years later than it should’ve been._   His smile faltered.  “Gomen,” he murmured, lacing his hands together in his lap, staring at his fingers.

“You don’t need to apologize, Rin.  You weren’t wrong—about this being more than a job.  About this needing everything.”

A lump formed in Rin’s throat.  _Before March, you wouldn’t have said that._   That he no longer regretted asking Haru to join him didn’t prevent Rin from feeling it like a gut punch—everything they’d been through in the last half a year, all of the sweat, tears, and heartbreak that had changed Haru’s mind. 

They slowed to a stop at a traffic light, Haru signaling in the left turn lane.  “To be honest, I used to think a lot of the reason you went so hard at this was because of what happened to your dad.  That you had to give the Coast Guard everything, because they brought your dad back alive.”

The light turned green, Rin’s eyes filling with tears as they made the turn.  Was that why?  Time hadn’t dulled even a sliver of that day—he could still remember the tight clasp of his mother’s hand, the sob that broke from her throat as the white and blue Coast Guard ship came alongside the dock with his father, safe and whole, leaning against the deck railing and waving to them.  It was that moment when Rin started to breathe again, that warmth returned to his numb and shattered self, though it took his father’s solid, _real_ embrace to slowly piece him back together.

Haru’s assertion probably wasn’t that far from the truth.  Rin swept an arm across his eyes.  “You’ve got me pegged, you know?”  He smiled despite his tears.  _Like usual._

“However much it was or wasn’t that.”  Haru’s voice was gentle.  “I’m sorry I pushed you so much.”

 _Haru._   Rin bit his lower lip, shaking his head.  “Nah, I…”  _I needed it.  To be honest with myself._   “I want to do it all this time.” 

Haru didn’t reply for a long while, the seconds stretching into minutes as they continued to drive.  Rin gazed out the window at darkened fields and lights in the distance.

“Everything means everything,” Haru murmured, at length.  “It’s not the same as doing it all, all at once.”

“This job doesn’t always require everything,” Rin said.  “Now it does, but—”

“But the searches will get called off.  You and Sousuke will go back to the Academy.  I’ll get reassigned to an air station somewhere.”

Rin lived in dread of that day, inevitable though it was.

“Rin, if.  _If_ we make it in April.”  Haru paused and Rin wasn’t breathing.  “Can everything be swimming together for…four and a half months?  Just once?”

Air threaded through Rin’s teeth, his shoulders tensing up.  “You…you mean?”

“I mean you take leave from the Academy, and me from flying.”

Rin’s lungs emptied.  The decision was so easy a year ago.  But now—  “Haru.”  Rin swallowed hard.  “If—”

“ _God forbid_.  I don’t mean if something happens.”

Rin wiped clammy hands against his warmup pants.  “Look, I’m not saying no to the travel and training and all that.  I just think—”

“I know it’s a lot,” Haru said.  “But I don’t think you’d regret it.”

 _That’s not fair to say._   “I _want_ to go to Worlds with you.  But how can you ask me to give up _everything_ for something that happens every two years?  Just going is enough, isn’t it?” 

Haru’s gaze landed on him, as if surprised by what he’d said.  His next words came out in a quiet whisper Rin had to strain to hear.  “Did you bury it that deep?”

“Huh?”

Haru exhaled, his voice and face softening as he turned back to the road.  “Rin, Worlds are only the odd years.”

“Shit, you’re right.”  Rin leaned back in his seat, his head hitting the headrest.  “I swear I know what date it is, what _year_ it is—this year and next.”  He snorted at himself.  “We watched Shanghai on TV.”  _I’m really not an idiot._

“…Then, you remember what happens in summer of 2012?  What we’re competing for in April?”

Rin closed his eyes, brow furrowed as he ran through it in his head.  The next Worlds were 2013 in Barcelona.  2011 was Shanghai, 2009 was Rome.  Before Rome, in 2008…

_Holy shit.  2012 is London.  Next year is the Summer Olympics in London.  April is the Japanese Olympic Trials—_

Rin suddenly couldn’t breathe—like the air in the car was suffocating him.  His head spun, the glow of the headlights becoming a white blur that filled his vision.  He slapped the controls for the window, but the influx of wind didn’t help.  “ _Fuck_.  Haru, pull over.  I need air.”

“Rin?!”  Haru quickly swerved to the shoulder and braked them to a firm stop.

Rin opened the door and climbed out into the cool night, the rhythmic blinking of the hazard lights illuminating the grassy curb and walkway beyond.  He drew deep breaths—practicing the same breathing exercises Honoka-san had taught them in June—as he leaned against the open car door.  The dizziness gradually ceased.

“Rin?”  Haru came around from the driver’s side and stood close by, watching him, hovering, not yet touching him.

Rin scraped hair from his forehead, tugging slightly.  “Why the fuck didn’t I realize we’re training for the Olympics?”

“We’ve…been kind of busy,” Haru said quietly.

And it was that for sure, _but_ …  Why did the mere mention—mere _thought_ —send his heart racing out of control with excitement _and_ make him feel like throwing up at the same time?

 _Did I bury it…?_   Haru’s words made sense as the longing, _the pull_ of his childhood dream welled up within him, stinging his eyes.  –The dream he thought he’d let go of a decade ago, replaced by the Coast Guard. 

But he _hadn’t_.  His Olympic dream was still there—it was alive—living, breathing, and huge, and he wanted it so badly he was shaking. 

It came with fear—a vast, gaping pit of it—and the tears spilled down Rin’s cheeks.  He looked at Haru—at the concern but calm on his fiancé’s face, at the steadiness of who they were _together_ , what they’d been through—

At the smallest move of Rin’s hands, Haru was _there_ , enfolding him, hugging him tight.  Rin clung to the one he loved, squeezing his eyes shut, though the tears still seeped free.

“ _Why am I so scared to want this?_ ” he whispered, his face pressed into Haru’s hair.

Haru held him, not saying a word—because there weren’t easy answers, because right now, Rin didn’t need cheap words or platitudes.  He needed Haru’s slow inhale and exhale, Haru’s heartbeat, Haru’s arms…

Other cars sped past where they were stopped, the rush of air rippling across their warmups.  As the seconds gathered into minutes, Rin’s tears gradually faded, his own breathing and pulse calming to sync with Haru’s.  The cool night didn’t offer anything more and, for a moment, he wished they were back in Tokyo, crashing at Makoto’s place and swimming between their regularly scheduled appointments—

 _Oh._   The realization—the irony—struck him as oddly funny.  Thursday nights were a convenient time to have a breakdown.  _If you’ve gotta…_

His chuckle came out a bit raw, Rin pulling away just enough to dry his eyes.  “Guess it’s good we have our weekly call with Honoka-san first thing tomorrow, yeah?”

Haru’s breath came out in a puff in Rin’s face—a sort of laugh, Haru-style.  He smiled, his blue eyes shining with liquid.  “ _Rin_.”  Haru hugged him again, shoulders hitching once.  “I love you.  We’ll figure this out.”

Rin hugged him back, not doubting a thing.  “Yeah.  We will.”

-x-

Their room was dark and quiet, clouds lazily passing the waxing moon beyond the window.  It was warm beneath the blankets, Haru using Rin’s shoulder for a pillow, the two of them cuddled together in their undershirts and boxer briefs. 

_Four and a half months, just once..._

“No wonder you were so adamant,” Rin murmured, his heart as calm as the moment, their hands intertwined and resting on his chest.  _You knew I never really gave up this dream._

Haru shifted against him, snuggling in, his breath skimming across white fabric.  “I don’t want to wait until Rio in 2016.”

“Yeah.”  Rin snuck his free arm beneath Haru’s tank top, holding his lover close.  “Who knows where we’ll be in five years.”  He still thought about the SRT in Haneda often, yet his picture of their future seemed to slip a little more north, a little more east—towards Tohoku—every day. 

“Wherever we are, I hope we’re married,” Haru said.  “With kids, even?”

Rin’s breath caught.  “Haru…”

Haru’s hand tightened around his.  “Rin, I want to adopt someday.  Any age is fine.  Just…kids who need a family.”

Rin closed moist eyes, knowing they were thinking of the same children—with sticky faces, missing baby teeth, crayon-scented fingers, and tiny grins that could light up the _world_ …  He smiled.  “Me too.”

* * *

Friday, October 7th, 2011

* * *

 _“The most I know about competitive swimming is what I’ve heard from you and Haruka-san,”_ Honoka said through Rin’s earbuds.  _“How good are you, Rin-san?”_

Rin leaned against the wall in a T-shirt and sweatpants, daylight streaming in through the window as he sat with his knees bent and sock feet perched on the edge of the mattress.  There wasn’t any point bothering with false modesty.  His JCG Academy records put him top ten in the country last year and Haru’s times had been even better.  “We’ve got a solid chance.” 

 _For the Olympics.  The real, no-shit 30 th Summer Olympiad._  Reality was no less astounding this morning.

Rin was alone in their room.  Haru had started the call with him, giving his weekly update, but left afterwards so Rin could have privacy.

“ _So what’s holding you back?_ ” Honoka asked.

The unease returned with her question, gathering in Rin’s stomach as he pressed his lips.  “It’s a long time to be away.”

_“From?”_

“From the Coast Guard.”  _From people who might need help._ “It feels…selfish.”

 _“But if I recall,”_ Honoka’s voice was unfailingly gentle, as always, _“you said you were ready to do it this year.  Before the tsunami happened.”_

A sigh fell from Rin’s lips, the headphone cords swaying as he tilted his head back to rest against the wall.  “Because I wanted to do it for Haru.”  _It was only Worlds then._

_“That felt less selfish?”_

“Yeah.”

There was a quiet tap on the other side of the phone, like the tip of a pen idly touching paper.  _“What’s different about London, Rin?”_

“The Olympics have been my dream since I was five.  It was my dad’s dream, too.”  He could still remember watching Atlanta on TV together, the summer of ‘96.

_“And you feel that…you’re not allowed to have a dream of your own, unless it’s noble and selfless?”_

A hot lump formed in Rin’s throat. 

_“Rin-san, whenever we’ve talked about the Coast Guard, you’ve always had all the right answers for why you chose what you did, why you want to serve.  Nothing would have me question your motivation or your dedication to the job.  At the same time, you don’t begrudge Haruka for wanting to do both.  Why do you think you’re holding yourself to a different standard?”_

He closed his eyes, forcing the words out.  “Haru says…  I can’t give up the Coast Guard because they saved my dad.”

_“…Do you think he’s right?”_

_I doubt he’s wrong.  Why am I the last one to figure these things out about myself?_

Honoka waited through his silence before speaking again.  _“What are you afraid of, Rin-san?  Are you afraid of doing well?  Winning?  Being successful?”_

“No.”  Rin shook his head.  “That’s…that’s not it.”  He _loved_ podiums with Haru—the cheer of the crowds, the weight of a medal around his neck, camera flashes…  And Haru beside him, most of all.

_“…Are you scared that something bad might happen, and you wouldn’t be here?”_

Rin’s breath caught, his palms breaking out in a sweat.

 _“London is, I believe, one flight away,”_ Honoka said.  _“There’s always the possibility of something happening, of things going wrong.  And there are no guarantees that being here means you can do anything about it.”_

“Yeah.”  Rin wiped his hands on his sweatpants.  “I know.  I _know_ there are going to be more emergencies.  And I know we’re not indispensable to the Coast Guard.”  Even if he forgot he was still a cadet sometimes.

_“Fears don’t have to be logical.  Most of the time, they’re not.”_

Rin nodded, even though she couldn’t see it.

_“Could it be you feel like you’re…tempting fate?  Asking for more than everything you already have?”_

_Fuck_ , that hit close to home.  “Mn.”  The sound stayed in Rin’s throat, not quite a word.

_“That day—when you got the call about your dad, do you remember bargaining with God?  ‘If he can just be alive, be safe, I’ll do’ …fill in the blank?”_

Rin’s eyes started to burn, filling with tears.  He toyed with the cord from his earbuds, the memories coming to him too easily—of the hours he’d stared at the phone in the dark tatami room, in the pouring rain, willing it to ring, to give him _hope_ —  “I…remember praying,” he whispered.  It was more crying than prayers.  “I don’t remember what.”

_“We’ve talked about bargaining being a normal part of grieving.  In your case, though, your father came back alive, on a Coast Guard ship.  Your prayers were answered.”_

Rin drew a long breath, pulling himself back from his memories.  “Yeah.”

_“There’s nothing wrong with wanting to give back—nothing wrong with spending your time and energy, even to the point of sacrifice, to serve others.  A good litmus test is whether you feel peace about what you’re giving up, or if there’s bitterness, jealousy—”_

Rin coughed lightly, wincing.

Honoka paused; he could imagine her nodding on the other side of the phone.  _“Because then we should talk about how much has become obligation, trying to repay a debt that can’t be repaid—something you’d never ask of the families of people you’ve saved.”_

“Ah.”  Rin closed his eyes.  He didn’t feel like a hero.  There were so many others that he couldn’t save…  So the idea that any of those people _owed him_ anything churned sour in his stomach.  “But I don’t know how to stop feeling this way.”

_“There’s no silver bullet for our fears.  But there are choices, day-by-day—little ones that make the big ones easier.”_

Rin shifted onto his back, blinking at the ceiling.  “Like training, one day at a time.”

 _“Exactly,”_ Honoka said, another soft tap coming through the phone.  _“Talking about what we’re afraid of helps, too.  With someone you trust, or journaling, or praying.  Bringing fears out into the open lets us see them for what they really are.  If you can’t stop yourself from thinking about the future—imagining it and worrying about it, remember that you won’t be alone there.”_

Because Haru and Sousuke would be with him.  He could already see them—standing on the edge of the pool, smiling at him and holding out their hands.  _Because we’re doing this together._ “The first time I met Haru, I saw nothing but endless possibilities…”   _And none of those were about the Coast Guard._

_“You can give yourself permission to feel that way again, Rin-san.”_

He exhaled hard, nodding.  Already, the tension in his back began to unravel.  He started to feel lighter, freer—

_“Maybe it’s time to listen to your five-year-old self for a change.  By that, I mean, don’t believe everything he tells you, but there’s certain to be some gems in there—things you’ve forgotten.”_

“Mm.”  Rin smiled.  “How do I do that?”

_“Hm, let’s do this for homework.  Try writing yourself a letter—from the child you were, to the adult you are now.  Let little Rin tell big Rin why it’s OK to dream this dream again.”_

“Hai.”  Fresh tears gathered in Rin’s eyes—warm and cathartic.  He drew one deep breath and then another, feeling himself slowly unwind.  Rin brushed at his eyes.  “Honoka-san, thank you.”

 _“Of course.”_   Her voice carried her smile to him.  _“Let’s talk again next week.  Same time?”_

“Ah.”

_“Take care, Rin-san.”_

“You too.”  He hung up, tugging the earbuds from his ears.  Rolling onto his stomach, he grabbed his journal off the shelf.  There was still a little bit of time before he had to report for duty.  Rin uncapped the pen with his teeth, flipping to a clean page.

 _Dear my older, stubborn, hot-shot self…_  

Rin snorted and grinned, a few tears dripping onto the page.  That sounded about right, huh?

-x-

Haru and Sousuke were in the crew locker room when Rin arrived—Haru zipping up his orange flight suit, Sousuke hanging out in his navy-blue uniform, looking fresh out of bed.  They were chatting quietly—about finding qualifying meets for April, by the snippets Rin caught.  (As if training wasn’t hard enough, they needed official competition times, too.)

Haru, even with his back turned, was the first to break off the conversation and notice him.  “Rin.”  Blue eyes read his face with a flick (Rin knew his eyes were still a bit puffy, though his nose was less red) and softened.  “Good talk?”

“Ah.”  Rin nodded, raking one hand through his hair as he joined them.  “I’ve got a lot to think about.”

Sousuke smiled, his shoulder leaned against the bank of lockers.  “Any epiphanies?”

“Mn.  Remember after the Atlanta Opening Ceremonies—when my dad made us Olympic torches with sparklers and rolled up wet newspapers?”

Sousuke chuckled.  “Yep.  Your mom thought we were gonna burn down the neighborhood.”

Haru arched a brow.  “Did you?”

“Not that I remember,” Rin murmured, reaching into his pocket for a folded page, torn out of his journal.

“She made Rin’s dad follow us around with a bucket of water,” Sousuke said.  “I was almost six, but Rin was barely five.”

“Not barely!”  Rin blushed hard as he unfolded the paper—blank side showing—and smoothed out the creases.

Haru’s gaze fell to his hands.  “What’s that, Rin?”

“Don’t laugh.  I’m not the artist, alright?”  Rin pursed his lips.  “But Honoka-san wanted me to remember the dreams I had as a kid, so…”  His face flamed as he offered the page.

Haru turned the paper over, revealing Rin’s doodle—three stick figures (the ink slightly blurred from Rin’s tears) in matching Team Japan swimsuits, atop an Olympic podium—

“You can tell who’s who by the hair,” Rin muttered, shoving his hands into the pockets of his uniform slacks.

His fiancé and best friend were silent for a whole damn minute, studying the drawing.

The back of Rin’s neck caught fire.  _Ugh, you guys—_

“ _Shit_ ,” Sousuke muttered in a whisper, looking away, hastily wiping at his eyes.

_Sousuke—_

Haru lifted glistening eyes to his.  “Can I frame it, Rin?”

“No, you can’t _frame_ it!”  _Little kids draw better than me!_

“Can I hang it in my locker?”

Sousuke plucked the page from Haru’s fingers.  “Only if I can make a copy to hang in mine.”

“ _Oi!_ ”  Rin made a grab for the paper (and missed, Sousuke holding it out of reach).  “I only brought it to _show_ you—”

Haru caught his hand, interweaving their fingers.  “ _Rin_.”  Love shone from his eyes, Sousuke’s too.

Rin settled back on his heels, drawing half a breath.  His buried dream was a door flung wide open in front of them, with fresh breezes and sakura petals and everything still possible.  Blinking back tears, he grinned at the ones he loved.  “So, all in?”

Sousuke added his hand, their three-way grip strong like the bonds between them.

_“All in.”_

* * *

Sunday, October 9th, 2011

* * *

Rin stretched for the wall, water splashing his face and shoulders as his palms hit tile.  It was a fast hundred fly, right up there with his top times, he was sure of it.  Breathing hard, Rin held onto the side of the pool as he looked up for the verdict—

“Hm.”  Coach Maekawa glanced between him and the stopwatch in her hand, lips pursed, one brow lifted.  “I see I’ve been too easy on you, Matsuoka.”

_Ah, hell._

“Sixty second rest and let’s do that again.  Sprint like you mean it!  And don’t breathe so much.”

“Hai.”  Rin managed not to grumble as he hauled himself from the pool and grabbed his water bottle.

Sousuke, one lane over, glided into the wall after a building four hundred meters of butterfly.  He paused, left arm draped over the lane line.

“How was that, Yamazaki?” Maekawa asked.  “Can you feel the difference?”

“Ah.”  Sousuke nodded, rotating his right arm out of the water, his deltoids glistening wet under the overhead lighting.  “Less strain for sure.  Feels slower, though.”

Maekawa made notes on her clipboard.  “It will at first, but we’ll get you back down to your normal times.  For now, though, I want you to keep practicing this adjustment.  Can you give me another four hundred, building?”

Sousuke smiled up at her.  “Yes, ma’am.”  Ducking underwater, he pushed off and came up to nice, _easy_ strokes of fly…

Rin snorted.  One tiny form correction and Sousuke got to smile and _‘yes ma’am’_ and swim light sets all day.  Meanwhile…

“No need to be jealous, Matsuoka.”  Maekawa winked at him.  “I gave you an adjustment, too—less breathing.”  She gestured to the block, lifting her whistle.  “Come on.”

Rin inhaled and stepped up—

-x-

 _Everything_ hurt after Maekawa was done with him for the day.  Rin hissed as he lowered himself into the ice bath in the Aquatic Center recovery room, cold water encasing his feet and legs and—  _Fuck, it’s cold!_  

Haru, across from him in the same tub, looked happy as a clam, sipping from a bottle of Aquarius like he was hot tubbing with a cocktail. 

The water was up to Rin’s shoulders once he was seated—way above nipple level, not to mention the other parts of his body that reacted to the cold.  “Six minutes, huh?”

“Rescue swimmers train in colder water than this, don’t they?”

_In a wetsuit, you ass._

Haru’s eyes sparkled with mirth.  “I’ll warm you up later if you’re cold, Rin,” he murmured.

Rin was too frozen to blush.  “No, you won’t.  We’re sharing a room tonight.”  The _Refresh Plaza_ was a training facility on the _Grande 21_ sports park grounds, across a sky bridge from the Aquatic Center.  There would be six of them in one room tonight—their Coast Guard three plus other athletes in town for tomorrow’s JOC-sponsored _Olympic Day Festa_. 

“Mn.”  Haru didn’t look terribly deterred by their pending accommodations.  (And really, they’d coaxed each other into shower stalls plenty of times, so he was right, frankly.)  “Just like on ship…”  Haru slid his right calf along the outside of Rin’s left—

Rin jerked away.  “You’re a fricking icicle, Haru!”  _I swear you’re cold-blooded.  How else would you be coming on to me in 12_ _°C water?_

Haru exhaled through his nose like an irritated cat and went back to his sports drink.

Rin sighed.  “Haru…”  He forced his limbs to move, shifting around the edge of the circular tub until they were sitting together, shoulders and hips touching.  Rin glanced around the sparsely-populated recovery room before draping his arm along the lip of the tub behind Haru.  “How’s this?”  He nudged his lover underwater with a hip. 

Haru leaned back, using Rin’s arm for a pillow and closing his eyes.  “Better,” he murmured.  He took another sip from his drink, then offered it.  “Want some?  It’s warmer than the bath.”

 _Ironically_.  Rin smiled, accepting the bottle—and Haru’s indirect kiss—as he drank.  “Thanks.”  The resulting influx of warmth he felt had nothing to do with grapefruit-flavored electrolyte water…and everything to do with the one beside him.

-x-

“We’ll be passing out your T-shirts for tomorrow as you leave,” Maekawa said from the front of the _Refresh Plaza_ conference room, attended by others on the organizing committee.  The _Olympic Day Festa_ schedule was on the whiteboard next to her.  “If there are no other questions…”

It was hard to pay attention.  There were 22 athletes in the room—19 former Olympians plus the three of them.  Rin was sitting behind a volleyball player and a gymnast; in the front row was a competitor in table tennis who had been to Athens _and_ Beijing…  He sat next to Haru and tried not to quiver. 

“…Saeki-san will give the closing remarks.”

Rin managed to gather himself as Saeki Aina took the floor, a JOC logo pin shining from the lapel of her dark gray suit jacket. 

“Athletes.”  She inclined her head, her black hair swept back into a clean twist.  “There is nothing to say but thank you.  Thank you for being here, thank you for making tomorrow possible, thank you for sharing your love of sport with the children here in Sendai.  As you know, this inaugural event is the first of many, with a sister event tomorrow in Higashi-Matsushima and events planned in November in Omori, Oyoyodai, and Takada, with more to follow next year.  Together, we will carry forward our wish and yours—to see these children regain their smiles.”

 _Ah._   Rin swallowed hard, his hands curling against his knees.  Beside him, Haru blinked glistening eyes.

At the head of the room, Saeki bowed low.  “Arigatou gozaimasu.”

Chairs scraped the floor as they stood—all 22 of them—and bowed in return.  Rin’s gratitude for the event, for everyone in the room, stung his eyes.

With the meeting concluded, athletes filed out the door or gathered in groups to chat.  Rin, Haru, and Sousuke got their T-shirts—white with the red rising sun on the chest and right sleeve.  Racing bibs for the front and back had their names and _Japan Coast Guard, Swimming_.  Haru’s also said, _Japanese National Team._   Rin touched the package reverently, brushing his thumb over the JOC logo—the Japanese flag and the Olympic rings—on the upper left of the T-shirt.

“Captain Nanase, Captain Yamazaki, Captain Matsuoka.”

Rin’s eyes widened as JOC Board Member Saeki came to join them.

“Saeki-san.”  Haru bowed, Rin and Sousuke following suit.

Saeki bowed to the two of them in particular.  “It’s a pleasure, Captains.”

“Likewise, please,” Rin said, bowing lower.

“I won’t take much of your time, as I’m sure you’re eager to rest before tomorrow’s activities.  However, there is one matter I wished to discuss with the three of you in person,” Saeki said.  “Following your withdrawal from the Japan Swimming Championships last April, for the same tragedy which brings us here today, we of the JOC spoke with the Japanese Swimming Federation.”  She opened the leather portfolio she carried, taking out three A4-sized envelopes.  “It was the unanimous decision of both organizations to extend your qualification to the Championships this coming spring.”

Rin didn’t breathe or blink as she handed him the envelope with his name on it.  He’d gotten one before—last year—but not with _London Olympic Trials_ on the front!

“Of course, we hope you’ll go much farther than Tokyo, but that will depend on you.  Captain Nanase, Captain Yamazaki, Captain Matsuoka—”

He looked up at the mention of his name, meeting the unfiltered sincerity in Saeki’s gaze.

“—Thank you for your service to our country and to our people in our greatest time of need.”  She bowed to them formally, deeply.

Rin clutched the envelope, speechless, his eyes burning.  The only thing he could do was bow in return and try to hold back the tears.

-x-

In the small common area on the third floor of the Plaza, Rin leaned on the back of a cushioned chair, phone pressed to his ear and ringing.  _Come on, pick up.  It’s not that late._

It was the fifth ring before he heard his father’s voice.  _“Rin!”_   The TV noise in the background faded.  _“I thought you’d be busy all day.”_

“Just taking a short break.  What are you up to?”

Sousuke, on his phone nearby, rolled his eyes at Rin’s attempt to play it cool.

_“Watching the news and a few shows—you know, the usual.  There’s this new drama, well your mother says it’s too sappy, but—”_

“—Dad.”  Rin grinned, unable to hold it in any longer.  “Plan on Tokyo in April.  The first week of April.”

_“In April…?”_

“Because I’m swimming at the Olympic Trials!  Me and Haru and Sousuke.”

There was a two second pause that felt like an eternity.  Then—

_“Holy shit!  I’m buying plane tickets to London.  Miya!  Miya!”_

“Dad!”  Rin laughed.  “One thing at a time!”

There was a clatter in the background and his mom’s slightly muffled voice.  _“Tora!  What’s wrong?  What are you yelling about?”_

_“Nothing’s wrong!  Our son’s swimming in the Olympic Trials in April!”_

_“Oh?  Oh!  Rin!  Oh my goodness!”_

_“We gotta book plane tickets to London and find a good hotel and—”_

“Dad!”  Rin scrubbed his face, still laughing.

_“Tora!  Give me that phone!”_

_“Wait, I can put it on speaker.  I think.”_   There was some random beeping.  _“Where’s the button?  Rin, how do I put my phone in speaker mode?”_

Rin and his mom answered in unison.  “It’s the button that looks like a speaker.”

There was more fumbling on the other end of the line…followed by static and his parents talking over each other.

_“Hello?”  “Is it working?”  “Did I accidentally hang up?”_

_“Rin-honey, can you hear us?”_   Miyako asked.

“I can hear you just fine.”

_“Oh honey, congratulations!  What about Haruka and Sousuke?”_

“Yeah.  They’re coming, too.”  Rin caught their eyes briefly, sharing smiles as they all made their calls (though Rin’s was the loudest by far).

_“Oh honey!  Oh, Rin!”_

_“We’re gonna make signs.  Babe, I’m gonna have new T-shirts printed.  My son’s going to the Olympic Trials!”_

Rin sniffed and grinned, fighting the tears.  “I love you—Dad, Mom.”  He brushed at his face, clutching the phone.  “ _So much_.”

* * *

Monday, October 10th, 2011

* * *

It was a crisp and clear fall day with plenty of sunshine for the first ever _Olympic Day Festa_.  They gathered in the open air Hitomebore Stadium, in the grassy infield—the athletes and organizers and hundreds of Sendai children. 

“Rin-nii!”  “Haru-nii!”  “Sou-nii!” 

The three of them, proudly wearing their JOC T-shirts and JCG race bibs, were mobbed by the kids.  Already, there were eager smiles on every face, eyes bright with excitement waiting for the festivities to begin.  Rin tried his best to keep his group quiet during opening remarks by the JOC Chairman and Sendai’s mayor, but his inner five-year-old was just as impatient as they were.

Finally, the speakers were done (it was only a few minutes, really) and all eyes turned towards the stadium entrance.  Even knowing what was coming, Rin was breathless with anticipation.  They saw the smoke first, then the glow of the flame—

“It’s the torch!”  “Look, the Olympic torch!”  The kids pointed and cheered so loud Rin didn’t doubt he’d be deaf by the end of the day.

The torch was carried by an Olympian and then two middle schoolers.  They circled the track once before heading to the mini cauldron—

It didn’t matter that it was only a replica—not to Rin, not to the kids pressed in around him.  They cheered and shouted like it was their own Atlanta, Sydney, Athens, Beijing—  As the cauldron blazed with the Olympic flame, Rin felt an answering flicker inside him, like something moved back where it belonged.

“Rin-nii?”  There was a tug on Rin’s hand.  Shouhei had black hair and reddish-brown eyes.  He’d just turned six in early September and was in Makoto’s swimming class.  “Are you gonna swim in London?”

Rin smiled down at the boy.  “I have to swim in Tokyo first.  If I do good enough there, then…”  He nodded, saying it out loud for the first time.  “Then, I’ll swim in London, too.”

Shouhei’s eyes widened.  “You’ll do it, Rin-nii!  I know you will.  You and Haru-nii and Sou-nii.”

Rin squeezed the boy’s hand.  “Will you cheer us on, Shou-kun?”

“Yeah!  Me and my mom and my sister, too!”  Shouhei grew quiet, looking up at him shyly.  “Rin-nii…do you think?  If I work hard with Coach Tachibana…  Do you think—someday—I could be an Olympic swimmer, too?”

Rin settled one knee in the grass, eye-level with the boy.  “I was about your age when I first had this dream, when I first started to swim.”  He offered his hand—his pinkie—to Shouhei and to his younger self.  “Let’s try together.  Want to?”

Shouhei’s face lit with delight, his smile rivaling the sun as he curled his tiny pinkie around Rin’s.  “Hai!”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I considered writing the Olympic Day, but I really didn't think I could do it justice. So please checkout this [JOC highlight video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kqiKxIywnHU) (with English text) instead. The introduction is the first few minutes. To skip directly to scenes with the kids, [try this link](https://youtu.be/kqiKxIywnHU?t=141) or go to time 2:21ish.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Brief, mild nsfw/adult content

* * *

Friday, March 23rd, 2012

* * *

_“Coast Guard three-three-eight, you are cleared to land, runway three-six-right.  Winds are three-five-zero at one-two.”_

_An easy headwind—not bad_.  Rin reached up, flicking a switch on the overhead as Sousuke keyed the radio from the right seat. 

“Cleared to land, Coast Guard three-three-eight.”

There was still a dusting of snow on the ground as they broke out of the clouds on final approach.  Shin-Chitose Airport, with its four parallel north-south runways and terminal in the center, lay surrounded by white and green fields off the nose of their Gulfstream V.  Rin made one adjustment to the contrast on his head’s up display before settling back in his seat, left hand on the yoke, right hand resting lightly on the throttles.  They were lined up for runway 36R, just west of the main terminal, descending steadily on a three-degree glideslope.  The Coast Guard’s Chitose Air Station was on the north side of the field, at the end of the runway—where Haru was waiting.

This was the eleventh flight Rin managed to finagle over the last five months, ever since their assignments separated them at the end of October, last year.  While Rin, Sousuke, and their advisors struggled to make sense of their credits and coursework given their extended absence from the Academy, Haru had been stationed here in Chitose, an hour from his parents’ place in Sapporo.  It had been a _long_ five months, going from tripping over each other in close quarters to having hundreds of kilometers between them.  Rin missed the petty arguments over who folded whose laundry wrong as much as he longed for Haru’s scent on his clothes and on his skin… 

There had been respite—Christmas in Sendai, New Years in Iwatobi, an extended weekend in Hiroshima when Haru came down to celebrate Rin’s 21st birthday.  But the winter weeks in-between were filled with empty sheets beside him and brief Skype calls that only seemed to exacerbate the distance.  He’d volunteered for every Hiroshima-Chitose flight he could get away with, even if it was only a quick turn, even if he never got to leave the airport.  But the best were the late flights that required an overnight, when they’d go back to Haru’s apartment and spend their precious hours of rest doing anything but sleeping.

It wasn’t sustainable.  Rin knew it and he was sure Haru did too.  Somedays, he daydreamed about giving up the Academy entirely—setting aside rescue swimming and the SRT and just flying instead.  He was good at it; it was a necessary and skilled role.  They could request to be stationed together, get an apartment, have the life they wanted…  Other times, he fantasized about Haru joining the Academy—training and swimming _together_ —but those were thoughts he never voiced aloud.  ~~~~

“ _Approaching minimums_ ,” the automated voice announced, readouts flashing on Rin’s displays.  “… _Minimums_.”

Rin checked his speed and rate of descent.  “Landing.  Automation’s coming off.”

“Rog,” Sousuke said, monitoring the approach as Rin kicked off autopilot and autothrottles. 

They flew over the runway threshold, speeding down to the touchdown point as Rin smoothly drew the throttles to idle. 

_“Fifty…thirty…twenty…”_

He pulled back into an easy flare, allowing the main gear to kiss concrete before he relaxed the column and let the nose derotate.  Speedbrakes fired and Rin popped the thrust reversers, the resulting deceleration driving him forward against his five-point harness as they rolled out between grassy berms glistening with tufts of snow.

_“Coast Guard three-three-eight, right turn on Echo-four and contact Ground.  Good day.”_

Sousuke keyed the mic.  “Right turn on Echo-four.  Three-three-eight is switching to Ground, good day.”

Rin coasted on idle thrust, depressing the brake pedals just prior to the end of the runway.  Slowed to a reasonable taxi speed, he stowed the speedbrakes and made the 90° turn.

“Flaps?” Sousuke asked, his hand on the flap handle.

“Sure.”

Sousuke cleaned up flaps and got back on the radio.  “Ground, Coast Guard three-three-eight is with you, clear of the active at Echo-four, requesting straight ahead to the JCG ramp.”

_“Coast Guard three-three-eight, approved as requested.  Welcome to Chitose.”_

“Thanks, three-three-eight.”

Their ground crew and marshaller were up ahead, orange batons directing them into a right 180°, to park facing north next to a Beechcraft that was being prepped for departure.  Rin braked them to a smooth stop, running through the shutdown checklist before cutting the engines.  Only then did he sneak a glance towards the white and blue Coast Guard hangar and the waiting crew standing rampside.

Even at a distance, he could pick out Haru in his aircrew uniform with luggage beside him.  No matter what happened at the upcoming championships, the next two weeks belonged to them (though that didn’t do a damn thing to alleviate the impatience roiling in his nerves right _now_ ). 

Ground crew plugged into interphone at the nose.  _“Flight deck, Ground, good afternoon.”_

Rin keyed his mic.  “‘Afternoon.”

_“Fuel truck’s on the way, sir.”_

“Thanks.”  Rin read off their fuel quantities.  “Clean flight.  We won’t need anything else.”

_“Understood.”_

There was a knock at the flight deck door, Rin flicking the switch to allow entry as Sousuke started to gather his things. 

Their cabin crewmember poked his head into the cockpit.  “Doors are disarmed, Captain Matsuoka.  Ready to deplane?”

“Ah.  All yours, Hatanaka-san.”  Rin slid his seat back, stretching out his legs, folding his arms, not quite tapping his foot against the floor (yet).

Sousuke snorted good-naturedly as he got up, patting Rin on the shoulder. 

Rin sighed.  “See you in Tokyo.”  He managed a smile, offering his fist.

“Ah.”  Sousuke bumped their knuckles together.  “Safe flight.”

“You too.”

Their passengers disembarked, heading across the ramp towards the hangar while Sousuke joined his flight crew at the Beechcraft and started an exterior inspection.

“Need anything?” Hatanaka asked.  “Coffee, water?”

Rin shook his head.  “Thanks.”  What he _needed_ was for Haru to get his ass over here.  It was a good thing they had hotel reservations tonight and nothing beyond the usual postflight responsibilities once they landed in Tokyo.  Otherwise, Rin might be in danger of violating their _‘don’t do anything on the clock that could get us fired’_ policy.

He switched his things over to the right seat, putting their ground crew on speaker before transferring his headset.  Then Rin leaned against the back of the first officer’s chair, waiting, breathing, nearly glaring out the windows as he watched Haru approach…

Hatanaka’s voice came from the cabin.  “Welcome aboard, Captain Nanase.”

“Thanks, Hatanaka-san.”

Rin _felt_ Haru’s voice, his nerves prickling with Haru’s proximity, with _heat_ that warmed his skin, making the collar of his uniform shirt feel too tight. –None of which boded well for their ninety-minute flight to Haneda.

“Can I take your bag?”

“Thanks.  I’ll do my walk before coming up.”

Their few passengers boarded, Rin grabbing Haru’s flight bag from Hatanaka and stowing it in the crew closet.  The refuel truck came and went, Haru doing what felt like the most thorough preflight walk in history before he finally came onboard and entered the flight deck…

His hair was freshly trimmed, black fringe swept aside above blue eyes Rin hadn’t seen in what felt like an eternity (in reality, it had been twelve days).  His uniform was immaculate—black tie perfectly knotted, shoulder epaulets gleaming—and the flick of his gaze, giving Rin a once-over, was anything but subtle.

Rin gnawed on the inside of his cheek, lacing his fingers together to avoid shoving Haru up against a bulkhead or any of the other thoughts suddenly running through his mind.  “Final paperwork?” he asked, unabashedly watching as Haru took off his jacket and hung it in the closet.

“Should just be a minute,” Haru said, his back to the cabin as he slipped the top button of his collared shirt free.  It was his usual habit, but Rin’s gaze was drawn to his fiancé’s Adam’s apple, to the dip below… 

Rin pressed his lips, his memories oh-so-helpfully providing familiar tastes and sounds and—  Clearing his throat, he averted his eyes.

Forty-four seconds later, Hatanaka handed release paperwork through the doorway.  “Ready to close up?”

Haru skimmed the paper and nodded.  “Thanks, Hatanaka-san.  We’ll be on headset.  Advise when you’re finished.”

“Yes, sir.”  Hatanaka turned back to the cabin as Haru closed the door.

As soon as the latch clicked, Rin had Haru by the tie, their mouths colliding in a kiss—

Haru’s lips were firm against his with the same impatience, warm arms encircling his waist, Rin’s back gently, _soundlessly_ hitting the sidewall.  Paperwork crinkled as Haru’s fingers dug into Rin’s hip, Rin grunting quietly into their kiss as sweet, eager pulses of heat ran through him.  _Fuck_.  He loosened his grip on Haru’s tie, giving his lover a light push to break the kiss.  Even though they were tucked against the flight deck door, they really shouldn’t risk giving the ground crew a show…

Their noses brushed as Haru drew back, as blue eyes softened with mirth and love.  They settled for a hug, holding each other tight.

“Missed you,” Rin whispered, nuzzling Haru’s ear, silky strands of black hair tickling his cheek.

“Me too.”  Haru breathed against him in a sigh, his face tucked into Rin’s hair.

At the thud of the exterior door being drawn up and secured, they parted and settled into their side-by-side seats, donning their headsets and finally getting to work.

-x-

After a brisk (but perfectly within regulation) takeoff and climb to cruising altitude, Haru flicked off the seatbelt sign and pressed the button for the PA.  “Should be a smooth ride.  We’ll start our descent in thirty.”

Rin rolled his eyes, releasing the straps of his harness (except for the lap belt) and adjusting his headset.  He left the thing on—right ear only—but moved the boom mic up and out of the way.  “If you were any more concise…”

“I don’t see the point in wasting words or time, Rin,” Haru said, mirroring him from the left seat.

Rin arched a brow.  He double and triple checked his mic was off before letting the tease into his voice.  “Time for what, Haru?”

Haru glanced up at the overhead panel, at the area microphone for the cockpit voice recorder.  “Crossword puzzles.  There are so many crossword puzzles I want to do with you.”

Rin smirked.  “We’ve only got thirty minutes.”

“I know.”  Haru turned towards him, leaning across the center console with desire glittering in his eyes.  “I was thinking we’d just read the hints for now, and save all the doing and filling in for later.”

“I’m game,” Rin whispered, angling his mouth across Haru’s and burying his fingers into black hair.

-x-

“So…good flight?”  Sousuke was waiting for them—already in street clothes—as they entered the Haneda aircrew locker room.

“It was fine,” Rin said, loosening his tie and dropping his flight bag on the bench so he could change. 

Beside him, Haru nodded, pulling trousers and a T-shirt from his bag.

“‘Fine,’ huh?”  Sousuke slipped his hands into the pockets of his jeans, leaning up against the lockers.  “Sounded like you barely got your tongue out of his mouth for some of those radio calls.”

“Oi!”  Rin’s face caught fire.  He chucked a pair of socks in his best friend’s direction, not that it helped.  Sousuke wasn’t _wrong_ …

Haru didn’t look up from unbuttoning his shirt.  “It was very fine,” he said, with a small smile that made everything ten times worse.

“Haru!” 

-x-

After they finished changing (and the heat somewhat faded from Rin’s face), they toted their luggage onto the Tokyo Monorail and switched trains at Hamamatsuchō Station for the JR Yamanote line.  The car was crowded at the tail end of evening rush hour, but Rin was hardly going to complain about being pressed bodily against Haru—the swaying and brushing that sent his heart back to racing.  He should’ve been hungry, probably—it was late and he hadn’t eaten more than a protein bar since lunch in Hiroshima.  But Rin’s only wishes right now involved privacy and fewer clothes…

Loosely clutching the strap above, Rin leaned his head against his arm, bringing his lips close to Haru’s ear.  “Dinner later?” he asked.

Haru slipped a hand underneath Rin’s unzipped jacket, fingers gliding down his side in a warm, impatient caress through the thin fabric of Rin’s T-shirt.  “Much later.”

The air trailed out through Rin’s teeth as he glanced up at the digital board, counting the number of stops still to go…

-x-

At Sugamo station, they finally got off the train (Sousuke switched to the subway to stay with friends in Bunkyō).  Fortunately, the _APA Hotel Sugamo Ekimae_ was adjacent to the station—a fifteen-story building lit up orange and gold against the Tokyo night sky.  The glossy lobby was all glass, mirrors, and chandeliers, Rin hanging back with their luggage while Haru handled check-in.  The place supposedly had a communal bath, which was probably why Haru picked it, though even that would fall to _later, much later_ , on their priority list.

After a couple minutes, Haru came back with keycards.  They rode the elevator to the seventh floor in silence, not touching, and followed the numbers to their room.  Rin wet his lips, heart pounding as Haru unlocked the door.

Bed, desk, mirror, tiny Western-style bathroom—check.  The room had all the necessities and Rin didn’t spend one more second looking.  –Not as they fumbled for each other’s belts, their mouths sealed together, tongues meeting amidst hot, eager kisses.  Rin backed Haru against the wall, flicking Haru’s belt aside to find the button and zipper underneath, pushing Haru’s trousers down to his thighs.  In answer, Haru made quick work of Rin’s pants, never breaking the kiss, and pulled him in…

Rin groaned at the contact, even through their underwear, shivering with pleasure as a moan vibrated in Haru’s throat.  He locked his arms around Haru’s shoulders, leaning in, letting his hips move against Haru’s in _slow_ , maddening glides—

“Fuck,” he muttered, breaking away from Haru’s lips for a shuddering breath.  Rin buried his face in Haru’s neck instead, kissing and nipping between hard puffs of air.

Haru gasped, fingers digging into his hips, meeting the rhythm Rin set.  “It’s been too long.”

“A month?” Rin murmured, not disagreeing.  They’d been together earlier in March, but not like this.

“Too long, Rin,” Haru said, giving him a shove and pulling him into the bathroom by the hand.

Ostensibly, they were only going in there to wash up, but as they shed each other’s clothes, kissing, touching, teasing…  There was a narrow ledge adjacent to the sink that Rin lifted his fiancé onto, pressing Haru against the mirror—

They didn’t make it to the bed until round two.

-x-

For dinner (much later), they found an Italian place that didn’t take itself too seriously so Haru could order horrible things on pizza.  Saba plus pineapple was an _acquired_ taste that Rin had learned to tolerate over years of random meals together.  It wasn’t _that_ bad (honestly, Haru could’ve asked for anything right now, even a pool on the moon and Rin would’ve signed up to be an astronaut and architect—throw some physics in there too, probably—and made it happen).  He left Haru perusing the take-out menu (because that would take a while) and hit up the 7-Eleven next door for drinks and snacks.

Back in their hotel room, they spread a spare blanket over sheets rumpled by their earlier intimacies and made a picnic on the bed in their T-shirts and sweats.  Rin steeled himself as he opened the pizza box, the scent of mackerel overwhelming all else—

His eyes widened.  “Haru…”  The thin-crust pizza was generously studded with ripe pineapple, but there was only saba on one half.  The other half was ham—just for him.

“What?” Haru asked, opening a large container of salad and placing a napkin and cutlery beside Rin’s knee.

 _This is love._   Rin pressed his lips, warm and suddenly emotional (but they’d just had sex, damnit, and he was still blissed out, his heart open and melty inside and _connected_ to Haru’s.)  So who could blame him that the smallest, silliest things choked him up—made him fall in love all over again?

Haru was looking at him, but Rin didn’t trust himself to actually form words.  He separated slices for them instead, handing Haru a piece covered with mackerel and tapping their crusts together in a silent toast.

Haru’s eyes warmed with pleasure, reading Rin’s heart in an instant.

“Itadakimasu—”

-x-

There was one slice of pizza left in the box, mackerel and ham comingling on top, which was why it hadn’t been eaten yet.  Pleasantly full, Rin rolled onto his back, blinking at the ceiling as a contented sigh fell from his lips.  “Gochisousa…”

Haru went to the bathroom and came back, lying on his side, using Rin’s thighs as a pillow.  “Mm.”  He closed his eyes and snuggled in, smiling.

 _Fuck, I love you so much._   Rin pressed his lips, watching Haru relax.  He wanted this forever—occupying the same space at the same time, being _themselves_ , not having to think about how many days or hours they had left.  The weekend was all theirs—no work, no training, no obligations, just each other.  Come Monday, they were headed out of town for a final week of training and taper with the Chūgoku- and Hokkaido-based coaches Maekawa helped them connect with.  The Japanese Swimming Championships started on April 2nd and would run for seven days of heats, semi-finals, and finals to select the National Team for London.  If they made it, training camp commenced the next day—April 9th—at the National Training Center just a few klicks north of Sugamo.

Rin wasn’t anxious about going anymore, he was only anxious about _not_ making it, or only one of them qualifying…  He’d lost count of how many times he’d woken in the middle of the night, dreaming of the various scenarios, the outcomes never in his favor.  (Like he needed his subconscious sabotaging him.)  But they couldn’t get complacent—not with fierce competition and brutal qualification times, and only two slots per event up for grabs…

Honoka often reminded him not to worry about things he couldn’t control, to focus instead on the changes he could effect and his own efforts.  Aside from training and trying his best, London was out of his hands.  _But_ …

Rin found Haru’s hand against the blankets, squeezing gently.  “Na, Haru.”

“Hm?”

He cleared his throat lightly, gazing up at the white ceiling above them.  “I’ve been thinking…about requesting a transfer.  Going back to flying.”  _Leaving the Academy._

Haru shifted, his head lifting from Rin’s legs.  “Rin, you just got back.”

“I know.”  Rin exhaled, turning onto his side to meet the silent questions in Haru’s eyes.  “It’s just…the last year’s made me think a lot about what’s really important.”  _And how fleeting and brief and precious life is._

Haru studied his face for a long minute before he settled again, cheek resting against Rin’s hip, their fingers weaving together.  “Let’s see if my transfer goes through before you decide anything major like that.”

Rin blinked.  “Huh?”

“I filed it before our flight today,” Haru said.  “—requesting to be reassigned to Hiroshima.  Or Miho or Fukuoka as backups.  At least it would be closer—we could spend our weekends together.”

“Haru…”  Warmth gathered in Rin’s eyes.  He sniffed hard, gripping Haru’s hand.  “You didn’t _tell_ me—”

Haru looked slightly sheepish, his cheeks pink.  “Mm…  I wanted to tell you in person.  Not over Skype.” 

Rin bit his lower lip, pushing the pizza box out of the way before tackling Haru against the bed, napkins and cutlery scattering to the floor.  “I love you,” he whispered, gazing down into the blue of Haru’s eyes as he felt the stress and uncertainty melt away.  “How did you know?”

Haru’s eyes softened.  He reached up, tucking strands of hair behind Rin’s ear, his engagement ring brushing Rin’s cheek.  “Think I can’t tell how anxious you’ve been lately?  I want you to enjoy your Olympic dream without worrying about what’s next for us.”  His thumb came to rest at the corner of Rin’s mouth.  “I’m tired of being apart, too.  If we don’t have to be—”

Rin didn’t need to hear another word—he couldn’t and still keep himself together.  Moisture welled at the seams of his eyelids as he kissed the one he loved, not caring that Haru tasted faintly like mackerel.  Haru made a quiet, startled noise—he had been talking—before he relaxed and kissed Rin back…

At length, they parted for breath, Rin capturing his fiancé’s hand, pressing his lips to the ring on Haru’s finger.  “Can we get married in London?”

Haru shook his head.  “I checked.”

For once, Rin wasn’t deterred.  “Haru, what if…  What if we do it anyway—have a ceremony here or wherever, even if it’s just for us and our families, even if it doesn’t come with a piece of paper?  What’s important is the promises we make to each other— _that’s_ what makes us husbands.”

Haru’s eyes went wide.  “ _Rin_ …”

“I _want_ it all, but—”  _Why are we waiting for the world?_   That could take decades.  Meanwhile, they were already on the blocks together—with all the possibilities ahead, ready to dive in—  Rin grinned as he squeezed Haru’s hand.  “The world can catch up.  Let’s go already.”

He only caught a glimpse of glistening eyes before Haru was kissing him, rolling them over—  Rin landed on his back with Haru on top and the corner of the pizza box squished underneath him.  Haru barely let him breathe, one kiss blending into the next until Rin finally had to grunt and pull away.

Breathless, Rin took in the untamed affection in Haru’s gaze—the brightness of Haru’s smile—as warm droplets landed on his face.  “I’ll take that as a yes?” he whispered, arching a brow with the tease, even as the excitement bubbled inside him, barely contained.

“ _Yes_ ,” Haru said, and the kiss that followed said it even louder.

* * *

Wednesday, April 4th, 2012

* * *

_“Program twenty-nine, men’s 200 meter freestyle, final.  In lane one…”_

The cheering—and the thudding of Rin’s heart—was so loud he hardly heard a thing the announcer said.  They were lined up in final call, approaching the glowing doorway one-by-one…  Rin drew a deep breath, tasting the chlorinated air, feeling the anticipation with his entire body. 

Tuesday’s heats and semi-finals had gone well.  Rin’s times were solid, just like Haru’s—as if he never should have doubted they could make a comeback after Haru’s two-year absence and Rin’s much longer departure.  But this was the real test—their first event, first final, first chance at _London_ —

An elbow landed on Rin’s shoulder (again; it had happened quite a few times since Monday).  “Nervous, Matsuoka?”

Rin snorted, shaking his head as he glanced behind him.  “Trying to intimidate the newbie, Kirishima-senpai?”

The guy chuckled, brown eyes glittering behind his goggles.  “Not at all, even if there’s a fair chance my little brother kicks your ass again.”

“ _Aniki_.”  From two spots ahead of them in line, Kirishima Ikuya shot a glare at his brother, hands stuffed in the pockets of his Shimogami University warmups. 

Behind Ikuya and in front of Rin, Haru was his usual serene self, unperturbed by the conversations going on around him.  _Focused on the water, probably._

Rin slipped his hands into his pockets and rocked back on his heels, affecting an easy smile.  “I wouldn’t bet on this going the same way as yesterday.”  It was true that the younger Kirishima had won handily in the second semi-final Tuesday night, which was why Ikuya had top seed in lane four for the final and Rin was in lane six.

Ikuya’s reddish-brown eyes warmed in response, matching the hint of a smile on his lips before he turned away.  His mannerisms weren’t so different from Haru’s really, though he was softer at the core and lacked Haru’s stoic, dispassionate nature.

Rin refused to admit aloud how insanely jealous he’d been when they met two days ago—

_“Haru, you kept your promise!”_

_“I said I’d be back, didn’t I?”_

_Rin’s brow twitched at the warmth and familiarity, at the obvious adoration in Kirishima Ikuya’s gaze.  Sure, they were former teammates and had gone to Rome together, but…_

_His ire only lasted until Ikuya turned to him with the same genuine, unassuming smile.  “Haru always talks about how much you inspire him, Matsuoka-kun.  Can you show me, too?”_

…At which point, Rin had been dumbstruck by what a pure, sweet cinnamon roll the kid was (not that it was fair to think of him as a kid when Rin was only a month older).  Ikuya just happened to be a killer swimmer also, and it was clear to see why Haru—who had no younger siblings—was quite fond of him.

The Kirishima brothers already had their tickets to London—Natsuya in Monday’s 400IM (qualifying alongside Seijuurou) and Ikuya in Tuesday’s 200m breaststroke final.  Rin had three more events after this one—the 100m free and the 100m and 200m butterfly.  But every chance was worth its weight in gold.  Rin hadn’t yet broken into 1:46 in the 200m free (meanwhile Haru’s national record was 1: _45_ and change), but today felt like a good day to try.

That and Coach Mikhail would give him an epic sad face if he came back with anything other than a new personal best.

_“In lane three, Mikoshiba Seijuurou.”_

As Ikuya moved close to the doorway, next in line, Haru turned around.

“Rin—”  Fingers closed around the collar of his warmup jacket with an insistent tug, Haru drawing him in until their foreheads touched—

It was _electric_ , Rin’s heart skipping a beat and racing out of control.  He could count the years—the sum of days, of _hours_ —in Haru’s eyes since they last competed like this, the longing and wild hopes fulfilled.

“Haru…”  The name slipped out with a giddy quiver, followed by a grin Rin couldn’t hold back.

_“In lane four, Kirishima Ikuya.”_

As Natsuya coughed lightly behind them, Haru flicked his eyes skyward—never one to be told what to do.  He let go with obvious reluctance, smoothing Rin’s collar with a spicy look that Rin felt all the way down to his toes.  Rin watched his lover leave…if he wasn’t warmed up before, he certainly was now.

_“In lane five, Nanase Haruka.”_

Then it was Rin’s turn.  As Haru walked out to a loud surge of cheering—Rin could hear his parents, sister, and Nagisa all in that one shout—Rin stepped in front of the glowing screen bearing his name—

_“In lane six, Matsuoka Rin.”_

There were cameras and camera flashes everywhere, Rin deafened by the crowd’s response as he played it cool with a wave and strode out alongside the pool. 

“Rin!  _Rin!!_ ”  His dad was leaning over the rail in the most ridiculous getup yet—bandanas and flags and a _Future Olympian Rin Matsuoka_ T-shirt.  Rin’s mom and sister were with him, alongside Haru’s parents, Sousuke and his parents, all of their Iwatobi friends, a huge contingent from the Coast Guard…and right in front were a handful of kids from Makoto’s swimming classes in Sendai last fall, waving _Go Captain Rin!!_ and _Go Captain Haruka!!_ banners.

Rin almost lost it, seeing them there against the rail.  He waved and grinned and barely kept it together.  _I promise I’ll show you something good—something worth the trip._

_“In lane seven, Kirishima Natsuya.”_

The sound of feminine squealing pierced Rin’s eardrums as Natsuya headed out.  He managed not to roll his eyes as he headed for his lane.

There was a cameraman in black crouched beside lane four, filming Ikuya and Haru as they reached their lanes and started taking off their warmups.  Rin took his place at Haru’s side.  It felt damn good, looking over, seeing Haru next to him, Haru looking back.  Whether they were in the sky or in the water, _this_ was where they belonged.

Rin stripped off his shoes and warmups, tucking everything into the provided bin.  The black jammers—with tendrils of red and gold—were a gift from Haru for Rin’s birthday.  Not the most original present, but Haru had top-tier taste (and connections) in performance swimwear and he’d taken into consideration Rin’s preferences for fit and sizing.  Haru’s jammers matched—with violet instead of the red.

The four-pulse sounded, sending the swimmers to the blocks as fans and supporters shouted from the audience.  Rin doublechecked the seal on his goggles, smoothing a wrinkle from his swim cap.  The stroke and turn judges took their places…  At the long whistle, he climbed up, positioning his feet on the bright yellow block with Haru on his right and Kirishima Natsuya on his left.  The water spread out in front of him—fifty meters of turquoise as smooth as glass, with the electronic board on the opposite wall above a banner for Tokyo’s candidacy for the 2020 Olympics. 

The awestruck feeling hadn’t faded.  He was really doing this—reaching out for the dream he thought he couldn’t ever have.  There were no guarantees about the outcome, but that didn’t matter.  He was striving with both hands, with his whole self; he’d have no regrets.

Sneaking one glance aside, he met Haru’s gaze—the spark in blue eyes.  _All in.  Let’s do it, Haru._   At Haru’s smile, Rin grinned and turned his eyes forward, bending to grasp the block.

The noise of the crowd faded for the briefest moment—

_“Yoi…”_

Rin tensed, holding his breath, ready to fly—

At the signal, he dove, going into streamline and plunging into the water, fingertips first.  Rin dolphin-kicked alongside Haru, coming up to smooth strokes of free.  Natsuya like to go out hot, but Rin refused to be baited, sticking to the profile his coaches had drilled into him, conserving, waiting, feeling the impatience build in his muscles—

_“Anticipation is half the fun, don’t you think?” Coach Mikhail said.  “Wait until your whole body wants it, then go.”_

_Haru’s coach—Azuma Ryuuji—rolled his eyes._

_“Are we still talking about swimming?” Haru asked._

_“Haru!”  Rin’s face flamed as Sousuke flicked a cascade of water over Haru’s head from one lane over._

_“Get your mind out of the gutter, Haru.”_

_Too bad Haru just smiled, letting the water drip through his hair._

_“Hmm.”  Mikhail frowned a little, rubbing his blond goatee thoughtfully.  “Since you brought it up, Nanase-kun, we really should talk about some guidelines—”_

_“I didn’t say anything,” Haru muttered, immediately ducking underwater and starting back across the pool._

(Forty-eight hours—minimum—prior to any event, which meant they hadn’t made love in three _days_ , though that was beside the point right now.)

Rin curled into the first turn at the same time as Haru, his feet finding the wall as he dug in and sprung off.  The five of them—from Seijuurou to Natsuya—were all neck-in-neck, but that changed _now_.  Rin surfaced, breathing to his left, meeting Haru’s gaze—

As one, they amped it up, accelerating to a punishing pace, hands slicing into the water, the meters flying by.  In no time, the wall—the halfway point—was ahead of them.  They pushed off just ahead of the others, starting their sprint for the last hundred meters—

The shouts—the cheering—deafened as they crossed the pool for the final turn.  Natsuya was just off Rin’s left, threatening with each stroke.  Rin’s muscles burned as he pushed through, as they turned and entered their last underwater phase…  Then they were racing all-out, churning up the water, foam flecks flying—  Rin tasted chlorine with each breath as the meters diminished—twenty-five, fifteen, ten— 

Haru surged ahead—no one would doubt why he still had the National Record, three years later.  Rin saw Ikuya, two lanes over, matching him stroke for stroke to the wall—  He slapped tile and popped up to fill his lungs with air, his muscles screaming from the effort, the announcer’s voice drowned out by the cheering.

Stripping off his cap and goggles, Rin went for the line, reaching into lane five, grasping Haru’s hand.  Haru was just as breathless, his face flushed by exertion as they clasped hands tightly and looked at the board—

_“First place and London qualified—Nanase Haruka, one forty-five ninety-eight.  Second place—Kirishima Ikuya, one forty-six, sixty-seven.  Third place—Matsuoka Rin, one forty-six, sixty-eight—”_

“Haru, you did it!”  Rin launched himself over the lane line, tackling his lover with a hug.  The 200m free London qual time was 1:46.59—and it sucked to miss it by a tenth, but _Haru was going to London_ and Rin was so happy he could cry.

“ _Rin_ —”  Haru smiled, clinging to him and shaking, his eyes gleaming with so much emotion that Rin snorted.

“It was that good for you, huh?” Rin asked with a grin.

Haru just shook his head, not saying a word.  He leaned in until their heads were touching, trembling in the circle of Rin’s arms.

“So, looks like you’re stuck with us, Matsuoka.”  Natsuya’s voice came from behind him, just over the lane line.

 _Huh?_   Rin twisted around.

Natsuya had his arms draped over top, water dripping from his curly, brown hair.  He grinned as their gazes met.  “It’s gonna be one hell of a relay.”

Rin’s eyes blew wide.  He looked at the board again—  _1:45.98, 1:46.67, 1:46.68, 1:47.51_ …only Haru made the individual event qual time, but _all four of them_ were well under the 1:48.39 selection time for the 4x200m relay.

Rin stopped breathing, stopped blinking, looking from Natsuya to Ikuya, who was perched on the other lane line, looking tired but pleased and offering a thumbs-up.  _Haru’s not crying because he won.  He’s—  I just—_

 _“Please congratulate the London 2012 men’s eight-hundred meter freestyle relay team—Nanase Haruka, Kirishima Ikuya, Matsuoka Rin, and Kirishima Natsuya.”_  

It was then that Rin heard his father’s voice—from halfway across the natatorium—shouting his name, raw with tears—

 _I’m gonna be an Olympic swimmer._   The realization welled up hot and thick in Rin’s throat; it was useless to hold back the tears as he bit down on his lip, thrusting one fist high to the cheers of his family and friends—

“Rin-nii!”  “Matsuoka!!”  _“Rin!!”_

His composure lasted two seconds, then he was sobbing in Haru’s arms on National TV.

-x-

On the way back to the locker room, their family and friends were waiting in ambush in the hallway, on the opposite side of the glass half-wall. 

“Rin!” 

He was caught immediately, trapped by countless pairs of arms with Matsuoka women crying into his hair.  Rin grinned at his father, at their shared dream realized, at that _ridiculous T-shirt_ —

“You can buy those tickets now, Dad.”

“Already did, Son,” Toraichi said, squeezing Rin’s shoulders and beaming.  He winked.  “A week ago.”

“ _Dad_.”  Rin hugged his father fiercely, the tears threatening again. 

-x-

The women’s 200m free final got underway as they changed in the men’s locker room.  The evening was nearly done, with only the women’s 100m breaststroke and men’s 100m backstroke finals yet to go.  After that, they’d be free to head back to the hotel, have dinner, hang out…get a good night’s rest before tomorrow’s morning heats… 

Rin’s thoughts…went places as he and Haru worked off their jammers side-by-side.  Haru only had the 100m free left to go.  He’d be done by Friday night.  Whereas Rin’s butterfly events—on top of the 100m free—ran all the way until Sunday.  Four more days was nothing compared to a _month_ , and yet…

Rin exhaled through his nose and hastily finished dressing.  Was it his imagination, or was Haru taking a very long time—an excessively long time—to find his clothes?  Rin wet dry lips, his gaze scraping familiar expanses of skin, muscle, and curves…  He eventually met Haru’s eyes and the mischievous streak within as Haru finally pulled on a pair of black boxer briefs.  _This isn’t gonna work, Nanase._

The answering smirk in Haru’s eyes was far from innocent.

-x-

“Don’t slack off tonight.”  Coach Ryuuji eyed them in the hotel lobby—the _APA Hotel Tokyo-Shiomi-Ekimae_ was a short twenty-minute walk from Tatsumi.  “The hundred free’s first thing in the morning and none of you are even close to the relay cutoff time.”

The guy had an odd motivational style.

Beside him, Coach Mikhail sighed.  “Just relax and get some sleep.  That way you’ll be fresh for tomorrow.”

Ryuuji folded his arms.  “Sure, erase everything I just said.”

“How are they supposed to be inspired when you say stuff like that?  Do you want them to be anxious all night?”

“They need to be sharp.”

“Muscles work best when they’re _relaxed_ and supple and—”

“‘Supple?’  Really?”

As the bickering escalated (like it always did), Rin, Haru, and Sousuke glanced at each other and quietly escaped…

“I’m gonna hang out a bit,” Sousuke said, nodding towards the lobby bar where Takara and Seijuurou were waiting.

“We’re gonna turn in early,” Haru said, not even giving Rin a chance to respond.

Heat blossomed at Haru’s words, Rin’s heartrate quickening.  It had been hours since they last kissed, let alone the cold showers they took this morning after waking up in a tangle.  Rin tried to play it cool with a shrug, but with Sousuke’s smile and eyeroll, why did he bother?  They parted with a wave, Rin following Haru to the elevators.

They joined a crowd of competitors and staff from various teams, riding a packed elevator to the fifth floor, passing other swimmers in the hallway on the way to their room…

The place had the same amenities as the hotel in Sugamo, other than the fact that the room was larger and their coaches had arranged for two beds, expecting them to use both.  And they were using both, if displaying Haru’s swimsuit collection so he could decide easier (easier, not faster) counted.

Forty-eight hours made sense for some things, definitely…  They had empirical evidence that going at it hard the night before meant swimming like shit the next day.  Rin considered this in a bit of a haze as they kissed, tugging at each other’s zippers, stumbling towards the bed nearest the window.  But something simple and _un_ complicated…

Rin grunted as his back hit the mattress, Haru climbing on top—

“Let’s be celibate tomorrow,” Haru said, stripping off his T-shirt.

Rin sat up, tossing his own shirt aside.  “We’ll be so fucking celibate tomorrow,” he said, capturing Haru’s lips.

-x-

…They were naked and sticky afterwards, lying together in a boneless pile as they slowly caught their breath.

“Our coaches would be pissed,” Rin murmured, nuzzling the side of Haru’s neck, tasting the sweat and chlorine on Haru’s skin.  Not that he cared and not that he had any intention of informing them.

“It’s different for everybody,” Haru said, his face tucked against Rin’s hair.  “I thought about you plenty in Rome and ended up with a National Record, so...”

“Haru!”  Rin blushed to the tips of his ears.

Haru lifted his head, gazing down at him with soft eyes and a smile that zinged straight to Rin’s heart.  “I’m so happy, Rin.”

Rin grinned, his eyes growing moist for the zillionth time as he hugged his lover close.  _“Me too.”_

* * *

Sunday, April 8th, 2012

* * *

“Nakagawa Mai.  Nanase Haruka.” 

Haru went up to the front of the room when his name was called, accepting the bundle Coach Maekawa handed to him.

Rin waited alongside Sousuke, trying not to quiver as they worked through the H-names.

“Matsuoka Rin.” 

He forced himself to walk, even though his inner grade-schooler was running.  Coach Maekawa smiled as she handed him the package with his name on it, before going back to the box.

“Mikoshiba Isuzu.”

The warmup jacket was navy-blue with white and red shoulders, folded in the clear plastic so that the Japanese flag was front and center with _London 2012_ underneath.

“Mikoshiba Seijuurou.  Mikoshiba Momotarou.”

“Every year there are more Mikoshibas,” Asahi muttered, the redhead (their 4x100m freestyle relay teammate) donning his brand new jacket.  “Last year, it was Isuzu.  And now—”

“Half the team is Mikoshibas and Kirishimas,” Haru said, trading his warmup pants for the London ones (with a swimsuit underneath as always, even though he didn’t have any events today).  The pants were navy blue like the jackets, with red down each side, arcs of white across the knees, and _JAPAN_ written on the right thigh.

“Five out of twenty-seven, Nanase-kun.”  Hiyori zipped up his jacket, the gold zipper gleaming under the overhead lights.  “You might want to check your math.”  Tōno Hiyori—tall, feathery brown hair, wore glasses, also from Shimogami University—qualified in the 200m backstroke, and was maybe still salty about winning the 50m free less than an hour ago, but missing the London selection time by two tenths of a second.  Or the guy had a naturally condescending personality; Rin couldn’t tell.

“The Mikoshibas are loud enough to be half the team,” Ikuya murmured at Hiyori’s side, finger-combing his dark teal hair into place, the strands still wet following the men’s 200IM final, earlier.

 _That’s the truth_.  The Mikoshiba trio were a boisterous, bouncing spectacle on the opposite side of the room, tearing into their packages, clothes flying everywhere. 

“And they’re all in love with Rin’s sister,” Sousuke said, still waiting.

Rin sighed.

“Yamazaki Sousuke.”

Rin jabbed his best friend in the arm, Sousuke shooting him a smile as he went up to the front. 

 _Pinch me, I’m dreaming_.  Except it was all _really_ happening—Rin had two freestyle relays and the 100m fly he’d just qualified for, moments ago.  Sousuke had the 4x100m free and the 200m fly.  Haru had both freestyle relays and the individual 200m free…  The plastic packaging crinkled in Rin’s hands as he gazed at the possibilities.  They were _so_ close to the selection time for the individual 100m free.  _Maybe_ —

“Rin.”  Haru was suddenly standing in front of him, almost nose-to-nose.  “Take off your clothes already.”

Loud whistles surrounded them, Rin’s face filling with heat.

“Zero points for seduction, Nanase-kun,” Ozawa Yumiko, already dressed, elbowed Haru in the side.

Haru didn’t say anything in reply, though his smile was clear enough to Rin, something along the lines of, _I’ll seduce him later._

 _Yes.  Hell yes you will._   Rin cocked a brow in tease and started undressing.

“Two lines, Olympians,” Coach Maekawa said from the front.  “Men on the left, women on the right.  We’re headed out in three minutes and you _must_ be fully clothed.  Mikoshiba siblings, two-thirds of you are _not_ in compliance—”

…By the end of three minutes, they were all (miraculously) suited up and ready when the announcer came on over the PA.

_“The Japanese Swimming Federation is pleased to present the 2012 London Olympic team—”_

Rin raked hair back from his forehead, tugging a little as he inhaled, trying to hold it together as thunderous cheering started.

“Here, Rin.”  Haru pressed a tissue into his hand.

 _Damnit, don’t know me so well._ Rin half-glared at his lover, shoving the tissue into his pocket.

They went out one at a time, each receiving a bouquet from the JASF and forming a long line behind the start blocks of the Tatsumi pool, with a crowd of thousands in the stands.  Rin waved to family and friends, to the Coast Guard members and the kids who had come to support them.  The cheering went on for _minutes_.

But nothing could drown out the voice of the one beside him.  “Ready, Rin?” Haru asked.

“To take on the world?” Rin arched a brow, side-eyeing his fiancé.

Haru nodded, smiling with his eyes.

 _Fuck yeah_.  Rin grinned in reply.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Hand-filmed footage of the Japan Swim 2012 200m free final](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mvYQw4jwfWM) (obviously I changed a few things for this story)
> 
>  
> 
> [London team + Uniforms](http://livedoor.blogimg.jp/tobiuojapan/imgs/d/e/de67ea57.jpg)


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Adult/nsfw content.

* * *

_Friday, July 31 st, 2009 – Rome_

* * *

_The last fifty was a battle, like the whole race had been.  The water felt good, so that wasn’t the problem (it never was).  Haru’s lungs burned as he fought through his competitors’ wakes in lane five, the United States anchor lengths ahead in lane four on his left.  For now, he was ahead of the German swimmer on his right.  Would it be enough?  He couldn’t see the Russian anchor in lane seven anymore, but the Australian swimmer, two lanes to Haru’s left—_

_His teammates were calling his name from behind the block, their voices mixing with the shouts from the stands, blanketing the_ Foro Italico _pool with deafening cheers.  Haru breathed to his left, sighting the lane three competition amidst the flying flecks of water.  He was even with the Australian’s waist._

_(I can do this.)_

_His teammates believed in him, friends and family back home, too.  Pulling out everything he had left, Haru surged forward, sprinting towards the wall—  The United States finished first in lane four.  The Russian swimmer in lane seven took second.  With each stroke, Haru plunged his hands into the water, bubbles raking across his body.  For the final meters, he went breathless.  It was going to be close as he stretched for the timing board, slapped tile—_

_It was on his teammates’ faces—the elation quickly dampened, the forced smiles.  Haru caught bits of the announcer’s voice—the United States had a new 4x200m freestyle World Record, Russia had silver, Australia bronze.  Clinging to the side of the pool, he filled his lungs with air as the cameras crowded around the victors celebrating one lane over._

_“Haru.”  Ikuya’s smile was genuine, if his eyes a bit misty as he leaned down beside the lane five block, offering his hand._

_Haru stripped off his cap and goggles, leaving his disappointment behind as he grasped Ikuya’s hand and climbed out of the pool.  He was immediately enveloped by his teammates—Ikuya and Natsuya especially._

_“You killed it, Haruka.  One forty-four?”  Natsuya grinned at him._

_“We beat this morning’s record.”  Ikuya squeezed him tight.  “Our team’s best time yet.”_

_It was impossible not to smile after that, even as the familiar ache throbbed in his heart.  ‘For the team’—Rin’s voice still came to him, seven years after their elementary school relay and it wasn’t like he hadn’t said it—or lived it—at every regional or national tournament since._

_Warmth welled up in Haru’s eyes as he hugged his teammates in return, joy mingling with the longing inside.  He could only say he was happy, despite the punch of tears, as the cheering of thousands of spectators rained down on them.  He was living his dream after all—swimming on the world’s stage with National Records, Asian Records, and fourth place finishes (in the world) to his name.  What else could he ask for?  Hope for?_

_Haru let it all sink in as they embraced and celebrated together, as he waved for the cameras and got dressed and navigated his way through English and Italian for interviews…  But in the moments between, he still caught himself searching, his gaze lingering in the empty place by his side where Rin should have been._

* * *

Sunday, May 27th, 2012

* * *

“Matsuoka!  Shiina!”  Coach Maekawa leaned out of the open doors, halfway off the bus.  “Onboard now or we’re leaving without you!”

Haru smiled to himself from his perfect vantage point in the back of the coach.  Outside, in the halos of light cast by the street lamps outside of Tatsumi, Rin and Asahi sprinted for the bus in their Team Japan travel attire—blazers, slacks, formal shoes—encumbered by gear bags and luggage.  Damp hair and being short on time hadn’t prevented them from being ostentatious—Rin still wore his _Japan Open_ 100m fly silver medal and Asahi his gold from the 50m free.

The crowds dissipated leisurely at the end of three days of competition, except for their fourteen members of Team Japan (plus coaches and staff) headed straight for Haneda’s International Terminal.  After nearly two months of training camps (and three whole weeks spent on relays alone), they were finally shipping out, leaving Japan for the world beyond.

Haru had been through it before—he’d crossed the ocean to Canberra, Australia, traversed continents to Belgrade and Rome in the summer of 2009 and toured Europe a second time that autumn with the FINA World Cup.  He’d seen astounding sights, swam in countless pools, made friends (and enemies?), competed with the best swimmers of his generation—

—And it all paled to this moment, as Rin and Asahi clamored onto the bus, breathless and laughing, teammates ribbing on their tardiness (Ikuya was in the last race of the evening—the men’s 200m breaststroke—and he’d been on the bus ten minutes already).  Haru perched an elbow on the seatback, one knee braced on the cushion, watching and waiting as Rin flew down the aisle towards him.  His swimming dream never felt _whole_ until now.

Rin tackled him, Haru not bothering to brace.  They went down against the seat in a chlorine-scented tangle, gear bags on top of them and Rin’s medal landing on Haru’s chest.  Rin was grinning as they kissed, his excitement flooding Haru with warmth.  He returned the kiss eagerly, cat calls, applause, and _“Get him, Matsuoka!”_ surrounding them.  The bus lurched as it pulled away from the curb, jostling them against the seats.

Rin broke the kiss, stars shining in his eyes as he drew back.  Haru had no words—it was all locked in his throat, emotion and joy and the endless possibilities brimming in Rin’s gaze.  With one last brush of lips, they unearthed themselves, stowed their bags, managed to get upright and seated.  Rin’s hair was tousled, Haru sifting through the scarlet strands with his fingers, combing flyaways into place.

Rin caught his hand, kissing his palm and not letting go.

Haru exhaled hard.  It was a miracle his heart could handle this much love.

-x-

Check-in, security, and immigration went more or less smoothly. 

Coach Maekawa gathered them in the waiting area for Gate 114.  “Boarding starts in forty-five minutes.  Do not get lost; do not make me come get you.”

Half of the group was paying attention, the other half was creeping towards the nearby bar in _Tokyo Sky Kitchen_.

“—and no more than _one_ drink…”

“Thanks, Coach!” 

Haru found himself caught in the center of the mob, herded towards the bar counter with glasses and bottles glittering on display.

Natsuya, Ozawa, and Takara all ordered hard liquor. 

“Gotta make it count, right?” Ozawa said, winking at Haru and Rin.

Haru shared a glance with Rin and shrugged, taking his turn at the register as he fished out his wallet.  “I’ll have a Gin and Tonic.”

Natsuya’s elbow landed on his shoulder.  “He means a _Rin_ and Tonic.”

Haru pursed his lips, his face heating.

“A what?” Rin asked.

Takara pressed in against the counter, a burgundy Manhattan in hand.  “A proper _Rin and Tonic_ is garnished with a maraschino cherry on one of those little sword things.”

The bartender nodded.  “Kashikomarimashita.”

“How long’s that been going on?” Sousuke asked, squeezing in, next in line.  “I’ll have an Old Fashioned.”

“Since that one time in Germany—”

“No, we were in Sweden.”

“It was definitely Sweden,” Ikuya said.

Haru inhaled through his nose.  “I _said_ Gin.”

“You did not.”  His teammates laughed.

Ikuya smiled.  “There were lots of witnesses.”

“Nn.”  Haru’s face was hot as the bartender placed the highball glass in front of him, garnished with a bright red cherry rather than the usual wedge of lime.  “Thank you.”

Rin eyed the drink, curiosity and amusement dancing in his gaze.  He cocked a brow.

Haru gestured to the cherry on the little plastic sword.  “My heart, Rin.”

As their teammates _Awww_ ’ed and made kissy faces, Rin’s eyes widened—  He gathered himself with a frown/glare. 

“That’s cheesy as hell.”

Haru smiled.  _It’s romantic and you love it._   He lifted the glass in toast.

Rin blushed and turned towards the register.  “I’ll have the same.”

-x-

The Japan Airlines flight departed Tokyo just after midnight, flying through the sunrise over the Pacific to San Francisco.  Nine hours with a two-drink maximum (thanks to Coach Maekawa coordinating with the flight attendants), Haru dozed off and on, his shoulder going numb—not that he dared to complain or even move—as Rin used him for a pillow.

It was late afternoon, early evening as the B777-200 crossed the San Francisco Peninsula and made a descending right turn over the bay towards the airport’s parallel east-west runways.  Where the sun broke through scattered clouds, the calm waters below sparkled serene, with land in the distance, bridges, and acres of undisturbed marshlands meeting the inland sea.  It was a year since the earthquake that changed Haru’s life; he couldn’t look at topography like this and _not_ think of Tohoku, the fury of the ocean etched into his mind and in his sketchbook.

As he sighed, Rin nudged his hand.  Closing his eyes, Haru caught Rin’s fingers and squeezed.  The ache didn’t fade—in some ways, he hoped it never would—but he could breathe at least.

They landed and went through immigration, picking up their luggage in baggage claim.  Haru toted his suitcase through the inspection area, handing the officer his customs form.

“What kind of food do you have?” the officer asked in English.

“I have commercially canned mackerel.”  _In miso, in shoyu, in water…_   They’d had a meal on the flight before landing, but the thought alone made him hungry.

The officer waved him through.  “Enjoy your stay.”

“Thank you,” Haru said, pulling his suitcase towards the exit to rejoin his teammates.

“Haru, your English is so much better all of a sudden.”  Asahi frowned, almost pouting.

Haru retrieved his shades as they headed out into the sunny atrium, tilting his head back to slip them on.  “I’m a Coast Guard Aviator.”

Asahi snorted, rolling his suitcase alongside while Rin grinned, draping his arm across Haru’s shoulders.  Once they were all accounted for (several members of the team notably subdued, hungover, and fatigued), Coach Maekawa herded them outside to another bus.

It was just under an hour in traffic to Santa Clara, the hotel kitty corner to California’s _Great America_ theme park, with red tiled roofs, palm trees, and an IHOP in the parking lot. 

In the lobby, Maekawa passed out room keys, practice schedules, and shooed them away.  “Don’t get into trouble.”

The room Haru and Rin would share was on the third floor, facing the courtyard pool.  They dragged their luggage up the exterior stairway, through the open-air hall to the door with their number on it.  The accommodations were spacious—expansive even—compared to Japanese hotels, with two large beds and rollercoaster-themed artwork.

Takara and Ozawa went by, already chatting about the pool and the bar as Haru closed the door.  He eyed the nearer bed, fingering his collar.  He was tired for sure, _but_ …  They finally had privacy for the first time in hours, _days_ , and no roommate to worry about—

Rin used the bathroom and came out with his belt undone, tossing his blazer on the second bed and stripping off his polo shirt.  “Need the restroom, Nanase?”

The jolt of heat went all the way to Haru’s fingertips and toes, a wavering breath trailing from his lips.  He flicked the locks and closed the blinds.  “I’ll be quick.”

-x-

“I thought you’d be more tired,” Haru murmured between gasps, braced against the headboard as Rin hovered over him, knees denting the mattress, carefully aligning them.

“I _am_ tired,” Rin muttered, Haru forgetting how to breathe as Rin pressed him into the shadow between his thighs, turquoise-hued latex vanishing as Rin sank down, taking him inside—

 _Fuck_ —  Haru shuddered with pleasure, a loud groan slipping free as Rin encased him fully, his fingers digging into Rin’s hips as he fought to maintain some— _any_ —hold on his sanity.  

It was a losing proposition from the start and they both knew it.

Rin’s breaths came in hard puffs, his smile glittering with satisfaction.  “Why do you think I’m being lazy about this?” he asked, rocking forward, taking Haru deeper.

 _Oh God_.  It was hopefully a rhetorical question because Haru couldn’t speak.  He could only breathe (and not that well, really), meeting Rin’s languid movements with slow thrusts.

“But it’s my turn.  You got your fill yesterday.”  Rin looped his arms around Haru’s neck, their moist breaths mingling between them as he dismantled Haru’s self-control with each successive roll of his hips.  “Was it yesterday?  Fuck, what day is it?”

“ _Rin_.”  Haru leaned in, impatient, seeking Rin’s mouth but only getting grazes of those tantalizing lips.  _Tease._

Rin’s smile broadened, his eyes sparkling and thoughts ever so clear.  _You know you like it, Haru._

He did.  He loved it, he loved Rin—as slain now as the first time they kissed, as the first time they swam together.  Haru pushed himself up, one hand on the base of Rin’s spine, holding them together as they slid down to the bed, proper.  Rin yielded to the kiss then, to the sweet melding of their mouths as Haru gave him time to settle comfortably on top.

—Until air became imperative and small movements weren’t enough anymore.  They broke apart, breathless. 

“I’m not that tired, Rin,” Haru murmured.  He bent his knees, bracing his heels against the mattress, running his hands down Rin’s back.

Rin’s breathing changed, thickened with anticipation, his eyes simmering with desire.  “Show me.”

Haru wasted no time, capturing his fiancé’s lips again, wrapping Rin up—

-x-

He drew a bath for them, after, carrying Rin into the steam-filled room when it was ready.  Rin’s face was blissed out and smug—Haru couldn’t help feeling a little proud of himself as they slipped into the water together to wash and unwind.

They were resting, Haru lying in Rin’s arms utterly content, when Rin’s stomach audibly growled.

“It’s probably too late for dinner,” Rin murmured, wet fingers stroking through Haru’s hair.

“The IHOP sign said twenty-four hours…”

Rin chuckled, his throat rumbling against Haru’s nose.  “I could eat pancakes.”

“Do you think they serve pancakes with sa—”

“—No.”

“What if I bring my own—”

“ _No_.”

* * *

Friday, June 1st, 2012

* * *

Asahi stepped up to the lane six block at the four-pulse whistle, making a final adjustment to his goggles and swim cap. 

“Asahi!”  Team Japan cheered from the stands, on the left side of the pool.

Haru tugged on the collar of his warmup jacket, behind the blocks, in the shade cast by blue _Santa Clara Swim Club_ canopies.  He could taste the chlorine mixed with fresh early-evening air, his nerves prickling with anticipation as the breeze rippled across the sunny pool in front of them—nine lanes roped in blue, golden yellow, and white.  Canada was on their right—top seed in lane five, Australia’s B-team on their left in lane seven (Australia’s A-team had lane four).  The team from Hong Kong had lane three, the remaining lanes taken by different US swim clubs, most of them California-based. 

It was day two of the Santa Clara International Invitational—part of USA Swimming’s Grand Prix Series.  The teams for heat one of the 4x100m freestyle relay timed finals were ready to go, and _Rin was next to him_. 

Haru kept his mouth shut, because he wasn’t sure what might come out if he tried to say anything.  They weren’t even to the Olympics yet and his heart was soaring.  Each race with Rin was better than the last—there’d been two today already, the men’s 100m free prelims this morning and the A-Final just past 5PM.  This was the first relay—the first in _years_ —and he was nearly quivering, almost frightened by how badly he wanted this. 

Back in 2009, he told himself over and over that he was fine with Rin’s decision—that Rin needed to be _free_.  That was all still true, but he hadn’t realized how much he’d been holding inside, denying to himself, unknowingly letting the desire accumulate with every race and competition…  No wonder he couldn’t control it now, that his hopes bled through in all sorts of ways.  He’d done everything but plead, and even that was debatable.

The only consolation was that Rin had made the decision himself, for himself, that his wants and dreams were as clear as day. 

It went both ways.  Rin might not have been as vocal about it, but Haru could read the longing in his eyes, ever since they got their separate assignments last October.  Rin didn’t know about the Academy paperwork in Haru’s messenger bag, about the phone calls with advisors and the talk of accelerated class schedules.  Haru wasn’t ready to broach the subject yet—he hadn’t decided.  Maybe it wasn’t fair for Rin to be unaware of his consideration, but giving hope without a promise felt equally cruel.  When the time was right, Haru would bring it up.

The long whistle sounded, the crowd going silent, nine swimmers bending for the blocks.

“ _Take your marks_.”

At the signal, Asahi dove—clean off the block—and submerged.  The stands came alive again, clubs cheering on their teammates.  Next in line, Sousuke stripped off his warmups into the provided bin, getting ready.

“Haru.”  Rin shook him gently by both shoulders, grinning at him.  “Even quieter than usual.  You with me?”

Haru lifted his gaze to Rin’s.  “I’m with you.”  The words came out low and intense, rippling down his spine, running hot through his nerves. 

Rin’s eyes widened behind his goggles, his lips forming an O-shape.  He recovered with a blink.  “Damnit, Haru.”  With a snort, Rin maneuvered him in front, though he didn’t let go.  “Get up there before I do something embarrassing in front of all these cameras.”

Haru arched a brow, glancing back over his shoulder.  “And you think being behind me is going to help?”

Rin’s smile turned sly.  “ _Swim for me_ , Haru.  I’ll be waiting.”

Haru let out a long, slow breath—

“You two, I swear.”  Sousuke rolled his eyes, climbing onto the block as Asahi came in for the exchange.

The Australian in lane four touched first by a smidge; Sousuke dove second.

“Sousuke!!”

Haru headed for the block.  “Asahi.”  He offered his hand, his teammate climbing out with bright eyes and a grin.

“Beat that split, Haru.”  Asahi tugged off his goggles and swim cap.

Haru smiled.  _I’m feeling a forty-nine._   He stripped down to his jammers, dried and reset the block—

Sousuke and the lane four Australian were neck-in-neck going to the turn, with Hong Kong and the Australian-B swimmer right behind.  But during the back fifty, Sousuke took the lead, charging towards the wall—

Haru stepped up and set his feet.  Leaning in, he focused on Sousuke’s free, timing and gauging, feeling Rin’s proximity—

As soon as Sousuke touched, Haru dove.

“Haru!!”  Rin’s voice followed him to the water, as he plunged underneath into the cool liquid embrace.

Haru sprinted the first length of the pool just for the pleasure of coming back again, without a care for the Australian pacing him two lanes over.  He curled into the turn and shoved off hard—to Rin on the block, waiting for him.

The meters flew by, fifty to zero in what felt like seconds—a handful of breaths before he was in Rin’s shadow, with tile against his palm and Rin arcing over him in streamline.

Haru gripped the edge of the wall.  “Rin!!”

Rin took off down the lane, Haru pulling off his cap and goggles, slowly catching his breath…

“Haru!”  Asahi offered his hand, violet eyes wide.  “I’ve never seen you swim like that.”

 _You haven’t seen anything yet._   He accepted his teammate’s help, climbing from the pool.  _That was just the beginning._

Haru didn’t bother to dry off, turning back to the race—

According to the board, the Australian swimmer had touched five hundredths before him, but Rin shot into the lead quickly, head and shoulders ahead of the competition.  He was first to the opposite end of the pool, curling underneath the glossy water, racing back towards the finish—

“Rin!”  “Matsuoka!!”  Their teammates were on their feet, shouting from the stands—

There was pressure from lane four, but Rin never lost the lead.  With twenty-five meters to go, it was clear no one could touch him, the announcer already calling it for Japan seconds before Rin slapped the wall in first place.

_Rin—_

Times and medals didn’t matter.  A hot lump formed in Haru’s throat as he leaned over the block, reaching down for his fiancé.  Rin was looking _at him_ , not at the board, not at the other swimmers, his bright, breathless smile making Haru’s vision blur.  Their hands locked, and a second later Rin was in his arms, chest heaving, muscles warm. 

Asahi and Sousuke joined the hug, Haru deafened by the cheering.  Chlorinated droplets caught on his lips as he trembled, face pressed to Rin’s neck, unable and unwilling to move.  He was crying again and he _never cried_ (at least not this much), but he couldn’t help it, just like at Tatsumi when he realized they’d both made London.

 _Do you know how much I missed this?  How much I missed you?_   Ever since their sixth-grade relay—the one Rin badgered him into—he’d yearned for another.  –To feel that feeling again, to see that sight…  It was just as good now—better even.  Because this race, on the way to their Olympic dream, was the first of many.

It wasn’t until he felt Rin’s hitched breathing that he realized he wasn’t the only one crying.  They separated just enough for their eyes to meet, still in the embrace of their teammates.  Rin’s face was a mess, too.

In unison, they laughed amidst their tears, smiling at each other and leaning in until their foreheads touched.

And Haru knew Rin felt his heart, just the same as he felt Rin’s.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [2012 Santa Clara International - Men's 4x100m Freestyle relay](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YVrcBlGkL9Y)


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mild adult/nsfw content.

* * *

_The trio standing with Coach Maekawa—one woman and two men—wore street clothes and USCG caps._

_“We heard there were Coasties on the team.”  The woman had sun-streaked brown hair pulled into a ponytail and warm brown eyes twinkling with challenge.  “Care to show us what you’ve got?”_

* * *

Sunday, June 3rd, 2012

* * *

Rin held his cue stick with a light hand as he waited—he wouldn’t need it anytime soon, not with how damn long it took Haru to decide on a shot.  The view wasn’t bad, though.  Honestly, he could watch Haru bend over a pool table all day long and that wasn’t just the beer talking.

“Maybe today, Haruka?”  Lieutenant (Junior Grade) Victoria Ramirez was less patient, already halfway through her first pint.

“I am fast when I want to be,” Haru murmured in English, lining up cue and cue ball towards the burgundy-striped ‘15.’  “Ask Rin.”

Rin snorted as the lieutenant’s gaze shifted his way.  “You’ll give people the wrong idea, Haru.”

Haru cocked a brow, eyeing him askance.  “About swimming?”

 _Ah, hell_.  Luckily, Rin’s face was red from drinking already.  He cleared his throat.  “I have no complaints.”

The players laughed and Haru finally took the shot.  The cue ball struck the 15-ball on the oblique, sending it rolling into the side pocket…which meant they’d all get to wait through another round of Haru scrutinizing the table with an intense look of concentration on his face.

The pair of USCG ensigns—David, taller with dark hair, and Noah with dusty blond hair, perfectly combed—groaned and went back to their beers.

It was the third game in as many days ( _and we should probably stop giving Haru the cue stick_ ), though with the Santa Clara Invitational done as of a few hours ago, Team Japan could finally get in on the drinking.

_“Matsuoka, I’m counting on you to keep the others in line,” Coach Maekawa said as they were heading out._

_Rin glanced at Haru, Takara, and especially Natsuya—all of them older than him, Team Japan veterans…  “Yes, ma’am.”  What could possibly go wrong?_

“Alright, let’s finally hear the story.  How did you two meet?” Victoria asked.

Rin grabbed his beer for a sip, leaning against the wall as he prepared to launch in—

“We swam together when we were kids,” Haru said, lining up his next shot.  “Two different schools, until Rin joined my elementary school and my swim club and followed me around until I agreed to swim the relay.”

Rin coughed.  “Oi!”  He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.  “That’s not how—”

“That’s exactly how it happened,” Sousuke said, taking another swig from his beer.  “Love at first swim.”

 _Ugh_.  Rin’s face _blazed_ and cold beer wasn’t enough to put out the flames.

“Oh, that’s so cute!”

Haru took his shot, the blue striped 10-ball ricocheting off the side near the corner pocket and rolling to a stop on green felt.

“I’m up!”  Noah set his beer aside, diving for the table.

Haru came over, taking the beer glass out of Rin’s hand.  “It was for me, too.  But it was the relay that really did it.  Before that, I thought you were cute but a little annoying.”  He drank deeply from Rin’s glass.

“Haru…”  Rin pressed his lips, gazing at the one he loved—at soft blue eyes, the happiness on Haru’s face, the rosy blush in Haru’s cheeks.  He didn’t mean to look at Haru’s mouth, but—

Haru smiled and leaned in, the chaste brush of lips enough to send Rin’s stomach into freefall.  Hell, he was so damn smitten, fooling absolutely no one.

“We’ve been engaged almost two years,” Haru said, not breaking Rin’s gaze.  “We’re getting married soon.”

“Oh, in Japan, is it—?”

“It’s not, but we’re still going to do something.”  His eyes sparkled with love and with their promise.

Rin smiled, wrapping his slightly tipsy, suddenly talkative fiancé into a hug.

“It was legal here for a while,” David said, as Noah took aim at the orange 5-ball.  “Only for a few months, though.”

“Mm.”  Victoria nodded.  “Four years ago.  Until Prop 8, but we’re working on that bullshit.”  Exhaling, she took another long drink from her beer.  “It’s a shame you guys can’t stay.  It’ll be a hell of a party with the parade end of this month.”

“We have them in Tokyo, too,” Haru said, pulling away only to reach for Rin’s hand.  “There was one end of April, another coming up in August.  But I wish we could be here too.”

Rin squeezed his lover’s hand.  Being in a place where the battle was ongoing gave them hope—that what they had in grassroots and controversy _could_ someday become legislature and reality.  Haru smiled back at him.

The ensign missed his shot.  “Damnit.”

“Drink,” David and Victoria said in unison.

Just then, the music changed, followed by some horribly butchered English.  _“I’ve got a feeling—that tonight’s gonna be a good night—”_

Sousuke returned his cue stick to the rack.  “I promised Takara I’d join her for karaoke.”

Rin tugged on one ear.  “Can you wrestle the mic away from her?”

“Ooh, are we calling it for karaoke?” Victoria asked.  “It’s a tie anyways.”

Asahi chose that moment to pop into the room with a fresh pitcher of beer.  “Anyone need a refill?” he asked in accented English.  “Um, Lieutenant?”

“Please!”

Asahi blushed and grinned, looking way too happy to be of service.

“Mn, I suppose we’d better check on the others…” Rin murmured.

Haru nodded.

They filtered into the main bar area with its leather booths and bar seats—fully taken over by Team Japan members wearing their medals from Sunday’s events.  Rin and Haru had their medley golds in their pockets, so they couldn’t exactly judge.

Like usual, Natsuya found them before they found anyone, arms crashing down on both of their shoulders.  “Hey, there you are!”

The little karaoke stage took up one corner of the room, flanked by fake sakura trees lit up with glowing blue and pink blossoms and screens displaying the lyrics.  As Ozawa and Sousuke joined Takara at the mic, the English singing _dramatically_ improved. 

Natsuya steered them over to a table covered with beer glasses and empty pitchers, where Ikuya sipped from a half-full beer glass and Hiyori looked like he’d barely touched the pint in front of him (the guy didn’t really care to drink, from what Rin had seen).

The USCG ensigns went to mingle with other members of Team Japan while Asahi slipped onto a barstool next to the lieutenant, hanging on every word she said.

Sure, there was plenty of drinking going on, but nothing was out of hand.  And they’d all get taxies at the end of the night anyways.  What was Maekawa worried about?

Rin and Haru pulled up chairs with their medley relay teammates (their _current_ medley teammates, given that their Team Japan-senpai Hamada, Ikehara, and Sugiyama weren’t present). 

Natsuya topped off Rin’s beer and found a clean glass for Haru.  “So, Haruka, are you treating us to more Lady Gaga tonight?”

Ikuya choked on his drink, nearly spraying all of them.  As he coughed, Hiyori thumped his back, shooting a look of mild disapproval towards Haru.

Rin arched a brow.

Unfazed, Haru sipped from his beer.  “Not outside the Village.”

 _That_ piqued Rin’s curiosity and jealousy hard.  He eyed his lover and the mild, innocent-as-a-lamb expression on Haru’s face that was _oh so far_ from the truth. 

Haru refused to meet his gaze.

The song ended and Natsuya popped up.  “Our turn, Ikuya.”

“Huh?”  Ikuya wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

At the edge of the stage, Takara relinquished the microphone.  Natsuya grabbed it with flourish, gesturing towards the sound tech with a wink.  “Ikuya!  Get up here!”

As the intro played—piano?—Ikuya groaned and slid off his barstool, heading to the stage.  “Just because _you_ were born in the eighties…”

Rin shared a glance with Haru, who merely shrugged.

Ikuya joined his brother in the blue/pink lights from the fake trees, swiping the mic with a glare, but his demeanor _transformed_ as he faced the audience.  With warm ruby eyes and a rosy blush in his cheeks, he tucked teal strands behind his ear and drew a breath—  “ _Just a small-town girl_ —”

The entire room erupted in squeals, joining in to sing along— 

_“—Living in a lonely world.  She took the midnight train going anywhere…”_

Natsuya draped an arm over Ikuya’s shoulder, grabbing the mic in his brother’s hand.  _“Just a city boy…  Born and raised in South Detroit—”_

They were damn good singers, bringing down the house with their flawless American English, Natsuya’s baritone mixing with Ikuya’s rich tenor.  Clearly, they’d done this before, and the smile on Ikuya’s face belied his earlier complaints.

Rin took another drink from his beer and scooted closer to Haru.  Leaning in, under the cover of the song, he murmured into his lover’s ear.  “Is there video?”

Haru pursed his lips and did not answer, leaving Rin to wonder just how much of the pink in his cheeks was from the alcohol, versus…

Rin fought a grin.  “Of all the things you sent me while we were separated…”

Haru’s eyes flicked to him aside.  “It would’ve been too soon.”

 _Too soon?!_   He couldn’t stop the smile this time—sly and lethal.  _Just what kind of racy karaoke are you doing without me, Haru?_   But it was true that, back then, they’d only ever kissed…  Rin lowered his voice.  “How about now?”

Haru turned toward him, their faces close, shoulders brushing.  His gaze fell to Rin’s lips before meeting his eyes again—piercing blue with a spark that took Rin’s breath away.  “You think I have moves I haven’t shown you, Rin?” Haru asked, lifting a brow.

 _You are so lucky we’re not alone right now._   Rin wet his lips, conceding nothing as he exhaled.  “I think,” he murmured, slipping his arm around Haru’s shoulders, drawing Haru in—  “I’ll always leave room to be surprised by you, Nanase Haruka.”  _For the rest of our lives._

Haru’s face warmed with pleasure—with joy that sent Rin’s heart sky-high.  He couldn’t help smiling back like a lovestruck idiot, pressing his face into his fiancé’s hair and kissing the silky raven strands, the scent of chlorine ever-present.  Haru tucked in against him, sighing with a contentment Rin could feel.

As the song went on, they stayed just like that, only moving enough to clink their glasses together and drink. 

_Here’s to a decade, Haru, and so many more to come._

* * *

Monday, June 4th, 2012

* * *

Rin woke with his cheek smashed against a pillow.  A vocals-off version of _Eye of the Tiger_ was playing somewhere nearby, which was odd, because the last thing he remembered clearly was getting dragged on stage by Asahi—

_“Matsuoka!  Sing something in English with me!”_

_“So you can impress the Lieutenant?”_

The guy wanted to sing _You’ve lost that loving feeling_ , but that was Not Okay.  _Wrong branch of the military, Asahi, and way too fucking cliché_.  They settled on P!nk’s _Get the Party Started_ , which had the room off their asses and onto the dancefloor.

Everything after that got a little fuzzy—a blur of Haru in his arms, too many clothes, and beers getting magically refilled out of nowhere…

The tinny music was still going, on loop, and—  _Ah, fuck_.  Rin managed to free one arm, encumbered by limbs that had better belong to Haru as he flailed towards the nightstand and groped for his phone.  His mouth tasted awful and his head throbbed, but he had clothes on and the hotel room looked familiar, so—

Finally, he found the buzzing phone and reeled it in, answering the call with a swipe.  “Dad?”  His voice came out in a croak.  “What time is it there?”  It was morning (presumably) and Japan was sixteen hours ahead—

 _“Son.”_   It was _Officer Matsuoka_ calling and Rin snapped upright so fast, he almost sent Haru tumbling to the floor. 

“Sir.”

_“Are Haruka and Sousuke with you?”_

“Uh—” 

Haru was lying beside him (both of them on top of the covers) in a T-shirt and no _pants_ …but he had square legs on, so wasn’t indecent.  Sousuke was passed out on his stomach on the second bed and Rin didn’t have an answer for why he was _here_ and not in the room he shared with Asahi, but—

“Haru and Sousuke are here.”

 _“Good,”_ his father said.  _“Put me on speaker so_ all three of you _can explain why you’re in a YouTube video with the US Coast Guard singing Kool & the Gang and the Village People.”_

Rin pressed his lips and tried not to laugh.

Haru sat up, rubbing his head.  “Are we in trouble?”

 _So much trouble._   Rin grinned, flinging a pillow onto the other bed. 

Sousuke grunted, glaring back as he gradually woke up.

Rin cleared his throat.  “Sir, I believe it’s spelled out in the regs.  If they play YMCA, you have to—”

_“Are you talking back to me, Cadet?”_

Laughing silently, Rin flopped down and hit the speaker button, setting the phone on the nightstand between the beds.  “I’ve got you on speaker now, Dad.”

 _“Great!”_ Toraichi’s sarcasm bled through the phone. _“I’m waiting for an explanation, Gentlemen.  I got a call from an angry XO who spilled coffee on himself and I owe him an answer, so—”_

Haru snorted, covering his mouth as he fought to stay quiet, but the amusement danced in his eyes.  Rin bit his lower lip, almost quivering as he tried not to bust up completely.

“Sir.”  Sousuke sat up on the second bed.  “It was a cultural exchange and a display of Coast Guard solidarity.  The Lieutenant and Ensigns took us on a tour of Coast Guard Island at Alameda the other day; we had to do something to return the favor.  There was no underage drinking and everyone had their clothes on.”

 _Holy shit, I can’t believe you just said all of that with a straight face._   Rin stuck his tongue out at his best friend.

Sousuke winked back.

Rin’s dad was quiet for a handful of seconds…

_“—Alright.  I think I can spin that.”_

Rin howled, chucking another pillow across the room.  “You—”

“What?”  Sousuke blocked the projectile.  “I’m not wrong.”

“No, I just can’t believe we got an XO that mad singing Oldies—”

_“Oldies!  Son, I will have you know that 1978 was an excellent year and not at all long ago—”_

“Thirty-four years, Dad?”

There was another lengthy pause.

_“Oh, hell.  I’m old.”_

They laughed so hard Rin’s sides were splitting, tears leaking from his eyes.

-x-

Rin pressed the phone to his ear as Haru hopped up to use the restroom and Sousuke snagged a water bottle from the mini-fridge.  “For real, Dad, you think…?”

His father chuckled.  _“I think I got the call because of that one time on ship—”_

“Uh-huh.”  Rin grinned.  He’d heard the stories at the Academy, though his dad was mum on the details—something about beer, karaoke, and a bunch of cadets in their skivvies.

_“Don’t worry, Son.  I’ll handle things here.  You guys have a good time.  You’re headed to Vancouver today?”_

“Yup.  This afternoon.”  Hopefully his hangover would be gone by then…

Toraichi’s voice was full of warmth.  _“Safe flight and have fun.  Give my best to Haruka.  Love you, Rin.”_

“Love you too, Dad.”

_“See you in a few weeks.”_

“Yeah.”  Rin hung up as Haru climbed into the bed, wiggling his way under the covers.  He arched a brow.  “Going back to bed?”

“Snuggles,” Haru said, fixing him with a demanding look.

Rin snorted, slipping under the blankets in his clothes.

Setting his water bottle on the nightstand, Sousuke reclined against the headboard of the second bed with his phone.  “I’ll be out of your hair just as soon as…”

“I don’t remember why you’re here,” Rin said.

Sousuke glanced at him like, _Really?_   “Because Asahi—”

Running footsteps in the hall outside preceded the familiar redhead—fully clothed and waving through the open blinds.  “Hey, you guys!”

“Speaking of…” Rin muttered as Sousuke got up and opened the door.

Asahi _floated_ into the room, dreamy-eyed.  “We talked _all night_.  She gave me her phone number.”  He flopped down on the bed Sousuke had vacated.  “I’m _in love_.”

“I gave up my bed for that?”  Sousuke climbed onto the mattress, whacking Asahi with one of the pillows.  “You could’ve done that anywhere!”

“Oi!”  Asahi sat up, grabbing another pillow and taking a swing.  “ _You’re_ the one who insisted on leaving.”

“Because I’m a great roommate!”

“Oh, I’m not sure I’d go _that_ far.  On Tuesday—”  _Thud._   Asahi went down mid-sentence, Sousuke kneeling over him.

“Did you even kiss her?”

Asahi shoved the pillow in Sousuke’s face.  “We just met!”

…As the tussle continued, Rin settled in on his side, perched on an elbow to watch the show. 

Haru cuddled up to him and got comfortable, arms folded on Rin’s hip, chin resting on top.  “Too bad we don’t have popcorn.”

Rin smiled.  “Yep.”

-x-

They were a ragged bunch in the lobby at Maekawa’s designated check-out time.  Everyone was accounted for, at least, but half the group was barely upright and most wore shades.

Coach Maekawa scrubbed a hand over her face and sighed.  “Just get on the bus.”

Their flight was delayed leaving San Francisco, which gave them time to see Takara, Sousuke, and a couple of the others to their departing flights.  Takara and Seijuurou would be competing in the Olympic 10k OWS qualifier in Portugal in a week; from there, several members of the team were set to swim in the _Sette Colli_ in Rome.  Rin couldn’t deny a twinge of jealousy— _Sousuke_ getting to swim in the pool where Haru swam without him three years ago—but it was only that.  By the second week of July, they’d all be together again for a training camp in Tenerife of the Canary Islands (where Haru would undoubtedly consume his bodyweight in fresh Atlantic mackerel) before heading to London.

But for now, there was no place Rin wanted to be except by Haru’s side as they disembarked in Vancouver on a temperate, overcast afternoon.  Their training camp home for the next ten days was the University of British Columbia campus on the western edge of Vancouver, specifically the UBC Aquatic Centre with indoor and outdoor 50m pools.  They’d be staying on campus as well; their accommodations were in the Walter Gage dormitory towers—a six-person suite with small, twin-bed private rooms, a common bathroom, kitchen, seating area, and water views.  Rin and Haru hadn’t unpacked a thing—they’d only really had time to figure out which dorm furniture was bolted down and what wasn’t—when Natsuya appeared in their bedroom doorway.

“There’s too much daylight left to waste it here.”  Natsuya wore a T-shirt and boardshorts, with sunglasses on the top of his head and a towel slung over his shoulder.  “Let’s hit the beach!”

Rin leaned against the movable desk, next to the dresser and across from the twin-sized bed in the narrow bedroom.  He let Haru decide, like he always did when the ocean was involved.

Haru was quiet for a moment, his back to the view out the window as he stood beside the bed.  “Okay,” he said eventually.

-x-

Trail 6 sloped down from the UBC campus to the beach in concrete and wooden steps, surrounded by towering evergreens and forest foliage.  The way down wasn’t so bad, but the climb back was sure to be murder on their calves.  Finally at the base of the trail, there was sand and driftwood to the water’s edge, Wreck Beach running endlessly to the north and south, as far as Rin could see. 

He just wasn’t expecting quite so much nudity.

The place wasn’t crowded—not compared to beaches in Tokyo during the summer, but there were plenty of people hanging out, playing volleyball, running through the surf, jamming with music…  Lots of people had clothes on—it wasn’t sunny or hot by any means—but there were also a fair number of bathers going natural.

“Uhh.”  Asahi instantly turned redder than his hair.

“The sign said, _‘Clothing Optional Beach,’_ ” Ikuya murmured.

“I didn’t read the sign!”

“Clearly.”  Hiyori folded his arms.

“Well, when in Rome—”  Natsuya stripped down to nothing in about three seconds, rivaling the fastest undressing Rin or Haru could boast.

Ikuya sighed loudly.  “Aniki…”

“Come on, let’s check out the water.”  Natsuya jogged a few steps and turned back, tan lines (and everything else) on full display as he motioned to them.  “Haruka, you coming?  You always said you wanted to swim in nothing.  Feel the water better.”

Rin glanced over.  _You probably did say that._  

Haru pressed his lips, a troubled look furrowing his brow.  At length, he exhaled.  “You guys go ahead.”

“Matsuoka?”

Rin shook his head.  “Thanks.”

Ikuya pulled Asahi along (the latter still blushing like mad).  Hiyori followed them after collecting Natsuya’s discarded clothing.

That left Rin and Haru to themselves, to the sea-breezes rippling across their T-shirts and the sound of the waves mixing with voices and laughter.

“Wanna sit somewhere?” Rin asked, glancing down the beach.  There were a few sunbreaks here and there, certain areas more crowded than others.

“You can go with them, Rin,” Haru said quietly, the emotions warring in blue eyes. 

It was a look he’d seen before, Haru not wanting to hold him back or drag him down.  _And yet_ …

“Nah,” Rin murmured, draping his arm across his lover’s shoulders.  “Like I’m letting you sneak off and get naked without me.”

Haru’s eyes softened in relief.

They found a spot that was a little more private, spreading their towel on the sand and leaning up against a large chunk of driftwood with their legs stretched out in front of them.  The tide was coming in, water lapping at the shore.  In the distance, Vancouver Island lay on the horizon in rolling hills, sunlight filtering through the clouds to make the sea sparkle.  Their surroundings were idyllic, peaceful—salty air and no one too near to bother them. 

Everyone else might be oblivious to the turbulence of Haru’s thoughts, but Rin knew.  Haru wasn’t tense, but his eyes held too many emotions to parse, his gaze fixed on the water as he held a silent conversation with the sea.  Rin wasn’t here to eavesdrop or interject, there was nothing he could say or do to magically make things better, to speed up the heart-work that only Haru could do; he was here so Haru would know he wasn’t alone.

The USCG officers had asked about Tohoku.  Touring the USCG Cutter _Bertholf_ docked at Coast Guard Island, they’d told their stories on the foredeck, leaning against the starboard-side railing on a sunny Saturday afternoon.  It was OK to talk about what happened—sometimes they needed to.  Haru had been as vocal as him and Sousuke.  The USCG members listened, asked thoughtful questions; it helped to speak with others who _understood_.

Being the best of the best—making the SRT—didn’t necessarily mean Rin could save more lives.  It occurred to him to wonder, over the last few months, how much of his drive in that direction was merely transference—having given up his chance to compete in swimming, he still needed to prove himself somewhere.  The last sixteen months had shown him how petty that was, forcing him to take a long, hard look at all the words he’d been spouting for years about why he wanted to join the Coast Guard, to sort out what really lay underneath.

He wanted to help people like the Coast Guard helped his dad—it was that uncomplicated and the distinction or honor of being in the SRT didn’t add a thing.  Haru still didn’t want him to give it up, but looking at it honestly, looking at _himself_ honestly, it wasn’t the same as denying himself the chance to swim with Haru.  There was no bitterness or jealousy, no sense of irreparable loss at the prospect of choosing something else.  In that sense, he was finally growing up—his decisions and dreams with him—no longer pretending to have arrived.

Because some things were more important than all the prestige, medals, and renown in the world.

Beside him, Haru drew a deeper breath.  He dipped his head, his eyes closed as he let out a shuddering sigh and leaned over, resting his cheek against Rin’s shoulder.

Rin was there, wrapping Haru up, holding him close.  Sea-salt spray washed over them as they sat together, swaying a little and watching the waves.

-x-

The sun was dipping towards the horizon, bathing the beach and clouds in blushing pink, violet, and red-gold hues, when Haru finally moved.  Rin took the opportunity to stretch, to work feeling back into stiff limbs from sitting in one position for too long. 

He arched a brow at Haru’s T-shirt hitting the sand.  Glancing over as Haru stood up, Rin found his lover working on his shorts…

“Haru…?”

Haru shucked off his shorts _and_ his underwear.  “Watch the sunset with me.”

Rin paused for a moment in consideration, but there wasn’t much to think about really—why _watching_ the sunset entailed being nude was yet another of those unfathomable Nanase Haruka mysteries.  He looked around as he got up (just to ensure everyone was minding their own business, which they were) and stripped quickly with heat in his face.

Haru folded their towel, arranging it on top of the driftwood log for them, and they sat shoulder-to-shoulder, holding hands, as naked as the day they were born except for their engagement rings.

For all of Rin’s self-proclaimed maturity, being this…well… _free_ made him giddy inside.  The feeling only grew as the sun slipped lower and the temperature dropped.

“It’s…a bit cold for this,” Rin said, laughing at how ridiculous they were.  He shamelessly rubbed his thigh against Haru’s, seeking warmth from the contact.

Haru’s gaze flicked to his lap, an apt measure of how cold he really was, though his lover’s scrutiny had a certain heating effect that didn’t work in his favor (or _did_ , depending on one’s perspective).  Mirth danced in Haru’s eyes as he lifted them.  “Just a little more, Rin,” he said, once again using Rin’s shoulder for a pillow.

Rin smiled, resting his head against Haru’s.  “Ah.”

* * *

Tuesday, June 5th, 2012

* * *

“Alright, Matsuoka, Shiina—”  Maekawa _finally_ put away her stopwatch.  “Cool down and let’s call it a day.”

 _Thank God_.  They high-fived over the lane line, Rin ducking underwater and pushing off into a languid 200 meters of free.  Not that he was going to complain about private butterfly coaching from an Olympic medalist, but he’d been worn out from relay practice already, so he was exhausted _and_ famished now. 

And he needed to get back to the dorms before Haru decided that canned mackerel was dinner.

Rin took a two-minute shower in the UBC locker room—mostly to warm up after the outdoor pool—and dressed quickly.  Their dorm was a stone’s throw away from the Aquatic Centre, Rin and Asahi jogging past manicured lawns on the tree-lined sidewalk until they got to the entrance.

Music sounded from Asahi’s pocket—a P!nk ringtone he used for one person only—and he stopped short of the door, fishing his phone from his warmup jacket.  “I’d better take this,” he said, flashing Rin a grin, blushing as he turned away and answered the phone in his best English.  “Victoria, hello!  Ah, ha ha…”  Asahi rubbed the back of his neck.  “I was just thinking about you.”

The guy was trying so hard, practicing his English whenever he could just for these phone calls.  Rin smiled as he headed inside with his gear bag and hit the up button at the elevator. 

A minute later, he got off on their floor, crossing the hallway and unlocking their door.  There were only two pairs of shoes in the entryway—Haru’s and Ikuya’s, which probably meant Natsuya had gone off to dinner already and Hiyori got dragged along.  Rin toed off his sneakers next to Haru’s, passing the bathroom on the way to their room.  He expected to find Haru sketching, probably with an empty saba can within reach—

“That’s really what it says?”  Haru’s voice came from the common area instead, notably heightened, which made Rin pause, not breathing.

“Yes,” Ikuya said, calm as always.  “Like you need me to translate, Haru.”

“This is something I can’t get wrong.”

Rin didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but his feet seemed to have other ideas, carrying him in the direction of the common area.  He rounded the wall by the kitchen, seeing Haru and Ikuya on the couch with their backs to him, backlit in the glow from Haru’s laptop.

Haru drew a deep, thick breath and Rin froze in place, catching a glimpse of the emotion on his lover’s face—

“Ikuya, thank you.”  The laptop slid onto the couch as Haru suddenly hugged his teammate.  Rin felt it in his gut, even though it was only a simple hug like any siblings would share. 

Ikuya sucked air in surprise.  “Haru…”  He was still for a moment, then he blushed, pleasure lighting in his eyes and cheeks as he dipped his head.  “You’re welcome,” he said quietly.

Rin silently withdrew down the hall, opening the door to their bedroom and soundlessly slipping inside.  The closet was on the left with Haru’s towel and practice suit hanging to dry.  Their suitcases were against the wall on the right.  They’d moved the desk and dresser into the unused bedroom next door so they could roll in a second narrow twin bed, giving themselves extra space to stretch out, to sleep, for other things…

Rin left his gear bag on the floor and flopped down onto the bed in his warmups.  _You idiot, Matsuoka_.  He stared at the white ceiling, sighing at himself.  Bad enough to eavesdrop like that, but then to just _leave_ …  He should’ve spoken up, or even just walked _louder_.  Guilt gnawed at his conscience, though the jealousy—that had him acting like a child—was stronger.

It was stupid.  He knew how Haru felt about him—the proof gleamed on his finger; Haru’s scent on the sheets underneath him spoke volumes as well.  So the hot coil of jealousy in his gut was hardly warranted, but he couldn’t snap his fingers and turn it off, either.  Because _Rome_ , because karaoke, because there were so few people Haru was that open and vulnerable with.

Rin closed his eyes, taking a few deep breaths.  He trusted Haru completely—no matter what.  He _wanted_ Haru to have good friends, close friends like Makoto with whom he could share his heart.  There was so much of life he wanted his fiancé to have.

It took a couple of minutes, but as he thought _about Haru_ , the knot loosened and dissipated.  Rin rolled onto his stomach, shoving his face into the nearest pillow.  Where was Sousuke when he needed a good kick in the ass?

_Suck it up and grow up, Rin._

The memory was almost good enough, Rin’s self-deprecating chuckle muffled by fabric.

“Rin?”

He rolled upright, scrubbing his face to get it the fuck together as Haru came into the room.

“When did you get back?”  Haru set his closed laptop on a nearby shelf, plugging it in to charge.

“Not that long ago,” Rin said, swinging his feet over the side of the bed.  Haru’s face looked like he’d just washed it, though there was still some remnant of earlier in his eyes, something startled or agitated, or both…  “You okay?”

Haru pressed his lips as if he definitely _was not_ , but he didn’t say a word.

“Haru—”  Rin never got the second question out, his back hitting the mattress as Haru tackled him to the bed, his breath stolen by Haru’s lips. 

The kiss was anything but gentle; it was firm, urgent, Rin groaning softly, though there hadn’t been lust in Haru’s gaze.  Hands carded through his hair, trembling, and he _wanted_ to ask but the words were locked in his throat and it only got harder when Haru’s tongue parted his lips and slid inside.

Desire sparked quickly—jealous energy was good for that, after all—Rin kissing his lover back, holding Haru against him, slipping a hand beneath Haru’s T-shirt—

—The phone in Rin’s pocket trilled loudly.  He wanted to ignore it.  He wanted so badly to ignore it.  “Fuck,” he muttered, reaching for the device—

Haru wasn’t helping, still on top of him with no indication he wanted to move, warm lips sliding across Rin’s cheek and ear, down to his jaw and the column of his throat…

Rin exhaled roughly, pressing the phone to his other ear as he answered.  “Tōno-kun?”

 _“Apologies for interrupting you, Matsuoka-kun,”_ Hiyori said.  _“But—”_

 _“Hiyori!”_   Natsuya’s voice was loud in the background, along with the clink of glasses.  _“Let’s hit the beach again after this!”_

Hiyori sighed on the other end of the line.  _“I presume you caught that?”_

“Text me where you are,” Rin said.  “We’ll be there.”

 _“My thanks.”_   Hiyori hung up.

Rin dropped the phone, choking back a moan as Haru straddled his thighs, kissing a path down his chest to follow the zipper of his warmup jacket, slowly dragged to his waist—

With a grunt (and all of his self-control), he pushed at Haru’s shoulders.  “Later.  Hiyori needs backup.”

“Nn.”  Haru climbed off of him with a glare.

“Hey.”  Rin sat up, catching his lover before he went too far, pulling Haru in for one more kiss.  “We’ll make this quick.  I want time with you tonight.”

Haru’s eyes softened, warming with the smile that curved his lips. 

“Okay?”

“Yeah.”

It was probably the fastest they’d ever collected a tipsy Natsuya and shoved him into a cab.  Dinner didn’t take much longer.

-x-

There was moonlight spilling in through the window and few words spoken as they undressed each other and slipped into bed.  Rin took his time as he moved across his lover’s body with lips and hands, with teeth too, though he was careful not to leave any marks.

“ _Rin_ …”  Haru relaxed against the sheets, a harder breath pushed from his lips as Rin slid lower still, ducking beneath the blankets…

Haru said his name several times that night, and it was all the reassurance Rin’s heart needed.

* * *

Friday, June 8th, 2012

* * *

_Wreck Beach had posted etiquette, like…no photo/video without permission, no staring or gawking, and no overt sexual activity.  –All of which was just fine by Rin; Haru apparently had no objections either._

-x-

“ _This_ is your idea of ocean therapy?”  Rin slowly caught his breath, trembling as Haru pressed warm kisses against his abdomen.  There was blue sky and a thick tree-line above them, the little private nook they’d found well away from any other beachgoers and hidden from view. 

Haru wore a mock innocent expression in the shadow of their striped beach towel; the glitter in his eyes wouldn’t fool anyone.  “I want new memories, Rin.”

Rin snorted.  “Get the fuck up here.”  He tugged on Haru’s arm, his elbow hitting the sand as Haru stretched out on top.  Rin gladly surrendered his breath to their kisses, tasting sea-salt on Haru’s lips, gradually coming down from the high.

At length, Haru broke away, nuzzling Rin’s nose with a sweet sigh.  His fingers toyed with the ring on Rin’s left hand.  “Will you go on a date with me, on Sunday?”

“A date?”  Rin brushed shards of black hair from his lover’s face.

Haru smiled.  “I planned some things.”

Rin arched a brow.  “Is that why you’ve been preoccupied all week?”  _You’ve been on your laptop every night, even after we’ve gone to bed._   …Though if this was why, he felt like an idiot for wondering, especially for being slightly irritated about it.

Haru’s smile turned sly.  “You feel neglected?”  He rocked his hips against Rin’s for emphasis.

“Not fucking now I don’t,” Rin muttered with a grunt.  He flipped them, pushing Haru down.  Between deep kisses, he rearranged their towels and let his hand wander…

Haru gasped, shaking a little, his arms winding around Rin’s neck.  “So, yes?”

“Very yes,” Rin whispered.

* * *

Sunday, June 10th, 2012

* * *

They had the whole afternoon to themselves and no teammates in tow.  Haru splurged for a taxi out to Vancouver Harbour, Rin half-expecting them to pull up to an aquarium.  Instead, their driver stopped beside a shadowed, sketchy-looking alley.

“Half a block that way,” the driver said, pointing.

“Thank you.”  Haru took out his wallet and paid their fare.

Rin climbed out of the cab, donning his shades.  It was sunny—warm but not hot, perfect for a V-neck T-shirt and skinny jeans (not that he’d spent time picking his outfit for the date, except he totally had).  Haru looked good, too—in slim-cut trousers and a short-sleeve Henley that clung to his frame in all the right places.  It’d been hard for Rin to keep his eyes and his hands to himself already.

But he was determined to not derail the date Haru had prepared; his fiancé hadn’t even let a hint slip over the last two days.

Haru stepped out into sunshine, flicking his hair back as he slipped on his Aviators.  “Ready, Rin?”

 _I’d follow you anywhere, even down this sketchy alley._   “Lead the way.”

They wandered between walls of brick and painted concrete, passing a few dumpsters.  At least Haru didn’t have Sousuke’s sense of direction, but the farther they went, the more Rin wondered…

“Oh, here.”  Haru stopped in front of an open doorway with a storefront window alongside, bearing the name _Salt_ in understated cursive lettering.

Inside, the narrow space contained a full dining room and wine cellar—communal and single tables with woodblock tops and a matching bar space.  Rin tucked his sunglasses into the neck of his shirt as Haru checked in with the host.

“Reservation for Nanase, for two,” he said in English.

“Right this way.”  The host led them to a private table near the chalkboard bearing today’s offerings under three headers:  _Meat_ , _Cheese_ , and _Condiments_.  The place was starting to fill in, even though it was still afternoon.

Rin glanced at the menu and the board as he took the seat across from Haru. 

“This is just a snack, Rin,” Haru said, settling in.  “We’re having dinner later.”

Rin tapped the paper under his hand.  “There’s no fish on this menu, Haru.”

Haru’s eyes flicked to his, the look downright smoky.  “Good thing I’m in the mood for meat, hmm?”

Rin fought a grin, sinking his teeth into his lower lip.  _It’s gonna be a long night if you’re already feeling sassy._

When the server came, they ordered tasting plates.

“Two waters, please,” Haru said.  “And we’ll share a flight of wine.”

Rin arched a brow but said nothing as their server left.  They _were_ on a date and it was five o’clock somewhere, right?

Everything came with handwritten labels; they spent the first minute photo-documenting and taking selfies.  Then Haru lifted a wine glass—a deep red Syrah.

“Kanpai, Rin.”

Rin picked the Pinot Noir, sighing his contentment as he gazed into his fiancé’s eyes.  “Kanpai, Haru.”

-x-

He was warm from the wine—warmer from the company—as they stepped out into the sunny alley and donned their shades.  “Where to next?”

Haru checked his phone.  “This way.”  He nodded towards the main road, pocketing the device and offering his hand.

Nervous butterflies woke in Rin’s stomach as he considered Haru’s outstretched fingers.  Because… _because_ …

“It’s OK here, Rin,” Haru said softly.

Rin slowly, deliberately, took Haru’s hand, interlacing each of their fingers until their grip was firm.  The clamminess of his palm was as much from the giddy feelings stirring inside him as from the nerves.  He was grateful for the wine taking the edge off—maybe that was the point as Haru reeled him in, even daring to brush their lips together in the mostly deserted alleyway.

Rin’s heart raced, the smile impossible to contain now.  Haru beamed back at him, which only made him grin like a fool as they finally headed off, hand-in-hand.

-x-

Strolling under light posts with rainbow banners on Davie Street was like being in some wonderful, parallel universe—no one stared, no one even did a double-take.  It was freeing, even the air seemed to taste sweeter as they wandered along the sidewalk, slowing as Haru glanced at street numbers.

“What’s our destination?” Rin asked.

“Sousuke said there’s a famous bookstore here.  It should be…”  Haru stopped.  “Here, I guess?”

Passing under a green awning, they followed the corridor between small shops to a red neon sign.

…Oh, the place had books.  Rin blushed to the tips of his ears.  It also had plenty of other, er, products.

“Sousuke’s idea, huh?” he muttered as Haru began perusing the various items on display.

“Mm-hm.  He said he wanted his omiyage from here.”  Haru instantly gravitated towards a clothing rack of multicolored hot-pants (which Rin very much approved of, by the way), alongside other types of wearable merchandise with a variety of choices like latex, silicone, glow-in-the-dark...

“Did he now.”  Rin rocked back on his heels.  So many options for revenge…where to start?

-x-

After, they zig-zagged their way north through the city, passing eateries, markets, and apartment buildings en route to Stanley Park.  Rin could smell the sea—they were near Vancouver Harbour again—and sunlight made the leaves of the trees glisten bright green.  On West Georgia Street, they came upon a reflecting pool with small fountains and stepping stones, surrounded by—

“Sakura?”  Rin slowed, slipping off his shades, his shopping bag dangling from his wrist.  There were no blossoms at this time of year, but he recognized the trees—petite versions of the large sakura tree at Iwatobi Elementary.  The breeze sifted through his hair, rustling the leaves of a dozen trees.  In spring, the petals would fall into the reflecting pool…he could already imagine how pretty it would be (even if this wasn’t the type of pool they could swim in).

Haru stopped with him, still holding his hand.  “I read there’s something like forty-thousand sakura trees in the city.  Several different varieties.  Hundreds were gifts from Japan, originally.”

“Did you say _thousand_?” Rin asked.

Haru smiled.  “I wanted to show you, Rin.”

Warmth gathered in Rin’s throat.  For a moment, he couldn’t look away from Haru, backed by the fountain and the trees, branches swaying with the wind…  His voice, when he finally spoke, was labored.  “Show me more, Haru.”

“Ah.”  Haru’s eyes lit; he tugged on Rin’s hand.  “This way.”

They spent hours wandering the park grounds, visiting the monuments and gardens, taking selfies, looking for harbor seals from the seawall.  Vancouver Aquarium was in the park, though it wasn’t on Haru’s agenda.

When they finally got tired of walking and started to get hungry again, they caught a cab to Kitsilano Beach.  Dinner was at _The Boathouse_ —an elevated dining room with floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking the beach and English Bay.  Haru had reserved them a corner table with the best views in the whole place, the host seating them and handing them menus in leather portfolios.

Rin exhaled when he saw the prices.  “I’m underdressed for this,” he murmured, glancing at Haru over the top of his menu.

“You’re fine, Rin,” Haru said, warmth in his smile and in his eyes.  “The steaks here are highly rated.”

Rin’s gaze flicked down to the grill menu, his mouth already starting to water.  “You’re gonna spoil me.”

“I love you.  No such thing.”

Haru’s words, spoken with such softness and ease, winged straight to Rin’s heart.  He had to put his menu down, the air rushing from his lungs as he looked across at the one he loved.  _If we weren’t already engaged, I’d ask you to marry me all over again._   Because proposals were supposed to be like this, right?  A perfect date, a nice meal, not over breakfast and text messages.  Yet he _loved_ the way they got engaged and he was never deleting the text.  He’d even taken a screen capture and saved it to the Cloud just to be sure he’d never lose it. 

The matching ring on Haru’s finger gleamed in the light as he held his menu.  Someday, it would be gold.  Rin wanted to give his fiancé the world; that he couldn’t _right now_ wasn’t going to stop him from trying.

“Haru—”

Haru looked up, but before Rin could say a word, their server arrived.

“Good evening,” she said, filling their water glasses.  “My name is Avery and I’ll be taking care of you tonight.  Our fresh catch of the day is a fillet of jack mackerel, lightly seared, in a pernod beurre blanc—”

Haru’s attention snapped to her so fast Rin had to stifle a laugh.

 _I love you so damn much._   He was pretty sure Haru heard nothing else that she said.

“—May I start you off with a cocktail or a glass of wine?”

“I would like the mackerel, please,” Haru said.

Rin coughed to cover his amusement.  “He’d love it if you could suggest a white that would be a good pairing.  Red for me, please, to accompany the filet.”

“Of course.  With the mackerel, may I suggest—”

Haru looked at him dreamily and Rin had to hide another laugh, his insides already gone to mush.

-x-

Pleasantly full, they lounged on the beach for a while (with their clothes on), before hitting the 137m Kitsilano saltwater pool for some lazy post-dinner swimming.  It was refreshing and even being this close to the sea, Haru seemed to have an easier time today.  Rin could hope it was because of his company, but he wasn’t about to jinx the mood by asking.

As the sun began to set, they were back on campus, though Haru had them dropped off on West Mall so they could stroll under the sakura trees.  Rin felt airy from the wine, from the whole day, from holding hands so freely and not having to hide.  He loved the way it felt—he loved _Haru_ —and he didn’t want to think about getting on a plane on Friday and going home.

Rin turned, catching both of Haru’s hands in his.  He wanted to dance together, to fly, to soar—  “We’re definitely coming back,” he said as they swayed, spinning slowly on the sidewalk underneath the leafy sakura canopy.

There was a pink blush in Haru’s cheeks, his blue eyes alight with the love that echoed in Rin’s heart.  “You liked the restaurant?”

“It was _perfect_.”

“You think your parents would like it?”

“They’d love it!  My dad is always going on about the amazing food they ate abroad, when he and my mom traveled during college and right after.”  He squeezed his lover’s hands, chuckling.  “You know my dad, I’d mention this place and he’d buy tickets—”

Haru gently reeled him in, their fingers laced together, their steps just missing each other’s toes.  “Maybe next spring?  When the sakura trees are blooming?”

Rin sighed happily as they swung through another rotation.  “Right after graduation.  I know I can make the credits by then.  Haru, I want to see it _all_ —”

“Maybe…”  Haru stopped on the sidewalk.  “…for our wedding?”

Rin stilled at arms’ length, his breath catching in his throat as he lifted his gaze, meeting the smile—the hope on Haru’s face, the moisture in blue eyes.  “Our—”

The word barely passed his lips before Haru tugged him in, hands gripping his, speaking in a whisper, “We can get married here, Rin.”

Rin’s eyes blew wide, his heart pounding in his chest as Haru’s words soaked in.

“It’s been legal here for nearly a decade,” Haru said, his eyes brimming with liquid.  “We don’t have to be residents, there’s no waiting period, we could get a marriage license _tomorrow_ if we wanted to.  I double- and triple-checked the English—”

Heat welled up in Rin’s throat and eyes, overflowing from his heart.  Suddenly, _there was a way_ , the longing they had could be fulfilled, the waiting could be _over_ —  “Why is Canada so awesome?!”  He launched himself into Haru’s arms, the tears already dripping down his face.

Haru caught him; they fell back a step but stayed upright somehow.  Rin trembled, holding his _husband-to-be_ so tightly he could barely breathe.  _Haru—_

Rin’s cheek was damp where their faces touched, the warmth of Haru’s tears mingling with his own.  Shaking fingers carded through his hair.  “Rin, wanna plan a wedding?”

“Holy shit _yes_ —”

Haru laughed, Rin drawing back enough to see Haru’s smile and the love in reddened eyes.  Brushing bits of hair and wet trails from each other’s faces, they leaned in as one—  Their kiss, in the shadow of the sakura tree, was salty with their tears, the setting sun gilding the leaves around them with gold and fire.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Karaoke playlist –  
> [ _I Gotta Feeling_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uSD4vsh1zDA) (Black Eyed Peas), [_Don’t Stop Believing_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1k8craCGpgs) (Journey), [_Get the Party Started_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mW1dbiD_zDk) (P!nk)  
>   
> [UBC Outdoor Pool](http://livedoor.blogimg.jp/tobiuojapan/imgs/c/2/c2a262d7.jpg) (though it's no longer there as the Aquatic Centre was recently redone)  
>   
>  Cherry Blossoms in Vancouver [1](http://dailyhive.com/vancouver/21-places-cherry-blossoms-vancouver), [2](https://www.karizma.photography/vancouver-cherry-blossom/)


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All characters are fictional and there is no intended resemblance or relation to any real-life individuals (Olympians, etc).

* * *

Friday, July 20th, 2012

* * *

“Here you are, Mr. Matsuoka.” 

Rin did his best to swallow his giddiness as he accepted the passport-sized ID card—it only had _his_ photo on it and the _London 2012_ emblem and _Rin MATSUOKA – ATHLETE – JAPAN_ —  Totally no big deal, just like the _Olympic rings_ on the attached lanyard.  He clutched the glossy plastic holder, biting his lip to avoid grinning like an idiot—

The woman behind the counter smiled.  “Welcome to London.”

 _Play it cool, Matsuoka._   “Thank you,” he said in English; if his voice was a little excitable, she wouldn’t notice, right?  His inner five-year-old was doing cartwheels and shouting at the top of his lungs, so _any_ decorum was definitely a win.  Rin left the counter, slipping the lanyard over his neck.

“Ms. Isuzu Mikoshiba?”

“Ooh, me!”  Isuzu popped to the front of the group, holding the straps of her backpack, Momo right on her heels.

Rin sidestepped to avoid being run over, smoothing his credentials against the lapel of his striped gray blazer.  He joined Haru and Sousuke—all of them in their matching Team Japan travel attire (though Haru had the top button of his light blue polo shirt undone as always). 

“Let’s see, Rin.”  Sousuke hooked a finger around Rin’s lanyard, leaning close to inspect the badge.  “Nice pic.  And here I thought you’d be grinning like a little kid…”

Rin snorted, batting his best friend’s hand away.  “Of course it’s a good picture.  All cameras love me.”

“Can I see?” Haru asked, tugging Rin in.  His eyes were warm as he studied _everything_ —one centimeter at a time, it felt like—his thumbs ghosting across the plastic. 

Rin pressed his lips, trying not to beam too proudly under Haru’s intense scrutiny.  After more than a minute, he finally cleared his throat.  “You’ll get your own, you know.”

“Mr. Haruka Nanase?”

Haru flashed him a sly look and let go, heading off to the counter.

“Everyone who’s already done—”  Coach Maekawa was on one side of the crowded _Welcome Centre_ , trying to keep order, “—you can load your luggage onto the bus.”  She gestured towards sliding doors leading into the Athletes’ Village and the bus waiting in the circular drive.

“Go on ahead, Rin,” Sousuke said.  “I’ll catch up.”

“Ah.”  Rin gathered his things—the Team Japan backpack and both suitcases, pausing by Haru’s identical set.

Haru was intercepted on his way back, Natsuya catching his badge.

“You’re not frowning in this picture, Haruka.”  Natsuya chuckled.  “For once.”

“Aniki, you’re holding up the line.”  Ikuya nudged his brother forward, his two large suitcases in tow.

“I’m going.”  Natsuya tossed a grin and a wink behind him.  “Bossy Ikuya.”

Ikuya just rolled his eyes, herding his brother towards the door and allowing Haru to escape.

It _was_ a good photo, Rin drawing Haru in by the lanyard for a close-up study of warm blue eyes and soft black hair with _Haruka NANASE_ written underneath.  “Not your usual mugshot,” he murmured, gaze flicking to his fiancé’s face, to the even warmer look sparkling in Haru’s eyes.

“How could it be?” Haru asked, covering Rin’s hand with his own.  “You’re with me.”

 _Haru…_   Rin’s insides melted.  “Mn, let’s go.”  A happy blush heated his cheeks as he pulled away.

They joined the luggage migration into bright London sunshine, colorful Olympic pennants flying overhead, lining the road.  Rin and Haru added their suitcases to the queue for loading.  To the west, building after building rose into the sky—the Athletes’ Village towers with flags lashed to balconies and huge banners draped down the sides—

Rin was buzzing, filled with impatience as he donned his shades.  They were _finally_ here—three months, countless training camps, and several continents since April.  This morning they’d left Tenerife, flying four hours from the Canary Islands to London, spent over an hour on a bus from Luton Airport…  He’d only carried this dream for sixteen years.  Now, he was _standing underneath the Olympic rings_ —

“Rin.”  Haru caught his hand, reeling him in—

Rin’s eyes widened as Haru pulled him _all the way_ in, not stopping until their bodies—and lips—collided.

His startled noise was muffled by the kiss, their teammates cheering and whistling around them. 

After five heartbeats—maybe six—Haru drew back, mischief glittering in his eyes behind amber Aviator shades.  “Welcome to the Village.”

 _You_ —  Rin exhaled through his nose, rolling lips that tasted like Haru, and grinned.

-x-

Team Japan had Applegate House in the Seaside Zone on the west edge of the Village, not far from the Transport Mall and the Main Dining Hall.  Their coaches and team staff handed out room assignments in the lobby, turning them loose with schedules and maps and plenty of energy to burn off.  Rin immediately lost his flatmates other than Asahi, on the way to the elevators even, sighing as he stared at the piles of Haru’s and Sousuke’s luggage, their owners nowhere in sight.

“Where’s the nearest pool?”  Rin raked a hand through his hair, peering out the windows at the surrounding parks and buildings.

“Eh, the gym’s on the other side of the dining hall.”  Asahi consulted his map.  “This doesn’t say if there’s a pool, though.”

Rin folded his arms, perching on one of his suitcases to wait.  He for sure wasn’t carting his stuff plus Haru’s all the way to the ninth floor…

The two came back minutes later (just as Rin was contemplating getting his phone out), jogging up to them out of breath—

“Sorry,” Haru said, greeting him with a peck on the cheek and bright eyes.  “The _Resident Centre_ is next door.”

“And what’s so magical about that?” Rin asked, not bothering to hide the mild irritation creeping into his voice.

Haru pressed closer—flush against him, furtively sliding a hand beneath his blazer and slipping something into Rin’s left trouser pocket.  “Essentials, Rin,” Haru whispered as he withdrew.

Rin arched a brow, reaching into his pocket—  Heat gathered in his face, not to mention other parts, as his fingertips scraped a square foil packet.  Rin wet his lips, eyeing his fiancé.  “Get your stuff, Haru.”

The swimmers had the entire ninth floor—the building penthouse—plus roof access (that door was locked, but it was only a matter of time, probably).  Their flat had two bedrooms and two bathrooms with a small common area and a balcony that faced Victory Park to the south and the Olympic Park in the distance.  There was no kitchen anywhere, as they’d been briefed to expect with the 24-hour dining facilities nearby.  Each bedroom had two narrow twin beds with colorful comforters, nightstands, and wardrobes with mirrors.

At least the furniture would be easy to rearrange…  They filled the west-facing bedroom with their luggage, Rin resting his hand on the doorknob as he watched Haru sink down on the nearest bed, testing the mattress.  It was so tempting to close the door and join him, never mind their flatmates—

Knuckles rapped on the other side of the door, Rin jumping away with a blush. 

“We’re headed out to explore for a bit,” Sousuke said through the doorway, having already ditched his blazer. 

“We are?” Asahi asked, his voice coming from the second room down the hall.

“Yeah, we are.”  Sousuke slipped his hands into the pockets of his trousers, a fond if exasperated smile on his face.  “So you guys can take your time settling in.  Text whenever you want to meet up.”

“ _Oh_.”  Asahi gave an embarrassed chuckle as he entered the hallway, brushing a hand through his hair.  “Sure, we’ll see you later.” 

Rin’s face burned as he waved, tilting his head towards his best friend in a silent expression of gratitude.  Haru joined him as the main door of the apartment closed, Sousuke’s and Asahi’s footsteps receding.

“We have the best teammates,” Haru murmured, slipping _well_ into Rin’s personal space, lips trailing across cheek and jaw, hands settling on his waist.  Haru’s thumbs scraped arcs onto Rin’s abdomen, warm through his polo shirt.

“No kidding.”  Rin buried his hands in Haru’s hair, dragging his lover’s mouth back to his own—

-x-

They were sweaty, breathless, and spent, afterwards, scraps of two foil packets lost somewhere in the sheets.  The Olympic comforter—like them—was half off the bed, sliding onto the floor.  Rin pushed hair from his face, slowly catching his breath as they leaned against the bed, side-by-side, their fingers laced together.

“Did you like your inauguration into the Village, Rin?”

He snorted.  _As if you have to ask._   “Don’t tell me you’ve been wanting to do that since Rome.”

Haru smiled around rough breaths, his head resting against the mattress, turned towards him.  “There’s a lot I’ve been wanting since Rome.”  His eyes softened, thumb rubbing the band on Rin’s finger.  “In everything, you surpass my wildest dreams.”

“ _Oi_.”  Rin blinked hard, a warm lump forming in his throat as he fought the heat in his eyes.

“I mean it,” Haru whispered.

“I know.”  Rin shifted onto his side, drawing his fiancé close.  His exhale was ragged as he drank in the love in Haru’s gaze and answered with his lips. 

* * *

Friday, July 27th, 2012

* * *

“Onii-chan, you’re so tan!”  Gou launched herself into Rin’s arms, ruby hair flying everywhere.  “Your muscles must look amazing!”

“ _Tch_ , Gou.”  Rin set his sister on her feet, hugging her and his parents under blue skies and scattered clouds at the crowded Olympic Village Plaza, the flags of 200+ participating nations flying above them in the steady breeze.  “How were your flights?”

“ _So_ long,” his mother said, smoothing the lapels of his formal Team Japan blazer as they parted, brushing invisible specks of dust from the rich, red fabric.  “I forgot how much I like flying around the world.”  She wore sunglasses, though Rin could still see the faint circles beneath her eyes.  (It was the middle of the night in Japan, after all.)

“We got our naps in this morning,” Rin’s dad said, sneaking an arm around Miyako’s waist and pressing a kiss to her hair.  He gave Rin a wink.  “Rin, you look rested.”

“Taper, you know.”  He shrugged, trying to play it nonchalant despite the warmth involuntarily gathering in his cheeks.  “We were in the pool this morning.”  They’d spent the entire week sleeping, training, shaving down…and so many things he was _not_ discussing with his parents.  Suffice it to say, he was plenty relaxed and ready to swim.

Gou gasped, clutching his arm (feeling up his bicep through his sleeve), her gaze locked on someone behind Rin.  “Onii-chan, will you introduce me?  Captain Hamada’s traps are _legendary_.”

Rin rolled his eyes.  “What’s with you and backstroke swimmers, Gou?”  _You’re lucky none of the Mikoshibas have noticed you’re here yet…_   Seijuurou, Isuzu, and Momotarou were on the edge of the Plaza with their parents, five loud, exuberant redheads taking selfies together.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about!”

“Rin.”  Haru came over with his parents, and even though it had only been minutes since they’d last seen each other, the sight still took Rin’s breath away.  Like Rin and the rest of their teammates, Haru wore his Team Japan formal suit—white slacks and leather shoes, a white button-down shirt with hidden red stripes inside the button placket, and a crisp red blazer with the Japanese flag and the Olympic rings on the left breast pocket.  –All _perfectly_ tailored, plus the gleam of Haru’s engagement ring and the subtle tease in Haru’s eyes…  Rin was 200% slain.  It was really a toss-up between Haru in this and Haru in his Coast Guard dress uniform.  _Both are good._

Rin was saved having to speak right away as his family mobbed Haru and Haru’s parents drew him into a hug.

“Oh, Rin, you look so handsome.”  Haru’s mother smiled up at him, her black hair falling loose around her shoulders, her blue-gray eyes warm.  She wore a sleeveless blouse, capri pants, and a silk scarf that was blue with flecks of red.

“Thank you.”  Rin leaned down to kiss her cheek.  “Thanks for coming, Okaasan, Otousan.”

“We wouldn’t have missed it,” Haru’s dad said.  “Your father’s been briefing us on everything—the whole itinerary plus all of the logistics, so we feel very well prepared.”  His eyes sparkled with mirth behind his glasses.

“I’m afraid your parents were a captive audience on the plane,” Toraichi said to Haru with a chuckle.  “They were kind to let me talk their ears off.”

“We Nanases only pretend to like it quiet,” Haru said, the same amusement in his eyes.  He sent a sidelong glance at Rin that made his blush deepen.

“And how have you been, Haruka?” Rin’s mom asked, fussing equally over Haru’s jacket and perfectly pressed collar.

“Good,” Haru said with a smile.  He reached for Rin’s hand, lacing their fingers together.  “We’ve been really good.”

At the unveiled love in Haru’s eyes and voice, Rin instantly turned to mush inside.  _Haru—_   He bit his lower lip, though he couldn’t stop himself from smiling.

A fake shutter sounded—Gou pointing her pearl pink camera right at them.  “Family selfie time!”

They all crowded in—Rin and Haru in the center, flanked by their parents, Gou tucked under Rin’s arm with the camera held out in front.

“ _Ichi-ni-san_ —”

They posed for several pictures, Haru squeezing Rin’s hand.  “We’ll get a real photographer next time,” he said, his voice perfectly casual.

“Next time?”  Miyako chuckled.  “Are we already planning for Rio?”

“Before then,” Haru said, winking at Rin.

Rin grinned back.  “For our spring wedding in Vancouver.”

There was a collective gasp, surprise on every face—  Two seconds later, Rin and Haru were _engulfed_ by gushing family members, nearly knocked off their feet.  Neither of them could move—except as their loved ones vibrated around them; Rin held his fiancé’s gaze, matching Haru’s smile, too happy for words.

-x-

_“Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome the athletes of the London 2012 Olympic Games—”_

From the moment Rin stepped into the Olympic Stadium, time seemed to speed up, events overlapping with lights, cheering, and sound.  Their parents were somewhere in the audience of eighty thousand, the phone in Rin’s pocket buzzing constantly with text messages during the parade behind their rippling Japanese flag.  He grinned and waved at the stands—at the sea of twinkling camera flashes—with Haru on his right and Sousuke on his left as they walked together.  Following Great Britain’s entrance at the close of the parade, the ceremony progressed with music and fireworks and Haru being transfixed by cyclists with glowing dove’s wings during a cover of the Beatles’ _Come Together_.

It felt like minutes rather than hours, the ache in Rin’s legs and feet the only indication they’d been standing as long as they really had.  He tried to slow down, to imprint moments—memories—onto his heart, but never stopped long enough, swept up in the tide of energy and emotion, just struggling to take it all in.

Rin’s face was wet as the cauldron lit—204 tall pipes with copper petals, one for each participating country—rising above them to form the flickering, enduring flame.  As the music swelled, fireworks shot into the sky in starbursts of red, blue, and gold—

“Rin.”  The shimmering hues danced off Haru’s black hair, reflected in the glistening moisture of his eyes as he came close—

“Haru—?”  The name was muffled, Rin’s breath interrupted as Haru fit their lips together, his hands warm on Rin’s shoulders.  The kiss was exquisitely tender, Haru’s mouth pressed softly to his.  Rin was almost too stunned to respond, clutching the lapels of Haru’s jacket as seconds slipped by, as he sighed deep inside and relaxed.

“…What was that for?” he asked in a whisper, when Haru drew back just enough for their gazes to meet, their foreheads gently touching.

“Because I want to remember this moment for the rest of our lives,” Haru whispered back, smiling, his face damp with Rin’s tears.  “Just like the first time you kissed me.”

Rin’s breath caught.  _You still remember?_   Six years ago, almost to the day, when he was fifteen and awkward as fuck— 

Strong arms circled his shoulders as Haru pulled him in, his blue eyes shining.  “There were fireworks that night, too.” 

 _Haru…_   Rin couldn’t speak, trembling as he wrapped his arms around Haru’s waist, overcome with love, with everything—  Tears dripped from his chin as he nuzzled in, as if he could communicate by contact alone how he felt, how in all the endless possibilities he’d dreamed of and hoped for, he’d never dared to imagine they’d end up here, yet this was _happening_ , this was _real_ —  _I love you so much._

The same love glowed in Haru’s eyes and smile, happiness Rin could feel in the tight press of arms.  He closed his eyes, a sigh falling from his lips as Haru kissed a tear from his left cheek—

He could’ve stayed with Haru forever—just like that, under the pop and sizzle of the fireworks, with their teammates…

 _Oh, wait—_   Rin opened his eyes, his face instantly ablaze as he caught Sousuke and Asahi with their phones out, aimed at them.  “Oi!”

“Just commemorating the moment, Rin,” Sousuke said with an easy smile.

Asahi grinned, giving them a thumbs-up.  “From multiple angles.” 

Haru pulled free, digging his phone from his pocket.  “Can you send it to me?”

“Haru!”

“And Rin.”

“ _Tch_.”  But Rin couldn’t help smiling, drying his tears and reaching for Haru’s phone.  “Gimme that.”  Haru draped against his back, their cheeks touching as Rin snapped the picture (and several more).

As the fireworks continued—well after midnight—the four of them crowded together, taking a zillion selfies.

* * *

Saturday, July 28th, 2012

* * *

9AM was far too early for how late they’d gone to bed.  The ceremony had lasted until 1AM, the energy overflowing the stadium as athletes streamed back to the Village through the Olympic Park, mingling, shouting, flirting.  No one had been ready to sleep after that…

Rin was not eager to move, lying on his stomach, face pressed into his pillow.  He managed to unearth his buzzing phone from a pile of discarded clothing—their collared shirts, a sock, Haru’s underwear—to silence the alarm.

“Nn.”  Haru rolled onto him, squishing Rin into the mattress, his shaved legs ultra-smooth against Rin’s.  “No.”

Rin chuckled to himself as he folded his forearms, making a pillow for his cheek.  He closed his eyes, reveling in Haru’s warmth, Haru’s soft breaths stirring the hair at the base of his neck.   “OK.”  It was _so_ nice, he could definitely fall asleep like this, not to mention other pleasant memories coming to mind…

Haru sighed into his hair, the sound tinged with irritation.  “You’re supposed to be the responsible one.”

Rin smiled.  “I’m feeling Nanase Haruka-level lazy this morning.”

“Mn.  In _that_ case…”  Haru got comfortable on top of him, pressing kisses to Rin’s skin that sent delicious shivers down his spine.

“Nn… _Haru_ —”  Rin’s groan was muffled by the pillow as he melted beneath Haru’s lips, sweetly drowsy.  He knew Haru was calling his bluff, but _not_ getting up was sounding better and better all the time.  They didn’t have any events today, though they were _supposed_ to be on-time to cheer for their teammates—

Their coaches would be taking attendance.  Maekawa was sure to have some kind of punishment waiting for athletes who ‘overslept’ following the Opening Ceremonies.

And their parents—

“ _Damnit_.”  Even squeezing his eyes shut, Rin couldn’t block out the Mom-face they’d definitely get from Haru’s mother if they turned up late.  “We gotta go—”  He squirmed out from underneath Haru, hopping on one foot as he freed himself from the blankets and grabbed a pair of underwear.

Haru laughed quietly, rolling onto his back.  “You lasted eight seconds, Rin.”  He was delectably tangled in their _London 2012_ comforter—naked, hair mussed, eyes dancing with mirth.

Rin snorted and lobbed clothes at his fiancé.  “Hurry up and get dressed.”

-x-

The London Aquatic Centre was walkable from Applegate House, along the River Lea and past the Water Polo Arena.  Usually, they did it in a stroll, but today required a brisk race-walk; they arrived out of breath, sneaking in through the Athletes’ entrance by the warm-up pool.  Ozawa was in the water, warming up ahead of the heats for the women’s 100m butterfly.  Isuzu should’ve been there too, but…

They found Isuzu in the corridor adjacent to the Athletes’ Prep area on the way to the call room.  A barrier ran down the length of the space—athletes and officials on one side, family and friends on the other.  Isuzu was damp from the pool, swim cap on, dropping her navy-blue warmup jacket off her shoulders with her back to someone Rin couldn’t see—

“Isuzu-chan, look at your deltoids!”  Rin’s sister dissolved into incoherent squeaky noises.

 _Gou…_   She was on the opposite side of the barrier, head-to-toe in Team Japan gear including the bandana on her forehead, her fingers covering her lips and her eyes downright _sparkling_.  Rin sighed.

“Heh.  I’ve been training hard since we last saw each other,” Isuzu said, grinning over her shoulder.  “Paid off, huh?”

Gou nodded.  “Uhm, can I…?”  Her face was bright pink as she tentatively reached out—

“Sure!”  Isuzu propped a hand on her hip, flexing in her knee skins as Gou touched her shoulder.

Gou’s blush deepened as she stroked damp, tanned muscle, Rin fighting the urge to facepalm.  Their parents were nowhere to be seen, which was probably for the best.

“Wah, Nee-channnn—”  An abject wail came from behind Rin, interrupted by Seijuurou’s laugh.

“No use whining, Momotarou!”  Seijuurou had his little brother in a headlock.  “We’ve got to work harder on our muscles!  This isn’t over.”

Isuzu noticed her brothers, shooting them a victorious smirk as Gou got _both_ hands in on the action.

 _You’re enjoying this way too much, Gou._ The Mikoshiba brothers, on the other hand, looked more and more dejected as time went on.

“—Here you are.”  Coach Maekawa sighed.  “Seijuurou-kun, you’re supposed to be in first call.  Isuzu-san—”  She gestured towards the warmup area.  “Back in the pool, hmm?”

“Ah.”  Seijuurou exhaled, prying himself away from the scene.

“Be right there!”  Isuzu gave their coach a thumbs-up before turning back to Gou and offering her left arm, bicep flexed.  “Do I get a kiss for good luck?”

Gou’s face flushed nearly purple as she leaned in, giving Isuzu a peck on the cheek instead.  Isuzu’s eyes widened, Gou fleeing in the next instant, a flash of ruby hair disappearing into the crowd in the direction of the stairs.

Isuzu’s smile evaporated, a stunned look on her face as she stared in Gou’s wake, touching her cheek.  “Gou-chan…”

Rin’s brows climbed his forehead, his sister’s expression burned into his mind.  He wasn’t ready for Gou to be dating, never mind the fact that she was already twenty (or that he’d gotten _engaged_ at nineteen).  All of his protective, older brother instincts kicked in…sort of.

“Haru, how am I supposed to threaten Gou’s crush if it’s a girl?”

“Threaten?”  Haru cocked a brow.

“You know, ‘if you make my sister cry, I’ll hurt you’—that kind of stuff.”  Easy enough if it was Seijuurou or Sousuke, even Makoto—

Haru snorted.  “Dunno, Rin.  You might just have to drop it and let Gou take care of herself.  And be there for her when she needs you.”

“ _Tch_.”  Rin glared at his fiancé.  “I hate it when you have all the right answers.”

Haru smiled.

“Not fair, Nee-chan.”  Momotarou was on the floor, pouting, his arms and legs folded.

With a dreamy look on her face, Isuzu crouched down and scooped him up.  “Someday, little brother, you’ll find your princess too.”  She carted him off towards the warm-up pool like a sack of potatoes, despite his squirming and whining.

 _My baby sister’s all grown up._ Rin scrubbed a hand over his face, smothering a sigh.  _When did that happen, Gou?_

“Maybe we’ll have a double wedding, Rin.”

“Do _not_ start with me.”

-x-

The athletes had pool-side seats along lane eight, Rin and Haru squeezing in with Sousuke, Asahi, and the rest of their teammates not swimming in the morning heats.  The winged natatorium—with seating for 17,000—erupted with cheering as the announcers got things underway at 10AM with the heats for the men’s 400m individual medley.  Seijuurou and Natsuya were third and fourth seed, in heats three and five, respectively.  Both advanced to the final with Seijuurou, apparently having recovered from earlier (or maybe just extra motivated), taking the top spot overall.  The women’s 100m fly followed, Ozawa slipping under 59 seconds in heat four to qualify for the semi-finals while Isuzu just fell short in the fifth heat.  Japan didn’t have any competitors in the men’s 400m free, but Takara swam in the heats for the women’s 400IM afterwards, earning a slot in the final. 

Minutes past noon, swimmers walked out for the sixth heat of the men’s 100m breaststroke, Kirishima Ikuya in lane five and Ikehara Yoshino (the Beijing gold medalist and Olympic record holder) in lane four. 

“Kirishima-kun!!”  “Ikehara-senpai!!” 

Rin was already deaf from two hours of cheering, so what he definitely needed was Natsuya shouting in his ear, arm draped across his shoulders.

“Ikuya!” 

At the long whistle, the competitors climbed onto the blocks, bending for the start.

_“Take your marks.”_

The crowd hushed, Rin holding his breath along with everyone else—

At the signal, both Ikuya and Ikehara had fast, clean starts, slicing into the water and coming up to rapid strokes.  The Australian in lane three and the swimmer from Lithuania in lane two just edged ahead—by a hand’s length—during the first fifty, the Japanese swimmers right behind, with pressure coming from the Brazilian swimmer in lane six.  Ikehara clocked third at the turn, Ikuya fourth—

Rin’s heart raced like he was in the pool.  He had Haru’s hand as the lead swimmers dolphin-kicked underwater, jostled by Natsuya leaning on him.  The competitors broke through, starting their sprints—

Lanes three and two were still ahead, but Ikehara and Ikuya were gaining _fast_. 

“Ikuya!!”  Natsuya was half out of his seat, dragging Rin with him as the lead pack crossed the mid-point in front of them, flying towards the finish line.  

Ikehara caught up during the final fifteen meters; he touched second, one one-hundredth after the Australian swimmer in lane three.  The swimmer from Lithuania touched third and Ikuya was still gaining speed as he hit the wall in fourth, all of them within a quarter second of each other.

“Did you see that split?”  Natsuya was on his feet, gripping Rin’s shoulder, beaming like the proud big brother he was.

“His sprint’s even faster than Ikehara-senpai’s,” Haru said, standing along with them, waving his stick flag.

It was no small compliment.  Down in the pool, Ikuya pulled off his cap and goggles, shaking the water from his hair and looking pleased at the board.  Ikehara swam to him, the two clasping hands and sharing smiles over the lane line. 

“Natsuya-senpai, can I have Rin back now?” Haru asked.

“Oh.”  Natsuya laughed, finally releasing Rin.  “Sorry, Haruka.  Sure thing.”

Rin grinned, smoothing the wrinkled sleeve of his warmup jacket before slinging his arm comfortably around Haru’s shoulders.  Haru slipped an arm around his waist, pulling him in—

Rin held his fiancé’s gaze, warm throughout as the sixth heat cleared the pool and the seventh heat came out.  _I can’t wait to swim with you tomorrow_. 

Haru smiled, his eyes shimmering blue like the water.

-x-

Isuzu and the rest of the Team Japan women’s 4x100 freestyle relay team put up a third-place finish in the first of two heats to qualify for the final (in fifth overall) at the end of the morning program.  After a brief visit with their parents, Rin and Haru headed back to the Athletes’ Village with their teammates, grabbing lunch in the dining hall and turning in for a nap (and shaving touchup and cold showers).  They were _trying_ to stick to the forty-eight hour rule this time, though there was still plenty of making out, teasing each other, and compromising cuddling positions.  Giving up kissing Haru or the _I love you’s_ whispered against bare skin would’ve been like asking Rin to stop breathing for a week.

When their alarm went off, he woke with the steady tha-thump of Haru’s heart beneath his ear, their fingers woven together under the sheets.

-x-

The first finals and semi-finals that night were a deafening blur—Seijuurou defending his Shanghai bronze in the men’s 400IM behind the United States and Brazil, Ozawa qualifying for the 100m fly final and Ikehara in the 100m breaststroke.  The women’s relay team put up their best time yet in the 4x100 free final, breaking the Japanese record even though it didn’t come with a medal.  By the way Isuzu celebrated behind the blocks, waving and grinning at the stands—and Gou waving and shouting back—no one would guess they hadn’t won it all.

* * *

Sunday, July 29th, 2012

* * *

Sending Haru off to the call room _with Ikuya_ for the heats of the men’s 200m freestyle was up there with Rin’s most irrationally jealous moments ever—definitely in the top ten.  A few hundredths of a second was all the difference and he _knew_ he was pouting as Haru hugged him in the Athletes’ Prep area, amusement shining alongside soft compassion in blue eyes. 

“Wish me luck?” Haru asked, holding him close, Haru’s warmth bleeding through their navy-blue Team Japan tracksuits.

There were no cameras here, Rin letting out a tight sigh as he looped his arms around Haru’s shoulders and touched their foreheads together.  “Like you need luck, Haru.”

Haru smiled, leaning in to kiss the corner of Rin’s mouth.  “See you after.”

“Ah.”  Rin tilted his head, catching his lover’s lips briefly.

Haru pulled away with soft eyes, holding Rin’s gaze for a moment longer before joining Ikuya, the two of them heading off towards the call room with one of the team managers.

Rin puffed out his cheeks as they left, raking hair back from his face.

An elbow caught him in the ribs.  “Wow, Rin.  I haven’t seen that look since Rome.”  Sousuke snorted.

Asahi was with him, brow furrowed.  “You guys weren’t—”

“2AM streaming.  He glared at the screen most of the time.”

“I did _not_.”  Rin’s face heated.

Sousuke chuckled.  “So, you wanna get seats or stay down here and sulk?”

 _I’m so not sulking._   “Let’s go,” Rin muttered, shoving his hands into the pockets of his warmup jacket.

They were on-time to watch Isuzu crush it with a third-place finish in heat six of the women’s 100m backstroke, Seijuurou yelling from the stands (and wearing his bronze medal from last night, because of course he was). 

Isuzu climbed out of the pool with a huge smile on her face, waving her swim cap and blowing kisses towards the stands.  “Gou-chan!”

It wasn’t hard to find Gou or Rin’s parents behind a huge Japanese flag, in their matching _Olympic Team Coast Guard Matsuoka – Nanase – Yamazaki_ T-shirts, bandanas, and everything else his dad brought.

“Isuzu-chan!”

_I guess this is going to be a thing now._

The women’s 100m backstroke was followed by the heats for the men’s 200m free.  Haru and Ikuya were in separate heats, which somewhat lessened the sting of Rin being stuck in a spectator’s chair instead of swimming.  Both of them finished in the top eight overall, easily qualifying for the semi-finals.  In the sixth heat, Rin got his first glimpse of American hotshot Damien Andrews in action (the guy was a repeat gold medalist and World and Olympic Record holder), accompanied by enough cowbells ringing to make anyone go insane, alongside Australia’s freestyle lead—Beijing silver medalist Ethan McInnes.

As soon as the freestyle heats were over, Rin, Sousuke, and Asahi headed back to the locker room to prep for the 4x100 free.  Haru was there in his jammers, still wet from the pool, pulling Rin into a changing cubicle before he could utter a single word of congratulations.

Rin’s back hit the tile wall, Haru’s mouth covering his, hands clutching fistfuls of his warmup jacket.  Rin’s groan was muffled; he gladly yielded to the demands of Haru’s lips, pulling his lover against him.  It was _minutes_ before Haru let him go.  Rin could barely catch his breath, drinking in the intensity in Haru’s eyes.

“The rule won’t last the night with you looking at me like that,” he murmured, his gaze falling to reddened lips parted by rough breaths.

“You’re here this time,” Haru whispered.  He inhaled, blinking twice, his eyes glossy with liquid and lashes trembling.  “I promised myself I’d never tell you how I looked for you.  How every time I finished a race or got out of the pool, _I looked for you_ —”

“ _Haru_ —”  Rin’s eyes blew wide at the words, his fiancé shaking in his arms.  He couldn’t bear another syllable, capturing Haru’s lips for a bruising kiss, running his fingers through shards of silken hair made coarse by chlorine.  As Haru hitched a breath, tightening his arms, Rin reversed their positions, nipping lightly with his teeth as he pressed Haru against the wall, sliding his tongue inside…  _I’ll show you, Haru, however you need me to, however many times it takes—I’m here._

“ _Rin_ …”

—Knuckles rapped against the cubicle door, Sousuke clearing his throat.  “You know we’ve got a relay to swim.”

Rin broke the kiss with a grunt, drawing back to arm’s length.  _Of course we fucking know that._   He found softness in Haru’s eyes, satisfied that he’d at least gotten his point across.

“We didn’t forget,” Haru said, holding Rin’s gaze, his eyes overflowing with warmth and affection.

“Uh-huh…”  Sousuke did not sound convinced.

-x-

_“Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome the athletes in the men’s four-by-one hundred meter freestyle relay, heat one—”_

Rin had the back of the line for Team Japan as they headed out from final call to the pool deck, taking lane six between the Italians in lane five and the home team—Great Britain—in lane seven.  The roar of the crowd was nothing like high school meets, Nationals, even the Japanese Swimming Championships in April.  For the first time, he was swimming in front of the _world_ , showing everyone what he was capable of.  Team Japan Head Coach, Fujino Katsurou, had put him in for anchor, a position he regularly traded with Haru during practice, given how close their times were.  But to have his first Olympic race be a _relay_ and to be entrusted with anchor _,_ Rin’s nerves hummed unceasingly with the excitement.  It took all of his self-control to _not_ tackle Haru from behind and bury his grinning face into the back of Haru’s neck.

“Shiina-kun!!”  “Asahi!!” 

As Asahi stepped up to the block in black Team Japan jammers, their teammates cheered from the stands nearby, waving Japanese flags, while the loudest accolades were directed at the British team on their right, a sea of Union flags rippling across the natatorium.

The first shrill pulse of the whistle sent Rin’s heart racing.  He pressed his lips, inhaling a slow breath through his nose—filling his lungs with warm, chlorinated air as he tried to stay calm—

Haru, as if sensing his rising giddiness, glanced back at him, one brow arched above his goggles.

 _Ah, hell._   Why try?  Rin grinned, leveling his gaze at his lover.  The spark was electric, like countless races before, except amped up a thousand times over. 

The audience went quiet for the start, only to burst into thundering cheers as soon as the eight lead-off swimmers dove.  Asahi’s leg was solid—a new personal best for sure—and Sousuke hit the water third, just behind swimmers from Canada and France.  Haru had his clothes off in a flash, splashing water on himself from the bucket and resetting the wedge on the start block.

“Haru.”  They shared a look, not needing a single word, and Haru climbed up, setting his feet—

The exchange was clean, Haru sailing down the lane in pursuit of France and South Africa as Rin stripped down to his jammers.  Sousuke came out of the pool, raking off his cap and goggles, water dripping from his hair.  They fist-bumped as Sousuke caught his breath, the shine in green eyes betraying his emotions for the dream they’d had since the beginning.

Rin dried the block, stepping up as Haru surfaced from the turn, sprinting across the pool—

It wouldn’t be the same—if he were here without Haru, without his best friend, without his family.  In that moment, he understood like never before why Rome had left Haru wanting, why competing alone could feel so empty.

 _Because the best dreams are dreamed together_.

As Rin dove, locking eyes with Haru beneath him, he wasn’t at all surprised that even with thousands of spectators in the stands, he could still hear his dad, calling his name.

-x-

They took third place in heat one and eighth overall, just sneaking in to qualify for the final that night, where they shaved more than a second off their seed time against the world’s best freestyle swimmers for a fifth-place finish.  Rin wasn’t disappointed, anchoring and holding his own against the likes of Damien Andrews (who was kind of an ass, as it turned out) and Ethan McInnes (who was equivalently _not_ )—

_“This is him, aye?”  The Australian anchor smiled, clasping Rin’s hand for a firm handshake in final call.  “Haruka’s talked my ear off about you.  It’s a right pleasure, Rin.”_

_Rin grinned so hard he was probably lighting up the whole room.  “Please, the pleasure is mine!”_

Curfew was 10PM, when they were at least supposed to be quiet if not asleep, the four of them unwinding on the balcony of their Village apartment with hot herbal tea and their Team Japan terry cloth robes and slippers (because they could, damnit).

“We kicked ass today.”  Asahi held up his phone, snapping a selfie of them with the Village in the background.

“Coach Ryuuji said none of us would make it in the free,” Haru murmured, tucked against Rin’s side as they stood at the rail.

Rin chuckled, pressing a kiss to Haru’s hair.  As much as he wanted to shove their times in the guy’s face, he knew Haru’s coach would just find some other aspect of their performance to critique.  “Well, when you get tired of that guy’s motivational style…”  Haru’s transfer had gone through—they’d be going home _together_ , though they hadn’t figured out the living situation yet between the Academy in Kure and Hiroshima Air Station.  There was no rush.

“Mm.  I’m not sure my muscles are good enough for Coach Mikhail…”

“Hmph.  My sister approves and she’s even fussier.”

Haru smiled, tightening his arm around Rin’s waist.

Asahi’s phone chirped.  “Oh.”  The guy grinned and blushed, texting as he wandered back into the apartment with his paper cup caught in his teeth.

Sousuke leaned against the railing, braced on his forearms, his smile wistful.  “Remember, Rin?  When we used to race at Sano Elementary and pretend your dad was an Olympic official?”

“And we made medals with foil and jar lids and ribbon?”  Rin smiled fondly at the memory.  “I remember.  You usually won.”

“We tied a lot.”  Sousuke glanced down at the cup in his hands, turning it slowly between his palms.  “If you hadn’t gone to Iwatobi after I quit the relay and shown me what it was like to swim with the ultimate team, what I was missing…”  He trailed off, lifting his gaze, his green eyes soft and uncharacteristically vulnerable.  “I’m sorry I pushed you away back then, but I’m glad how things turned out.  I’m glad I never held you back.”

“Sousuke…”  Rin inhaled quietly.

Sousuke straightened, facing them squarely.  “I owe you both—for showing me what I’d never seen before.”

A hot lump formed in Rin’s throat; he couldn’t speak.

“We’re a team,” Haru said, lifting his head from Rin’s shoulder.  “No matter where we are, no matter what we’re doing.  The only thing we owe each other is ourselves.”

“Ah.”  Sousuke’s gaze warmed.  He held out his fist.  “For the team,” he said in English.

“For the team.”  Haru freed his hand.

Rin sniffed hard, glaring between the two.  _You’re just trying to make me cry!_   He added his fist, blinking back the sting in his eyes.  “ _For the team_ ,” he whispered, his voice labored.

They bumped fists and gripped hands tightly, Rin could almost feel the combined pulse of their heartbeats through their clasped hands.

Sousuke smiled as he eventually let go, his face relaxed.  “I’m gonna turn in.  Since I’ve got another early start tomorrow.”

“We won’t be loud,” Haru said.

“ _Oi_.”  Rin blushed hard.

Sousuke just chuckled, leaving them with a wave.  “‘Night.”

Rin snorted once they were alone, nudging Haru against the railing.  “Just what kind of mischief are you planning now?”

Haru fingered the edge of Rin’s robe, the red trim crossed over his chest.  “We’re not swimming in the morning…”

Heat blossomed in Rin’s limbs, having nothing to do with the tea.  “You’ve got the final tomorrow night,” he murmured, not protesting as Haru drew him in until their bodies were flush. 

“I’m not worried about that,” Haru whispered, capturing Rin’s lips.

Rin leaned into the kiss, humming his contentment, his encouragement.  “Bending the rule?”

“Just a little.”  The knot of Rin’s robe slipped free.

He was wearing underwear beneath, so he didn’t mind Haru’s hand slipping inside, palm grazing warm over his abdomen.  Rin finished his last swallow of tea, crumpling the paper cup into his pocket so he could play both hands across Haru’s chest, pressing his lover more firmly against the rail.  Their mouths found each other again, lips parting, the kiss tasting like sakura and salted plum tea.

Eventually, they needed to take this inside…  Rin’s eagerness was building as Haru’s thumb traced his hipbone, fingertips sneaking under the elastic of his underwear.  With a muffled groan, he found the belt of Haru’s robe and tugged, the knot unwinding.  As the panels of Haru’s robe fluttered open, Rin slid his hands inside—

Gasping, he drew back, jerking Haru’s robe closed.  “You’ve been naked under there this whole time?!”

Haru shrugged.  “What?  It’s a robe.”

Rin’s face was flaming as he pulled Haru into the apartment, shooting a glance at closed doors that could open at any second.  “We are _not_ having sex out here.”

Haru’s gaze sparkled, his smile sly.  “I wouldn’t have suggested anything too racy, Rin.”

“Nn.”  Rin quickly herded his fiancé down the hall and into their bathroom, flicking the lights on and locking the door.  “Haru, I swear—”

Haru cocked a brow, threading both hands into Rin’s hair.  “You swear what?”

The resulting shiver of pleasure rendered him wordless, Rin resorting to a growl as he ducked his head, pushing fabric aside and nipping lightly at Haru’s shoulder.  _I love you so damn much, that’s what._

Haru’s breath hitched in a gasp, their robes (and Rin’s underwear) pooling on the bathroom floor as Haru pulled him into the shower.

* * *

Tuesday, July 31st, 2012

* * *

“You’ll want to be within a half-second of your best time for a good chance at the semis.”  Coach Fujino studied their faces, lifting a brow.  “Ready, Nanase-kun, Matsuoka-kun?”

 _So ready_.  “Hai,” they answered in unison, standing side-by-side in their navy-blue tracksuits in Japan’s team area at the warmup pool.

Fujino smiled.  “Go get it done, Gentlemen.”

They bowed as he left and grabbed their gear, accompanied by team staff to the call room.

“Forty-eight and a half?” Haru asked, as they got in line for inspection.

“ _Tch_.”  Rin grinned.  “Don’t make it too easy, Haru.”

The men’s 100m freestyle was the first race of the day.  As the heats started, Rin and Haru hung out in the call room with Australian favorite, Ethan McInnes, and 101 pictures of his adorable one-year-old and three-year-old daughters.  There were cameras in the room, so Rin didn’t chance holding Haru’s hand, but with every shared glance, he knew they were thinking the same thing—dreaming of their future together, the family they’d have someday.

As the fifth heat headed out, London officials rattled off names for final call.  Rin zipped up his jacket, about to get up when Haru laid a hand on his shoulder and leaned towards his ear.

“Rin, you got this.”

 _You’re damn right, I got this._   Rin smiled, their swim caps making a squeaking sound as their foreheads touched.  “You too.”

Haru’s gaze warmed, Rin soaking it all in, carrying it with him as he got to his feet and followed the official into the next room.

-x-

In the sixth heat, Rin slapped the wall, third to finish, with a perfect 48.50.  Climbing from the pool, he waved to the crowds—to his loved ones in the stands—before gathering his things. 

He answered reporters’ questions in the Mixed Zone as he watched the live feed from the pool on the screen.  The seventh heat was underway, Haru and Ethan going at it in lanes seven and four, respectively.  Ethan’s speed was incredible—like the 4x100 free the other night—and seeing it up close was something else entirely.  But even better was Haru keeping pace with him—through the front fifty and the back half, the two finishing within 0.13 seconds of each other.  Ethan put up 48.36 in first place; Haru’s second place time was 48.49.

 _Show off._   Rin rocked back on his heels, smiling to himself with his hands tucked into the pockets of his warmup jacket.

“Matsuoka-senshu, care to comment on your teammate’s performance?”

“It’s a pretty incredible sight, isn’t it?”  He didn’t look away from the screen, the camera zooming in as Haru shook hands with Ethan over the lane line, the two exiting the pool together.

Rin lingered in the Mixed Zone until Haru appeared, his heart aflutter at the first glimpse of damp black hair and navy-blue warmups.  Haru met his gaze and smiled—if looks were PDA they would’ve been locked in each other’s arms, kissing and nuzzling and being completely ridiculous.  Rin had to settle for draping his arm over Haru’s shoulder as the press clamored in with questions…and the way Haru snuck an arm behind them, his palm warm against Rin’s back.

-x-

There were only four events that morning, the men’s 100m free, women’s 200m fly, men’s 200m breaststroke, and the men’s 4x200 free.  Hydrating in the Athletes’ Prep area, they watched Ozawa take first in the second heat of the women’s butterfly, fresh off a bronze medal finish in the 100m breaststroke Monday night.  (Japan won a total of three bronze medals Monday in back-to-back finals, starting with Isuzu in the women’s 100m backstroke, followed by Captain Hamada in the men’s 100m backstroke and Ozawa in the breaststroke.  There were pictures—so many pictures—of Isuzu and Gou posing together, making peace signs for the camera while Gou not so subtly held Isuzu’s deltoid.  Half of the pictures had a pouting Mikoshiba—usually Momo—photobombing in the background.)

Rin and Haru were back in the pool shortly after Ozawa’s race, practicing their exchanges with Natsuya for the 4x200 free while Ikuya and Ikehara were in the call room for the men’s 200m breaststroke.  The 200 free felt good—way better in the water than watching.  In Monday night’s final, Haru and Ikuya had taken fifth and seventh, respectively.

Haru hadn’t seemed disappointed in the slightest about missing out on a medal.  With the top three finishers going sub- _1:44_ , Rin couldn’t blame him.  But this relay was different—this relay was anyone’s game.

Japan had lane three in the first heat of the 4x200 free, which didn’t give Ikuya much of a break after the breaststroke, especially as the lead-off swimmer.  But they’d been drilling the stacked schedule for weeks at their coaches’ behest; Rin didn’t doubt they were ready.

From the call room, they watched Ikuya finish top in his heat, briefly waving to the audience before leaving the pool.  He arrived just as they headed into final call, still damp from warming down.

“Sorry I’m late,” Ikuya said, joining their huddle, arms draped across each other’s shoulders.

“You’re not late.”  Haru’s smile brought a pink flush to Ikuya’s cheeks and for the first time, Rin wasn’t jealous.

“Ready to show them what we’ve got?”  Natsuya’s brown eyes sparkled behind his goggles.

Rin grinned into their huddle, gripping Haru’s shoulder.  “Let’s do it.”  _Let’s show them a sight they’ve never seen before._

Haru’s eyes warmed—a knowing look that made Rin blush. 

_“Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome the athletes in the men’s four-by-two hundred meter freestyle relay, heat one—”_

“Should we do a cheer?”

“Saba on three.”

“Haru, no—”

…At the end of eight hundred meters, Haru touched first, a half-second ahead of the French team in lane four.  Rin was deaf from the cheering, hoarse from his own shouts as he helped Haru from the pool, wrapping his arms around wet shoulders and squeezing tight.

After heat two, it was official—they had second place overall and another relay to swim.

-x-

They napped hard in the hours leading up to their 6PM showtime, being meticulous with diet and shaving touch-ups.  Rest was the most important; Rin’s dad had shooed them away immediately when they came to visit, nearly ordering them to bed in his Officer voice.  They’d departed, laughing, after a round of hugs.

Rin slept blissfully in his future husband’s arms, the two of them nestled together beneath their Olympic comforters with the curtains drawn.  Waking from a good nap (and a mostly naked Haru) sucked like it always did during taper, but after a brief shower, Rin felt alert and recovered.  He dried his hair while Haru lingered under tepid spray, just about done when Haru shut off the water and climbed out of the tub.

There was suddenly a very wet fiancé hugging him from behind.

Rin groaned, setting the hairdryer aside.  “Haru, I was almost—”

“I love you.”  The words were pressed between his shoulder blades and Rin instantly forgot about the minor inconvenience of having to dry off a second time.

He turned in Haru’s arms, kissing damp lips, smoothing hair from Haru’s brow to set their foreheads together.  “I love _you_.”

Haru’s smile was everything.

-x-

With Haru, Ethan, and Damien Andrews all in heat two of the men’s 100m freestyle semi-finals, Rin had to hold his own in heat one.  Lane three waited in front of him, glistening blue like Haru’s eyes as he approached the block at the whistle. 

_“Show me a new personal best,” Coach Fujino said, before they headed to first call.  “A new national record would be nice, too.”  He winked as he issued the challenge._

Haru’s 48.49 this morning tied the Japanese record.  They’d both done better in practice and in relay splits; it was definitely time to show off.  Rin grinned as he set his feet, bending to grasp the edge of the block.  Haru would have the same lane in heat two…

_“Take your marks—”_

-x-

Rin took second place in his heat, his national record time of 48.19 lasting all of seven minutes before Haru put up 48.14 in heat two alongside Ethan and Damien (who both went sub-48).  They qualified for Wednesday’s final, fourth and sixth overall.

“Five hundredths, huh?”  Rin murmured the words between nips to his lover’s skin as he pressed Haru against the wall of the changing cubicle.

“Was it good for you too, Rin?”  Haru tilted his head with a sigh, giving Rin better access to his neck, his fingers buried in Rin’s hair.

“It was fucking amazing,” Rin said, his thumbs toying with the elastic band of Haru’s jammers.  _I wish I could show you._   They were still wet from the communal showers post warm-down and Rin wanted nothing more than to lift Haru against the wall…  But the rule, damnit, and it was only a matter of time before someone came looking for them for the 4x200 free.

“Nn.”  Haru arched against him as if reading his mind, his knee brushing the outside of Rin’s thigh.  “Can it be Saturday yet?”

Rin exhaled hard against Haru’s throat.  “Four more days, Haru.”

-x-

Sousuke just missed qualifying for the 200m fly final in last night’s semis, but three-time Olympian Sugiyama Noboru took bronze to Damien Andrew’s silver in the race.  In the subsequent semi-finals, Ozawa made Wednesday night’s final with a strong showing in the women’s 200m fly and both Ikuya and Ikehara qualified in the men’s 200m breaststroke.  Japan had no entrants in the final for the women’s 200IM, which was followed by the last race of the evening, the 4x200 free.

_“In lane five, representing Japan—”_

The four of them paused in front of the rippling blue screen bearing _Japan_ in yellow-gold letters, linked hands raised high to the cheers from the audience.  Rin grinned as applause and shouts of encouragement rained down on them, gripping Haru’s hand and hating to let go.  But they had to move on as the next team was announced behind them.

It was shy of 5AM at home, but that hadn’t stopped the influx of messages from friends and loved ones in Japan, as well as from Rin’s homestay parents in Australia, all of whom had watched their heat one, second place finish this morning.  Of course, the finals were a different beast with the top contenders switching to their star swimmers; Team Japan had no such luxury in freestyle events.  But Rin wasn’t intimidated—not by the crowds or the competition.  And if the thrill of the race wasn’t enough, the way Haru kept looking at him—at _him_ instead of at the water—was like _fireworks_ , endless possibilities, the rush of heat all the way to his toes—

They hadn’t even started swimming yet.

Rin grinned at his lover; Haru had the decency to blush for being caught staring, responding with a smile that made Rin feel so full he thought he would burst.

The rapid whistle sounded, the eight lead-off swimmers from China, Australia, France, United States, Japan, Germany, Great Britain, and South Africa taking the blocks.

“Ikuya!!”  “Kirishima-kun!!”  Their teammates shouted from the stands, midway down the pool.

“Ikuya.”  Natsuya had his arms folded, the confident smirk in his voice as well as on his face.

Ikuya glanced back and smiled before bending for the block—

The natatorium fell quiet (mostly)—

_“Take your marks.”_

Ikuya tensed…and dove at the buzzer, clean off the block and into the water.  He came up fast and on pace, as if he hadn’t just swum his heart out in the 200m breaststroke minutes before this.  The United States shot out to an early lead (no surprise) with South Africa, France, Australia, and Ikuya not far behind.  It felt like seconds—only heartbeats—before Natsuya was up on the block and Ikuya was sprinting for the wall.

“Ikuya!”  Haru gripped Rin’s sleeve just above the elbow; Rin leaned towards the pool, hands cupped around his mouth—

“Kirishima!”

The United States, in lane four, exchanged first, followed a second later by Australia, Germany, and Japan.

“Natsuya-senpai!” 

Natsuya surfaced to powerful pulls of free; he didn’t swim with the same delicate finesse as his brother, but he made up for it with wingspan.

Haru went to help Ikuya from the pool, the two hugging despite Haru still wearing his navy-blue tracksuit.

“Haru—”  Ikuya looked a little stunned as he caught his breath, his expression softening with a smile a second later.  They parted, Ikuya grabbing a towel.

Rin didn’t mind, sitting down to work off his shoes, stripping off his warmups.  As Natsuya entered his third fifty, Rin adjusted and dried the block, swinging his arms to keep loose—

“Rin.”

He glanced back, the meter separating them might as well have been nothing for all he saw in Haru’s eyes—the hopes, dreams, and longings—and the smile that belonged to him alone.

 _Show me_ , Haru mouthed.

Rin grinned slyly in response. _Watch this, Haru._   He climbed onto the lane five block, smoothing a wrinkle from his swim cap before bending forward, arms at his sides and ready.

“Aniki!!”  “Kirishima-senpai!”  “Natsuya-kun!!”

The United States still had the lead, Germany, Australia, and Japan all charging for the wall at the same time.  Rin measured his breaths, focused on Natsuya’s stroke, his reach—

 _There—_   He dove over top, stretching into streamline—

“Rin!”  “Matsuoka!” 

“ _Rin!!_ ”  His father’s voice was the last he heard before slipping into the cool, quiet world underwater. 

Rin dolphin-kicked to fifteen meters, getting a look at the competition to either side before he pierced the surface and went to stroke.  It felt effortless today, each plunge of his hand propelling him forward, the meters piling up behind him.  This was what it felt like to swim with a team—the ultimate team.  His dad had talked about it for as long as Rin could remember—the way the best teams worked together, encouraged one another, had each other’s backs no matter what happened—how they were unstoppable.

Rin managed to pace himself for the first hundred—like Coach Mikhail drilled into him—but as soon as his feet touched the wall for the second time, he let loose, sprinting with everything he had left, giving his all for the team.  The cheering was deafening during his final fifty, he was well ahead of the German swimmer on his left and the French swimmer two lanes to his right, and _Haru was on the block waiting for him_ —

Rin slapped tile, Haru diving over him—  Their eyes locked, Rin too breathless to do anything but cling to the wall and grin.  There was no mistaking the spark in Haru’s eyes.

“Nanase-kun!!”  “Haruka!!”

Haru slipped into the water, flying down the lane.

“Matsuoka.”  Natsuya reached down for him, Rin accepting the offered hand and climbing out. 

Raking off his cap and goggles, he glanced at the board—

 _Holy shit._   5:18?  Their time had _never_ been that low going to anchor.  Haru was second into the water, sailing towards the opposite end of the pool with the best freestylers in the world giving chase—

“You’ve been holding out on us.”  Natsuya draped a damp arm across Rin’s shoulders, winking at him. 

Speechless, Rin could only shake his head, fighting for breath as Haru entered the first turn.  Damien Andrews was lengths ahead of the pack for Team USA with a gold medal basically assured, Haru battling it out with France, Germany, Ethan McInnes from Australia, and China.  Water dripped from Rin’s hair, his heart pounding as he watched, his swim cap and goggles crushed in his hand.  The crowd was on their feet, thunderous cheers aimed at the pool, buffeting Rin’s ears.

As Haru came in for the wall with one hundred meters to go, Rin finally found his voice—

“Haru!!”

Haru flipped into the turn, water splashing the wall as he shoved off and submerged.  He came up to a sprint to match the French anchor—last night’s gold medalist in the individual 200m free.  The two were dead even, racing at impossible speeds into the final turn, where the French anchor just edged ahead—

Rin hardly breathed at all during the last fifty, Natsuya gripping his shoulder and leaning against his back.  He wasn’t sure when he’d grabbed Ikuya’s hand, or if Ikuya had grabbed first, but they were squeezing each other’s hands so tightly Rin’s fingers were going numb. 

“Haruka!”  _“Haru!!”_

Rin was deaf from his own shouting and the noise from the stands, not daring to blink—

Damien hit first, the United States taking gold.  Three seconds later, France hit for silver, _one stroke ahead of Haru_.  No one else was even close, tears filling Rin’s eyes and spilling down his cheeks amidst all the excited screaming as Haru held onto the wall, breathing hard in the pool below him. 

_Haru—_

Haru twisted in the water, towards him, even though Rin couldn’t get a sound past the lump in his throat.  He didn’t trust himself to help Haru out of the pool; Natsuya and Ikuya had to do it.  Then Haru was there, in the crush of Rin’s arms, and he could only sob into wet, black hair, Haru’s breathless smile pressed to his ear.

An Olympic medal was theirs.

-x-

_“Mesdames et Messieurs, les médaillés de bronze, représentant le Japon.” “Ladies and Gentlemen, the bronze medalists, representing Japan—”_

They stepped up together in their navy-blue tracksuits, hands linked and lifted to the sky as the crowd cheered.  The natatorium had emptied out a little, giving their families the opportunity to come down to the rail.  There wasn’t a dry eye among their loved ones, Japanese flags waving from hands that clutched tissues and Rin fought to keep himself from crying again.  Officials in purple and gold came forward, bearing their medals on a presentation tray, laid out in a row.

Rin ducked his head when it was his turn, allowing the IOC Member to slip the purple lanyard over his head, shaking hands before he straightened, the bronze medal hanging weighty from his neck.  Bouquets were next—colorful roses from the FINA Member—then photographers were motioning them together for pictures.  Rin posed with his arm around Haru’s shoulders (and Natsuya’s draped across his), Haru’s arm curled around his waist as they presented their medals to countless camera flashes.

The silver and gold medals were passed out, the _Star-Spangled Banner_ playing for the umpteenth time as the flags of the United States, France, and Japan were raised.  Rin, Haru, Natsuya, and Ikuya were led out first for their victory lap around the pool, in front of the media, their family, teammates, and fans.

Damien and his United States team garnered most of the attention, but Rin didn’t care.  He wanted to remember the moment forever, lingering for each photo, waving to everyone who’d cheered them on. 

When they got to their families, all four of them exchanged smiles before climbing into the team area and up to the railing.

“Rin!!”  “Onii-chan!!”  His mother and Gou smothered him with hugs and kisses, Rin kissing them back and getting a quick squeeze from his dad.  He gave his mom the bouquet, returning to the pool deck before the officials got too antsy.

For the rest of the lap, he walked with his arm slung across Haru’s shoulders.

-x-

The press conference and JOC/JASF interviews dragged on and on.  It felt like forever before they were _finally_ released from official obligations and allowed to mingle with their loved ones.

Rin took off his medal, slipping the purple _London 2012_ lanyard over his father’s head.  “It’s only bronze, but—”

“Only bronze?”  Toraichi chuckled, not once looking at the medal—the symbol of the dream he’d strived for but never achieved.  His eyes were moist, fixed on Rin alone, as he reached out and mussed Rin’s hair like he always used to.  “Son, you’ve been gold to me since the moment you were born.”

 _Dad—_   Rin’s vision blurred with tears that were impossible to hold back.  They slipped down his cheeks as he caught his father in a hug and refused to let go.  Toraichi’s strong arms enfolded him, holding him tight—  It didn’t matter that Rin was all grown up, an Olympic medalist at twenty-one; the feeling of his father’s arms was the same now as when he’d been five years old, with homemade foil medals and big dreams.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tora's line was inspired by [Jem's](https://archiveofourown.org/users/JemTheKingOfSass/pseuds/JemTheKingOfSass) beautiful fic, _[The Only Gold Medal He Wanted](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14132265)_  
>  (go read it and cry with me) *sobs*
> 
> [Team Japan travel outfits](http://livedoor.blogimg.jp/tobiuojapan/imgs/e/f/ef6ccfe0.jpg)  
> [Track suits (and medal and bouquet)](http://livedoor.blogimg.jp/tobiuojapan/imgs/8/3/83504a04.jpg)  
> [The robes](http://livedoor.blogimg.jp/tobiuojapan/imgs/a/7/a7056492.jpg)
> 
> [London Opening Ceremonies](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4As0e4de-rI); Japan's entrance at [2:16:13](https://youtu.be/4As0e4de-rI?t=8173); Cauldron & Fireworks at [2:43:59](https://youtu.be/4As0e4de-rI?t=13439)
> 
> All of the evening semis/finals are also on YouTube (I took creative liberties where it suited me) XD  
> [Day 1](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M4oHbdtJJ9M), [Day 2](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fKaLhhPXy0g), [Day 3](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mRCEjxWHn-w), [Day 4](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LssoW-yYqTE)


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Adult/nsfw content

* * *

_Early July, 2012 – Tenerife_

* * *

_The Atlantic was a shade of turquoise Rin had never seen before, glistening in the bright morning sunlight under clear skies, with frothy white surf fanning out across black sand and lava rocks.  They were supposed to be using the hours to rest, to recuperate from jetlag before practice, but no one wanted to sit still after nineteen hours of travel and their late arrival last night.  Their teammates were split between lounging on the beach to work on their tans and running into the waves, splashing each other and squealing._

_Rin’s steps were slower, paced by Haru’s and the reflection of the sea in blue eyes.  It was already hot, with a decent wind blowing from the north to whip through their hair and tug at their boardshorts.  The others let them be, which was what they wanted, what Haru needed.  Haru’s steps across the sand were slow but determined—not the sprint Rin remembered.  It had almost been two years since he’d last seen Haru run to the ocean like that._

_They got down to wet sand, Haru gripping Rin’s hand, drawing a deep breath before pressing on.  The sun cast their shadows in front of them—two figures, linked together—as they reached the crashing surf.  Rin was calm (at least outwardly) because he had to be, but he wasn’t fully breathing, his heart thudding in his chest.  Because, for Haru, coming back to the sea was an intimacy that meant forgiveness, that meant letting go of anger and his fears.  It was part of the journey that Rin couldn’t rush.  He could only hope; he could only believe.  Even then, sometimes he wasn’t good at keeping it all inside._

_A larger wave crashed in front of them—that was when Haru stopped, Rin with him.  Rin’s bare feet sank into coarse sand; he felt the way Haru braced as the shimmering foam raced towards them—_

_Rin gasped quietly as the surf splashed their feet, circling their ankles.  He wasn’t expecting the ocean to feel like bathwater, wholly lacking the bite of cold he was used to in the Pacific._

_At Haru’s rough exhale, Rin glanced over—_

_Haru’s eyes glistened with emotion, his lips pressed as he met Rin’s gaze.  “It’s warm,” he whispered and everything about him seemed to soften and lighten, from his face and shoulders to the clasp of their hands._

_“Haru…”  The name slipped out; it was all Rin could do to stay still, watching as Haru once more cast his gaze to the turquoise sea, looking freer than Rin had seen in months.  He sniffed hard, facing the endless blue horizon to gather himself as the receding wave pulled at his feet, eroding the sand beneath his toes._

_It was minutes and several more gentle waves before Haru spoke again._

_“Remember the summer I visited you and your family in Yokohama?  When we went to the beach every day and swam for hours.”_

_Rin smiled as the memories came to him.  “Of course I remember.”_

_“I miss that,” Haru whispered.  “Like I miss the way we raced in Yonago…”_

_A hot lump formed in Rin’s throat.  He swallowed around it, squeezing Haru’s hand.  “When you’re ready, Haru.”_

_“Mm.”  The warmth in Haru’s hum tugged on Rin’s heart.  Haru was smiling, gazing at him.  “Rin, with you, I feel like I can do anything.”_

_Rin’s lungs emptied, his eyes burning, and he couldn’t blame it on the salty, ocean air.  He couldn’t hold back anymore, either, tackling his beloved with a hug, pressing his face to Haru’s hair.  Words failed him—again.  He was too overwhelmed to speak and even then, ‘I love you’ seemed wholly inadequate to describe the feelings exploding inside him._

_Haru leaned into him, face tucked against Rin’s neck, arms loosely circling his shoulders.  As the surf swirled around their ankles, he relaxed more and more, letting Rin support his weight, his sigh warm against Rin’s skin._

_Rin blinked back happy tears, steeped in Haru’s trust, in the weighty and blessed privilege of caring for the one he loved—just like a husband should._

* * *

Wednesday, August 1st, 2012

* * *

_“Why are you calling me?”_   Commander Mayeda didn’t exactly sound annoyed, but…

Rin leaned closer to the phone, sandwiched between Haru and Sousuke on the couch.  Haru’s laptop screen—beside Rin’s phone on the coffee table—showed JMA satellite imagery of the whirling cyclone currently engulfing the East China Sea.  The tropical depression—now upgraded to a storm—had a high likelihood of strengthening into a full typhoon within twenty-four hours, if not sooner, according to the Japan Meteorological Agency and the Joint Typhoon Warning Center.

“We were checking the meteorological reports, since we stopped getting the emails—”

_“Yes, you’re on leave from active duty.”_

Rin inhaled, his hands curled against his knees.  “It just seems like—”

_“Like what, Cadet Matsuoka?  Allowing that you and Cadet Yamazaki are at the top of your class and that all three of you are excellent pilots, I believe we were quite clear regarding recall criteria during your absence.”_

Rin pressed his lips.  “Yes, ma’am.”

Sousuke, next to him, gave him a look like, _You knew exactly how this was going to go._

 _Tch._   Rin exhaled through his nose, averting his gaze.

Mayeda’s voice softened through the phone.  _“I know it’s hard to be away, especially when typhoon season is picking up.  Things aren’t easy here—I won’t sugarcoat that—but I need you to trust our decision.  This isn’t the first round for any of us, and we’re not talking anything like last year.”_

“Hai.”  That was true and Rin knew it to his core.  _Still._   Haru reached for his hand, Rin wordlessly giving his own.  Haru’s palm was warm against his, their grip firm.

_“Maybe you haven’t realized the effect you’re having.”_

“I beg your pardon?”

_“Since the Olympics started, your names have come up constantly in breakroom conversations.  The TVs are always tuned to Olympic coverage.  I had to modify the training schedule because neither the cadets nor the instructors were getting any sleep watching your races in the middle of the night.”_

Rin blinked.  _Wait, what?_

_“We’ve got a record number of applicants wanting to take the rescue swimming qualification test.  I even hear race results relayed over comms.”_

He sat back against the cushions, her words slowly sinking in.

_“Don’t discount what you’re doing right now.  Morale is half the battle in times like these.”_

Rin swallowed hard.  “Hai.”  Haru squeezed his hand, Sousuke leaning a comforting arm on his left shoulder.

Mayeda cleared her throat, her voice back to business.  _“Now, I would guess you have somewhere you need to be.”_

“Yes, ma’am.”

 _“Best of luck, Captains.”_   Mayeda paused.  _“Also, Matsuoka and Nanase—congratulations.”_

Rin smiled.  “Thank you.  It was a tough race last night, but—”

_“Yes, about the race as well, but mostly with regards to your upcoming wedding.”_

Rin choked on his own saliva.  “I, er—”

_“Officer Matsuoka sent a memo to several senior staff.”_

_Dad!_   Rin’s face caught fire, Sousuke humming in amusement while Haru just smiled.

_“Vancouver is a beautiful port city, especially in spring.”_

Resigned to his fate, Rin leaned against Haru and let his cheeks burn.  “Hai,” he said.

-x-

It was a busy morning of heats—Rin and Haru didn’t swim but several of their teammates raced and qualified in the women’s 100m free, men’s 200m backstroke, women’s 200m breaststroke, men’s 200m IM, and the women’s 4x200m free relay, while Rin, Haru, and the others cheered from the stands.  Just past noon, they spent an hour in the warmup pool for final adjustments before Head Coach Fujino and Coach Maekawa sent them off for lunch and rest.  The men’s 100m free final was tonight. 

Rin barely slept at all—too eager, too excited—listening to music and catching up on messages while Haru napped, pressed warmly to his side. 

_[Good luck, Matsuoka-senpai!]_

_[Hey, thanks!  See you back in class in a couple weeks.]_

For once, he didn’t feel like he had anything to prove—not even to himself.  It might have taken a long time, but he could finally believe that he was _enough_ , just the way he was, like Haru said—Haru and Rin’s dad and their Coast Guard superiors, too. 

It was freeing in ways he never thought possible.  Rin couldn’t wait for their coming race.  He wanted to enjoy every second, every moment—swimming with the one who had shown him so many sights he’d never seen before, who had unlocked his _heart_ and shown him who he was inside.

—Ever since that very first 100m free.

Said swimmer—fiancé, lover, partner, and soulmate—also happened to have the most _adorable_ sleeping face.  Rin angled his phone with a sly smile, snapping a selfie he would never, ever tell Haru about.

-x-

In the first final of the evening, Ikuya out-touched Olympic veteran Ikehara by less than a tenth, earning a bronze medal in the men’s 200m breaststroke.  He looked a little stunned on the screen—as Rin and Haru watched from the Athletes’ Prep area—clinging to the wall in lane one.  There was a warm smile on Ikehara’s face as he reached over the line from lane two.  Whatever Ikehara said was lost amidst the cheering as they shook hands, but Ikuya’s eyes began to gleam, his cheeks stained with emotion.  He nodded, swiping away the tears as Ikehara let go, and finally started to wave with a bright smile—

The feed switched back to the gold and silver medalists—from Hungary and Great Britain, respectively—and Rin returned to his sports drink.

They missed the semis during warmups, but they watched from the final call room—lined up against the wall in lane order—as Ozawa won a bronze medal in the women’s 200m butterfly.

“Hey, Haru.”  They were side-by-side in their navy-blue tracksuits and black swim caps, replays of the women’s race on the screen.  Rin glanced sidelong at his lover.  “If I beat you, do I get your anchor slot in the medley final, Saturday?”

“Keep dreaming, Rin.”  Haru shifted to face him, the challenge sparkling in his eyes.  “You’ll swim anchor for me in the prelim, and you’ll like it.”

Rin fought a grin.  “I will like it.”  He braced his arm against the wall above them, leaning his body well into Haru’s personal space.  With their faces centimeters apart, Rin lowered his voice, deliberately dropping his gaze to Haru’s mouth.  “I’m gonna make you so jealous of the water.”

Haru’s eyes darkened a shade or two, just starting to simmer, his lips parting around a quiet inhale.

In Tenerife, Coach Fujino announced his intention to rest Team Japan’s top talent for the medley finals.  For the men, that was three-time Olympians Captain Hamada and Sugiyama, two-time Olympian Ikehara…and Haru.  Little upsets like Ikuya’s win by eight hundredths in the 200m breaststroke weren’t enough to unseat the Beijing medalists, but it showed that Fujino’s confidence in them wasn’t misplaced.  As glorious as it would’ve been to anchor the medley final, Rin wanted to watch _Haru_ swim it so badly he could already taste it.

He _needed_ to cheer Haru on like he hadn’t been able to do in Rome; he wanted to be _right there_ for Haru when he got out of the pool.  He needed to validate Haru’s dream just like Haru had always validated his.

But the look in Haru’s eyes was worth every bit of the tease.

_“Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome the finalists in the men’s one hundred meter freestyle.  In lane one, representing Canada—”_

“Mr. Nanase?”  There were two officials—one by the door metering them out at the announcer’s call, and the one with a headset and clipboard who’d spoken, making sure they were ready.

Haru exhaled.  “Ah.”  Lowering his goggles over his eyes, he turned around, moving up in line behind Damien Andrews.

Rin pressed his lips to keep from smiling too hard.

_“In lane two, representing Brazil—”_

Ethan McInnes from Australia had top seed in lane four, while American favorite Damien Andrews had second seed in lane five.

Haru stepped into the glowing doorway as the cheering and cowbell finally died down.

_“In lane six, representing Japan—Haruka Nanase.”_

Rin held back, goggles in place, waiting his turn.

_“In lane seven, representing Japan—Rin Matsuoka.”_

At the official’s nod, Rin walked out in front of the screen that bore his name, waving to their families in the stands as well as their teammates and supporters before taking his place in the lane next to Haru.

Their eyes locked before they started into their prep; Rin couldn’t help a grin, soaking in the eagerness in Haru’s gaze.  Despite his excitement, at his core he was centered and relaxed with the rightness of this moment—that he was exactly where he was supposed to be.  No matter what happened on the scoreboard, this Olympic race—beside the one he loved—was a treasure, a dream come true, that no one could take away from them.

He’d probably spend the next ten years talking about it, just like the first one.  His dad used to recount races as bedtime stories, with Rin wide-eyed and breathless from the starting dive until the wall.  Someday, he’d do the same with their kids—

 _Damn.  Rein it in, Matsuoka._ Rin drew a deep breath to keep himself together.  _One thing at a time._  

Haru cocked a brow in question and Rin shook his head.

_I’ll tell you after._

Reading him as well as always, Haru nodded.  In unison, with matching smiles, they started undressing.

Rin moved the wedge and dried the lane seven block, making one last adjustment to his Team Japan jammers at the knees as the four-pulse whistle sounded.  The crowd thundered all around them, Rin perching one foot on the block with Haru on his left and a French swimmer on his right.  At the long whistle, he climbed up and set his feet, glancing over—

Haru met his gaze, the look electric, the smile contagious as they bent to grasp the edge—

_“Take your marks.”_

Rin tensed, waiting without breathing in the sudden quiet, focused on the water, feeling Haru beside him—

At the start, he sprung off the block, fast and clean, stretching into streamline and slicing into the water.  Haru was right next to him, even slightly ahead as they dolphin-kicked underwater, aiming for the fifteen meter mark.

They surfaced together, sprinting the moment they went to stroke, flying across the pool.  Rin was _aware_ of the competition on his right—the French anchor and 200m free gold medalist—but he was breathing towards Haru, matching his lover stroke for stroke as they pushed and teased and urged each other onward. 

The wall was already there—they flipped at the same time, springing off and accelerating underwater.  Rin caught a glimpse of the pack—all eight of them tightly clustered with Damien Andrews and the far swimmers in lanes one and two just a smidge ahead.  He broke through, even with Haru, breathing to his right as the cheering got louder and louder.

Rin had never swum a hundred this hard, his lungs burning and muscles screaming as they amped it up, trading off as they sped past the midpoint.  He wasn’t tired, giving his all and then some because Haru deserved nothing less.  Every time Haru slipped ahead, Rin found strength he didn’t know he had, pulling even and then some.  _Match, pull, breathe, repeat—_

The finish was just ahead.  With one last lock of eyes, Rin went breathless, keeping his head down as the meters vanished behind them, knowing Haru was right there—  He reached for the wall, slapping tile and popping up to breathe as a wave of water broke across his shoulders.

By the amount of cowbell and the celebration in lane five, it was obvious who had won.  Rin wasn’t bothered, swimming to the line and hooking his arms over red plastic.  He pulled off both caps, tugging his goggles down to his throat and wiping the water from his face…just in time to get sprinkled by fresh droplets as Haru shook the water from his hair.

Rin grinned as Haru came to him, as they looped arms around each other’s shoulders, breathing hard as they finally looked at the board.  Damien had taken first, Ethan second, and the Canadian swimmer third.  They’d _tied_ for fourth place at 47.82, a couple hundredths behind the medalists, against the best in the world.

Maybe he should’ve been disappointed, but he wasn’t, tightening his arms as he leaned his forehead against Haru’s.  He was only hungry for more.

“We have to swim this again, Rin,” Haru said between breaths.

“Damn right.”  _You read my mind._

Haru drew back just enough for Rin to see the warmth and pleasure in his eyes.  “What were you thinking about, earlier?”

“Huh?  Oh.”  Rin blushed, shifting his arms atop the plastic line.  “I was thinking…I can’t wait to tell our kids about this race someday.”  _That sometimes, the only thing standing between you and a dream is the decision to try._

Haru’s eyes blew wide…and softened to gleaming, as blue as the water.  “ _Rin_ —”

He was pushed back, dunked under as Haru came over the line.  Rin surfaced sputtering and laughing, wiping water from his face as best he could with Haru in his arms.  “Haru!”

“I love you.”  Haru nuzzled his ear.  “We have to get out of the pool before I kiss you on international TV.”

Rin’s heart was full as they separated, the look they shared probably louder than a kiss would’ve been as they swam to the side of the pool and climbed out together.

“Rin!!”  “Haruka!!”  “Onii-chan!!  Haru-nii!!”

They paused to wave at their families before following the officials from the pool and into the Mixed Zone.

Even without a medal, they had—shared—a new Japanese record and the press peppered them with a zillion questions (damnit).  At least Rin could fake it and Haru was as succinct as always.

As soon as they found a private spot, away from the cameras, they were locked in each other’s arms, kissing, sighing—stealing precious minutes alone.

It was a little while, though not _terribly_ long, before they finally returned—hand-in-hand—to the warm up area (with reddened lips and dreamy looks on their faces, probably).  Coach Maekawa didn’t say anything, pointing them to the pool, though Rin could’ve sworn she was smiling as she turned away.

* * *

Friday, August 3rd, 2012

* * *

_In retrospect, resting Haru for two and a half days—i.e. not letting Haru swim other than very directed practice sessions—was maybe not their coaches’ best idea.  Thursday wasn’t too bad—Rin had the 100m butterfly and at least in the morning, it had just been Haru’s pool eyes and a fair bit of kissing.  Thursday night, however…  Rin wasn’t exactly one to complain about Haru shoving him into a changing cubical after the semis for a serious make out session, except that there wasn’t enough cold water in the world to combat Haru’s aggressive nuzzling, breathing him in, and attacking his chlorine-scented skin.  (So much for making Haru jealous of the water.)_

_They were both committed to maintaining their celibacy until after the medley final Saturday night (after all, if Rin fucked up the prelim too badly, there wouldn’t be a final).  What they failed to account for was their propensity to make rather poor decisions when nudity was involved._

Like now.  Despite the freezing shower water, Rin couldn’t _will_ his body not to respond to Haru’s eager kisses, or slick skin gliding across his own.  They hadn’t even _bent_ the rule since Sunday and this morning was the absolute worst time to be flirting with his tenuous self-control…but there was all hard muscle beneath Rin’s hands, their sighs filling the small bathroom as they moved against each other—

 _Damnit, damnit, damnit._   “Haru.”  At his limit, the name came out in a hiss, Rin giving his fiancé a reluctant shove.

Haru drew back, immediately putting space between them, the water plastering shards of black hair to his face.  He was in no better state than Rin, looking sheepish as their breath misted in the cold shower.  “Sorry.”

Rin shook his head, leaning in to brush their bluish lips together chastely.  “Don’t you dare apologize.”  _I want you so fucking bad._

He left Haru in the freezing cold shower, drying off and dressing and heading out into the main room where the TV was.  There was always Olympic coverage on—like replays of Thursday’s cycling events on the track, Rin scrubbing his hair with a towel as he waited to calm down.

Sousuke found him there, eyeing his wet hair and certainly noticing the temperature drop before he took a seat on the couch.  “I’m not sure risking hypothermia is the lesser evil.”

“Yeah, I’ve thought about it.”  Rin left the towel draped over his head.  “It’s just one more day.  And a half.”  Between the heats and finals, Haru and the rest of the medley final team would have a short practice, so Haru would get at least a little pool time today.

“Suit yourselves.”  Sousuke shrugged.  “But if you two really start freezing your balls off, I reserve the right to intervene.”

Rin arched a brow.  “Intervene how?”

“Like hiding your clothes and locking both of you in your room until you sort it out.”

Rin snorted, holding up a fist.  “Because what are best friends for?” 

“Exactly.”  Sousuke bumped their knuckles together.

-x-

The medley heats were the final events of the morning, following freestyle heats for the women’s 50m and the men’s 1500m.  The Japanese women’s team, in heat two of the medley, brought home a second-place finish behind Australia and ahead of power teams from Denmark, the United States, and Great Britain.  Rin watched the race from the call room with the rest of the men’s prelim medley team—Hiyori, Ikuya, and Sousuke.  Momo and Asahi had also been considered for the backstroke and butterfly legs, respectively, but timing and consistency (which Momo sometimes struggled with) had gone to Hiyori and Sousuke.

They’d practiced their exchanges for the final time during warmups; the team was solid.  This was their time to shine—to show the world, their coaches, their teammates—

“Let’s show the A-team what they’re missing,” Rin said with a grin, the four of them huddled up in final call.

“No cheesy ‘ _For the team’_ speech, huh?”  Sousuke jabbed Rin fondly in the ribs.

Rin winked back.  “Not today.”

Hiyori shrugged.  “Well, I don’t plan on only swimming prelims forever.”

Ikuya studied Rin for a moment, silently, like Haru would have.  He glanced at Sousuke.  “He’s all aggro because he’s not getting—?”

“Oi!”  Rin’s face burned.

Sousuke nodded.  “Yup.”

 _Damnit._   Glaring at his best friend earned Rin nothing but an easy smile and a look that needed no translation.

_You know you are, Rin._

With a sigh, Rin hung his head.  “Ugh, it’s true.  I’m just trying not to fuck up today.”

Ikuya squeezed his shoulder.  “Don’t worry, Matsuoka, we’ve got your back.  We won’t let you be, uh…”  He paused, as if searching for a word, then coughed, blushing a little.  “…cockblocked.”

“Ikuya, you’re too young and pure to use such unsavory language,” Hiyori said.

“I am not!”  Ikuya flushed bright red.

“I think your brother would agree with me.”

“Don’t bring him into this!”

_“Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the athletes in the men’s four-by-one hundred meter medley, heat two—”_

On that note, the Japanese men’s relay team lined up and headed out to the pool.

They had lane three between New Zealand in lane two and the United States’ B-team in lane four.  Haru was in the stands with their teammates, sitting with Takara and Asahi.  He seemed calmer than this morning anyway, as their gazes locked across the pool, but Rin didn’t doubt he’d get pounced later.  (And because he was equally to blame in their predicament, he tugged on the collar of his warmup jacket with a sly grin, just to make Haru glare at him.)

At the long whistle, Hiyori and the other lead-off swimmers jumped into the pool, climbing up to the backstroke holds.

“Hiyori!!”  “Tōno-kun!!”

A brief hush settled over the natatorium as the starter raised the signal gun, Rin holding his breath by reflex.

_“Take your marks.”_

The buzzer sounded, eight swimmers diving backwards into the pool amidst a surge of cheering from the crowd.  Hiyori surfaced at fifteen meters with smooth strokes—rapid yet precise—on pace and right up with the American backstroke swimmer in the lane next to him.  Great Britain had taken heat one, followed closely by Australia and the Netherlands.  But it was the United States that still had standing World and Olympic records from Rome and Beijing, respectively.

The Hungarian swimmer in lane six pulled ahead, first to the turn with a half-second lead on the rest of the pack.  Hiyori flipped over and submerged, the board putting Japan fourth, tied with Germany, just behind the United States and France.

Ikuya took the block, pressing his goggles into place and leaning in, ready.  Hiyori sprinted hard for the back fifty, passing Germany, Hungary, and France, right up with the American swimmer as he twisted onto his stomach and stretched for the wall—

Japan and the United States dove at the same time—

“Ikuya!!”  “Kirishima!!”

Ikuya went out _fast_.  His freestyle and IM were great, but his breaststroke was incredible as he sailed down the lane, quickly overtaking everyone else in the pool.

“Ever think we’d be doing this, Rin?” Sousuke asked, glancing over his shoulder as he reset the wedge on the lane three block.

 _Swimming an Olympic medley relay?_   Rin cocked a brow, smiling.  “You’re the one who should answer that.”

Sousuke smiled back, a decade of warmth, rivalry, and teamwork in his eyes.  They bumped fists and he stepped up to the block.

“Nice, Tōno-kun.”  Rin handed Hiyori a towel before stripping off his warmups. 

“Thank you,” Hiyori said, accepting the towel almost absently, his attention fully on Ikuya’s final strokes to the wall—

Sousuke dove first, ahead of the United States and New Zealand, Rin cupping his hands around his mouth.

“Sousuke!!”

“Yamazaki-kun!!”  “Sousuke!!” 

As Hiyori helped Ikuya from the pool, Rin dried the block and double-checked the seal on his goggles.  He waited, watching Sousuke’s familiar strokes of fly—all raw power—battling against the swimmers nibbling at Japan’s lead on his right and left.  _We’ve come a long way since that first Sano Elementary relay._

Rin grinned and climbed up, setting his feet just so.  He could feel Haru’s gaze, even from a distance, though he didn’t dare break his concentration now.

The American butterfly swimmer in lane four drew even with Sousuke at the two-handed touch, going into the turn, and took the lead during the second fifty.  Rin kept his eyes forward, leaning in with slow, measured breaths—gauging, timing—as Sousuke charged across the pool to the wall—

He started his dive as Sousuke stretched for the timing board, his feet leaving the block just after the touch.

“Rin!!”  Haru’s voice followed him to the water, mixed with cheers from their families and teammates.

There was no one but the American anchor in front of him.  Rin had some time to make up and—even against the United States’ B-team—he didn’t expect to have it easy.  It was a sprint every bit as hard as Wednesday night; even though Haru wasn’t in the pool with him, Haru was waiting.  Their team was counting on him to pull through—nothing less than his best was good enough.

He caught up with the American anchor’s feet by the turn, battled his way up to the guy’s waist with twenty-five meters left to go.  With deafening cheers raining down on them, Rin amped it up, pushing through the burn in his lungs and muscles until he could slam his hand home at the wall—

Amidst excited screaming, Rin raked off his caps and goggles, twisting for the board as his teammates reached down to slap his shoulders.

The United States had taken first, Japan second, Germany third.  The overall ranking after both heats flashed up—Japan was third seed, officially headed to the medley final.

Rin grinned around hard breaths, glancing at the stands—

Haru was there, on his feet and gripping the rail, his lips forming Rin’s name.

Rin’s grin broadened as he soaked in Haru’s sparkling eyes and winked.  _Your turn, babe._

-x-

Haru was there when he got back to the warmup pool, already stripped down to a pair of black and red Team Japan square legs that Rin was particularly fond of.

“Rin—”

Haru’s arms circled his shoulders tightly; despite the lack of cameras, Rin was still surprised by the kiss planted right on his lips.  He blushed but didn’t pull away, not until Haru released him.

“That was…”  Haru trailed off, his brow furrowed as he sought after words that apparently didn’t come.  Rin could read it all in his eyes though.

“Not bad for the B-team, huh?” Rin said, settling his hands on Haru’s waist, lightly gripping his lover’s obliques.  Haru’s skin was so tantalizingly _warm_ beneath his palms, unlike their frigid shower this morning.

“You’re not the B-team to me, Rin,” Haru murmured, burying his hands in Rin’s hair and pressing his face to Rin’s neck.

The heat in Rin’s face doubled.  “Stop smelling me.”

“I can’t.  You smell amazing.”

“ _Haru_.”

Haru finally relented, letting go and stepping back.

Rin rubbed the back of his neck, glancing down Haru’s mostly-naked frame (which didn’t help the heat burning in his cheeks, really).  “You’ve got practice, yeah?”

“Maekawa said I could start warm ups early.”  Haru’s eyes shimmered. 

“So why aren’t you in the pool?”

Haru’s brow knit in adorable confusion.

“In the _water_?”  Rin lifted a brow.

“Oh.”  Haru smiled.  “There’s water and then there’s _water_ , Rin.”  He grabbed Rin’s hand, tugging him towards the pool as Rin’s heart did all sorts of flips in his chest.

-x-

Rin stayed during Haru’s practice (technically, as alternates, he and the others weren’t off the hook yet, though it would take something pretty dramatic to upend the Olympic veterans).  He hung out on the edge of the pool in square legs with a towel draped over his head as he watched the exchanges, eavesdropped on the coaches’ tips, and tried not to fanboy too hard as Haru swam with the Beijing medalists.

Rin had one final race tonight—the men’s 100m butterfly final—and his Olympic journey would be done.  –At least here in London.  Rin hadn’t breathed a word out loud—not to Haru, the press, or anyone—but in his mind he was already starting to mull over the possibilities for next summer, and the year after, and the year after that…

‘Planning’ was too strong of a word when so much could change in an instant, but why not have goals and dreams and just see if things worked out?

“Alright, Olympians, that’s enough for now.”  Coach Fujino made a note on his clipboard.  “Rest up and we’ll see you back here tonight.”

As their teammates began to drift away from the pool, Haru swam to the side, underneath the lane lines, and surfaced, sprinkling Rin’s calves with droplets.  He got even wetter as Haru propped his elbows on top of Rin’s legs, his body fitting neatly between Rin’s knees.

“We can swim in the morning,” Haru said, his eyes sparkling.  “Coach says it’s OK as long as I don’t exert myself.”

The shadow of the towel was probably not enough to hide the blush rising in Rin’s cheeks.  “You discussed _what_ with our coaches?”

Haru chuckled.  “Nothing but swimming, Rin.”  He planted his hands on the edge of the pool, hoisting himself up, eyelevel with Rin and dripping all over him.  “Wanna shower?”

Rin exhaled, unable to keep himself from gazing at Haru’s lips.  “Yup.”

“I need your help with shaving touch-ups later.”

“Because that went so well, yesterday.”  (Actually, it had, right up to the icy shower Rin needed to take afterwards— _alone_ —washing off the remnants of the tropical-fruit scented shaving cream Haru found on the internet.)

Haru smirked, gliding fingertips furtively along Rin’s silky-smooth inner thigh.  “ _I_ thought so.”

Rin batted his lover’s hand away with a grunt.  “Let’s go.”

-x-

…At the end of 100 meters, Rin stretched for the wall until there was tile against both palms, his final London race complete.  The board showed a number he was proud of—a new personal best—even though he hadn’t won a medal.  Damien Andrews from the United States had gold and Rin’s teammate, Sugiyama Noboru, had another bronze (not that he looked particularly happy about it). 

Rin climbed out of the pool once he’d caught his breath, waving to his teammates—and Haru—in the pool-side seats and his family up above. 

One week, five events, eleven races and his own Olympic medal…not bad for a childhood dream.  _Not bad at all._  

In the meet-up area after he’d warmed down, showered, and dressed, Rin hugged his mom and dad with no regrets and countless happy tears.

* * *

Saturday, August 4th, 2012

* * *

There were four finals Saturday night—the women’s 50m free, the men’s 1500m free, and both medley relays.  Rin was nearly deaf after the women’s medley, thanks to Seijuurou and Momotarou behind him—yelling at the top of their lungs during Isuzu’s backstroke leg—and Takara beside him, cheering on Ozawa in the fly.  The Japanese women earned bronze and a new National Record, behind the World Record-setting American team and the Australians who took silver.

The medal ceremony for the men’s 1500m free followed (prior to the men’s medley) and Rin tried not to fidget, but it seemed to take _forever_ for the medalists to make their victory lap and pose for photos before they finally cleared the pool deck.

Sousuke reached across Takara, nudging Rin’s bouncing knee.  “Impatient much?”

Rin groaned.  “Come on, you are too!”

Takara laughed, flipping loose black hair behind her shoulder.  “You’re worse than Haruka without water.”

“Tch.”  _No one’s that bad._   Rin managed to calm his leg, at least.

_“Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome the athletes in the men’s one hundred meter medley, championship final.”_

_Fucking finally!_   Rin strained for a view of the doorway, which was not really visible from the athletes’ seating area. 

_“In lane one, representing Hungary—”_

The Hungarian team came out first in their white and burgundy warmups; Rin could see them once they emerged from the doorway, crossing the pool deck behind the start blocks and heading for their lane.

_“In lane two, representing the Netherlands—”_

As soon as the Dutch team went out, Rin and the others were on their feet—

_“In lane three, representing Japan—”_

On the screen, Team Japan paused in front of the doorway—Captain Hamada, Ikehara, Sugiyama, and Haru—linking and lifting their hands as they were announced.  As they walked out, Haru was at the end of the line, turning back with a wave and a smile that Rin knew were for him alone.

Takara elbowed him in the arm.  “You two are so annoyingly cute.”

“Mm.”  Rin blushed, but didn’t protest as they took their seats, just as the Americans were announced for lane four.

“It’s so much better than Rome,” she murmured.

Rin inhaled.  “He said—?”

“No, never.”  Takara shook her head.  “But we could tell.  Right, Seijuurou?”  She leaned back, glancing behind them.

“Yeah.”  Seijuurou patted Rin’s shoulder firmly.  “It’s like night and day with you here, Matsuoka.”

Warmth welled up in Rin’s eyes.  “Ah.”

The home team—Great Britain—had lane five, with Australia in lane six, Germany in lane seven, and Canada in lane eight.

The first swimmers prepared behind the blocks, Captain Hamada—with medals in both backstroke events—leading off for Team Japan.

“Hamada-senshu!!” 

That was definitely Gou’s voice.

The announcers hushed the audience for the start, the backstroke swimmers dropping into the pool, climbing up to the holds—

_“Take your marks.”_

The buzzer sounded and Rin didn’t breathe for two and a half minutes.

The United States had the lead for the first fifty, with Hungary and Great Britain in chase, but Captain Hamada’s sprint during the back half had Ikehara diving second to the Americans going into the breaststroke leg.  Ikehara caught up immediately during his length of the pool, shoulder to shoulder with the American swimmer on his right.  The board had him less than two tenths behind at the turn; coming up after the underwater phase, he was ahead—Japan in first place by a whole stroke crossing the pool and going to the wall—

Sugiyama dove before Damien Andrews, coming up to rapid, powerful strokes of butterfly as the American gold medalist (and World and Olympic record-holder) chased him down.  Sugiyama kept the lead to the turn, the two rivals dead even through the second fifty until Andrews surged ahead during the final fifteen meters—

Haru was on the block and Rin was on his feet, gripping the rail, leaning half over with Ikuya on his left and Takara on his right.

Andrews touched first, Sugiyama second, and Haru dove—

_“Haru!!”_

Haru plunged into the water and came up fast, even with the American anchor’s waist as they _flew_ across the pool with pressure coming from Australian anchor Ethan McInnes in lane six.  Rin didn’t dare blink as they hit the turn in rapid succession—United States, Haru, Ethan—and reversed direction, each swimmer pulling out their all for the last fifty meters—

Team Japan was on their feet—stomping and shaking the temporary stands, gripping hands and shoulders as Haru sailed across the pool, gaining speed with each stroke, white water frothing in his wake—

To the wall, it was the United States first, _Haru second_ , and Australia third—

Rin couldn’t hear a damn thing—even his own voice—as he shouted alongside their teammates with happy tears welling up in his eyes.  _Haru!_   They jumped and hugged in the stands with plenty of hard slaps on the back and Rin was so proud he thought he would burst.

Captain Hamada and Ikehara pulled Haru out of the pool, the four a tight huddle in their Team Japan jammers as they celebrated behind the blocks.

Rin hugged _everybody_ ; even Sousuke was tearing up in Takara’s arms. 

“Haruka!!”  —That was Rin’s dad, going crazy in the upper stands and no one would guess that Team Japan only had a silver medal out of all that raucous.

Rin almost kept it together— _almost_ —but that was before Haru turned from the huddle, searching him out—  Haru’s eyes _lit up_ upon finding him; his breathless smile—the _love_ in his gaze—was worth everything to get here. 

—And Rin was left an incoherent mess, sobbing on Ikuya’s shoulder, more in love than ever.

-x-

The medal ceremonies followed immediately, the women first and then the men.  They had to listen to _The Star-Spangled Banner_ twice more, but it was worth it to see the Japanese flag rising into the rafters, both times.

Rin’s face was dry until Haru got his silver medal, lifting it to him and waving.

 _Damnit_. 

Takara handed him another fresh tissue.

During their victory lap around the pool, most of the medalists tossed their rose bouquets into the stands.  Haru did too, except he kept back one ruby-red rose…

Rin bit his lower lip, his face already damp, knowing he was in for it—

As soon as the photographers turned their attention from the silver medalists, Haru broke away, climbing over the tracks for the chase camera—

“Ready?” Sousuke asked.

“Ready,” Ikuya said.

“What—?”  Several pairs of hands took hold of him, lifting Rin out of his seat and over the rail.  “Oi!!”

He landed on his feet, at least, suddenly face-to-face with Haru.

“ _Rin_.”  Haru hugged him so tightly he couldn’t breathe, the silver medal caught between their bodies.

 _Haru_.  Rin wound his arms around Haru’s shoulders.  He wanted to say so many things about how amazing the race was, about Haru’s swimming, about their second-place finish, about their dreams—but the words just wouldn’t come, trapped in his throat as the tears dripped from his eyes and fell into Haru’s hair.

Haru’s eyes were moist—shimmering with emotion—as he drew back, catching Rin’s hands and sinking down to one knee—

Rin’s jaw dropped, the squealing starting behind them and growing louder by the second.

“Rin—”  Haru pressed the rose into his fingers.

“We’re already engaged, you idiot!!”  Rin’s face flamed as Haru smiled.

“I know.”  He leaned in, kissing the ring on Rin’s finger.  “But I want the world to know how much I love Matsuoka Rin.”

 _Damnit, Haru!!_   Rin broke into fresh sobs, dropping onto his knees and gathering Haru to him as their teammates and the audience cheered all around them.

-x-

After that, holding hands in front of the cameras seemed more or less OK.  Rin didn’t relish the questions they’d be sure to get going forward, but for tonight, at least, he wasn’t going to worry about it.

“Haruka!!  Rin!!”  Haru’s parents and Rin’s engulfed them both as soon as they were done for the night.

Tons of tissues were passed around and many hugs shared, with hardly any dry eyes or completely formed sentences between them.

“Coach Fujino invited us tomorrow morning,” Rin’s mom said, when they finally started to recover.  She patted his cheeks with pride shining in her eyes.  “To Japan House, for the medal ceremony.”

“Ah.”  Rin nodded, too overwhelmed to say much.  He’d save the rest of his tears for tomorrow.

Coach Maekawa was standing a polite distance away, waiting to escort them to the bus to the Athletes’ Village.

“Miya, we’d better let them go.”  Toraichi gently drew Miyako away, winking at Rin.  “Don’t party too hard.”

Oh.  _Oh._   Rin cleared his throat lightly as Haru came to him, lacing their fingers together.  “We won’t.”  (Not that he was sure he could keep that promise.)

They left their parents with a wave, grabbing their things and following Coach Maekawa to the bus.

…It was rowdy already, full of their teammates with several standing on the seats and singing offkey. 

“Haruka!!  Matsuoka!!”  Ozawa and Takara herded them onboard and into a vacant seat while Seijuurou busted out fake flower leis in British colors, slipping red and blue ones over both of their heads.

As the bus pulled away from the curb, Rin leaned towards his lover’s ear.  “So we’re not going to bed.”

“We’re not going to bed _yet_ ,” Haru said, his eyes glittering. 

Rin exhaled through his nose.  “A little pool time and suddenly you’re the patient one.”

A tease of a smile curved Haru’s lips as he climbed halfway onto Rin, tangling his fingers in the leis around Rin’s neck.  “I’m not patient at all, Rin,” he whispered, pulling him in close.  “I’ve been waiting for tonight for three years.”

Rin’s eyes blew wide.  “ _Haru_ —”  The name was muffled by Haru’s mouth on his, Rin’s hitch of breath trapped in his throat as Haru pressed him into the seat.  He yielded readily, kissing Haru back, running his hands through Haru’s hair as he held his lover against him.

_Then let’s make it a night we never forget._

-x-

Giving the swimmers the penthouse was probably an attempt to keep the noise collected into one spot, but with roving, multicolored spotlights, Takara’s karaoke machine at top volume, and alcohol everywhere…it was only a matter of time before they all got busted.

 _So—_   Starting things off with a bang was Sousuke, Asahi, and Seijuurou doing a three-way of _Sexy and I know It_ in various states of dress (or undress).  Sei was in a speedo and Sousuke wore the black and hot pink booty shorts that Rin bought as a gag in Vancouver—skin-tight spandex with _Spank me, It’s my birthday_ written across the ass in gold script.  Asahi was the only one in _pants_ , and well on his way to inebriation, as the women on the team surrounded the trio, waving 1000¥ notes and cheering.

“I didn’t think he’d actually wear them.”  Rin rubbed his face, muffling a groan.  “Your birthday’s not until next month!” he yelled, which only had Sousuke winking in Rin’s direction as he paused dancing (if it could be called that) to let another of their teammates slap him on the butt.  _What have I done?_

Haru shrugged.  “Could be worse, Rin.”

Considering the shorts had come as a set with sparkly padded handcuffs…yes, yes it could.  “The night’s still young.”

Haru smiled, grabbing Rin’s hand.  “Dance with me.”

Ozawa grabbing the microphone next was a welcome relief, with her flawless English and choice of song.   _“Do you know what you started?  I just came here to party—  But now we’re rocking on the dance floor, acting naughty—”_

(Haru’s three _years_ aside…)  It had been six days of cold showers (yes, he counted) and much longer since they’d _really_ gone at it.  All of that pent-up desire burned beneath Rin’s skin as Haru’s hands moved across his body, their lips seeking and finding each other with the steady pulse of the music surrounding them.  It was hot already—temperature-wise—and they’d shed their warmup jackets and the tacky leis to their T-shirts underneath.  Even that, Haru seemed intent on ignoring, with his hands beneath, tracing Rin’s abs, palming his lats to hold their hips together…

Rin bit his lower lip, swallowing a groan at the teasing graze through their clothes, his square legs already feeling tight.  Haru’s eyes were dark blue, simmering in the party lighting; he looked _far_ too pleased with Rin’s reaction as he moved again, even more purposely.

 _Like I’m letting you have all the fun._   Wetting his lips, Rin braced one arm on his lover’s shoulder, curling his fingers into black hair as he leaned back, using a well-practiced butterfly move to roll his hips into Haru’s—

Haru’s lips parted in a gasp, his fingertips digging into Rin’s waist beneath his shirt.

Revenge had never felt so good.  Rin smirked, leaning against the heat of Haru’s body, tilting his head to nip at the skin below his lover’s ear.  “Flyers have the best moves on the dance floor.”

Haru’s hum was half-amusement, half a bedroom sound.  Their breaths came out unsteadily as they turned and swayed together under the pretense of dancing.  “You’re sure about that, Rin?”

Rin lifted his head, holding Haru’s gaze as he did it again, watching the pleasure in Haru’s eyes, feeling the eager shivers running through them both.  “Just proved it, didn’t I?”  He cocked a brow, grinning slyly as he lowered his voice.  “Unless you have something to show me?” 

Haru only answered with a smile, with a kiss that stole Rin’s breath as Ozawa’s song faded.

“Haruka!”

Rin was left breathing hard as Haru pulled away, slipping between their dancing teammates towards the makeshift stage—

Ozawa offered Haru the microphone, a knowing smile on her face.  Rin didn’t hear their exchange, but whatever Haru said in reply had her shaking her head as she headed to the karaoke machine, her long ponytail swaying down her back.

From the first notes of the new song, Rin knew he was screwed.

Haru glanced around.  “I need a chair this time.”

_Make that really screwed._

“On it!”  Sousuke disappeared off to one side.

Ikuya snorted.  “Enabler.”  He took a generous swallow from his drink while Hiyori judged them all, silently, from the edge of the room.

“Well, time to go, little brother, little sister—”  Seijuurou got both of his siblings in head locks, dragging them towards the elevator.

“But Nii-channnn—”

_Haru!  How risqué is this gonna be?_

Rin was not about to back down.  He’d teased Haru way too much to wuss out now.  But he couldn’t do much about the heat in his face (not to mention other parts of his body that were pretty damn eager for whatever Haru had up his sleeve).  Their teammates made a circle with them in the center, cheering and whistling and cutting off any sort of escape route.

The beat came in, Haru tapping his foot to keep time, eyes closed as he _felt_ the music—  Rin _could not_ look away, not from the first sway of hips and _not_ as Haru licked his lips, fingertips grazing the back of his neck as he drew breath, lifting the mic— 

_“I wanna hold ‘em like they do in Texas plays, fold ‘em, let ‘em hit me, raise it, baby stay with me—”_

Rin’s mouth went bone dry.  It only got worse when Haru fixed him with piercing blue eyes and sang to him.

 _“Love game intuition, play the cards with spades to start—”_   A smile glittered on Haru’s lips.  _“And after he’s been hooked, I’ll play the one that’s on his heart—”_   Haru winked at him—Matsuoka Rin, 200% slain—making Rin’s knees go weak and raising squeals all around them.

 _“Oh-oh-ohh-oh-oh-ohhhh...”_   Haru tilted his head back, mercilessly exposing his neck, fingertips dragging the edge of his T-shirt away from his throat.  _“I’ll make him hot, show him what I’ve got—”_

If he wasn’t on fire already…  Rin pressed his lips, refusing to fan his face.

“Someone get this man a drink!” Takara yelled, laughing.

The team joined in at the chorus, dancing and singing with their cocktails in hand.  _“Can’t read my—  Can’t read my—  No, he can’t read my poker face—”_

Ikuya brought Rin a paper cup.  “It’s water.”

“You’re a saint.”  Rin downed it all in one long swallow, just as Sousuke appeared with the _chair._

It was a normal, wooden chair.  Haru circled it as he sang, fingers trailing along the chairback…

Maybe if Rin didn’t imagine himself _in_ the chair, it would be fine (though the shiver raking across his shoulders said otherwise).

After the second slow circle, Rin almost had himself convinced, until Haru _straddled_ the chair, arching back—gripping the seat with his thighs—and Rin nearly choked.  He couldn’t breathe, transfixed as Haru rolled his hips with their teammates shouting encouragement, the empty paper cup slipping from Rin’s hand to the floor.

He was _certain_ his face was purple (though the tighter his pants got, the less he cared).

Haru got up as the chorus ended, beckoning him over.

 _Definitely not making it out of here alive._   Rin complied; even without their teammates shoving him forward, he would’ve gone.  As if he could resist!  _Haru_ wanted him; Rin could feel the heat radiating off his fiancé’s body, rapidly shredding his sanity.

Haru’s eyes lit with pleasure and Rin was just done—putty, jelly— _I’m yours._   Haru’s fingertips felt cool against the burning skin of his cheek, tracing the edge of Rin’s jaw, thumb gliding across Rin’s lower lip—

Rin’s breath trickled out in a waver, Haru almost smirking as he brought the microphone close once more.

“ _I wanna roll with him, a hard pair we will be; a little gambling is fun when you’re with me_ —”

_Fucking sign me up, babe._

“ _Russian roulette is not the same without a gun—”_ Haru’s eyes glittered, his hand gliding down to Rin’s chest.  “ _And baby when it’s love if it’s not rough it isn’t fun_ —”  Haru _dropped_ him into the chair, leaving Rin breathless from the rush—

“Get him, Nanase!!”

Not that Haru let him recover.  Rin was eye-level with his lover’s chest, thin fabric clinging to hard planes of muscle as Haru leaned over him, hips moving above Rin’s in enviable strokes of fly (Haru could butterfly when he wanted to) that had Rin reaching back for _anything_ to hold onto—  He found the rung of the chair behind and beneath him, wrapping his hands around the wood in a death grip as he gasped without breathing.  It hardly mattered that Haru wasn’t touching him; the _air_ between them was on fire and he wasn’t sure how much more he could take.

 _“Oh-oh-ohh-oh-oh-ohhhh..._   _I’ll make him hot, show him what I’ve got—”_

Rin’s one-track mind was peeling the clothes from their bodies, filling in the space separating them with fantasies of Haru in his arms, sinking down onto him in one long stroke while he gripped Haru’s hips and thrust upwards—  _Or against the wall would be good, too._

 _—Fuck_.  Rin fought to breathe, to clear his head, as Haru—real life, _clothed_ Haru—raked fingertips down his thigh—

“White-knuckling pretty hard there, Rin,” Sousuke said, chuckling.

“ _Shut up._ ”  Rin swallowed hard.  _I’m trying to be polite._   There was, like, etiquette for these things, wasn’t there?  Rin had no idea.  He sucked air as Haru palmed his knee; even the lightest touch felt scalding hot through the fabric of Rin’s warmup pants.

 _“Can’t read my—  Can’t read my…”_   Haru’s eyes softened.  He lowered the microphone, their teammates taking up the chorus as he leaned in—

Rin braced, but the kiss was _unbelievably_ tender—warm and intoxicating.  His fingers twitched on the rung of the chair.  As Haru pulled away, Rin chased his lover’s lips, drawn off the back of the chair, desperate for more.

“Sousuke.”  Haru tossed the mic.

 _Oh thank God._   Rin jumped up, almost knocking the chair over as he swept Haru princess-style into his arms.  Their teammates clapped and parted for them, Rin not making eye contact as they finally escaped.

-x-

As soon as they were across the threshold, Haru was kissing him, arms twined around Rin’s neck, his hot tongue slipping past Rin’s teeth.  Rin groaned—burning beneath his clothes—and kicked the door shut.  They paused against the wall in the entryway to shift positions—Haru twisting upright, locking his ankles at the small of Rin’s back.  The kiss broke as their hips met, Rin gasping as he felt Haru against him— _finally_ ; even with layers of fabric between them, he shuddered with pleasure, unable to stop himself from moving, pinning Haru to the wall…

“ _Rin_.”  Haru’s legs tightened around him, urgency and impatience in his voice.

Rin grunted, adjusting his grip.  By willpower alone, they made it into the bathroom.  Rin set Haru on the edge of the sink, breathing hard and not from exertion.  “Need a minute?”

“No,” Haru said, his gaze drenched with desire as he reeled Rin in for another kiss, trapping him with his thighs.

Rin stifled a moan, grabbing supplies from the cabinet.  “Then clothes _off_.”

They washed up and barely dried, stripping in the hallway (and stumbling in their haste, teasing, kissing, pushing each other against the wall)— 

Rin dropped to his knees, propping Haru’s leg on his shoulder and taking revenge with his mouth and tongue while he worked slick fingers inside—  Haru’s head hit the wall with a thud; he gasped and shook, a whispered expletive falling from his lips, his hands curling into fists in Rin’s hair.  It was so damn satisfying after all Haru had put him through; Rin would’ve smiled if he wasn’t occupied…

Haru didn’t let him play for long, groaning and tugging him to his feet.

Rin smirked and cocked a brow, leaning in for a grazing kiss.  “Where’s your poker face now?”

“Shut up,” Haru muttered.  He tore the condom packet open with his teeth and reached down, taking Rin in hand—

The hard spike of pleasure left Rin trembling, choking back a curse.  He gripped Haru’s thighs, air trailing out through his teeth as his lover climbed into his arms…

He wasn’t smirking anymore, their hard breaths hitting each other’s faces as he pushed inside, sliding deep.  _Oh f—_ They groaned in unison, shaking.  Rin paused for a second, maybe two, maybe three, then he couldn’t keep still any longer, taking Haru against the wall, less than a meter from their bedroom door.

But Haru didn’t seem to mind…legs locked around his waist, sliding down to meet his thrusts eagerly, fingers digging into Rin’s traps…  “ _Rin_ —”

In fact, knowing Haru, it had probably been the plan all along.

-x-

Rin’s legs were shot, like 5k open water shot, quivering and buckling beneath him.  At least the bed was there to catch them (they’d made it into the room eventually) and he’d lasted through all of Haru’s demands—Haru, who was limp in his arms with the smuggest little smile, eyes closed and trembling as they both caught their breath.

“ _Fuck_ ,” Rin whispered, blinking at the ceiling—stunned, dizzy, buzzing.

“Mm.”  Haru nuzzled his throat.  “Kind of the point, Rin.”

Rin pressed his lips, tasting salt and chlorine and Haru.  “You’re OK?”

“Way better than OK.”  Haru shifted on top of him—just a small repositioning, but it still sent a hard _jolt_ through Rin’s frazzled nerves—

He gasped, head tilted back against the sheets.  “ _Haru_.”

Haru’s hum was amused and sated, lips grazing the underside of Rin’s chin.  “Can you?”

“Yeah.”  Rin slipped a hand between them, holding the base of the condom as Haru slid off and dropped down onto the bed beside him.  Only then could Rin finally rub two brain cells together again.  The tissue box was _not_ within reach, damn their lack of foresight, but could he be blamed?  “I got played.  Like a fiddle.”  Rin snorted.  “Like a hand of—”

“No bad puns after sex.” 

Rin smiled, twisting to catch his lover’s lips.  “You were in a mood in Rome.”

“Rome was one percent of that, Rin,” Haru said, curling up against him.

Rin didn’t have words for how happy that made him.  “You want a bath?” he asked, brushing sweaty strands of hair from Haru’s brow.

Stifling a yawn, Haru shook his head.  “Sleep.”

“OK.”  It took a couple of minutes, but Rin finally convinced his limbs to move.  He cleaned up, retrieved their clothes (and the condom wrapper and lubricant) from the hallway, and went to the bathroom for a washcloth.

The party was still going outside their apartment door, the current ballad vaguely familiar…

_“‘Cause even when I dream of you…the sweetest dream will never do.  I’d still miss you, babe—”_

“Why do I hear that song…”  Rin returned to bed, sweeping the damp washcloth across Haru’s skin.  “From that movie about the asteroid?”

“It’s Natsuya,” Haru murmured, pressing into Rin’s touch.  “Recording a video again.”

“For someone at home?”

“Mm.”  Haru nodded.  “If we’re lucky, Coach Maekawa will shut it down before he’s drunk enough to sing _Titanic_.”

Rin chuckled, lying back and pulling the covers over them.  He cleared his throat, crooning into Haru’s ear—  “ _Near, far_ —”

“ _Stop_.”  Haru rolled on top of him.  “You _would_ have it memorized.  Romantic.”

Rin wove his fingers into Haru’s hair, lifting his head just enough to brush their lips together.  “You’re in love with this romantic.”

Haru’s eyes softened, just starting to glisten.  “I love you so much, Rin.”

“Haru.”  Rin exhaled hard, a warm lump forming in his throat as he sought another kiss.  “I love _you_.”

* * *

Sunday, August 5th, 2012

* * *

Seeing their parents first thing the morning after—especially _Haru’s_ —wasn’t awkward at all.  Why would it be?  Rin tried not to cringe as Haru yawned every five minutes, looking especially relaxed and mellow— _notably_ so, even for him. 

“Haruka, didn’t you get enough sleep last night?”  Haru’s mother frowned, her pale blue dress complimenting her eyes as she studied her son’s face.

“I slept really well, Mom,” Haru said with a _wholly_ contented smile, two of his fingers curled loosely with two of Rin’s.  “Better than ever, in fact.”

 _Haru, can you not?!_   Rin’s face was about to ignite at any second, his tracksuit feeling uncomfortably hot, even with a pleasant breeze blowing across the sunny terrace.  Japan House was at No. 4 Hamilton Place—an ornate Edwardian townhouse and home to the Royal Aeronautical Society, a 45-minute drive from the Village—the second-floor patio packed with swimmers, their families, their coaches, and JASF/JOC staff, everyone dressed to the nines.

“Karaoke night just went kind of late.”  Haru leaned in, gently bumping Rin’s shoulder.  “You slept well, too.”

“Yes, Haru.  Thank you.”  Rin did _not_ make eye contact—or even attempt to be suave—to avoid combusting on the spot.

Rin’s father winked at him.  “I remember nights like those.”  Toraichi chuckled with his arm draped across Miyako’s shoulders, dipping his head close to his wife’s ear.  “Like that time in Spain?”

“Tora!”  Rin’s mom blushed, swatting her husband playfully.  She gave Toraichi a look Rin had seen countless times growing up— _Not in front of the kids._

If he could just melt into the floor, that would be great.

“Onii-chan!!  Haru-nii!!”  Gou trotted over in a sleeveless dress, dragging Isuzu by the arm.  “You made the Olympic newspaper!”

The picture was buried behind pages of Damien Andrews and his countless gold medals, the USA women’s World Record-setting relay team, and Great Britain’s medalists in Athletics—tucked in the corner but beautifully presented.  It was a pool-side shot of Haru down on one knee, his silver medal gleaming like the tears on Rin’s cheeks, the love in their gazes—the emotion, the moment—leaping off the printed page.  The accompanying article in English, which Rin only had a chance to skim, was an opinion piece covering the relay and their previous races and respectfully challenging Japan to up its game in diversity and inclusion as a candidate city for the 2020 Olympics. 

Rin turned with a wavering breath, letting their parents hijack the page.  Haru was there, squeezing his hand, his eyes gleaming with the same hope that welled up in Rin’s heart—that change was possible, that _someday_ all of their future dreams would be real.

-x-

The medal ceremony was held downstairs in the auditorium—a modern room with a stage and blue and white lighting—with their teammates and families filling the first several rows of seats while the media, Japanese Olympic Committee, and guests took every other available space.  Rin and the other preliminary round swimmers were escorted onstage to loud cheers and applause.  He was determined not to cry this time (yeah, right), standing next to Sousuke with Haru seated in the front row, just below.

As the JOC president, assisted by board member Saeki Aina, worked down the line—giving London 2012 bronze medals to the women and silvers to the men with handshakes and brief sentiments—Rin was doing great keeping it together, smiling amidst the constant camera flashes.  Until the JOC officials got to Sousuke and instead of _T_ _ōno-senshu_ and _Kirishima-senshu_ , it was, _“Cadet Yamazaki, congratulations—”_

 _Ah, hell._   Rin blinked back the sudden sting in his eyes, facing the woman he’d met during the Olympic Festival in Sendai last October, who’d personally thanked him for his service and given him his ticket to the Japanese Olympic Trials. 

“Cadet Matsuoka, congratulations.”

Rin dipped his head so the JOC president could slip the lanyard around his neck, shaking hands firmly with both officials, but especially with Saeki.

“Thank you,” he said with all sincerity.  _Thank you for taking a chance on me back then._

Her gaze sent it all back to him.  “You’ve earned it, Cadet Matsuoka.”

Rin could only bow his head a second time, wordlessly, in receipt.

The JASF director was at the microphone:  “Once again, the London 2012 medley medalists—”

There was a standing ovation as the photographers motioned them together for photos.  Rin looped his arm around Sousuke and grinned for the cameras, tearing up on yet another podium.

-x-

Press conferences with all of the team’s medalists followed after a short break for refreshments and resetting the room.  They were broken into groups; Rin and Haru were the last to take the stage, waiting in the busy wings with Coach Maekawa as the Kirishima brothers and Mikoshiba siblings finished their interviews.

“They’ve been told to stick to swimming questions,” Maekawa said, nodding at the reporters now filling the auditorium seats.  “If they don’t, don’t feel obligated to answer.”

Rin exhaled in a puff.  Usually he owned stuff like this, but today—even with two Olympic medals around his neck—he felt off somehow.  Too vulnerable, maybe, given his previous tears.  It was early in the day to deal with so many emotions; though he was a master at faking it when he wanted to, some times were harder than others.

“It’s OK, Rin.”  Haru took both of his hands in his, squeezing gently.  “Just follow my lead.”

“Ah.”  Rin managed a smile, letting his eyes fall closed as he leaned in until their foreheads touched, drawing strength from their contact, from having Haru with him, doing this _together_.

They headed out when announced, taking seats behind the table, next to Coach Fujino.  The backdrop was a pattern of sponsors’ logos; glasses of water and microphones waited in front of them on a white tablecloth.  The room was packed—standing room only—with their parents and Gou in the very back.

The moderator from the JOC stood behind the podium to their right.  “These are the first Olympic Games for Matsuoka-senshu and Nanase-senshu.  They medaled together in the men’s 4-by-200 freestyle relay and the 4-by-100 medley, while also competing in the men’s 100 meter free, where they set a new National Record in fourth place.  Nanase-senshu competed in the men’s 200 meter freestyle, in which he also holds the National Record, finishing fifth, while Matsuoka-senshu completed in the men’s 100 meter butterfly and finished sixth in the final.  Prior to this year, Nanase-senshu swam with the National Team in the 2009 World Championships held in Rome.  Additionally, both Nanase-senshu and Matsuoka-senshu finished in the top eight in the 2010 Japanese Open Water Swimming Championships.”

 _When you hear it all together, it doesn’t sound half-bad, eh?_   Rin shared a warm glance with his fiancé. 

“First question, please.”

Every hand went up, the moderator selecting a reporter in the second row, on the left.

“Nanase-senshu, Matsuoka-senshu, have you set a date for the wedding?”

 _Well…_   Rin didn’t let himself cringe, though his face heated a bit.  _That didn’t take long at all._

Haru leaned towards the microphone.  “That’s private.  Though we may post pictures if the rest of the questions are about swimming.”

A chuckle rumbled through those gathered, the particular reporter quietly sitting down.

“Next…yes?”

A reporter towards the middle of the auditorium stood up.  “Cadet Matsuoka, I understand you’ll be returning to the Coast Guard Academy after London to finish your term.  What about the Japanese Swimming Championships next April?”

Rin smiled, catching Haru’s hand beneath the table as he leaned towards the mic.  “April isn’t off the table.”  _Or the one after that, or the one after that…_   “My first duty is to serve, but obviously rescue swimmers do a lot of swimming.  I’ll be continuing to train with the Academy swim team with the goal of getting back here again.  I don’t plan on giving up competing anytime soon.”  He squeezed Haru’s fingers, sealing the promise, meeting the warmth and emotion gleaming in Haru’s eyes.  _I mean it, this time._

Haru smiled, reading it all on his face.

“Nanase-senshu, the rumor is that you’re not returning to Tokyo once London is finished.”

As Haru turned his attention forward, Rin pressed his lips, trying not to look too pleased.  _Because you’ll be at Hiroshima Air Station, less than an hour from me in Kure._   As a cadet, Rin was required to stay on campus, but Haru could get an apartment.  They’d have weekends—evenings too when their schedules allowed.  It wouldn’t be the same as tripping over each other these past four months, but compared to every separation they’d been through…Rin couldn’t wait for the next chapter of their lives together. 

It was only until Rin graduated in March, only until their wedding.  After that…well, they’d have to sort things out.  Junior Officers usually went on a three-month international deployment onboard _PL-21 Kojima_ shortly after graduation.  Did they ever take pilots?  Rin wasn’t sure, but he would have to find out so he could start buttering up the senior Officers who made the assignments—

“I do have specific plans that take me away from Tokyo,” Haru said into the microphone.  “But I can’t announce them here, because my decision is very recent and I first need to tell the person most important to me—”

 _Wait, what?_   Rin’s attention snapped to Haru at his side, his heart starting to pound.

Haru still had Rin’s left hand under the table—gently rubbing Rin’s engagement ring with his thumb as if Rin hadn’t just stopped breathing.

“What I will say is, I want to be where I can do the most good.  I love Japan and I love the people of Japan,” Haru said.  “Swimming for titles and medals alone isn’t enough for me anymore.  Which isn’t to say I’m giving up competing—I’m not, for sure.  But I want my swimming to help and to serve the people I love.  Even if that means facing the water I’d struggled to forgive, up until a few weeks ago—”

Rin’s eyes widened and filled with tears, his heart feeling like it would beat right out of his chest.  Because Haru could only be talking about one thing, even though…even though that should be _impossible_ —

“Nanase-senshu, are you referring to your career as a pilot with the Japanese Coast Guard?”

“Yes and no.  I plan to continue flying as well.  But like I said before, I can’t—”

“Haru!”  Rin couldn’t take it anymore, clutching his fiancé’s hand as the tears spilled down his cheeks.  “What did you do without telling me?”

Haru turned to him, his eyes going wide (because of the state of Rin’s face, no doubt). 

_Here I am, crying in front of all of these damn cameras…_

Haru gripped his hand.  “Rin, I didn’t do anything yet.  I just decided to apply—”

 _To the Coast Guard Academy, to be a rescue swimmer—_ Rin knew it all from one glimpse of Haru’s face.  “But—”  He shoved the tears away in vain.  “But you always said—”

Haru’s eyes softened, his gaze utterly tender as he reached out, cupping Rin’s cheek with his left hand.  “I asked you to show me, remember?  The ultimate team you always told me about.”

“ _Haru_ …”  The name came out in a whisper, raw and broken.

Haru smiled, holding his gaze, wiping away the tears.  “We make the best team out there, Rin.  In anything and everything.”

Squeezing his eyes shut didn’t help.  Rin threw his arms around Haru’s shoulders, his face pressed into Haru’s jacket as he ugly-cried for the rest of their London 2012 press conference.

-x-

Saeki came out and stopped the conference pretty much immediately, escorting them upstairs to a small room being used as a JOC office so they could gather themselves privately.

Rin went through several tissues, blowing his nose and drying his face as he leaned against Haru between the temporary desks, surrounded by ornate windows and a fireplace.  “When…when did you decide?”  He crumpled the tissues in his hand, fixing his lover with a mild glare.  “And don’t you dare say last night!”

Haru held him, warm fingers stroking through his hair.  “It wasn’t last night, Rin.  I’ve been considering this for a while.  But until Tenerife, I wasn’t sure I’d ever be ready…”

 _Haru…_   Rin’s breath hitched as he thought about the beach, about the weight he’d seen leave Haru’s shoulders that day.

“It’s only been the last few days that I’ve really known.”  Haru hugged him tightly.  “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.  I wanted to be sure.”

“It’s OK.”  His breath came out unevenly as he hugged Haru back, lifting his head for their eyes to meet.  “As long as it’s what _you_ want—”

Haru smiled, his eyes glistening.  “I want to swim with you, Rin.”

“ _Haru_ …”

Haru touched their foreheads and the tips of their noses together.  “I want to fly with you in every sky, I want to swim with you in every pool and every sea…”

Rin’s breath caught, his eyes going wide.  _Haru!  That sounds like—_

“…for the rest of our lives,” Haru whispered, all aglow, with happy tears beading on his lashes.  “It’s not too soon to start writing our wedding vows, is it?”

Rin couldn’t speak, only managing to shake his head as he embraced his husband-to-be fiercely, their tears mingling on each other’s cheeks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Karaoke playlist -  
>  _[Don't Stop the Music](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yd8jh9QYfEs)_ (Rihanna), _[Poker Face](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bESGLojNYSo)_ (Lady Gaga), _[I Don't Want to Miss a Thing](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JkK8g6FMEXE)_ (Aerosmith)
> 
> Remainder of the semis/finals  
> [Day 5](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c59hqWduDac), [Day 6](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=APZTJmCoMjc), [Day 7](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IHLB7bf98lc), [Day 8](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GqwpPU126lE) with the men's medley final at [1:07:24](https://youtu.be/GqwpPU126lE?t=4044).


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...This was supposed to be the intro to the Epilogue, but it ended up being its own chapter. *headdesk* So I still have to write the Epilogue XD ~~But I'm guessing most of you are reading for this anyways, or at least Candy is XD~~ ❤
> 
> The nsfw bit is mostly implied and very brief, fyi
> 
> Thanks for reading!! I hope you like it!! ❤

* * *

Saturday, March 23rd, 2013

* * *

In front of the mirror in the small ship’s cabin, Rin fastened the last few buttons on his uniform jacket, his heart all aflutter underneath.  His dress whites were pristine, the gold shoulder epaulets gleaming, his brand-new junior officer bars added to his captain’s wings on the left side of his chest.  His hand felt naked without his engagement ring, but that would be corrected in mere moments now— _finally_ , after two and a half years of waiting, _hoping_ —  Rin exhaled, letting his hands fall to his sides.  He wasn’t calm; hadn’t been for days.  _We’re really doing this, Haru._   Rin bit his lower lip as a fresh surge of joy welled up inside him.  _We’re getting married today._

A warm hand landed on his shoulder.  “Nervous?” Rin’s dad asked.

Rin shook his head, smiling at their reflection—the two of them side-by-side in their matching dress uniforms, except for the different rank insignia.  “Anxious, not nervous.”  He turned from the mirror to face his father, letting Toraichi scrutinize his lapels and tie, his shirt collar underneath.  “Were you?  When you married Mom?”

His father chuckled, a twinkle in his eyes as their gazes met.  “I kept it together until I saw your mother in her wedding dress.  After that, I was basically a wreck.”

Rin winced a little, doubting he’d fair much better.  He hadn’t seen Haru since yesterday when their families whisked them apart for the evening.  He’d gotten _enough_ sleep, not a lot, waking up every few hours just waiting for it to be morning.  Gou had been merciless, teasing him, and he’d fired back with zingers of his own, as they chatted and giggled and tried not to wake up their parents in the next room, just like when they were kids.

She’d been the first one to hug him this morning—the very moment he woke up—pouncing him in her pink pajamas, ruby hair hitting him in the face.  _“Congratulations, Onii-chan!!”_

From that moment, he’d been one step away from losing it.

Rin pressed his lips as his father picked up the necklace—the one his dad gave him two years ago—his engagement ring dangling from the chain.  “Dad…”

“Hm?”  Toraichi slipped the necklace over Rin’s head.

Rin caught the ring in his hand, clutching it to his heart.  “I thought the happiest day of my life was last April, when I made it to London with Haru, but…”  _Out of all of the dreams I’ve had…_   His eyes stung, voice coming out in a whisper.  “…but _nothing_ compares to this.”

“Rin…”  Toraichi’s eyes began to gleam.  He held Rin by both shoulders, squeezing gently.  “Life’s like that.  You think you can’t ever be happier, but a new moment comes—chained together in an endless string, each one better than the last…”  He smiled.  “For me, it was the day your mother said she’d marry me, then our wedding day, then the day we found out we were pregnant with you—”

Rin inhaled slowly, a hot lump forming in his throat.

“—the day you were born, and then your sister…”  Toraichi exhaled, blinking moist eyes.  “The day the Coast Guard brought me back to you.”

“ _Dad_ —”  Rin’s breath hitched, his eyes burning.

“And there’s today.”  Toraichi picked up Rin’s uniform cap, settling it just-so onto his head.  “I’ve never been prouder or happier, Rin.  Seeing the man you’ve become.”

Rin choked back the tears, risking both of their uniforms as he hugged his dad tightly.  He couldn’t utter a sound at first, his heart full of his father’s words, of all the future possibilities stretched out in front of him.  –Things he couldn’t have dared to imagine before, but now he was ready.

With a long exhale, Rin found his voice.  “I love you, Dad.”

Toraichi hugged him tighter still.  “I love you too, Son.”

When a knock sounded on the cabin door, they finally parted, Toraichi chuckling as he pulled a packet of tissues from his pocket.  “Your mother coming to check on us, no doubt.”

Rin accepted a tissue, drying his face.  “Come in.”

Sure enough, it was Rin’s mother and his sister, both women in sakura-pink gowns, their hair braided across their crowns with tiny white flowers woven into the strands.

“No, you’ll get me started already!” Rin’s mom said, her face beginning to crumple as she looked at them.  “We just got our makeup done.”  She sniffed hard and fanned her cheeks.

“At least the mascara’s waterproof!”  With a squeal, Gou launched herself into Rin’s arms.   “Onii-chan, you look so handsome!”  She wrapped her arms around Rin’s waist and squeezed.  “But couldn’t you have gotten married on the beach?”

Rin snorted.  “You can have the muscle wedding, Gou.”

“Oh, no.  I can only handle one wedding at a time,” Miyako said, grabbing a tissue from the pack Rin’s dad held.

Gou giggled, pulling free.  “Someday.”  She winked at Rin.  “Ready, big brother?  Haru-nii’s waiting, you know.”

Rin exhaled roughly, fighting a grin through another excited flutter.  He took one last look in the mirror, tucking his necklace under his shirt and straightening his jacket while his mother reached up to slip Toraichi’s uniform cap onto his head.

Turning from the mirror, Rin hugged his family.  “Yeah, I’m ready.”

-x-

It was a sunny, early spring day—still crisp but not too chilly—the breeze light and variable from the south.  The sakura trees were blooming along Vancouver Harbour, where _PL-21 Kojima_ was docked.  Rin waited on the starboard side of the ship, just out of view, with his parents and Commander Fujioka, also in dress whites.  A roll of blue carpet scattered with sakura petals marked Rin’s path across green decking to the stern of the ship where rows of chairs were arranged in a semi-circle, divided by two aisles for their entrance and a third central aisle for the recessional.  From where he stood, Rin could just see the guests filling the chairs—family, friends, members of the National Team, and their Coast Guard classmates—with their two officiants waiting just beyond, _Kojima’s_ captain and a Japanese-Canadian minister (because why not cover all their bases?  " _As long as you’re passport holders, nothing says I can’t perform your wedding,” Captain Kimura said when they asked, shaking their hands firmly.  “It would be my honor, Gentlemen._ ").  With the officiants stood their best men—Sousuke and Makoto, in dress whites and a black tuxedo, respectively.

Just to the side, waiting for Commander Fujioka’s signal (and Commander Mayeda’s from the port side of the ship), were the Kirishima brothers in formal tuxedos, backed by members of the Coast Guard Music Corps.  Natsuya had line of sight, winking at Rin already, which made Rin’s face heat and _of course_ their stealthy photographer had it all on camera.

And then, Commander Fujioka turned around, a smile on his face.  “Ready, Matsuoka?”

Rin’s heart leapt in his chest, racing in anticipation.  “Hai,” he said, drawing a deep breath, his arms looped through his parents’, with his dad on his left and his mom on his right.  He didn’t dare look at them, knowing his dad was beaming and his mom was already fighting tears as she squeezed his arm.

At the edge of the wall, Commander Fujioka nodded subtly towards the port side of the ship—towards Commander Mayeda _and Haru_ —and, after a momentary pause, nodded a second time to the musicians.

The music started—the first gentle beats of _Stand By Me_ by Ben E. King—and the guests rose to their feet, heads swiveling towards the aisles.  Commander Fujioka stood aside and Rin, arm-in-arm with his parents, stepped forward…

He’d walked in front of the world before—at the Japanese Swimming Championships in Tokyo…last summer in London…  He knew what it felt like to be ushered to the pool by the excitement of the crowd, by their support, encouragement, and adoration.  Those moments _paled_ in comparison.   _This_ walk carried him to his soulmate and partner, to the starting blocks of their lives _together._

The only problem was, he couldn’t see a damn thing through the rows of guests—unlike their rehearsal yesterday.  As he walked down the starboard aisle and the Kirishima brothers sang, Rin caught a glimpse, maybe two, of Haru’s cap—that was it for all of his peering (screw decorum!) as their teammates and classmates laughed and ribbed on him in whispers.

“Eyes front, Matsuoka!”  “Should’ve worn heels!”

Rin grinned back, walking just a tad faster—

_“No I won’t be afraid, no I won’t be afraid…  Just as long as you stand, stand by me…”_

The last row of seats was at the edge of the helipad; Rin reached the white outer circle just as Ikuya and Natsuya started into the chorus—

_“And darling, darling, stand by me—”_

—And Rin couldn’t breathe, nearly tripping over his own feet as they stepped out at the same time—Haru in his dress whites and cap, escorted by his parents, with a smile, with eyes that lit and widened, filled with love, with lips that formed Rin’s name—

Rin _might’ve_ run those last few steps to the center of the helipad, dragging his parents with him.  Their friends cheered (this was not going to be a quiet wedding) as they finally reached each other.  Rin felt incandescent, but nothing—not even the sun—was shining as brightly in his eyes as _Haru_. 

As the song faded, their fathers shook hands and their mothers embraced with tears in their eyes.  Rin and Haru got hugs and kisses from their parents, releasing them to their seats in the front row.  With another breath, his heart beating a rapid staccato in his chest, Rin held out his hand—

Haru took it, weaving their fingers together and squeezing tight. 

Rin’s lungs emptied in a wavering rush; he blinked back the moisture in his eyes, unwilling and unable to look away as they stood together in front of the officiants, flanked by their best friends. 

Captain Kimura, in his dress whites, opened the ceremony, his voice carrying easily across the assembled guests.  “Beloved family, dear friends, crewmen and women of the _Kojima_ , class of 2013—”

A brief, sharp cheer arose behind them.  Rin and Haru shared a smile, waving in acknowledgement and solidarity.

“—We are gathered here in the sight of God to witness and to celebrate as two of our own—Matsuoka Rin and Nanase Haruka—embark on the ultimate voyage of partnership, of trust, of love.”

The words sank in deeply, landing on Rin’s heart as they finally turned their attention forward.

Captain Kimura smiled.  “Please be seated.”

Once the guests settled into their chairs, Reverend Hamasaki spoke to them over the leather portfolio he carried.  “Love, in the words penned by the Apostle Paul, is patient and kind, it is not envious or arrogant, not rude or selfish, not quick to anger, nor does love hold a grudge.  Love rejoices, protects, trusts, hopes, perseveres, and celebrates.  And love never fails.”  The minister paused, regarding them warmly.  “Matsuoka-san, Nanase-san, you have come to this place and time to declare your love for one another, to enter into a covenant that involves heart, body, and soul, from this day forward, for as long as you both shall live.  It is not lightly or hastily that you make these promises to each other.  Your loved ones have witnessed pieces of your journey here, but only you and God know the depths of the valleys and the heights of the mountains you have walked to come to this place.”

 _Yeah_.  Rin inhaled slowly, breathing through the sting in his eyes and nose.  He squeezed Haru’s hand, his heart at peace as Haru squeezed back.

“Marriage is a blessing, a decision to share life in all its varied facets, to support one another, to champion and love each other, no matter what tomorrow brings.  On days of triumph and on days of grief, may you look back on _this_ day, on the vows spoken here—” Rev. Hamasaki gestured to their feet, his eyes twinkling, “—on this helipad, and resolve to always move forward, side-by-side.  For, what God has joined together, let no one put asunder.” 

The minister turned to Rin.  “Matsuoka-san, in the witness of friends, family, and heaven, is it your intention to enter into the covenant of marriage with Nanase-san, come what may, for the rest of your lives together?”

Rin gripped Haru’s hand.  “Yes, it is,” he said, his voice coming out strong and firm.

“Nanase-san, in the witness of friends, family, and heaven, is it your intention to enter into the covenant of marriage with Matsuoka-san, come what may, for the rest of your lives together?”

“Yes, it is,” Haru said.

The giddiness hit Rin full-force as soon as Haru spoke.  _We’re getting married!!_   He couldn’t keep from grinning like an idiot, Sousuke smothering a sigh beside him.

The minister cleared his throat—covering a smile, Rin was pretty sure.  “Please join hands as we pray—”

Rin had both of Haru’s hands in his, their heads bowed as the minister prayed for God’s blessing on their marriage.  Gratitude welled up inside him—that in the vastness of time and space, he’d found his soulmate at ten years old, at a swim meet of all places.  –That every year since (twelve in all, now) had only grown their love—a love that separation and challenges hadn’t diminished.  —That the steps of their journey, nothing like the plans Rin thought he had, brought them to a place where they could declare their love and commitment openly.  If all this was not only possible, but _real_ , he couldn’t help but believe for everything that was to come.

“Yamazaki-san, Tachibana-san, the rings please…”

Makoto placed the slim gold band in Haru’s palm, Rin drawing a deep breath to gather himself as he gave his hand.

“Rin.”  Haru took his hand, holding his gaze.  “Even though you didn’t let me order a saba-flavored wedding cake—”

Their guests laughed; Rin cringed and grinned, but yes, they’d had that argument—

“You’re the love of my life—” Haru’s words winged their way straight to Rin’s heart, “—my partner in everything, my teammate above all others.”  Haru slid the gleaming band onto Rin’s finger.  “For fair skies and following seas…and through every storm, too, I _promise_ —”

Rin stopped breathing as Haru clutched his hand.

“—to be there with you, to support your dreams, to dream _with you_.”

 _Haru…_   Rin’s eyes filled with tears.

“No matter what we face.”  Haru smiled at him, eyes gleaming with love.  “No matter how bleak or impossible it may seem, because I know that—together—we can do anything.”

 _Oh, God._   “Haru…”  The name slipped out, the first tears dripping down Rin’s face.

“And I’m—”  As Haru’s voice _broke_ , laden with emotion, his gaze shining with liquid, Rin’s eyes blew wide, his heart stunned and stilled, the tears falling faster—

Haru took both of his hands in a tight grip.  “I’m so happy and proud to finally call you my husband.  It’s a dream come true.”  Shiny tears slid down Haru’s cheeks.  “ _You’re_ a dream come true, Rin.  I can’t wait to dream more dreams together.”

Rin barely held back a sob, their loved ones cheering as Sousuke and Makoto discretely handed them tissues.

“Why did I let you go first?!”  Rin hastily dried his face, his breath coming in soft hitches as he tried to gather himself.

Haru was sympathetic but unrepentant (of course), his gaze showering Rin with love as much as his words had.

Rin drew a deep breath, forcing the air out in a puff as Sousuke handed him the second ring.

“You can do it, Rin-chan!” Nagisa yelled.

“You got this, Matsuoka!”  —That was Seijuurou and Takara in chorus.

 _Yeah, I got this_.  Rin reached for his soon-to-be-husband’s hand.  _Gimme._

There was a warm sparkle in Haru’s eyes as he offered his left hand.

Rin smoothed his fingers around Haru’s, pausing to center himself before he started in.  “Haru,” he said, gazing into Haru’s eyes, into all the days of their life together—past, present, and future.  “I knew from the beginning that I wanted to be with you.  I thought I had a pretty good idea of what it should look like, too.  But then you had to ‘only swim free’ and be difficult—”

Their friends laughed, especially the swimmers, Haru smiling with a pink blush in his cheeks.

“Your love,” Rin said, carefully sliding the gold band onto Haru’s finger, “unlocked dreams in me I’d given up.  You showed me it was OK to try—to ask for everything, to be everything.  You made me—” he smiled around the word, “— _free_.”

Haru’s gaze lit with pleasure, even as he pressed his lips, tears trembling on his lashes.

Rin held both of Haru’s hands in his.  “I promise to be true to you and to myself.  To hold nothing back, no matter where life takes us; to fight for everything we want and never give up.  –Through all the highs and lows, joys and sorrows and everything in between.  _I want to face it all with you_.”  Rin grinned, squeezing Haru’s hands.  “We make an amazing team.  So let’s do it!  What’s gonna stop us?”  _Nothing, that’s what!_

“ _Rin_ —”  Haru’s eyes shone with love, the tears glistening on his face as he tugged Rin close—

 _Haru—_   Rin exhaled in the sweetest sigh, letting himself be drawn in, pulling equally—

Captain Kimura cleared his throat.  “You might let us pronounce you, first.”

The guests laughed as they exchanged sheepish glances and restrained themselves, linked by their hands.

Both officiants were smiling.

“As captain of this Japan-registered vessel—”

“And by the authority vested in me as a minister of God in the province of British Columbia—”

“We pronounce you, Husbands—”

 _Husbands!_   Rin and Haru shared grins as a squeal arose (Gou, probably), joined by a chorus of cheering.

“Rin-san, Haruka-san, you may seal your vows with a kiss.”

As one, they removed each other’s caps and embraced, their lips melting together and faces damp.  Everyone cheered and Rin’s heart was filled to bursting as he kissed _his husband_. 

_Haru, we did it!  We really—_

Rin was holding on by a thread as they parted, soaking in the love in Haru’s eyes, the happiness on his husband’s face.

Then their recessional started to play—Stevie Wonder’s _Signed, Sealed, Delivered_ —and Rin lost it, tears of joy streaking down his face.

“ _Rin_ —”  Haru’s cheeks were just as wet.  He pulled Rin in for another kiss—

And after that—so much for wedding decorum—there was a mob of family and friends on the helipad, hugging them while cheering, crying, and singing along.

_“Here I am, baby…  Signed, sealed, delivered—I’m yours—”_

They held each other, swaying in the center of the celebration as the song continued.  Rin closed his eyes, face pressed into Haru’s hair.  “Love you.”

Haru nuzzled in with a happy sigh.  “Love _you_.”

-x-

They signed the documents inside with Captain Kimura, Reverend Hamasaki, and Sousuke and Makoto as witnesses.  Even though it wouldn’t be recognized in Japan—for now—Rin and Haru held that piece of paper like it was gold—far more precious than every medal and record and gilded rank insignia.

“Let’s frame it, Rin,” Haru said, as they gazed down at their names in English and Japanese, at the words that declared them married.

“Yeah.”  Rin nodded, sniffing hard so his tears wouldn’t drip on the paper.

-x-

After a zillion photos on the _Kojima’s_ deck, they took over the Boathouse on Kitsilano Beach for the reception.  Rin and Haru finally got a moment to themselves in a room off the banquet hall, to embrace and trade kisses…and mostly to be still, letting it all sink in. 

“I’ve never been happier in my life,” Rin whispered as they leaned against each other, foreheads touching.

“You know I take that as a challenge,” Haru said, his fingers sifting gently through Rin’s hair.

Rin smiled, tightening his arms around Haru’s waist.  “I know.”  _I can’t wait for the rest of our lives together_.  “What about you?” he asked with a graze of lips.

Haru exhaled, his breath warm against Rin’s cheek.  “If you told me that all the pools in the world were mine, and I could swim in them whenever I wanted for as long as I wanted…  It wouldn’t be half of one percent of how happy I am right now.”

Rin laughed.  “Haru!”

Haru frowned.  “I’m serious.”

“I know you are.”  Rin grinned.  “How does marrying me measure up to saba?  All the saba in the world?”

Haru’s face softened, his sigh wholly content.  “Saba’s got nothing on you, Rin.”

…Eventually, they pried themselves apart to change, donning tuxedos for the remainder of the evening.  Both were black, but Rin’s had a charcoal gray silk shirt—sans tie—and a ruby-colored vest with matching pocket square, while Haru’s had a dark gray vest, a crisp white tuxedo shirt, and a sea-blue bowtie to match his pocket square.

Rin was just pulling up his trousers—and trying to be quick about it—as Haru happened to glance over—

“Rin, _what_ are you wearing?”

“What?”  Rin blushed hard, quickly fastening his pants.  “Sousuke insisted on ‘something blue,’ so…”  Electric blue, in fact, and cheeky, the booty shorts courtesy of the ‘bookstore’ on Davie Street.

Haru pressed his lips, tugging on the collar of the shirt he’d just finished buttoning as he looked Rin over.  “You’ll show me later?”

Rin snorted.  “Of course, I’ll show you later.”  He couldn’t wait for later.

Haru exhaled, long and slow.  “OK then,” he said, going back to his bowtie.

Once dressed, they headed to the banquet hall hand-in-hand, waiting by the entrance as the DJ announced them (in English).

_“For the first time ever, presenting Mr. and Mr. Matsuoka-Nanase—”_

“Nn.  Why is your name first?” Haru asked.

“English alphabetical.”  Rin grinned.  “Go with it, _Husband_.”

Haru’s eyes blew wide, like he’d just seen _water_ for the first time.

Rin smothered a laugh as Haru pulled him through the doorway and onto the dancefloor while their guests cheered and _We are Family_ by Sister Sledge started to play.  Their choreographed entrance wasn’t supposed to include Haru twirling Rin and dipping him nearly to the floor…but Rin was _not_ (definitely not) complaining as they kissed, his arms twined around his husband’s neck.

-x-

There was plenty of saba on the dinner menu that night, plus dancing, champagne toasts, rainbow cake iced with white vanilla frosting, and even more dancing as the sun set through floor-to-ceiling windows and the stars started to come out.

It was still early when Sousuke and Makoto kidnapped them, running them through a gauntlet of their loved ones, down the stairs, and outside to the limo waiting at the curb.

Makoto gave them a hotel keycard.  “Have a good night, you two!” 

Sousuke winked.  “You know they will.”  He closed the door, Rin blushing a little.

As the limo sped away from the restaurant, Rin exhaled, warm from the champagne but warmer with the anticipation of spending the night in his husband’s arms.  “Haru—”  He twisted in his seat and Haru was there, drawing him in—

They only kissed in the car.  Even without needing to check in, they still had to walk through the lobby.

Their room was on a mid-level floor of the Fairmont Pacific Rim; Rin could smell the sakura as soon as Haru opened the door.  Petals were strewn across the white duvet on the king-sized bed and scattered on the water in the Japanese-style ofuro, where full-length windows looked out over the twinkling lights of the harbor.  At strategic places throughout the room were supplies—probably also from the bookstore—presented with pink fabric ribbons, plus a bottle of champagne on ice and a tray of chocolates. 

“They covered all the bases,” Haru said, picking up a small red bottle by the bed to examine it.

Rin did not comment, slipping the privacy sign on the door handle and flipping the locks before joining Haru.

Haru offered the bottle with an arched brow.  “Cherry-scented.”

“Uh-huh,” Rin said, not giving the bottle a second look as he kissed his husband.

…Haru took his time appreciating Rin’s underclothes once they got that far (tuxedos had _so many_ layers), running his hands everywhere until Rin couldn’t take it any longer.  _Finally_ naked, they kissed their way into the shower area by the ofuro, managing not to trip over each other.

Rin turned on the water, adjusting it to their liking as Haru leaned against him, kissing and nuzzling.

“Rin, tonight, you still wanna go without…?”

“Yeah,” Rin whispered between kisses.  “You?”

“Yeah.”

They’d discussed it months before, deciding together to save this one thing until now, to make their wedding night special.

They spent a while beneath the warm spray, washing each other thoroughly and carefully before they slipped into the bath to soak, tease, and unwind…  It was mostly teasing—gasps pressed against skin, sparks slowly fanned into sweet flames.  Rin tipped his head back, reclined against the edge of the ofuro, his chest rising and falling with hard breaths beneath the heat of Haru’s body. 

“Haru…”  With that whisper and the gentle squeeze of wet shoulders, Rin communicated what he wanted, what he needed.

Haru nodded, catching his lips for a kiss.

They abandoned the bath for the bed, toweling off lightly before Haru laid him down against the duvet.  The sakura petals were fragrant, crushed beneath their damp bodies as Rin breathlessly wrapped his arms around his husband.

-x-

…Their lovemaking left the flowers stuck to their skin, the subtle scent of cherries surrounding them as they cuddled on top of the covers by low lamplight, the city skyline sparkling beyond the windows.

“Want a shower, Rin?” Haru asked, pressing kisses to the side of Rin’s neck as they gradually caught their breath.

“Nn.”  They’d need to eventually, but…  Rin tightened his arms, unwilling to let Haru go.  “Not yet.”

Haru hummed, lifting his head.

Rin caught sight of Haru’s smile and melted…and melted even more when Haru kissed the gold ring on his finger, answering in a whisper—

“OK, Husband.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Playlist (digging deep into Toraichi's record collection for these) XD  
>  _[Stand By Me](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hwZNL7QVJjE)_ (Ben E. King), _[Signed, Sealed, Delivered](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=inXC_lab-34)_ (Stevie Wonder), _[We are Family](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uyGY2NfYpeE)_ (Sister Sledge)
> 
> Wedding  
>  _PL-21 Kojima_ [Pic showing the Helipad on the aft deck](https://www.jcga.ac.jp/2009/wwwe/kojima/story/kj3exp022_800.JPG) ...and this [epic pic](https://img.huffingtonpost.com/asset/597750d815000024008b3758.jpg?ops=scalefit_820_noupscale) I just have to include XD
> 
> Other wedding inspirations [here (Ceremony)](https://www.theknot.com/content/gay-wedding-ceremony-scripts) and [here (who walks down the aisle?!?)](https://www.brides.com/story/who-walks-down-aisle-at-same-sex-wedding)
> 
> Reception  
> Yes - those are the Gold Evolution tuxes from the [S3 ending theme](https://youtu.be/EZoVJ8VEFaM?t=45) XD  
> [Restaurant](http://boathouserestaurants.ca/wp-content/themes/boathouse/assets/images/photos/kits_4.jpg)  
> [Rainbow cake!](https://www.weddingwire.com/wedding-ideas/gay-wedding-ideas-showcase-pride)
> 
> [Ofuro room at the hotel](https://www.oyster.com/vancouver/hotels/fairmont-pacific-rim/photos/signature-ofuro/)


	18. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh, my short ~~5 chapter / 25k~~ fic is finally done. Thanks so much for reading!! ❤❤❤

* * *

Friday, August 8th, 2025 – Sendai

* * *

The swells were over a meter high, the buoy slipping down the backside of the wave before Rin caught it, wrapping a gloved hand around the thick cable and clipping in.  The downwash from the _Super Puma_ ’s whirling rotor blades created a vortex of bracing winds, cold seawater slapping him in the face—thank God his mask was tight and still attached—that the subject hadn’t managed to knock it free with thrashing limbs during the initial rescue (it happened; Rin was used to it).  She was quieter now, shivering and hugging the float with a death grip, despite being strapped to it and to Rin; even had she passed out, she would’ve been fine.

The helicopter’s search lights cast a bright, white halo on the water, illuminating the scattered debris from the wrecked boat and the shards of rock where the craft had run aground and been dashed to pieces by the waves.  It was pitch black otherwise, the night overcast with thick clouds, rain, and ceaseless winds.  Every search and rescue mission, especially in conditions as difficult as these, relied on protocol, training, relentless pursuit, and also prayer.  Things didn’t always go this well.

Rin hauled the woman to the winch line, weaving the strop around her back, under both arms, and fastening it securely.  He had to shout to be heard over the rhythmic slicing of the rotor blades and the downwash whipping them in the face.  “Ma’am, I’m going to take you up, alright?” 

The woman nodded, wet hair plastered to her cheeks as she grabbed straps on his utility vest.  “Don’t let go!”

“I won’t.”  Rin finished his safety checks and twisted, signaling to Haru, who was a few meters away with the second subject, bobbing amidst the swells.

Haru gave the OK back and Rin waved for lift.

The woman gave a soft yelp as the cable went taut, pulling them from the water.

“Don’t worry, I’ve got you.”

It took less than a minute for them to reach the hovering craft where Sousuke waited, leaning out the open door to clip onto them and pull them inside.  Once they were safely in the cabin, Rin disconnected the strop, handing the woman off to the paramedics.  He stayed suited up, near the door but out of the way.

“Swimmer one and target one are secure,” Sousuke said, keying his mic.  “Dropping for swimmer two.” 

“ _Roger_ ,” came the reply from the flight deck over the cabin speakers.

As Sousuke reset the winch, lowering the red buoy down to the swells, Rin took up a flanking position, still clipped to the safety rail.

Below, Haru swam to the line, towing the second individual they’d pulled from the boat’s wreckage.  Waves washed over Haru’s yellow helmet as he worked, the heli’s search lights gleaming off the reflective markings on his snorkel and gear.

It took thirty seconds, if that, then Haru gave the signal and Sousuke waved back.

“Hoisting swimmer two.”

“ _Hoist away_.”

The winch went to work, motor humming; there was only the lightest shimmy as the rugged _Super Puma_ took the weight of two water-logged adults on the line.  Their pilot kept the heli in a stable hover—as much as the winds allowed—as the cable coiled around the drum and Haru ascended with the second target.

Rin readied a line from the left as Sousuke did the same from the right.  As soon as Haru was within reach, they each grabbed an arm, clipping onto Haru’s harness and pulling both men inside. 

“Swimmer two and target two are secure.  Closing up.”

_“Roger.  Advise when complete.”_

“Wilco.”

Rin assisted as they freed the man from the strop, passing him into the waiting arms of the paramedics, who quickly covered him in blankets and started checking his vitals.

Sousuke slid the door closed—latched and locked—and Rin finally rolled his shoulders, allowing himself a deeper breath.  The mission wasn’t over until there was concrete under their boots, but they were two-for-two out of the water and that was always something to be glad about—to be thankful for.

Before Rin could unclip, Haru was there, touching their masks together, exhaling a cold breath against Rin’s lips.  Rin smiled, his frozen limbs thawing in the warmth of his husband’s gaze.  He touched Haru’s helmet, pressing in for the briefest of moments, then they strapped into side-by-side seats, removing their flippers and masks, toweling off as much water as they could.

Sousuke was the last to sit down, fastening his five-point harness before keying the mic.  “Flight Deck, cabin is secure.”

_“Copy that.  We’re headed in.”_

Rin removed his helmet, holding it between his knees as he tucked his mask and snorkel inside.  Raking wet hair back, he dried his face—just in time to get freshly sprinkled by cold droplets as Haru shook the water from his hair.

 _Haru, damnit_.  Rin sighed, draping the towel over his head as Sousuke snorted, throwing a second towel in Haru’s face.

“Thanks for sharing, Haru.”

“You’re welcome.”  Haru blithely scrubbed his hair with the extra towel, as unapologetic as ever.

Rin patted his face dry (again) and leaned back against his seat.  It was nearing 4AM according to the instrument panel on the wall and he was sorely looking forward to a hot shower, dry clothes, and—eventually—a warm bed where he could fall asleep curled up with Haru…

“Honey, I think I hit my head.”

“Well, probably.  We—”

“No, I mean—”

The rescued couple was wrapped in towels and blankets, strapped in between the paramedics, with little packets of warm water to sip.

“Don’t those boys look familiar?  From TV maybe.”

Rin pressed his lips, hiding a smile.  ‘ _Boys,’ huh?_   He exchanged a knowing glance with Haru.  It wasn’t a bad compliment, given that they were thirty-four and thirty-five, married, with kids…

“You mean from one of those dramas you watch?”

“No!  Something else.  Um…water-related, I think.”

As she puzzled it out, Rin said nothing.  Haru and Sousuke didn’t drop any hints either.  Their names were written on their sleeves in English and Japanese, but—even with multiple medals to their credit—they weren’t exactly Olympic legends like Damien Andrews or Sugiyama Noboru.

“Oh, I know!!  From the swimsuit ads!  For the speedos!”

 _Oh, for the love of…_   Rin cringed, his cheeks heating despite how cold and wet he was.  He hid his face against Haru’s shoulder, unable to look anyone in the eye at that moment.  Never mind their _gold medals_ from Tokyo 2020—he definitely wanted to be remembered for how his ass looked in skimpy swimwear.  The muscle-baring photoshoot with Haru, Sousuke, Seijuurou, and Natsuya (Rin made a lot of good decisions in his early twenties; that was _not_ one of them) had graced billboards in Shibuya for _weeks_ —

Haru made a soft sound of amusement.

“That was a fun campaign,” Sousuke said.

“I knew it!” 

One of the paramedics chuckled.  “I think your head’s just fine, ma’am.”

Inwardly, Rin groaned.  _Can we fly faster, please?_

-x-

The sun was rising over Sendai airfield as they came in to land on the Coast Guard ramp (after dropping off the rescued couple at Sendai City Hospital to get checked out).  The pilot put them down on one of the vacant helipads, near a _Cessna 172_ with its prop already spinning.

_“Ground, Coast Guard Training flight two-zero-five is looking for VFR in the pattern this morning, for multiples as able.”_

The voice over radio was familiar—Aimi getting a couple hours of extra practice in before flight school classes started for the morning.

Rin disconnected his headset, hopping down to concrete with his gear.  He joined Haru, waving as Aimi taxied out.  She waved back at them with a grin and a thumbs-up, directing the little plane southeast on taxiway A3 towards runway 30.  By this time next year, they’d be seeing her in the flight deck as a Coast Guard First Officer.

And no, the thought didn’t make Rin feel old at all…

With little time before they were due in postflight, Rin led the way inside.  They rinsed and turned in their gear, then headed for the showers.  Rin would’ve liked to linger—to thaw out if nothing else—but they did the two-minute drill (rinse-lather-rinse) instead, towel-drying their hair before donning their uniforms.

Haru never complained about rushing from the shower, because some things—some _moments_ —were more important than water.  In their corner of the locker room, Rin took off the necklace he wore, slipping Haru’s wedding ring from the chain, the gold still warm from being pressed against his heart.

Haru’s eyes were soft with pleasure as he did the same, as they slid the rings onto each other’s fingers by feel—trading back what they’d entrusted with a kiss and a promise (half-promise, half-prayer) before the mission.

As their lips brushed, as they held each other for precious seconds, Rin silently thanked God for always watching over them, for bringing them back—whole and safe—together.

“Love you,” he whispered.

“Mm.”  Haru smiled, tightening his arms.  “Love you.”

The day shift team was waiting outside the postflight room when they arrived.

“How was it?  Weather’s kind of meh, huh?” one of the swimmers asked.

Rin exchanged a glance with Haru and Sousuke.  Any successful mission was a good mission.  As for creature comforts, they’d had worse—like the time Rin was on winch and Haru and Sousuke had to dive through river muck, returning encased in mud up to their necks…or those flights when the air aloft was so turbulent even seasoned aviators were getting airsick.

Sousuke lifted his mug of stale, reheated coffee and smiled.  “Living the dream.”

Rin grinned, fist-bumping his best friend and his husband, all three of them heading to their seats.

-x-

They carpooled home, Sousuke dropping them off in front of their quiet two-story home, ten minutes north of the airport, before continuing a block down the street to his place.  Rin’s parents’ car was absent from the driveway, which probably meant his dad was off involved in one of his many retirement pursuits, like sunrise photography or teaching classes on boating safety.  On weekends when their schedules allowed, sometimes Haru and their daughter Saki joined Toraichi on his photography outings.  Occasionally, Gou came too, but those trips inevitably snowballed into elaborate productions with models and bronzer and results like Gou’s recent award-winning magazine spread: _Golden Lats by Sunrise_.

Rin liked to sleep in, those mornings, while their boys chased each other through the house.  (He’d trained himself to sleep through the noise; it was sudden and suspicious _silence_ that forced him out of bed.)

The neighborhood was just starting to wake up for the morning; the kids would need to be off to school in an hour.  Haru had Rin’s hand as they headed inside, greeted immediately by mouthwatering smells coming from the kitchen—saba (of course), but also meat and stewed vegetables…

“Tadaima.”  They toed off their shoes in the entryway, just as eleven-year-old Taiki came around the corner in striped blue pajamas, rubbing his eyes and toting the stuffed shark he claimed he’d outgrown.  His coppery black hair was adorably askew and pale freckles were splashed across his nose and along both cheeks.

“Okaeri, Dads.”  Taiki sleepily stretched out an arm for hugs.  “Yuki-nii’s hogging the bathroom.”

As Haru hugged their son first, Rin poked his head into the stairwell.  “Yuki!  Stop primping and come down for breakfast!”

A door opened upstairs—  “I’m not _primping_.  I’m _shaving_.”

Rin bit back a chuckle.  At fifteen (and a half!), the kid had three whiskers if that—  He avoided Haru’s gaze to keep from laughing aloud, hugging their youngest instead.  “‘Morning, Taiki.  How’d you sleep?”  Rin stroked the boy’s head, trying in vain to tame a few of the wild spikes.

“Mm, good,” Taiki said with a yawn, leaning against Rin and closing his eyes.

Rin’s heart _melted_ ; he blinked back the sting as he savored the moment, holding their son.  Taiki had been the shiest of the three—they’d all had different ways and periods of adjustment; at first, at six years old, holding hands to cross the street was the most contact Taiki would allow and even then, he preferred Saki or Yuki. 

It had taken him months to warm up to Haru and especially to Rin—months of being quiet and present while Taiki silently observed and absorbed (which came naturally to Haru, but Rin found intensely difficult), months of Rin fretting if the boy was happy with them or would ever be happy with them, months of Haru soothing him. 

_Just be patient, Rin.  Taiki will tell us if he doesn’t want to be here._

It took all the way until the summer Taiki turned seven, when they made him a birthday cake with seven glowing candles, sang _Happy Birthday_ , and told Taiki to make a wish as he blew them out—

_Taiki started to cry instead—big fat tears, his lower lip quivering._

_“Taiki, what’s wrong?”  They all asked the question, Saki—who was closest—laying a gentle arm around the boy’s shoulders._

_Rin would never forget that moment, as Taiki looked across at him and Haru with tears rolling down both cheeks, as he trembled and swallowed and asked in the tiniest voice—_

_“I can really stay forever?”_

_It was a God-granted miracle that Rin held the tears back long enough to answer, crushing Haru’s hand beneath the table, “Forever.”_

_“_ Forever _,” Haru said, his voice raw as he fought his own tears.  “It’s a promise, Taiki.”_

_Taiki lit up with the brightest smile that Rin had ever seen, drying his eyes with his sleeve and gazing happily at the dancing candles on his cake.  He turned to his sister with a whisper, “Saki-nee, what do I do if my birthday wish already came true?”_

_Saki hugged him.  “You make another one, little brother.”_

_“Make it a good one,” Yuki said, nudging Taiki in the arm._

_Taiki nodded, resolutely planting both palms on the table and lifting himself up, drawing a deep breath—_

_Afterwards, Rin was doing dishes (crying into the sink), when Taiki snuck into the kitchen and hugged him for the first time._

_“Thanks, Daddy.  This was the best birthday.”_

_Rin hastily dried his face with a dish towel.  “You’re welcome, Son.”  He sucked in a breath and smiled, turning around.  “Is it OK if I hug you back?”_

_Taiki squeezed him around the waist, nodding._

_Rin carefully wrapped his arms around the boy, trembling a little, trying not to hug him too tightly.  He couldn’t stop the tears; they leaked out, running down his face._

_“Daddy.”  Taiki froze in his arms.  “You’re crying?”_

_“Because I’m so happy,” Rin whispered.  “Because there’s so much and I can’t hold it in anymore, so it’s coming out this way.”_

_“Oh.”  The boy seemed to ponder this for a moment.  “_ Oh _.”  His small shoulders relaxed.  “Then it’s OK, Daddy?”_

_“It’s OK, Taiki.  It’s really, really OK.”_

…Four years later, they’d come so far in trust, understanding, closeness (though Rin could still get into the waterworks in an instant).  He never wanted to forget the moment that truly made them _family._

—Then Yuki came flying down the stairs with a smudge of shaving cream under his chin, a _ton_ of product in his strawberry-blond hair, and his school uniform shirt half-buttoned and not tucked into his pants.  “Hi, Dads!”  He flashed them a toothy grin, not slowing one bit on his way to the kitchen to devour a refrigerator’s worth of food.  “Time for breakfast!”

Taiki gasped and pulled away from Rin.  “Wait for me!”  He dashed into the kitchen on his older brother’s heels.

Meanwhile, Saki (also fifteen) came downstairs fully dressed—her navy-blue uniform jacket and slacks as immaculate as her white button-down shirt underneath.  Her jet-black hair was twisted up and secured off the nape of her neck with a pincushion’s worth of bobby pins and two small seashell barrettes.  “Okaeri, Otouchan-tachi.”  Lifting on her tiptoes, she kissed their cheeks.  “How was work?”

“It was good,” Haru said.

“If cold,” Rin murmured as she released them.

Saki rocked back on her heels, her hands clasped behind her.  “You have tonight off?”  Expectation sparkled in her jade green eyes.

“Mm-hm.”  Rin shared a glance with Haru.

“And you’ll _rest_ before the race tomorrow?”

Rin scratched the back of his neck.  “Well, I don’t know…”

Haru hummed.  “I’ve always wanted to try underwater basket-weaving.  With all that spare time tonight—”

Saki huffed.  “Dads!”  She spun on heel and marched into the kitchen.  “Obaachan!  They’re hopelessly incorrigible!”

Rin muffled a laugh, taking Haru’s hand as they stepped into their slippers and padded down the hall.

Miyako was just setting serving plates on the table, her eyes twinkling as she met her granddaughter’s gaze.  “Oh my, yes.  And it’s just getting worse in their ripe old age, isn’t it?”  She winked at Rin, tucking an errant strand of ruby hair liberally streaked with silver behind her ear as she straightened.

Saki sighed, slipping neatly into one of the chairs at the table, her brothers already sparring over slices of grilled ham with their chopsticks.

“Mom…”  Rin rounded the table, wrapping an arm around his mother’s shoulders and kissing her cheek.  “I said you didn’t have to cook today.”

“I know.”  Miyako shooed him to a chair.  “But you’ve been working all night.” 

“It smells amazing, Mom,” Haru said, also greeting her with a kiss on the cheek before sitting down.

“Oh, Haruka.”  Miyako chuckled and blushed, setting plates in front of them—meat and salad for Rin, saba and salad for Haru, plus empty bowls for rice and miso soup, both of which were on the table already.  “When you rotate back to day shift, the two of you can take breakfast duty again.”  Smoothing a wrinkle from her apron, Miyako sat down and wrapped her hands around a mug of tea.  “Anyways, your father was up and out the door early this morning.” 

Rin reached over, squeezing her arm gently.  “Thanks, Mom.”

She smiled at him, patting his hand. 

“Yuki.”  Haru tapped his throat, nudging the tissue box towards their teenaged son.

Yuki gave up the sparring match long enough to grab a tissue and wipe his neck.  He glanced down at the blob of shaving cream with a gasp of dismay as the rest of them hid smiles.  “Thanks, Dad!”  Yuki grinned, blushing red as he dropped back into his chair.

“Taiki, soup?”  Steam wafted into the air, rich with the aroma of miso and seaweed, as Haru lifted the lid on the pot.

“Yes, please.”

Rin grabbed the rice paddle, twirling it across his fingers.  “Saki?”

“Just a little, thank you.”

“Can I have more, Dad?”

“Yuki, your bowl’s already full.”

Once everyone was served, they paused, palms pressed together— 

_“Itadakimasu.”_

Rin lifted his bowl of miso soup, sipping from the rim as he savored the moment.  The tranquility wouldn’t last—not with Yuki shoveling food away (wherever the heck he put it) and Taiki eyeing the unclaimed pieces of ham; it was only a matter of time before the fencing started up again and if anything ended up in Saki’s hair, they’d _all_ regret it.  But, coming home to their family, no matter what happened at work—

There wasn’t any better feeling in the world.

“What’s in the box?” Haru asked, nodding at the cardboard package occupying Toraichi’s seat at the table.

“Nn.”  Taiki made a face as he lowered his bowl of soup.  “Grandpa got weird shirts again.  Dads, do we _have_ to wear them?”

Yuki chased a bite of ham and toast with a huge gulp of juice and dug a hand into the box—

The shirts were all different colors—blinding neon shades—with gleaming metallic text, _Team Shark & Dolphin_ across the top.  Below, a shark and two dolphins (one large bottlenose and one smaller _mairuka_ with a tiny bow) tackled the waves.  Their names were on the back:  _Saki – Rin – Haruka_.

Rin pressed his lips.  _You’ve really outdone yourself this time, Dad._

“Ha!”  Yuki wiggled into a green shirt so bright it made Rin’s eyes hurt.  “You’re just jealous your name’s not on here.”

“I am not!”  Taiki flushed pink.

Haru sipped from his teacup.  “You’re free to choose what you wear, Taiki.”

“You’ll still cheer me on, right?  Little brother?” Saki asked, leaning close to her sibling.

Taiki turned large, adoring eyes on his sister.  “I’ll be the loudest one, Saki-nee!”

“Not a chance!”  Yuki swiped another slice of ham from the serving plate with his chopsticks.

“I will too!!  Stop taking all the ham!”

As the usual wrestling ensued, Rin smothered a sigh, sharing a fond look with his husband. 

Haru smiled with his eyes, tilting his head just so.  _It’s your turn._

 _Yeah…_   Rin cleared his throat, setting his bowl of soup on the table.  “I’m going to count to three.  Anyone _not_ calmly eating breakfast on three will be running laps around the house—”

-x-

Once the food was put away and the table cleared, Haru did the dishes while Rin packed the kids’ lunches.  Soon they were all out the door—dressed, shoes on, backpacks in order, the boys scrambling over one another.  “Itte kimasu!!”

Rin and Haru waved from the doorway.  “Itterasshai.”

The house was suddenly quiet then, only the two of them left with Miyako volunteering at Taiki’s elementary school for the morning.  For a second, they just stood there, breathing in the silence, the fatigue of a long night slipping in to fill the void of boundless energy now en route to school.

Haru turned with a tired smile, winding his arms around Rin’s waist, kissing him lightly.  “Wanna go to bed?”

“Yeah,” Rin whispered, kissing his husband back.

They headed upstairs hand-in-hand, the hallway full of pictures—photos with their family now outnumbering the podiums and medals.  After washing up, they headed into their bedroom, their windows overlooking the backyard and small flower garden.  Rin drew the blackout curtains while Haru set their alarm for early afternoon, just before the kids would be home from school.

Stripping down to their underwear, they slid into bed together, arranging themselves in a warm tangle and trading drowsy kisses in the dark.

“Oyasumi, Rin.”  Haru’s fingers carded gently through his hair.

Rin nuzzled his husband’s cheek, a contented half-sigh, half-yawn falling from his lips.  “Oyasumi, Haru.”  He closed his eyes, drifting off almost instantly in Haru’s arms.

* * *

Saturday, August 9th, 2025

* * *

The sakura tree was still young, thin branches dotted with fresh green leaves that swayed gently with the breeze.  It stood on the hillside with views down to the valley and the sea, shadowing a small granite marker with two names etched into the stone. 

Rin and Haru waited in their warmups, carrying their gear bags and Saki’s, as their daughter went on ahead in her navy-blue tracksuit.  Saki’s hair was braided and coiled up, fastened against the back of her head; only a couple strands had escaped, swaying against her cheeks as she knelt in the grass.  For a moment, she tidied the stone, brushing leaves and dust away.  There was no actual grave, her parents still numbered among the missing, fourteen years later.  Saki had been ten years old—it was a sunny summer day, just like this one—when the three of them planted the tree together, setting the marker underneath with tears and hugs and Rin’s whispered apologies between sobs—

_“I’m sorry—”  His voice broke—as raw and shattered as he felt inside, the weight of a thousand fruitless searches pressing down on his shoulders.  “I’m sorry we couldn’t bring them home to you.”_

_But Saki clung to him, shaking her head—lifting him and piecing him back together with the love in her eyes.  “They are home, Dad.  I am, too.”_

…Someone always brought a packet of tissues whenever they came; Rin never got through a visit completely dry-eyed.

Saki bowed her head, palms pressed together.  “Okaasama, Otousama.”

The telltale lump was already forming in Rin’s throat.  He drew a slow breath, clutching Haru’s hand.

“I’m racing today—can you believe it?  My first ever open-water 5k.  I thought I’d never do this.  I thought I’d be afraid and angry forever.  _But_.”  Saki lifted her head, the smile evident in her voice.  “I’m not anymore.  Because my family here—because my Dads—showed me I don’t have to be.  And even though I miss you, even though I’m still sad sometimes, I know that you’d be proud of me.”

Heat welled up in Rin’s eyes.  He trapped his lips between his teeth to stop them from trembling.

Saki straightened, settling back on her heels.  “So watch me today, OK?  And don’t worry—they’re taking really good care of me.  Someday…  Not soon, I guess, but _someday_ , when we’re all together in heaven, I’ll introduce you.  I know you’ll love them just as much as I do.”

 _Saki—_   All of Rin’s efforts were in vain, the tears flooding down his face and dripping from his chin.  He couldn’t even look at Haru beside him, sniffing hard and doing everything just to keep from sobbing outright as Saki rose to her feet.

“Oh, Dads…”  She was suddenly there, hugging both of them at once.  “I made you cry again.”

Rin shook his head, finally looking over…  He met the redness of Haru’s eyes, the wetness on his lover’s face as Haru fumbled for the tissue packet. 

“They’re good tears, Saki,” Haru whispered, pulling out tissues and handing one to Rin.

Rin nodded, quickly wiping his face, breathing through the tears.  _We’ve been crying over you since the moment you decided to join our family._

Saki smiled, squeezing them tighter.  “Love you.”

“Love you too.”  Rin and Haru hugged her back.

The breeze was cool against their damp cheeks, rippling across their warmups as they slowly calmed, the tears gradually fading.

“Um, Dad?”  Saki nudged Rin.

“Yeah, Mairuka?”

“…You’re crying in my hair.”

“I’m…I’m not.”  Rin winced as Haru and Saki chuckled, his heart filled to the brim as they parted, Saki tugging her gear bag off Rin’s shoulder.

Rin met their smiles, grabbing a second tissue to dry his face.  He was only halfway done as Haru pulled him in for another hug.

“Rin, let’s go swimming.”

“Ah.”  He grinned at his husband and daughter, yielding to their hands as they headed down the hill together.

-x-

It was hot and sunny at the shore, the beach crowded with event tents, competitors, and spectators  camped out on the sand beneath colorful sun shelters.  Vendors lined the concrete boardwalk nearby, selling drinks and snacks.  The 1.25km course was marked with bright orange buoys while a huge inflated archway in the water indicated the finish line.

“Uncle Rin!  Uncle Haru!  Cousin Saki!” 

They were swarmed as soon as they stepped out onto the sand, surrounded by nieces and nephews of all ages—Matsuokas, Mikoshibas, and Yamazakis—the youngest ones decked out in neon-colored floatation devices and slathered in sunscreen.  Rin was led by the hand by three of the children, all pulling at the same time, to their cluster of sun shelters.  Every year there were more banners and signs as all the grandparents and parents sought to out-do each other, with the Matsuoka-Nanase clan right in the center as usual.  Rin’s parents and Haru’s (who had just flown in this morning) all wore _Team Shark & Dolphin_ T-shirts.  Yuki had rolled up the sleeves of his shirt to make a tank top and was strutting around and flexing in front of his younger cousins (and any girls who happened to be present).  Taiki had opted for a comparatively understated blue T-shirt with a stylized dolphin and shark on the front, which could only be another Grandpa Toraichi custom order, especially for Taiki.  (Taiki was also rocking a pair of sunglasses—a gift from Grandpa and Grandma Nanase—and looking very serious indeed, a perfectly professional race spectator.)

Aimi was there, too, in a lavender sundress, wrapping Saki in a tight hug.  The girls were close friends—Aimi was only two years older—and Rin didn’t doubt that Saki’s interest in the Coast Guard had as much to do with Aimi as any stories Rin or Haru could tell.

Registration was the usual exercise of organized chaos with all of the kids underfoot (there were two 500m races for elementary school children in the afternoon).  Following a brief word from the organizers, the events got underway…

The community 5k was a free for all, middle-school age and up, casual swimmers and professional open water athletes, everyone in the water at the same time.  The notion had never bothered Rin before, but now, standing in the calf-deep waves, awaiting the start, he side-eyed the competition—particularly up-and-coming hotshots like Seijuurou’s latest protégé, Kiyabu Shouhei in his Team Japan techsuit.

Any swimmer who made eye contact earned a frosty look Rin had spent years perfecting.  _If you elbow or kick my daughter, I will hurt you._

Sousuke snorted beside him.  “Rin, you’re doing that thing we talked about.”

Rin perched a hand on his hip.  “I am not.”

“You are, Babe,” Haru said from Rin’s right, smiling fondly.

Saki glanced back at him, adjusting her swim cap.  “You are, Dad.”

 _Tch._ “I’m just saying—staggered starts would _not_ be a bad idea—”

“Saki can hold her own,” Takara said with a wink.  “If they start throwing elbows, throw back!  Just mind the officials.”

“Oi!”  _Parent your own children, damnit!_

Haru stretched his arms over his head, his triceps and traps flexing in the sun.  “All’s fair in love and swimming.”

“Haru, you are not helping.”

Haru merely smirked in reply, swinging his arms as the ready whistle sounded from the shore.

An excited buzz went through the swimmers—the younger ones especially—as they splashed down to the start line, jostling for front positions.  Rin, Haru, and the other veterans who knew better stayed towards the back.  Spectators lined the beach, shouting and cheering from the sand. 

And, of course, the combined Matsuoka-Nanase-Yamazaki-Mikoshiba clan was the loudest by far.

“Dads!!”  “Saki-chan!!”  “Saki-nee!”

“Mama!”  “Papa!” 

“Work those lats, Isuzu!”

“Mom!  Enough with the muscle pictures!”

Rin rolled his eyes, sharing a chuckle with Haru.

Their daughter fiddled with her goggles, turning to them with a bright if anxious smile.  “I’ll…I’ll see you out there.”

Haru wrapped her up in an instant, his arms circling her smaller frame, their swim caps squeaking as he touched their foreheads together.  “You got this, Saki.”

She drew a deep breath, looking Haru in the eyes…and let it out in a puff, smiling.  “ _Hai_.”  She pulled free, hugging Rin as well for good measure, and left them with a wave to join the other girls her age.

Haru pressed his goggles into place.  “Ready, Rin?” he asked, a knowing smile on his lips.

Rin snapped his goggle strap and grinned.  “I am now.”

-x-

Rin could’ve swum the entire five kilometers at their daughter’s side, keeping the other competitors at bay, but Saki would’ve gotten mad.  And anyway, one sassy look from Haru had him racing like they were nineteen again—kicking up the salty blue water side-by-side, stretching to take the lead, trading teasing glances just as spicy as their shave-down session yesterday—

The hour was up too soon—the end of the fourth lap with the red finish arch looming ahead, flanked by timekeepers.  In retrospect, he should’ve slowed down, just to make it last a little longer.  But there was never any holding back, swimming with Haru—not when they were ten and eleven, not now twenty-four years later.  They flew across the line together—whichever of them had edged ahead, Rin didn’t know and didn’t care as they found each other, tumbling in the offshore surf in a salty and breathless liplock before finally coming up for air.

Haru got to his feet first in the thigh-deep water, reaching down—  Rin clasped his husband’s hand, letting himself be pulled into an embrace that Gou’s camera lens would undoubtedly find.  Sharing grins and breathing hard, they turned back to the course—not letting go of each other—as they searched out their daughter in her electric blue swim cap, finding her towards the edge of a large pack of swimmers—

“Saki!!” 

“ _Saki!!_ ”  Rin hadn’t caught his breath yet, but he yelled and kept yelling anyways, watching Saki’s arms dip into the waves.

Approaching the finish line, the pack changed shape, stretching out as swimmers came up to their sprints for the last few hundred meters.  Foam and limbs were flying; for a moment Rin lost sight of her, his heart leaping into his throat—

But then Saki surfaced—on the ankles of the lead swimmers and gaining ground, pulling away from the group—

Rin shouted himself deaf, his fingers digging into Haru’s shoulder (Haru had a tight grip on his waist), his eyes stinging with saltwater and warmth as their daughter charged down the final stretch, gliding beneath the arch—

Saki came up with a huge smile, her face as bright as the sun above as she collapsed breathlessly into their arms.  “Dads, I did it!”

Neither of them had words as they hugged her—Rin was crying again (Haru was sniffling) and he’d never been happier in his life.

-x-

Saki had taken third place among the girls in her age group (13-17).  Rin cried throughout the awards ceremony as their daughter got a small bronze medal, while Gou snapped pictures and Haru filmed the whole thing. 

“Saki-nee!!”  “Saki!!”  Taiki had Rin’s hand, while Yuki fist-pumped next to Haru.  Their parents, not to mention all the Uncles and Aunties, were embarrassingly loud, though Saki didn’t seem to mind—beaming and waving as the medal gleamed against her navy-blue suit and her wet hair dripped onto the awards platform.

They welcomed her with another hug—brothers and grandparents and everyone, this time—with Saki in the middle, grinning shyly as she offered up the little medal.

“It’s not gold, but—”

Rin chuckled, his eyes filling with fresh tears.  “Saki—”

“It’s going on the wall,” Haru said.

Their daughter gasped.  “You can’t hang this next to Olympic medals!!”

Rin met Haru’s gaze and grinned.  “Watch us, Mairuka.”

Saki’s eyes went wide and liquid, her lower lip trembling.  “ _Dads_ ,” she whispered, squeezing them so tight it was hard to breathe.  Her tears fell on both of their shoulders and Rin could only sigh, kissing her wet hair, his head leaned against Haru’s.

 _Living the dream_ …words usually uttered over stale coffee on water-logged nights when they were hungry, tired, and cold, or when there were three different kinds of homework that didn’t get done, on mornings of meltdowns and hair-pulling when they were zero for three on getting the kids to school on time and Rin would log on to support forums for adoptive parents, passing out face-down on the keyboard…  Sometimes there weren’t any words at all—when missions went wrong and people didn’t get saved and the pain was so sharp there weren’t any tears left to cry.

But nights of heartbreak never lasted forever…and the sunrise after the storm was always the most beautiful.  Life came in days, seasons, moments—ups and downs and everything in between.  Rin learned long ago that it was all worth cherishing—that every second was precious.  (The man who taught him was on the edge of the hug, with Rin’s mother, both of them wiping away tears.)

And at the center of their family was the love that tied them together, filling their sails, growing stronger and deeper with each shared heartbeat.

Mere _dreams_ couldn’t compete with this—not even close. 

When Haru’s lips brushed his cheek, Rin had to sneak a kiss, even with an audience.

“Aww, _Dads_ …”

Their son’s complaint only made them grin and kiss again.

-x-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mairuka (マイルか) is a [type of dolphin](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Delphinus_delphis_with_calf.jpg)
> 
> And here's a [JCG video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cbZX_24xhS4)


End file.
